Secret Agent Man

[It’s 4:30am. I’ll color this one when I wake up.]

Coulson Lives! Yay! Except that sort of deflates the emotional impetus for the unification of the team in the 3rd act of The Avengers! Boo! I have complex and conflicting emotions about a thing just like one of Joss Whedon’s characters! Yay! Oh no, I’ve been killed tragically, just like one of… You get the idea.

I am, in a word (SPOILERS: The word in question is “very.”) VERY excited about Marvel’s Agents Of SHIELD. The full trailer make it look like a more fun version of Fringe. Not that Fringe wasn’t fun. This just looks MORE fun. Perhaps more light hearted. I really hope it manages to bring back that “comedy in the face of tragedy, but also totally solid action and complex story telling” formula that has been missing from TV for so long. I can’t think of a single show that’s melded those attributes without leaning too heavily on one in spite of the others since Firefly, or before that, Buffy. Wait… I’m sensing a pattern here.

As for J.A.R.’s super secret role, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he is “basically Luke Cage” without actually being called “Luke Cage.” Seems like something they might do in order to free up licensing for the character and give them more creative freedom with his powers and backstory.

COMMENTERS: So is it just me or are super heroes still overwhelmingly white? I know there are efforts being made to introduce more variety in the hero landscape (the new half-hispanic, half-black Spider-Man comes to mind), and I know I haven’t been a big comic reader since I was 14 (about 17 years ago), but I still don’t see much diversity among the metahumans. Though it seems DC is more diverse than Marvel. That could also be a total misconception on my part, but it SEEMS that way. You tell me.

Comments (49)

Stranger · 107 weeks ago

You can blame latent racism covered up as “being true to the character” in comic circles for that. If they make a NEW minority character, no one reads it because “theyre just trying to be PC”. If they change identities to a legacy character with a minority, all hell breaks loose. There really is no way to win, comic fans just dont seem to want diversity.

13 replies · active 97 weeks ago

Bruden · 107 weeks ago

I’d disagree with that claim. Comic fans do want diversity. The problem is that most of the attempts at diversity are legitimately retconning a character to be black now, which is retconning that all comic fans absolutely hate, or making a blatant clone of an existing character with a new name and also it’s not a white male because “look at us we’re being diverse shower us with praise and publicity for being PC in comics!” PR stunts still haven’t gone the way of the dodo.If you introduce a new character, who isn’t simply “blackverine” but is actually interesting on their own merits, and rather than scream to the assembled press of the world “look at us we made black spider man, we are so into this cultural diversity thing buy our stuff!” you actually just focus on the merits of the character as a character instead of as a black guy, comic fans will be interested.

So far the comic CREATORS haven’t been very interested in making characters that aren’t a white male without holding a giant press party to celebrate how great they must be for having the courage to introduce Captain Mexican American.

InkBlot· 107 weeks ago

While I agree with your statement, I have to say, I really would like to read an issue or two of Blackverine and Captain Mexican American. I am *really* trying to treat this topic with a serious analytical eye, but those names make me helplessly giggle.

@musicchan · 107 weeks ago

I have to agree with the first paragraph; it’s exactly what I was thinking. I’d love to see more original, diverse characters in comics that aren’t just thrown in to provide diversity and aren’t remakes of old characters, just given a different skin colour.I mean, it might seem like all the cool super powers are gone but you can make new heros who are their own person with their own lives and use old powers in new combinations. It just doesn’t seem that hard to me. Seems like people would rather spend their time re-branding old heros instead of making up new ones.

kingofmadcows· 107 weeks ago

But they change character race/ethnicity all the time. For example, there’s Ra’s al Ghul, Talia al Ghul, Bane, the Mandarin, all the characters in the Last Airbender movie, most of the cast of the Dragonball movie, characters in the Prince of Persia movie, the main character in 30 Days of Night, Katniss Everdeen, a certain character in Star Trek, etc.And that’s not even including the whitewashing of characters in media that are based on real people of other races.

@Geekphoria1 · 107 weeks ago

Aw, man, I JUST stopped nerdraging about that certain character in Star Trek.

Handigoat · 106 weeks ago

Scotty is black. Deal with it.

Kryss LaBryn · 107 weeks ago

Maybe “comic fans” don’t seem to want diversity because no one who would be interested in that is reading because they aren’t diverse. Kind of a vicious cycle.Perhaps they only hear from a vocal minority of readers and the bulk of them are pretty much fine with the idea, but don’t say anything. Like when people kept bitching because 90’s Justice League was funny, so they made it serious again, and then people bitched about that. I remember their replies in the letters pages: “Seriously?? Where the fuck were you people telling us we were doing it right back when we were ‘doing it right’?” (*paraphrased slightly).

I mean, it’s not like they have handled women particularity well in comics, and we’re about 50% of the population.

I suspect it’s similar to how, as a Heathen, I kind of both look forward to (because I have kids) and (mostly) horribly dread the day Disney discovers Norse mythology…

Jason· 107 weeks ago

Based on the treatment of Hercules, I expect a buddy romp between Thor and Loki that teaches the value of brotherhood and family.

bix · 107 weeks ago

Well the slashfic writers would be happy…

Candace · 107 weeks ago

Heh. It looks like they might be about to do that in the next Thor movie.

emperorbailey· 97 weeks ago

Ohana means family.

@besbev · 106 weeks ago

I want to see Disney explain Sleipnir.

Kirby · 106 weeks ago

In the words of Humon’s Sweden: IT WAS A REALLY PRETTY HORSE OKAY?!

@sandchigger · 107 weeks ago

My money’s on him playing Rage from the New Warriors. He’s basically a low-budget Hulk, literally in this case as they can have a super strong and tough guy on a weekly show and not have to spend a massive amount of cash on CGI-ing up Mark Ruffalo.

2 replies · active 106 weeks ago

PackRatAttack · 107 weeks ago

Plus if he plays Rage, Whedon can have fun with the whole ‘Big – Really a kid in a hero’s body aspect’

@sandchigger · 106 weeks ago

Yep. Assuming they didn’t just make up a new superhero out of whole cloth, I’m putting my money on him playing Rage.

Didu· 107 weeks ago

I wonder if white men in tights is a superhero thing because many of the iconic characters were created such a long time ago? I don’t really know as I don’t read that many superhero comics (except Hawkguy, it’s great, bro), but Marvel’s Miles Morales and Miss America Chavez don’t exactly have +40 years of history, do they? (Feel free to inform me of their origins, super fans!)Anyhow, I think the most diverse comic I read is Chew. Then again it’s creator-owned Image insanity about food-related…powers (nothing super about some of them), without a cape in sight.

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Candace · 107 weeks ago

I think you’re almost certainly right about the time frame issue. Most of the best-known superheroes were created long enough ago that racism was, unfortunately, still very much openly a part of U.S. society. Let’s face it, segregation existed in the U.S. South until the ’60s, and in the early to mid-’60s, the American music industry still had white artists “covering” R & B tunes by black artists. Anybody remember Pat Boone?Slavery in the U.S. may have been abolished after the Civil War, but racism most definitely was not, and still plagues us to some extent today. I think when it comes to comics, though, the current issue is the difficulties inherent in bucking tradition, and the the challenges of individuals to get new ideas through all the comic book equivalent of evil Fox Executive types.

@arjayman · 107 weeks ago

Can we compromise on @DonaldGlover as Avengers!Spider-Man, and Andrew Whitebread as features!Spider-Man?

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The Unknown FB · 106 weeks ago

Hee hee…”Andrew Whitebread”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7jtpy0lfBU

Ron · 107 weeks ago

I’m a 31 year old white male and I still read comics. I actually read the new spiderman. At first it felt like a PR stunt but they managed to make him interesting enough that I actually enjoy his story now. Having a black Nick Fury in ultimates was really weird at first but now that the movies are out it is what everyone expects. I guess all I’m trying to say is that comic fans hate change at first but, if you stick with it and don’t change it back in 6 months (see every comic book death ever except uncle ben) then the fans will adapt and accept.

