I have a new store NEW STORE new store NEW STORE!!!
The new HE store is live at explosm! There are new signed prints and posters (previously only available at conventions), and for the first time I’m offering signed books! More info HERE.
Holy buttshoveling crapbananas, NYCC kicked my ass. That was the hardest and longest I have ever worked at a convention. My apologies to any Fancy Bastards that wanted to come up and say hi, but were unable to penetrate the usually 25-40 person line at the Cyanide And Happiness booth. That was the first show I’ve ever worked as a “hired pen” and I kind of had a feeling there might not be a whole lot of HijiNKS Ensuing at the booth occupied by a comic with roughly 100 times my audience. Still, it was a wonderful experience and I had an amazing time drawing stick figure dick jokes with my friends for 10 hours a day, 4 days straight. That much rapid fire, “don’t think, just draw” sketching was a fantastic jolt to my creative juicebox. I’m home now, and rested and ready to get back to making some comics for you.
“Previously, on Pants M.D.…”
The average lawyer makes around $150,000 a year and their pants usually cost a few hundred to a few thousand dollars. Astronauts make about $100,000 a year and their pants cost roughly $6,000,000 a pair. Anesthesiologists earn $400,000 a year and their pants cost maybe $10 and sometimes have flowers on them. I don’t have a pants-point. That’s just food for pants-thought.
COMMENTERS: What’s the most expensive article of clothing you’ve ever allowed yourself to buy or been forced to buy?
When I got my very first paycheck from my very first job (selling Rollerblades at Academy) I went straight to the mall and bought a discman, some CD’s and a pair of hunter green Doc Marten’s boots. They were $120. I felt like a rich man. A wealth king. A SUPER WEALTH KING. The boots were dumb. They were also probably not the most expensive clothing item I’ve ever bought, but that memory certainly sits right up on the surface of my mindhead and it easily recalled.
UPDATE ON THE FANCY DIGITAL SKETCH DRIVE: If you are still waiting on your Fancy Digital Sketch, I am SUPER BACKLOGGED on these. I am very sorry it’s taking so long. I am working through them, but if you need yours urgently, feel free to let me know via email.
Have you seen my wife’s Etsy store, “Science and Fiction?” Check out her Starfleet pips choker!
Comments (48)
Kat · 87 weeks ago
All of my super expensive clothes are costume pieces. My corset ran me about $300 about eight years ago. It has held up remarkably well and I’ve used it in multiple costumes. I’ve also have a pair of boots that cost a little over $500 but they are the most comfortable shoes I have ever owned and should last me many many years.
Tiffany · 86 weeks ago
we are closet twins! I too have a $300 custom corset, it went under my $1000 Tudor wedding dress. (I don’t really count the dress because I rarely go “noble,” but the corset gets worn for “pirate” when I day trip) and a $600 pair of windwalker custom boots.I need to buy a second pair in darker colors, my blue/turquoise with assorted fall leaves doesn’t fly at the law office I work at.
Dean · 87 weeks ago
Job interview suit, shortly after graduating college. Otherwise, I avoid buying clothes until a family member drags me to the store out of pity or disgust.
Kurt Onstad · 87 weeks ago
$400 for a leather doublet. I was in a LARP, and I wanted a good outfit. I paid extra for the tuning to be purple.
Notebooked · 87 weeks ago
Shoes, after my old ones busted right through. Most of my other clothes I buy second-hand, except maybe pajamas, which are usually pretty cheap in regular stores.I am a college instructor, and I have a very strong rule about not changing out of pajama pants unless absolutely necessary…It’s amazing how many of your daily chores you can conduct in pajama pants without anyone noticing/caring
Just because people don’t say anything doesn’t mean they don’t notice.As someone who once served customers through a drive-through window, this is a fact I am well aware of.Just because you’re in a car doesn’t mean I can’t see your lack of pants.
That shirt and tie ain’t fooling anyone, pal.
bix · 87 weeks ago
A woman who I knew in graduate school went on to be an adjunct. A friend looked her up on ratemyprofessor.com and discovered that she had a very negative score, mostly due to the fact that she always showed up late to class wearing pajama pants.
