Predator Vs. Aliens

HijiNKS ENSUE PODCAST Episode 87 “ZombieWhatever.com” is live!

COMMENTERS: Did you like the first two episodes of this season of Doctor Who? PLEASE NO SPOILERS IF YOU KNOW THE ACTUAL ANSWER TO THE NEXT QUESTION!!! How do you suppose they are going to work Oswin into being the new companion, seeing as how the same access plays them both? The companion’s name is Clara Oswin, so do you suppose she is a relative of Oswin’s? AGAIN NO ACTUAL SPOILERS, but how do would you like Rory and Amy to depart vs. how do you think they’re actually going to depart? I bet Amy gets turned into a Weeping Angel and Rory gets crushed between two stray planets.

Also, feel free to make up your own Dalek Parent and Dalek Child dialog. “YOU MUST EXTERMINATE YOUR VEGETABLES BEFORE YOU HAVE ANY SWEETS! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!”

Putting Out Fires

HijiNKS ENSUE PODCAST Episode 87 “ZombieWhatever.com” is live!

I can’t say I’m totally in favor of tech that’s involuntarily ad supported. Maybe if it was an option for a lower upfront cost I’d be cool with it, but knowing that it’s just part of the package is a little hard to swallow. Of course Google (the actual search engine, not the media conglomerate that beams keywords into your nightmares based on specific childhood fears you wrote about on Facebook) is a piece of tech that only comes plastered with ads. So maybe that’s not such a bad way to keep costs done. Ok, in the course of two sentences I have invalidated my own opinion, or at least confused it a bit.

I remember in the late 90’s/early 2000’s when you could get free dial up if you agreed to have about 2″ of your 15″ (14″ viewable) monitor taken up with ads. I never got it to work at my apartment, but I had a few friends that did and they would make a bezel out of black tape around their screens to permanently cover the ads. Perhaps that was the first ad blocker. Speaking of ad blockers, if you use one please consider white-listing this site. I make a about a quarter of my income from ads and every little bit helps.

Despite being an iPad man myself, I am glad that there are more and more quality tablets hitting the market and taking a foothold. When I was a kid I always liked the “futuristic” shows that would depict the magical world of the year 2001 where everyone had a personal communication device about the size of a text book with them. I even made a cardboard and paper model of Penny’s Computer-Book from Inspector Gadget. Now there are at least 4 items in my house that could be described as computer books. I’m not saying a tablet in every hand drastically improves the world or the average person’s quality of life (though an argument could be made if we got down to specifics), but it does make everything feel more futurey and that is fine by me.

I feel like having a smartphone with relatively fast internet essentially makes you a cyborg. No joke. It gives you nearly instant access to essentially all human knowledge and effectively increases your memory and brainpower to superhuman levels. Sure you can’t tell me how far away the North Pole is off the top of your head, but you can find the information in less than 30 seconds. Effectively, isn’t that the same thing? What if your phone didn’t have a screen, but instead had a neural output that fed the information you requested directly into your brain? Would there be any difference in knowing the names of everyone that signed the Declaration of Independence or being able to recall and recite the information immediately? I already look at my brain’s relationship to my computer/phone/tablet/cloud storage as a relationship between two different computers. Instead of taxing my brain to remember the several hundred things on about a dozen differently prioritized to do lists (do now, do later, long term, website stuff, freelance stuff, etc.), I only have to remember to check the list. I have replaced hundreds of processes, commands, and chunks of memory with a single command and a single bit of data. You could do the same thing with a piece of paper, but that wouldn’t be nearly as fun.

I guess I didn’t talk about those new Kindle Fires much, huh? Well, it seemed like there were a lot of them. At least four. Maybe two hundred.

COMMENTERS: Please weigh in on ad-supported tech or the new Kindle Fires in general. Or share any stories about how far you have gone to defeat some measure intended to cripple a service you were using in some way. Any black tape on the monitor? Ever record early streaming internet radio to tape the edit out the commercials? If you are a weirdo like me, desperately clawing his or her way into a perceived “future,” please share your thoughts on “my phone makes me a brain robot.”

Sherlocked And Loaded

My wife and I shotgunned Sherlock series 1 and 2 in three days. It wouldn’t have taken THAT long if she hadn’t insisted on feeding, caring for and paying attention to our child. A child who can almost open a the Pop-Tarts box by herself which essentially makes her self sufficient. When we finished the series I felt that strange mix of relief and anticipation that comes with totally immersing yourself in a particular fiction for days at a time. You’re satisfied to have completed your goal, but anxious for there to be more of it. More to consume. When something is THAT good, waiting months for new installments is like… well, it’s almost like a REAL problem. Which it is not. Still… HURRY UP AND GET ME BACK TO 221B BAKER STREET! There’s mysteries what need solvin’!

I feel like Sherlock’s immensely impressive powers of deduction would be wasted on someone like me who rarely leaves the house other than to run simple errands or go to the airport, and who posts nearly every detail of his goings on to the Internet. He’d step foot in my dwelling (presumably where I had either just been murdered or been accused of such), rapidly flash across the items lying about – my suitcase (still packed from my last convention), my office (the room where I keep my piles of things), the couch with a big my-ass-shaped divot in it and me with my makes-British-look-Jamaican skin tone) – mumble, “Booorrrring,” under his breath and let D.I. Lestrade take it from there. Then he’d go convince Watson to let him shoot a cadaver off his head with a canon and torment his brother Minecraft Mycroft until an interesting case presented itself.