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Stephen · 106 weeks ago

Black Spider Man…. Uncle Ben? http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_p8YgvHrH0ZA/TCk3EWE7iPI…

Alexander Burns· 107 weeks ago

To be fair, there aren’t a ton of characters created since the late ’70s who’ve really stuck around in general. If you sit down and make a list of iconic mainstream super characters, heroes and villains both, most of them are guys who were created back in the ’60s or earlier. They’ve been periodically updated and revised and re-imagined, but Spidey is still fighting Doc Ock, Batman is still fighting Joker, etc. Every now and then you have a new character make an impression, but in general the medium is resistant to change. Not really the medium, but, I dunno. The nature of serialized storytelling? Capitalism? Take your pick.Any new writers trying to create now have to cope with that as much as they do larger social issues like racism and sexism.

DuckAmuck · 107 weeks ago

Not only are most superheroes white, most superheroes are male. There’s a great lack of diversity.I think a lot of it stems from simply the fact that the original comic creators were white males. The early female superheroes were created as eye candy and not as full-fledged heroes themselves. (how many times has Wonder Woman needed to be saved?)

Diversity can’t just be added without being hackneyed. TV has already proven that. White guys can’t believably write black guy parts or latina female parts. Has to be natural.

BTW, watching some Avengers cartoons recently. I SO BADLY want an episode (or comic, whatever) that focuses on the superheroes’ girlfriends, complaining about what a jerk he is for leaving all the time to “save the day”. I so want to see or read that.

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Bryce · 106 weeks ago

I think the problem with white guys writing black guy or latina female parts is that they then define the parts as the race and not the person. If somebody tries to write a “white guy” part it comes off as similarly hackneyed. This is actually pretty difficult to pull off well, because when we assign a race to a character we try to write the character to embody that race, which leads to the stereotypes. Of course the counter problem is that if a character *doesn’t* fit the stereotypes it’s criticized.

Chenrezi · 107 weeks ago

The only major black superhero I can think of offhand is Jon Stewart as Green Lantern. He had a pretty good run on Justice League as a main character. I was talking with my roommate the other day about how they missed a big chance when they didn’t make HIM the main character for the Green Lantern movie, but of course Hal Jordan is more “classic”…

Grady · 107 weeks ago

Sorry, but Jeffrey Bell, the show’s executive producer, said in an interview that the superhero played by J. August Richards isn’t Luke Cage.

Citizen Alan · 107 weeks ago

I’m really disappointed at the great opportunity they missed with Coulson — they should have had him show up in Thor 2! He died in combat against an Asgardian, so is entitled to join the Einerjar in Valhalla. From there, he could have followed Thor around during the plot of Thor 2 (a reversal of the fish-out-of-water story from the first movie) and then been rewarded with resurrection by Odin at the end.

@Nyx_Strange · 107 weeks ago

That’s… Actually a damn good idea, Citizen Alan. Chenrezi, my first top of my head black supers are Storm, Jon Stewart, Static Shock, Bishop, Black Panther, and I think the X-dude who just married his boyfriend was black..? And I’m certain there’s gotta be more black X-persons they could use… Didu, just read Chew myself, cool book! Really original, liked it a lot.

2 replies · active 107 weeks ago

Allen · 107 weeks ago

The boyfriend was black. Northstar isn’t.

@Nyx_Strange · 107 weeks ago

Ah, okay, I just remember the cover, haven’t read that arc. Thanks!

@JonS253 · 107 weeks ago

The only gay X-Men I know about are Northstar (who I think is on the main team these days) and Rictor (in X-Factor). Rictor’s Hispanic, for what it’s worth.I thought at first that Hoody Guy was Luke Cage. I was apparently mistaken. I guess, given the powers we saw displayed, that leaves us with Rage, or perhaps Miles Morales (since Sony still has the rights to Peter Parker tied up, that could give us *some* kind of Spider-Man in Avengers continuity…).

3 replies · active 106 weeks ago

lou · 107 weeks ago

I just watchted the trailer, and the hooded jump-out-of-the-building guy looked definitely Luke Cagey

@CX316 · 106 weeks ago

Ultimate Colossus was gay too… I think the only other one I remember from Ultimate X-Men may have been the ultimate version of Northstar… I can’t remember the issue very well other than him getting shot by Sinister.

@RHaseman · 106 weeks ago

Marvel/Disney owns the TV rights to ALL Marvel properties, Spiderman included, they just don’t own the Movie rights.

Nevest · 107 weeks ago

As a comic fan from semi-way back, perhaps you are familiar with the concept of a SHIELD Life Model Decoy (LMD)?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_Model_Decoy

hijinksensue· 107 weeks ago

Super proud of you guys for looking at this thing from every angle and posing to really valid arguments. I guess it boils down to the “superhero” is a throwback from a less evolved, less integrated time, comics fans are resistant to change, positive change on the part of the publishers almost ALWAYS comes across as a PR stunt even when it (rarely) isn’t and changes that aren’t well received lead to slow sales which leads straight back to the status quo. Comics are a weird animal.

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@CX316 · 107 weeks ago

Sadly the slow sales tend to drag down the decent stuff that isn’t just status quo, no matter who the character is. Irredeemable Ant-Man for example only made it a year, and that was an amazing series written by one of the best writers in the field.

@CX316 · 107 weeks ago

Wait, who isn’t white in DC?Marvel has, like, Power Man (Luke Cage), Falcon, Black Panther, Goliath (well till Ragnarok killed him), Sunfire, half the cast of Heroes for Hire, one of the guys from the previous team of Thunderbolts, Ultimate Spiderman, Skin, M, War Machine, Warpath, most of the recurring characters of Scarlet Spider, Nick Fury (the main universe’s Fury went Samuel L Jackson since the movie), Radioactive Man, *thinks* one of the young avengers… I think his name was Patriot… *thinks* I know I’m missing a whole bunch… then you have the ones who are green or alien. Basically any time you get an ensemble cast it becomes at least relatively diverse….

All I can think of for DC is Martian Manhunter being green, Batwing, one green lantern… um…

2 replies · active 106 weeks ago

lou · 106 weeks ago

DC has Batwing (Batman Inc.’s operative in the Congo), Static Shock, Mr. Terrific, Katana, half the cast of the current Teen titans, Batwoman (Jewish Redhead Lesbian and possibly Bruce Wayne’s cousin), Steel, Vibe, Cyborg, quite a few Earth-2 characters, Black Bat a.k.a. Cassandra Cain (Batman Inc.’s operative in Hong Kong), Ra’s al-Ghul and Talia, and I’m sure there’s a bunch of non-white humans in the Legion of Superheroes. So they’re no slouches when it comes to diversity.Also, you left out a bunch of X-Men in your list, and the black Nick Fury in the main Marvel Universe is the long lost son of the original Nick Fury. He made his debut after the Fear Itself event, along with his best friend, Phil Coulson.
Damn, it feels good to be a geek!

@CX316 · 106 weeks ago

Ah, explains how I missed the handover. I skipped out on Fear Itself after about three issues. That family has terrible luck with eyes, eh?

Wilson R · 107 weeks ago

Just some of the minorities from the current DC Heroes – Cyborg, Blue Beetle, Vibe, John Stewart, Bunker (Mexican and Gay), Batwing, Katana, Black Lightning (Although I think officially he’s just Lightning Now), Firestorm, the Engineer.I don’t think you can really say either one of the big companies is really any more or less diverse, both have been making efforts.

But more than just ‘race-washing’ a popular character to add diversity, the true success stories come from taking an established B or C list character and making them relevant and interesting. Spending time and effort on promoting minority characters is the far better path. Both Cyborg and Luke Cage are/have become far more popular and prevalent due to the effort of creators to include them in an organic way.

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@CX316 · 107 weeks ago

Luke Cage may have gained popularity in his Avengers story lines, but sadly he was the lead of one of the worst runs of Thunderbolts in some time… y’know, other than the incredibly horrific new Thunderbolts series that makes me want to gouge out my eyes.

@DenaghDesign · 107 weeks ago

I’d like to think he’s playing Gunn, years after taking out Wolfram & Hart.