Euan · 87 weeks ago
£350 ($560) for a proper kilt several years ago, just got a £230 ($370) jacket and waistcoat to complete the set for my weddingI once bought a $240 dress to wear to a chamber music concert because I had mysteriously dropped to a size 3 (cue rueful laughing… I’ve never seen that size again) and I just wanted to know what it was like to wear a fancy-ass dress to a fancy-ass concert. Within a year I couldn’t fit it anymore, and decided that was a dumb decision. Fortunately, I no longer make the kind of money that leads to those sorts of bad decisions.
TJ “Kiltman”Anderson · 87 weeks ago
I have a leather utilikilt that retailed at $1200, but I acquired for $650.. I also have a pair of new rock boots that retailed at $450, but got off ebay for $120.. combined with my motorcycle and top hat… it’s a conversation starting ensemble
UnderTheDark · 87 weeks ago
I also bought a leather kilt, from Stormy Leather, maybe 10 years back? Retailed for $500, but I worked for a company that carried them, so I got it for $225 🙂 Nothing makes me feel more badass than stomping around in that kilt and my Buffy Staked Edward t-shirt!
Daniel Sroka · 87 weeks ago
I got a bonus at work (during my Corporate Drone phase) that let me FINALLY pay off my student loans. With the left over cash, I went out and splurged on… socks. Nice sock. Good socks. Lots of socks. Silly, maybe. But damn that purchase made me feel good.You sound like April Ryan looking at a super-fancy store: “Once I saved enough to buy a pair of socks there. They were the best socks i ever had.”
MrPlow99 · 87 weeks ago
I bought a tux for about $300 about 10 years ago. It’s concert dress for the wind symphony I play in, and renting a tux 4 times a year vs. buying one was a no-brainer.in ’91 I bought a leather coat (not biker) for around $700… and in ’02 I bought a NASCAR Daytona 500 jacket for $450. Neither would be that spectacular except I live in Texas! I was looking at my coat closet today and realized it is full, completely full from wall to wall – which is silly for a person from the North but downright ludicrous for the Texan.
Fren · 87 weeks ago
Dunno, I got a nice pair of paratrooper-esque oxblood Doc boots about three years ago and they’re still in decent shape. I wear them practically daily, and they’re rather nice as work boots. You get what you pay for, in most cases.Personally, I tend not to spend much on clothing. I’m still using my ‘bought at the end of season on clearance’ eight dollar peacoat. Have been considering a nice utility waistcoat, though. Lots of pockets to hold tools!
Do shoes count? My hiking boots are like $90, which is why I haven’t bought any to replace my 3 year old pair…with holes in them.When graduating university, I went out and bought TWO business suits to replace the one I had since grade 8 graduation/family wedding season.
DeadRobot · 87 weeks ago
A sandtrooper outfit. Currently running at about $2000 after the mods I did to it.
Ceri · 87 weeks ago
A pair of black Doc Martin boots with rainbow stitching, back in the mid-90s. I don’t remember how much they were, but it was a LOT. I wore them for maybe two months, they gave me terrible blisters, and then the soles broke. Never again.Pretty sure the most expensive clothing I’ve ever bought was my wedding dress, at around $600 with tax and all. I just don’t get a lot of expensive clothing, you know?I think my wife’s wedding dress was something like $700 on sale for $300. Even then, and even considering her mom bought it, I felt stupid knowing that it would only ever be worn once. Why isn’t it more common to rent those things?*set to the tune of TLC’s “No Scrubs”*I just put on my scrubs
Cause sweats don’t get no love from Emily
Even though my sweats are alright
When I’m working inside
My wife is going to holler at me!Thanks. I have the Weird Al-like ability to take a song and change the lyrics to fit some wacky situation, like changing the lyrics to Beyonce’s “Halo” into a song about kicking ass and teabagging in HALO.