I had a friend in my early 20’s that reminds me of Sherlock. He was smarter than EVERYONE in the room and was exceedingly frustrated with how much less intelligent everyone was than him. Of course this just made him seem arrogant and callous, when in fact he was just struggling to figure out how to relate to regular dumb people. He was the kind of guy that would give away all of his possessions then not have money for rent, or sell his car to pay for school, then skip all of his classes to read books about obscure, unused programming languages and small mammals. He was also one of my favorite people in the world. He even looked quite a bit like Cumberbatch. The only point to share all of that with you is to convey that one of the reasons I fell in love with the show Sherlock mere minutes after starting it (regardless of it’s incredible cast, superb writing, and sublime character development) was that I felt like I knew this guy and instantly understood what made him tick. I wondered if Moffatt had a friend like mine who inspired Sherlock or if he was just a culmination of his understanding of the human condition.

COMMENTERS: Feel free to share your thoughts on Sherlock. Did you ever know anyone like Sherlock who simply can’t relate to regular, stupid humans? Are you going to watch the US Sherlock show, Elementary, with Lucy Liu and the guy from Hackers? Well, don’t. It’s going to be terrible. What series did you watch via dvd, streaming or other bulk means that you simply couldn’t stop watching? “Just one more episode…”

How Sparks McGee Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Mars Curiosity Rover

Podcast Episode 86 “Oh No! Promotheus!” is live.

Fine citizens, as you enjoy your hotted dogs, hamburger sandwiches and frisbee tossings and such on this finest of Labored Days, please also enjoy this Fancy Sketch filler art situation! Actual illustrated comic’d jocularities to resume POST HASTE!

If you are unfamiliar with the legend of Sparks McGee, then you may  attempt to enjoy this sketch (which was originally commissioned by Fancy Bastard Marijn R. during the Fancy Sketch Drive) by knowing only that it depicts Wesley Crusher in a cowboy hat and aviators riding the Mars Curiosity Rover. See? Fun abounds.

If you with to know more about young Ensign McGee, then I suggest you read Wil’s explanation of his origins, and Sparks’s continuing adventures.  For the totally uninitiated who find themselves far too busy to click links and read words, Sparks McGee is Wesley Crusher’s cocky alter ego who always gets the girl, always saves the day and always puts the adults in their place. If Captain Picard gives him a sideways glance, he tells that bald bastard EXACTLY where he can stick his Ressikan Flute.

 

Ask Not For Whom The Ring Tones

HijiNKS ENSUE At Dallas Animefest

This weekend (STARTING TODAY!) I’ll be at Dallas Animefest with Rob from Explosm. We’ll be in the dealer room, terrified of glomping cat-girls and Sailor Bubbas alike. I’ll have both HE Books, Prints, sketch cards, “Grammar Dalek” Shirts and “The Doctor Is In” shirts.

Podcast Episode 86 “Oh No! Promotheus!” is live.

The site seems to be having RSS feed problems again. Working on it, but for now the Fancy Full Feed for donors seems to be good and rightly borked.

My phone “rings” so infrequently, that when it does I am completely unprepared and incapable of dealing with it. Sometimes I get confused and angry all at once and start yelling, “WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING AT ME ROBOT!? I DON’T HAVE ANY FUEL FOR YOUR INTAKE PORT! BAD ROBOT! BAD!” Other times I get suspicious. The only people I like (my wife and my daughter) are IN THE HOUSE with me. Who the hell else could possibly be trying to talk to me unless they are an enemy agent of THE MOST UNCLEAN trying to trick me into a fiddle contest or a game of Words With Friends with their cloven-hoofed master? Oh Christicles! Is the call coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!?!?!? Did someone sign my 5 year old daughter up for a 2 year commitment calling plan!? WHAT KIND OF DATA PACKAGE DID SHE GET!? EVEN IF THEY SAID IT WAS UNLIMITED, THEY ARE RARELY ACTUALLY UNLIMITED! WHAT DID YOU DO MY DAUGHTER!?

I also have weird hangup about voicemails. I get all of 1, maybe 2 voicemails a month and I NEVER want to check them. I can see the name of the caller, and the time they called, and I can see the length of the voicemail they left. Somehow that seems like it should be enough information to discern their unheard message. What could they have possibly said in 14 seconds that was all that important? “HELP! FIRE! FACE FIRE! FIRE ON FACE!!!” That only took 8 seconds. Something seems fishy. What were they trying to convince me to do with those last 6 seconds? I’d better change my number and never talk to them again. WAIT! How long does it take to invite me to a super fun birthday party with bouncy castles!? FUCK. Only 11 seconds.

COMMENTERS: How has the changing telecommunications landscape altered your phone using habits? Are you annoyed by people that ONLY text or are you one of them? Does anyone use IM services anymore? Do you get frustrated that all of your friends aren’t on Skype video ALL OF THE TIME like you are?