Bryce · 106 weeks ago

It’s a long shot, but I’d like to see a stab at making him a new superhero that doesn’t feel like a bargain bin rip-off of some other superhero. Difficult since there’s a bajillion old ones.

Valerie · 106 weeks ago

I’m kind of hoping he’s playing Eli Bradley (Patriot) from the Young Avengers

Noah · 106 weeks ago

They’ve said that Richards is playing a wholely original character.

emperorbailey· 97 weeks ago

Hahaha! I just watched this video about “black cosplay.” Anyone who just read these comments should watch it. It’s enlightening. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBa9AlDJDMY

Planet Earth Is Blue And There’s Nothing I Can Do

Recording a music video of Bowie’s “Space Oddity” IN OUTER MOTHER FUCKING SPACE is mankind’s most baller achievement. Hats off… rather space helmets off to you, Commander Hadfield. Though I do fear his actions will usher in the coming Anime Apocalypse by creating the universe’s first actual outer space pop star. Alls I’m saying is when a cyborg cat-girl from the future and a plucky robot sidekick with plasma cannons for arms start doing backup vocals for the good Commander, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

COMMETNERS: What song would you have to sing at what location/time/historical event to approach the epicness of Commander Hadfield’s performance?

Comments (15)

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Craig · 109 weeks ago

“Time Warp” in the TARDIS while facing Daleks.

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3 replies · active 109 weeks ago

Nathan · 109 weeks ago

Did not read that as “facing” the first time. Not sure where my brain pulled a “k” from, either.

Twould be epic, though.

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Ali · 109 weeks ago

It’s the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane.

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lou · 109 weeks ago

I would think the Doctor’s favorite Bowie song would be “Changes”.

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Lori · 109 weeks ago

I was reluctant to watch the video when I first saw it, because it sounded so gimmicky. But honestly, it was very affecting. And to me, the most important part was that he could really sing! As Josh points out, he’s no David Bowie, but he does manage not to completely pale in comparison, which I consider quite an achievement.

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Derek · 109 weeks ago

GO CANADA!!!

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Jeff A · 109 weeks ago

I thought Jeff Bridges was the Star Man

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2 replies · active 109 weeks ago

Liz · 109 weeks ago

That’s just, like, your opinion, man.

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Candace · 109 weeks ago

No, Jeff Bridges is The Dude.

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carl · 109 weeks ago

If there is ever a manned mission to Mars, its theme song will naturally have to be Hagar’s “Marching to Mars.”

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1 reply · active 109 weeks ago

Mitch H. · 109 weeks ago

Not “Life on Mars”?

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Ali · 109 weeks ago

Did you see the duet with Ed from Barenaked Ladies? “ISS (Is Someone Singing).” That one made me tear up a little.

Fun fact: When I was little, I confused Dave Bowman from “2001: A Space Odyssey” with David Bowie because their names are similar and also all the stuff about space and stars.

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deadrobot· 109 weeks ago

I’d give my left nut to see C3P0 sing Domo Arigato Mr Roboto in front of a WalMart.

And then say “I’ve wasted my left nut!”

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@ShayneF · 109 weeks ago

Solar death explosion. Always look on the bright side of life.

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lou · 109 weeks ago

That guy’s song is great! It even got David Bowie’s approval on Twitter! And since it’s Bowie related, expect it to be a punch line in a joke on The Venture Brothers any day now.

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The Darkest Timeline, Indeed

Don’t forget about submitting your entry to the HijiNKS Ensue 6 Year Anniversary Fancy Bastard Fancy Fan Art Contest. Submissions are due this Friday. THERE ARE PRIZES! Details HERE.

Phoenix Comicon is in 2 weeks (May 23-26)! I will be there with David Willis at Booth 1749. Would you like to be our intern for the weekend? We can offer a con badge that will get you in, probably some lunch and in return you’ll get to work at our booth, getting shirts, making change, etc. We’ll make sure you get time to check out the show as well. Email comics at hijinksensue dot com.

The only comfort I took during the final 30 minutes of this season of NBC’s Community is that it was likely THE ACTUAL FINAL 30 MINUTES AS IN FOREVER. With creator Dan Harmon gone the spirit of the show has progressively tanked all season. The characters have become parodies of themselves, which is no small achievement considering that USED to be part of the fun of their dynamic. When handled with subtlety and smarts, self-parody can be the foundation of some very endearing moments. With this season, Community has replaced subtlety and smarts with a sledgehammer and a pie in the face. It reads like bad fan-fiction. At it’s core (considering the driving creative force behind its inception is long gone) it IS bad fan-fiction.

My friend, and Leverage co-creator, Jon Rogers said to me, “…You wanted #community so now you’re going to EAT EVERY BIT OF IT. Monkey’s Paw, #community fans. Goddam monkey’s paw.” He’s right. Community fans made a deal with the TV Devil, and he’s a dirty dealer. They traded Community’s soul so that it could have a longer life. But is it really Community? Is it even alive? ZOMBIE TV SHOW ATE MY BRAINS! Coming this fall to NBC.

The only thing incorrect about Rogers’ statement is I (ME, the actual ME) did NOT want Community without Dan Harmon, just like I didn’t want a final, bizarro season of Scrubs, just like I didn’t want and continue to not want more seasons of The Simpsons or Futurama. Do like Jerry did. Leave on a high note and leave ’em wanting more.

[Thanks to Mikey and an actual Yaoi I saw at SDCC for inspiring today’s alt-text.]

COMMENTERS: Which show or fiction series (books? do they make… books?) do you wish had been cancelled before it was and why?

Comments (45)

Cozworth · 107 weeks ago

remember how everyone was on about 6 seasons and a movie?

I’m pretty sure it’s worked like a monkey’s paw. We’ll get our 6 seasons and a movie and in the end it’ll be like watching a car crash in slow motion, we all know it’ll be horrible, but we just can’t look away.

@sandchigger · 107 weeks ago

I kinda wish the fifth season of Babylon 5 either never happened or happened as originally written, rather than having the fourth and fifth seasons smooshed together into one season and then being surprise renewed for a fifth season after the story was finished.

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2 replies · active 107 weeks ago

Kryss LaBryn · 107 weeks ago

Came here to say that.

When it looked like it wasn’t going to be renewed, JMS got the major plot points wrapped up for the end of the fourth season, not wanting to leave fans hanging if there wasn’t a fifth. And I’m not suuure if the problem was that there was a fifth season after the pre-existing threads were more or less tied up, since he’d basically ditched the teep war thread in order to be able to fit it all in, so it’s not like he just pulled something out of his ass. I think it’s more that the fifth season was, well, kind of awful. It has some great Bester moments, but Jesus, Byron. Pun kinda sorta maybe intended. It just wasn’t the B5 we’d had for the first four seasons, and while it was still probably better than most other shows on TV at the time, it was still… yeah.

I can happily ignore season five in its entirety. Didn’t bother getting it on DVD. And frankly, “Sleeping in Light” at the end of season 4 is my favourite episode ever, I think. It is a really well-done finale to the series, and I just don’t think there was a NEED for more B5 after that. In the context of the series. Which was about the Shadow War, and stuff. More B5 *stuff* would definitely be cool. I’m still pissed about Crusade, and how long ago was that? Gods damn you, Time-Warner. Gods damn you.

Jason· 107 weeks ago

Isn’t “Sleeping in Light” on the Season 5 DVDs, though? I know it was filmed at the end of Season 4, but it wasn’t broadcast until Season 5.

I honestly didn’t think Season 5 was that bad. It just… wasn’t that good, either, I suppose. I liked the ideas, and seeing some of those plot threads resolved was kind of nice. I think it was–almost literally–anticlimactic. Or perhaps post-climactic. Anyway, I didn’t dislike it, but I can skip it on a rewatch without any guilt, too.

Besides, it wasn’t nearly as bad as Legend of the Rangers. Does B5 fan orthodoxy even consider that canon? I know I don’t.