Rick · 87 weeks ago
Dude, my doctor wife doesn’t even BUY her scrubs. The hospital provides them. But then she wears $150 shoes.I bought two suits at $400 apiece to wear to my office drone job straight out of college. Since that contract ended (a year later and oh god 13 years ago), I think I could probably count the number of times I’ve worn them on my hands and have fingers left over. I do have a tuxedo that I wear for concerts, but it was significantly less.
Paul · 87 weeks ago
I am spectacularly cheap when it comes to buying clothes and I wear them until they fall apart (and sometimes longer–you should see my “yard work and car-washing” jeans). The most expensive wearables I’ve ever bought myself are probably the sneakers I’m wearing right now: New Balance 525 with nylon tops, which cost about $80 in 2010. Yes, three-year-old sneakers. I just walked ten miles in them last Saturday at a car show in Hershey, PA.
The guy who sold them to me said you should replace sneakers about twice a year. Hey, the soles aren’t worn through to the cushion layer yet!
Greg · 87 weeks ago
I still find it quite odd that Americans call trousers ‘pants’.In the UK, “pants” are underwear. Not boxers, though, the other kind.
This Guy · 87 weeks ago
…here. here is where I mean to post “Very nice job drawing Emily.”thanks! The hair is more fun than I thought. It has weight and physics and what not.
Zathael · 87 weeks ago
I’m a professional Cook.
I’m at the beginning of my career, which means I get paid in peanuts. Minimum wage peanuts.A passably good set of knives (1 Chef’s, 1 Paring, 1 Boning, 1 Bread) costs somewhere in the neighborhood of $500. Good ones can cost thousands. The best? Tens of thousands. No, Restaurants do not provide you with knives, you need to have your own.
’nuff said.
I just bought myself a pair of Altama mil spec combat boots to replace my old pair that I got about 13 years ago. The new pair cost me about $130 and once they’re broken in I will retire the old pair. I considered a pair of Doc Martens but they cost $220 for the pair I wanted (1916 classic MIE in black) and I can’t resole them so I just went with what has worked for me so far. I have Oakley sunglasses I bought for $100 10 years ago, so when I spend a lot on something I tend to take the best care of it I can.I also spent around $500 on a coat and shirt for my wedding ceremony and will spend about $300 more on my pants and boots. We’re doing a Gothic theme and the clothes are hand made so they cost quite a bit.
lou · 87 weeks ago
I am miraculously born without a fashion sense, so I never spent a dime on my own clothes. My parents would take me to Men’s Wearhouse to browse through the slacks shirts, jackets, and ties, because I have trouble with color coordination. And according to my mom, so does my dad, which is why we never go clothes shopping without her (again). The most I ask from my clothes is that they be comfortable and don’t get too hot or too cold. How they “look” is a matter of opinion.
Crotalus · 87 weeks ago
$150 for a set of Ti/Max motorcycle racing gauntlet gloves; kangaroo leather w. titanium armor plates.
Jeremy · 86 weeks ago
Around $300 for a pair of Red Wing boots that had polypropylene soles… in Minnesota. I’ve never fallen on my butt so many times per week, nor has anyone before or since. Hint: polypropylene is terrible on ice, unless you’re lining sled runners with it.$238 dress… to wear to someone’s wedding. Something too damn fancy (and kinda uncomfortable) to wear ever againHilariously enuff, just a few years later spent damn near $300 on a fancy (not-gothic lolita) dress + blouse set, plus shipping from Japan which wore quite a lot AND to another wedding
tiffany · 86 weeks ago
I think is funny that those of us who spent the most, spent it on costumes, or things like leather kilts and shit kicker boots. if the rest of you who do faire/sca/larp/cosplay are anything like my friends and me, the rest of your wardrobe is from thrift stores and the clearance rack, with a few statement pieces like a star trek polo, or a d20 necklace thrown in.I bought a $90 Nine West hat a few years back. Totally worth it though. I look damn attractive in that hat.
Do shoes count? My hiking boots are like $90, which is why I haven't bought any to replace my 3 year old pair…with holes in them.
I still find it quite odd that Americans call trousers 'pants'.
In the UK, "pants" are underwear. Not boxers, though, the other kind.