Mike Konecny · 107 weeks ago

As I watched season 4, it felt as though my heart was being ripped out of my chest. With the finale I felt a sigh of relief as if I could finally come to term with the death of a loved one. With the announcement of season 5, I realized I will have to go through that horror again. This is the darkest timeline!

tudza · 107 weeks ago

One swell poop?

UnitedShoes37 · 107 weeks ago

Geez. Why is so much of this season’s TV making me feel like Butters in “The China Probrem”? Y’know, “I don’t know, I thought it was pretty good.”

I mean, I had my doubts about Community without Dan Harmon (and I still say the whole, Harmonless season should’ve been set in the Darkest Timeline), and I was as confused as anybody during “Journey to the Center of the TARDIS”, but I don’t feel like whoever took over Community this season or Steven Moffat have been raping our good friends Abed and the Doctor. They’ve just stumbled a bit. There were some genuinely enjoyable moments in this short season of Community, and they got Neil Gaiman to come back and write another spectacular Whopisode, not to mention Diana Rigg managing to be even more snarky and almost as delightful as she is as one of the greatest C-characters in all of A Song of Ice and Fire.

Is all the hyperbole really necessary? Hell, maybe, just maybe, if we show Community the same love we all showed it when we thought it was going to get murdered, the current showrunners will find their footing a bit more, and we all know Doctor Who isn’t going anywhere, even if Clara’s plot goes even more batshit than “The Overly Compressed Narrative of River Song” (a.k.a. “Let’s KIll Hitler!”)

1 reply · active 107 weeks ago

tomspeelman· 107 weeks ago

See, THATS why I kept watching…because it’s still a lot of fun despite the stumbles. Next year, Community will finds its footing and things will be great.

Riff · 107 weeks ago

It’s been so depressing watching season 4. Community used to always be the last show I watched on a Friday night, but now I’ll watch it first to get it out of the way, if I even bother to watch it at all.

One of the worst things about it is all the fans who say “It’s still good! It’s still good!” like Homer chasing the pig down the river. I’m going to stab the next person who says, “I guess I just like liking things,” in reference to the show.

Legendary Teeth · 107 weeks ago

As someone part way through the third season of Community, my question is: where do I stop? I am happy for the show to go out on a high note in my own mind.

1 reply · active 107 weeks ago

@borednihilist · 107 weeks ago

My first exposure to Community was season 3 as it aired. I loved it. When I heard there was a season 4, I was skeptical, when I heard it was without Harmon I was furious. I watched season 4 until “Alternative History of the German Invasion” and that didn’t make me laugh a single time. So I quit, and consider the season 3 finale the series finale (I think it’s quite good as that, and Harmon did intend it to be able to function as one). Recently I finally was able to watch seasons one and two of Community and obviously it only made me love the show more. Hopefully I’ll be able to purchase the first three seasons soon, and watch them all again.

Tom327Cat · 107 weeks ago

Oh My Gosh Yes! Firefly! By “Heart of gold” the series was really beginning to show it’s age and feel tired. When I saw “Objects in Space” I knew It had jumped shark hard. Thank goodness Joss was smart enough to not try and push a TV special to wrap up loose ends.

2 replies · active 107 weeks ago

Stephen · 107 weeks ago

You have angered the gods. Beware… they are coming for you.

@lzyglutenfremom · 107 weeks ago

he’s doing that on purpose.. he wanted to see if the internets would implode…

Khel · 107 weeks ago

I firmly believe that Scrubs ended at season 8 and this fabled 9th season people talk about were just the fever dream of an emotionally disturbed sociopath

w00hoo · 107 weeks ago

I played BtVS rpg with someone who’d only watched to the end of Season 5. That was a good enough line to draw beneath it for him. Because the rest of us had seen all 7 he finally caved and watched the last two. He wished that he hadn’t.

While I love Supernatural, I’m only watching it because it’s there. I’d have been comfortable with them finishing when they said they would…

1 reply · active 106 weeks ago

The Unknown FB · 106 weeks ago

For me, the way they ended Angel at Season 5 by being yank-cancelled in favor of more fraggin’ *Charmed* really ticked me off, and to this day I really don’t care to watch 90% of the Big 4 broadcast’s shows.
The ending to the season/series mostly wrapped things up and left a good set up for the comic series, but still felt rushed at the end, and bummed me out.

Unrepentantfangirl · 107 weeks ago

For books Alex Rider. After book five they should have just said no. Oh god. Please no.

Wesley · 107 weeks ago

Mostly every sitcom right now.. 2 and a half men, the big bang theory, how I met your mother.. I stopped watching all of them.

It annoys the crap out of me when series that used to be based on humor eventually start relying on vicarious shame and call it comedy.

Didu· 107 weeks ago

Chuck, anyone? They were sorta prepared for the axe, the season 2 finale could have been a… well, not maybe a perfect ending, but an ending nevertheless. The show got renewed but I can’t compare its actual ending to s2 because at some point I lost interest or something. It was fun to watch but nothing to obsess over, maybe I’ll watch the rest if I have nothing else to do.

As for Community, a friend promised to have an introductory season 1 marathon with me if I swore to never watch season 4, nor acknowledge its existence.

1 reply · active 107 weeks ago

Mitch H. · 107 weeks ago

Yeah, same here. Third season just kept getting worse and worse until I never even finished the last two or three episodes. As artificial as it was, the Masquerade was necessary to keep the show inflated. Once they started letting the non-spies know what was going on, they lost the balance of the show.

Kryss LaBryn · 107 weeks ago

This is going way, way, way back in time, but remember the old “Beauty & the Beast” TV show on CBS at the end of the Eighties? Yeah, they could have ended that one about two-thirds of the way through the second season. The third season was completely unnecessary and completely changed the tone of the series, to make it more attractive to the 18-24-year-old male demographic, when a large part of its appeal was that it was one of the few shows at the time that were NOT already aimed there. It was a bit like if, for the new season of, say, “Once Upon A Time,” they decided to cross it with “The Unit”. Not that “The Unit” wasn’t a great show, but it’s not what “Once Upon A Time” is about. It was a pretty big slap in the face to people who actually liked what they were already doing with it.

–Shut up. I was seventeen, okay?

Bill Murphy · 107 weeks ago

Roseanne.
I loved that show. A comedy about a financially struggling family. In the final season (8 or 9) they won the lottery of 100 million dollars. They continued to live in their three bedroom house and fix it up a bit.
When I think of that show, all I remember was that last awful season.

Cherie · 107 weeks ago

For books: I would say any Piers Anthony Series that went more than 3 books. If he starts a world with the idea that he is only going to write a specific number they tend to be good all the way through (Blue Adept), but if it is more open ended, he takes a major nose dive after the 3rd book (Xanth, Incarnations of Immortality)

@borednihilist · 107 weeks ago

I’m behind on both Leverage and Burn Notice, but I feel like they probably didn’t need to last as long as they have, even though I quite enjoy them. I’m glad Dexter is ending soon, but I don’t dislike the Julia Stiles season as most seem to. As for the BSG finale, I think I’m one of the few who liked it!

3 replies · active 107 weeks ago

Joe A· 107 weeks ago

I liked the BSG finale too! I often feel like that may have been because I hadn’t watched it as it aired, but all at once (or rather compressed over a few weeks) after the series was done. It probably lessened the potential disappointment because I had no time to speculate on where things were going, and ultimately disappointed that it didn’t line up with my expectations.

@borednihilist · 107 weeks ago

That’s a really insightful thought; I watched the show the same way. I watch most shows that way, actually, because there’s no way to keep up with everything I’m interested in! And anyway, I didn’t even know about BSG while it aired. I surely didn’t speculate a whole lot either because I was just always engaged in what was happening. I could never watch just one episode of BSG at a time!

@AlyredTheEvil · 107 weeks ago

Leverage stumbled a bit during some episodes of seasons 4 and 5, but overall had some really good episodes those last few seasons. The series finale, though, was excellent. Quite a rough ride but worth it in the end. I wish more shows ended so well.

Joe A· 107 weeks ago

LOST. As much as that show was based on the mysteries and the questions it posed, I would have rather it got cancelled before the sixth season could air. I’d rather have dealt with the nagging questions about what it all meant than had almost everything explained poorly.

1 reply · active 107 weeks ago

agarda· 107 weeks ago

something was explained?

Bruceski · 107 weeks ago

Babylon 5 is one of the famous shows affected by cancellation threats. It had been planned for five seasons, but was going to be cancelled after the 4th so they condensed all the plot resolution into that season. Fans loved the plot-dense pace, and it got renewed for a 5th, leaving Straczynski to scramble for things he could do with a story that was done.

1 reply · active 107 weeks ago

Bryce · 107 weeks ago

And of course when I typed this it wasn’t showing any other comments, for some reason.

Jason· 107 weeks ago

For books, I’d have to go with the Ender series. It should have stopped when the original series stopped (i.e., Ender’s Game, Speaker for the Dead, Xenocide, Children of the Mind). Going back and filling in every nook and cranny of that universe really just detracted from what made the originals so appealing. I think the Bean books especially detracted from the character of Ender (“Ender is a super genius and that’s why he’s the hero BUT WAIT BEAN WAS REALLY A BIGGER GENIUS ALL ALONG.”)

Of course, in the end, the author retroactively ruined my enjoyment of those books much more than all the other works in the series, so… *shrug*

2 replies · active 97 weeks ago

njmckay· 107 weeks ago

I so agree!! And he keeps coming out with more filler for the Ender’s universe. The original series was enough, and I too think that making Bean more of a genius than Ender sort of stabbed his character in the back.

That being said…. MOVIE!

emperorbailey· 97 weeks ago

I loved the “Shadow” books.
They were a completely different feel, with the international sociopolitical maneuvering instead of family problems or whatever “Speaker of the Dead” was about. The villain was really terrifying, and seeing Peter’s change from a kind of scary kid into a decent leader was also fascinating.

DuckAmuck · 107 weeks ago

Personally I think the whole season of Community would have played better in its ACTUAL timeline – not this weird “every winter holiday in early spring” bullshit.
NBC is more at fault than anyone related to this season of Community.
Next year, watch the episodes at their correct times of year, and everything will be more easily understood.

Liam · 107 weeks ago

X-Files. Those last few years without David Duchovny and with Robert Patrick and that other woman was just unbearable.

WorldMaker · 107 weeks ago

Teeth, the Season 3 finale was Dan Harmon’s attempt to leave on a high note. There are some mixed opinions of it, but it means well and nearly, very nearly, ties a bow around S1-S3.

Anyone else notice a chalkboard in the S4 finale taunting us with the “Six Seasons and a Movie”?

That said, I actually somewhat liked the S4 finale. It WAS an attempt at a paintball finale (albeit without committing to anything like the old wanton damage of show sets). It hit a lot of the right notes and nearly proved the new writers room have almost gotten it. Biggest complaint was the cop out “it was all a dream”, because S1-S3 spent so much time subverting that. I think if they had owned that choice, and pushed for the crazy Sci-Fi consequences we all might actually be somewhat looking forward to an S5 that could be the closest thing to a half-hour comedy Fringe we might ever see…

Tara · 107 weeks ago

NCIS. I stopped watching after season 8 because even then I could hear it’s death rattle, and keeping it going now is just a cruel kick to the groin of what it used to be. I don’t understand why consistently the worst shows on TV keep getting the highest ratings, like Two and Half Men and How I Met Your Mother. I guess people watch them out of habit, like they’re tricking themselves into thinking it’s still worth their time.

1 reply · active 106 weeks ago

Gregory · 106 weeks ago

Respectfully disagree, it’s had some rough patches, but this past season with Ziva and DIrector Vance on the warpath has been pretty awesome and the finale was great. I’m actually shocked it’s been able to avoid getting stale. Just my two cents.

tomspeelman· 107 weeks ago

Maximum Ride…after James Patterson made the kids anti global warming vessels for no reason at the end of Book 3, along with the Stupid ending of that book, I gave up. Those are the only Patterson books I’ve ever read and it’ll probably stay that way.

Kryss LaBryn · 107 weeks ago

This is going way, way, way back in time, but remember the old “Beauty & the Beast” TV show on CBS at the end of the Eighties? Yeah, they could have ended that one about two-thirds of the way through the second season. The third season was completely unnecessary and completely changed the tone of the series, to make it more attractive to the 18-24-year-old male demographic, when a large part of its appeal was that it was one of the few shows at the time that were NOT already aimed there. It was a bit like if, for the new season of, say, “Once Upon A Time,” they decided to cross it with “The Unit”. Not that “The Unit” wasn’t a great show, but it’s not what “Once Upon A Time” is about. It was a pretty big slap in the face to people who actually liked what they were already doing with it.

The Unknown FB · 106 weeks ago

I’m thinking about “Enterprise”, not necessarily charitably, but how it got cancelled in a very cruddy way in Season 4, after starting to get good.
IMO, the showrunners needed a kick in their aft warp coils about 1.5 seasons earlier to get on the stick and write some good character-driven stories.
The way that series was handled and ended basically killed off TV versions of Trek to this day, sadly.

Alyson · 106 weeks ago

I realized it was horrible when Abed wore a Doctor Who shirt. That shit wrinkled my brain.

emperorbailey· 97 weeks ago

Joel: I just shotgunned Simpsons Season 24, and its getting better. They write stories with real character development, and take bigger chances, instead of like “this is what Homer would do in Brazil.” Better gags, more realistic characters. More rewarding all around.
Also, I think from Season 23, the episode called “The Book Job” was as funny as any Season 8 episode.

Coming Of Age

The World Wide Web is 20! They grow up so fast. Seems like only yesterday he was sticking erotic playing cards in the spokes of his bike and now he’s graduating boner pill college and marrying a sexy sorority slut in your home town who’s waiting for you.

NEWS FROM THE FUTURE! [Posted 5/9/13]

Here are things you should know about:

You can now read HijiNKS ENSUE (and a crap load of other fine comics) on the Official iOS app of webcomics, Comics Chameleon. It’s free and has a pretty slick interface and it supports the creators of the comics it displays (unlike EVERY OTHER webcomic app in the app store).
Phoenix Comicon is in 2 weeks (May 23-26)! I will be there with David Willis at Booth 1749.
Speaking of David, he is kickstarting his new Dumbing Of Age book, for which I wrote the foreword. It’s already funded, but you should back the hell out it anyway.
Hopefully tomorrow I’ll have an announcement regarding my involvement with the Cyanide and Happiness Show.
LAST THING! HijiNKS ENSUE turns 6 on Saturday (May 11). If you have an idea for a piece of HE related fan art (using any medium), I will announce a Fancy Bastard Fancy Fan Art Contest on Friday. The winner (chosen by me) will get prizes! Get to arting!

COMMENTERS: What was your very first experience with The Internet (I know the WWW isn’t exactly THE INTERNET, but hey… whatever)? What type of machine was it on? When did you first use the Internet/WWW and realize that it was going to change basically everything about how society operates?

Comments (35)

hijinksensue· 108 weeks ago

My first Interneting was most likely using AIM at a friend’s house during the summer between 8th and 9th grade. That was the first time I knew a kid with a dial up modem. I never had Internet access at my own house until I moved out on my own when I was 18. Even then, Im pretty sure I was borrowing a dial up connection that my buddy got free with his college tuition for at least 2-3 more years. My first email address was a hotmail (pre Microsoft) account created at the behest of my 10th grade photography teacher. He insisted that we all have email to get assignments then never once sent us anything electronically. I remember there being a 3 or 4 page form you have to fill out to get an email address. It seemed super official, like the IRS was involved.

1 reply · active 107 weeks ago

@besbev · 107 weeks ago

I still use my hotmail address from the mid-90s…

Conrado · 108 weeks ago

Long time ago, maybe in 1992, I found out about this “Bitnet” thing in college (damn! I was in college in 92′! I suddenly feel old…) Next year the computer lab had several IBM Unix worksations running this “X-Windows” and there was that program… “Mosaic”… and there was this thing, the World Wide Web… and there was Lycos, and NSCA, and Yahoo Directory (actually a physical book!), and a lot of sites devoted to Doom WAD’s, and FTP, and Gopher… damn! I’m old! :p And I got my first email address… And then I became a geek…
Damn kids! Get off my web server!!
😀

1 reply · active 108 weeks ago

Carlos · 108 weeks ago

Holy cow! I started with Bitnet too. Only I was in high school at the time, which shared the computer lab with the adjacent college. Pretty soon I was all UNIX-y and started FTPing images off of the nasa.gov servers one of my high school assignments. Blew the pants off my teachers and fellow students who didn’t know you could do that. Emailing with pine followed. After that I got a chance to handle some NeXT workstations where I first started using graphical e-mail and some of the Mosaic goodness. The road to geekdom…

Lynne · 108 weeks ago

My family got our first computer in 98 (when I was about to turn 8). We had a dial up modem, and I remember it being a really big deal whenever my mom would let me get on AOL for 30 minutes on Saturday mornings to play hangman. Sometimes she was expecting a call, though, in which case I had to wait until she was done with that.

samldanach· 108 weeks ago

I’m in pretty much the same boat as Conrado. I got on the college network (a VAX system) in 1990, which had an internal forum. It was either 91 or 92 when I ventured out into the wider Bitnet world (we thought those “internet” people were in a ghetto, because they didn’t have utilities like “finger”). I got on a bunch of email lists.Then, in late 92, I discovered Usenet. If you young’uns don’t know what Usenet is, go search Google Groups. Go WAY back in the archives. That’s Usenet. Fortunately, I graduated and got out of Usenet just before the Eternal September.

I was off the internet for a bit, until I went to work at an ISP in late 94. That was my first experience with the three Ws. I also learned about MUDs and shit. It’s been all downhill ever since.

Paul Turnbull · 108 weeks ago

Earliest Internet was probably Newsgroups being imported into one of the dial-up BBS’s I frequented in the late 80s. First WWW use would be 1992 or 3 using Lynx on my university’s VAX system.And now I’m startled to realize I’ve been using the web for its entire existence. Yikes!

1 reply · active 108 weeks ago

@BigNed · 108 weeks ago

That sounds pretty close to my experience. Started BBSing in the late 80’s/very early 90’s then got an e-mail address through my college (Virginia Tech was one of the first to have in-dorm Ethernet across campus) in ’92. I stayed away from the MUD’s but ended up selling a bunch of rare Magic cards over ftp my sophomore year. Then Netscape came out and BOOM.

HikingViking · 108 weeks ago

I was a late adaptor to the interwebs, in the same way that I’m typically a late adaptor to just about everything. I started “using” in the mid 90s, but really it was more for e-mail than anything else. I had a Yahoo account, because even at that time AOL accounts were kind of sad. Actually, to this day, some of my only online snobbery comes into play when I see someone with an AOL e-mail. I’m kind of waiting for the cool kids to start getting AOL addresses as an ironic thing. And no, I didn’t have any clue at how much the WWW would change the world. Or computers for that matter. I thought it was all just another toy – a novelty that would die down. How incredibly wrong I was, and how glad I am that I was wrong.

TheKingleMingle· 108 weeks ago

I was ten. My school library had installed two computers with THE INTERNET which we were supposed to use to help with library things. Of course a bunch of ten years olds in those days had no idea how to use the internet to get information so we just fought over who got to use it to play Neopets which had only just launched.For some reason we all thought that pressing down the F5 key would make the internet work faster.

Bryan · 108 weeks ago

Getting onto Prodigy and then having absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do. It was on an old IBM 486DX machine. This would have been around 1995? Really got into it once my 50 free hours of AOL kicked in! WOO!!!

hoboken nomo · 108 weeks ago

my first memory was back when ever the AOL first came out…my old man made that whole buddy list thingie there. you know that messaging system that has evolved into every sites chat program…… i was like 9 or 10

deadrobot· 108 weeks ago

Josh would be proud: my first chat room hook up. Brown chicken brown cow!!Side note: I so wanted those Oakleys back in the day. Thankfully I resisted.

@GeekyGarlicGirl · 108 weeks ago

I was a web nerd starting in 1997ish. It’s embarrassing to admit but I was obsessed with Hanson/Nsync chat rooms and AIMed with other fans. I made some great friends though, some I even got to meet while on vacation. It was a time before it really had sunk in to people’s brains that meeting strangers offline as a 13 year old alone wasn’t an acceptable thing to do. Lucky for me everyone I met was awesome, no pervs!

Ali · 108 weeks ago

I was in elementary school. We had “computer class” and I think about third or fourth grade, the teacher taught us how to use Netscape Navigator and AskJeeves. There were weird things about “gopher” and whatever the other one was that wasn’t http, that I don’t remember at all, and have NEVER needed to know since, except once recently I accidentally (I don’t even remember how) typed “gopher” in my address bar and pressed enter, and my browser added a :// to it and then got confused.My parents were fairly well-off by the time having internet in your home was a thing; we already had two phone lines, plus a third line for faxes, so they got a fourth line just for the dial-up modem, and we never had to deal with the whole “get off the computer, I have to use the phone!” deal that I see people my age reminiscing about. I quite enjoyed the modem handshaking sound and was kind of disappointed when we got cable.

1 reply · active 108 weeks ago

Ceri · 108 weeks ago

Netscape Navigator – wow, that takes me back! That was the first browser I ever used. It must have been late 1997, when I was in England at my mom’s for a few months after graduating High School. I can’t remember what I used The Net for back then, because I’m sure I didn’t have an e-mail account until I started university in 1999 (just in time for the Y2K panic!). I do remember my first visit to the crappy computer labs at my Uni – you had to queue for ages, and the computers were so. damn. slow. I remember searching in vain for the Netscape icon on their desktop, because that was all I knew. Then I just clicked the one thing that had “Internet” in the title – yes, the dread IE – and made myself a hotmail account. The Uni mail system ran on an antiquated version of Pegasus – black 8-bit letters on white, keyboard use only. Ahh, simpler times…

voxboxcomics· 108 weeks ago

Oh Internet. Your a good kid sometimes.

geekbear · 108 weeks ago

CompuServe 1982. Atari 800XL .
AOL in Geoworks Ensemble in 89.

Faye · 108 weeks ago

I don’t have an impressive story, I didn’t even get online until 1999-2000, but it does come full circle.I remember getting an hour a day on the family computer when I was growing up, and choosing to spend it on the ol’ dial up modem, playing about on MUSHes. (The same game is now deserted at the times I used to log on, thankfully I’m no longer limited to ‘an hour a day after school’.)

When I was 16, and had money of my own, I bought my very own computer, with my own dial up internet – and a much faster 56k modem! Zoom! However, it could not maintain a connection for more than 5 hours at a time. I never actually used the phone that came with the line, I only wanted the internet.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Earlier this year, I got my own ADSL2+ line set up, using the very same additional phone line I had to have installed when I got dial-up. I still mainly use it to MUSH. (Yes, people still play on those.)

There are some differences: I do a lot of other things at the same time now, like read comics. (I have a dual monitor setup, typically browser or games on one, MUSH on the other.) And I have ‘Naked’ ADSL2+, which means no phone.

Nephaline · 108 weeks ago

My boyfriend was studying programming in another province, back in 97, the university had a T1 gateway. Since long distance was so expensive, my parents gave me their old computer and I paid into a BBS (Billboard System) email gateway over a dial up modem, so we could communicate.
After asking for additional donations so they could upgrade, this BBS group that had been going for many years collapsed. I assume this was because the cost for individual dial up was becoming more affordable, and people were no longer interested in the BBS system. Spending & donating that money and only get a few months of the BBS made me so mad!Did not have internet until late 1999-2000 after the boyfriend got a job and his office had a line I could dial into at night, used it for free for several years.

My family bought the Bally Computer System instead of an Atari, and you could follow the booklet provided and program games on it.: http://www.glankonian.com/~lance/History.html
Back in 83 my junior high had a computer programming class, where we “learned to program” (ha! right!) on Commodore Vic 20’s. We learned a bit of basic and were supposed to make our own games, but those stupid tapes were usually faulty.

bionelly · 108 weeks ago

Not really using it myself, but the first time I remember being made aware of the internet was in my middle school computer class. It wasn’t part of the curriculum at that point, but the teacher demonstrated sending an email to us, then said, “By the time you’re adults, you won’t be able to get a job without being able to use this, and the kids who are in kindergarten now will be better at it than you. Good luck.”

@Matausz · 108 weeks ago

I remember it being 95-96ish in the winter and I looked up the Sega website, the FBI website, and boobs, in that order. I was about 10 and well, yeah.

saglik · 108 weeks ago

Fisrt thing I did in internet was joining IRC; it was a chat room in DALNET i remember. And it took some time for people in the chatroom to convince me that they were not bots talking. I didnt give any chance for them to be real. The operator in the room was named Scott and at that time he was like a father to me 🙂

Mitch H. · 108 weeks ago

The Web was just a novelty in 1993, the Internet was still Usenet, email, IRC, FTP, MUDs and MUSHs and so forth. At the time, the response was often “well, it’s like a GUI for Gopher, right?”The real Internet disruption of 1993 was The September That Never Ended, when the commercial internet outfits invaded the previously-mostly-academic Usenet and associated environs in the fall of 1993. Previous Septembers had been periods of barbarian invasion on Usenet as the freshmen discovered their new university accounts and were painfully socialized and civilized. In the fall of 1993, the expected invasion proved to not just be the usual passing disaster,, but was instead a never-ending flood of digital Vandals, and the somewhat insular, hippie-libertarian culture of “the Net” never really regained its bearings.

Brian · 108 weeks ago

A dead crab, she said, she said?My family didn’t have much money, so we still didn’t have a computer. My first internet experience, therefore, was WebTV. I mostly used it for associating on a Tolkien fan board. I met my wife there. I didn’t know it was going to be the big thing, but it was pretty big for me at the time.

Ceri · 107 weeks ago

I’m looking forward to the inevitable cosplay versions of World Wide Web you will meet at conventions from now on, Joel.
(Pics or it didn’t happen.)

@autojim · 107 weeks ago

It was a HUGE deal when GEnie (which I joined in February of 1993) got INTERNET EMAIL ACCESS later in 1993. It was still text-based stuff (and the awful Lynx text-based web browser), but at least I could send/receive mail from friends not-on-GEnie.BTW, nice use of Oakley Over-The-Top sunglasses, Joel. 😀

Mahnarch · 107 weeks ago

I remember my first foray into the WWW… Computer class (94?)
My teacher and I couldn’t figure, for the longest time, why the internets HATED me!No matter what computer I went onto I couldn’t get a single site to come up. I’d switch computers with another student. They’d work “mine” perfectly, and their old computer suddenly stopped working for me…

Turns out; It’s not http://www,(comma)[websight],(comma)com…
It took us over a month to figure this out.

missmushu · 107 weeks ago

In the mid-80’s, we had a frankensteined Apple IIe that my dad cobbled together from spare components he found in the industrial engineering lab at the university where he worked. When he took me to work with him on the weeekends, I would use the dial-up connection to send messages to my sister at home. And when I say dial-up I mean I took the phone receiver off the hook and put it in a cradle and manually rotory-dialled the number. It was like a prehistoric live chat. Good god, I’m old.

Joseph · 107 weeks ago

I went from BBS’s to Prodigy, and then to AOL.

Bryce · 107 weeks ago

The first internet I remember is Hunt the Wumpus. I hunted that Wumpus so hard…

Shayne · 107 weeks ago

1985/86. Commodore Amiga 1000. I was 12/13. Mostly local Bulletin Boards (BBS). I remember when Tetris landed. I happened to be learning russian at the time. This helped greatly since the executable/installation had not been translated yet. I got it installed and my older sister monolopized the computer from then on.

StoneMaven · 107 weeks ago

Oooooh, the dark ages when I’d just gotten out of college and gotten married. My sister had something miraculous called AOL at her home in Denton, and we played trivia games in the chat. Then my husband signed up for the beta-test of our local phone company. We were livin’ the high life with Pegasus Mail program and downloading crap and ignoring WAREZ spam posts off the usenet. Those were the days.

Tim Baker · 107 weeks ago

Well I’m old skool…first Internet was pre-WWW using Gopher to hack out of University to grt into UglyMUG and other multiuser games. Rainbow also, and Aminet.I’d been using the Internet a few years until the browser came along (a few years late) but there wasn’t much to see in 1995. I was more about usergroups!

Gordon · 106 weeks ago

All about the bbs on my Commodore 64, dog!

Everybody Wants Prosthetic Foreheads On Their Real Heads

I am very bad at seeing movies right when they come out. As my parenting has gotten stronger, my ability to drop everything at a moment’s notice and go to a 1am showing of a movie where nerds are likely to be dressed up in cloaks and brandishing lazer swords has severely diminished. I am also bad at seeing a headline like “DO NOT READ THIS ARTICLE BECAUSE IT SPOILS THE ENTIRE MOVIE YOU REALLY WANT TO GO SEE IF YOU CAN FIND A BABY SITTER IN A FEW WEEKS!!!” and not reading it immediately. I am my nerd enjoyment’s own worst enemy.

COMMENTERS: What’s the greatest length you’ve ever gone to in order to remain unspoiled? Given up the Internet? Severed friendships? GIVEN UP THE INTERET?!?! THE ACTUAL INTERNET?!?!?

Comments (39)

Yusaku777 · 108 weeks ago

I actually made it through all three Star Wars prequels without ever seeing the trailers. I avoided everything possible, even the toys. And this was while I was working at Target. That was hard to do.

The biggest spoiler I got before one of the three movies? That Obi-wan grew a beard before the second movie. (Couldn’t avoid the graphics on the toy aisle end caps.)

5 replies · active 107 weeks ago

InkBlot· 108 weeks ago

A buddy of mine bought the soundtrack for Episode 1 that came out something like 2 weeks before the film, and one of the tracks was called “The Death of Qui-Gon Jinn.” He said he’d never been angrier in his life (all 12 years of it).

Reply

hijinksensue· 108 weeks ago

That. Is. Fucking. Bullshit.

InkBlot· 108 weeks ago

They did it on the Serenity Soundtrack too. Track 10 is called “Shepherd Book’s Last Words.” Of course by 2005, no one bought soundtracks anymore.

MrSueDenim· 108 weeks ago

I was in uni during the prequels. Two months before Clones came out, a guy in class did a presentation and his background music was the unreleased (at that point) soundtrack. To make matters worse, he emailed everyone in class a copy of the script.

This is 2 months before the movie came out. God I was furious.

How he got those things, I have no idea.

Junkyard · 107 weeks ago

I actually made it through all three Star Wars prequels without ever seeing the films.

stepto01· 108 weeks ago

Haughty-helmet-wearing-hands-on-hips Joel is MY FAVORITE JOEL.

1 reply · active 108 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 108 weeks ago

It’s a permanent change. Glad you like it.

curvaceousdee· 108 weeks ago

They Might Be Giants reference win!

2 replies · active 108 weeks ago

Rebecca · 108 weeks ago

Seriously! I was just remembering how much I loved listening to TMBG with my dad when I was in awkward pre-teen (and beyond). Even though Joel and I are the same age, he often reminds me of my dad in these nerdy ways that are also sometimes really touching.

hijinksensue· 108 weeks ago

Go to your room.

Athene · 108 weeks ago

When the LOTR movies came out, I refused to watch any trailers. I think I saw some stills, but that is it. Whenever a trailer would come on, I would change the channel or leave the room. If I couldn’t change the channel or leave, I’d close my eyes and hum until I was sure it was over. I’m actually really glad I did that because a lot of the wonderful visual moments were brand new to me when I saw the movies.

1 reply · active 108 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 108 weeks ago

I guess that’s different for me since when a movie is based on a book that everyone knows the ending to, I dont really consider it a spoiler.

Didu· 108 weeks ago

My dad went to see Skyfall before me. He was going to say something about it but
I told him to shut up, because a mere mention of him liking it or not would tell me many things, as I know his taste in movies.

At the moment Star Trek Into Darkness is the only film I’m spoiler-shielding myself as I got to see Iron Man 3 last weekend. I should just go tumblr-free until I’ve seen it. I don’t watch trailers online, but mere seconds after any new material comes out, there’s a saturated gif set, fan art, frame by frame analysis and crossover with Supernatural or something. Tumblr savior is a thing, sure, but it only works if people tag their posts properly.

I’m going to see the Great Gatsby, but I read the book and Kate Beaton’s strips, so the only thing internet can spoil for me is the level of trainwreck.

As for Superman, I saw a Man of Steel teaser in the cinema and at first thought it was a gritty fishing drama, The Perfect Storm 2 or something.

2 replies · active 108 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 108 weeks ago

“My dad went to see Skyfall before me… that was 8 months ago. I may never speak to him again.”

Greg · 108 weeks ago

I prepared for my trip to the cinema with my wife to see Skyfall for her birthday by going the week before with a work colleague. I deserve a prize for keeping my mouth shut.

benthorp· 108 weeks ago

Being in that slightly niche position of being in the UK, but also liking NFL, for the 2012 Superbowl I had to record the match on the Sunday night, and wasn’t able to watch it until the Tuesday evening. So I spent 2 whole days ignoring every and any media possible – no internet, no radio, no newspapers, no TV. It was hellish, but I managed to avoid finding out the result.

runcibletune· 108 weeks ago

I’ve so far remained almost entirely knowledge-free about Star Trek Into Darkness. No trailers, nothing. I did accidentally come across some headlines that mentioned a major plot point (which I assume is in the trailers) when I was looking for photos from the London premiere.

I haven’t really given anything up – just been extremely careful around any internet-mention of the movie.

90percentgeek · 108 weeks ago

I’m holding off reading the Game of Thrones novels until after the TV series (and therefore presumably the books) are completed. Its one of the only adaptations where I hadn’t got to reading the books before they chose to adapt it to another medium. As such whenever I say I like the show and someone starts to say how it compares to the books I have to shut them down quickly but politely and explain I haven’t read the books and want to make my own comparisons once I’ve watched the whole show.

2 replies · active 107 weeks ago

Neph Sy · 108 weeks ago

I’m reading a book after each tv season, so just read book 2. You could read book 1 and 2 and it wouldn’t affect your enjoyment of series 3.

Junkyard · 107 weeks ago

I found having read the books enhances my enjoyment of the series, rather than spoiling it. Great though the series is, the books are better, so I’d rather the spoiling happens that way around. Also, lots of little details in the series (which are barely explained) make far more sense with the background from the books.

Kiltmancomics · 108 weeks ago

Google “Coolest Motorcycle Helmets” Ironman Is Among Them. As Someone Who Imdbs All Movies I Watch.. Spoilers Dont Bother Me..But A Load Of Movies I End Up Seeibg In My “Home Theatre” Via Redbox, Rather Than The Theatre, Because Of Schedules And Finances.. (Again, Sorry About Caps, All Words Seem Proper To The Android I Guess)

@AlexKah · 108 weeks ago

Being from the Netherlands the distributors either like us or hate our guts… For example I have to wait another full month for the premiere of Star Trek Into Darkness, June 6th?! Come on!! Then again, I did see Iron Man 3 two weeks before US release.
I generally have no problem with trailers, since they tell me quite a bit about the movie (not necessarily story, but also acting and visuals). I do however draw the line at film clips coming out after the movie has premiered…, those are dangerous.

Stephen · 108 weeks ago

Spoilers don’t really bother me too much. I mean I don’t go seeking them out, but if someone lets something slip I’m not going to eviscerate them with my adamantium claws. The most important thing to me is not what happens but how it happens. It’s the journey, not the destination. Unless the destination sucks… then no amount of journey can save it.

The Black Dog · 108 weeks ago

I have a few people who are being filtered out of my Twitter feed because they decided this year to start quoting lines from Mad Men as they are watching the new episodes. I can’t watch the episode until Monday so I don’t want to be spoiled.

ElNick · 108 weeks ago

I’d been talking to this girl for a while; she’s hot, I think she’s a little into me too, the conversation’s flowing as great as ever, when:

‘Oh yeah I saw the Avengers on the weekend! -character name- dies, how sad.’

I never spoke to her again. On sheer principle.

skoby · 108 weeks ago

I was 13 when The Matrix was released and it was rated 15 here, I tried getting in to see it with some older mates but failed. Two of my friends at school somehow got to see it and I somehow managed to avoid any major spoilers right up until a week before it was released on video (didn’t have a dvd player yet lol) and then for some reason one of the teachers decided to use the plot of the matrix for a subject of an assembly somehow twisting it to a metaphor about Christianity and Jesus, everything from the humans being used as a power source, being betrayed by Cypher (yes they even said his name), Zion and Neo’s powers.

Totally ruined the film for me and I think I may be the only person here who enjoyed the sequels more than the original, as disappointing as they were at least I didn’t see any spoilers.

bionelly · 108 weeks ago

I don’t really worry too much about movie spoilers – the whole responsible-parent thing, combined with a general lack of funds, means that I almost never see a movie less than a month after it comes out (and the vast majority wait until they’re on Netflix) and by then it’s pretty much a lost cause. If I have to wait a few days to see a TV episode I’ll go into “internet quarantine”, though – I don’t stay away from the internet entirely, but places like this, tumblr, fan forums and news sites are off-limits.

3 replies · active 108 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 108 weeks ago

I manage to make it to the theater about 6 times a year. I like seeing a movie when it’s new, but I find the overall theater experience pretty dreadful. During Iron Man 3 a woman behind me was explaining the entire movie to her 10 year old THE ENTIRE TIME. She never stopped talking at a normal volume.

GallopingConch· 108 weeks ago

Those are the worst types of people.

Rebecca · 108 weeks ago

At least you know she is going to the special hell.

Connor · 108 weeks ago

So far during every Saturday since the second part of season 7 of Doctor Who I give up the internet until I have seen the episode. As for movies it is hard to stay away from spoilers when I have a sister who won’t ever stop spoiling stuff like Iron Man 3 to me. I wish I had that helmet for those times.

@DenaghDesign · 108 weeks ago

Heck, I’ve given up. Even in innocuous comment threads like “what’s the furthest you’ve gone to avoid spoilers”, some jackhole is going to write about how in Iron Man 3 it was so awesome when Tony Stark grabbed [[SYSTEM MESSAGE: REST OF COMMENT DELETED. USER PERMABANNED. HAVE A NICE DAY.]]

kschenke · 108 weeks ago

I wanted to be absolutely surprised for the very last YJ comic issue, so I stayed off Tumblr and twitter the whole day. I know that sounds like a small task but I work from a computer ALL DAY, so the temptation was right there the whole time. It was worth it since the last two pages had moments for my favorite pairing ever.

MichaelH · 108 weeks ago

I rely on stupidity and bad memory to remain spoiler free for something. A UK Sci-fi magazine back in the day spoiled the Angel/Buffy huge plot twistfor mid season 2, ages before I saw Buffy on normal BBC TV. Infact I think I got the video from Blockbuster ahead of series 2 being shown, and was surprised. Then went ‘oh, wait… duh’

Recently, both a friend and I were completely blindsided by the villain reveal in Dark Knight Rises, despite having heard the character name and person who played them being revealed in the starting run up to the film, before it was even realised this was a spoiler.

I go the other way and deliberately spoil stuff for myself assuming I’ll never see the TV show, etc in question, and then later decide to get in to it 🙁

Currently the furthest I go to be spoiler free is giving up twitter until I’ve seen the newest Strip Searched. I even braved twitter when I hadn’t seen the latest Doctor Who. Though that was because it was a stand alone episode. If it had been the final episode… well, it’s easier to just watch the darn thing no matter the tim of night/morning than avoid the internet for too long!

Neph Sy · 108 weeks ago

I do close my eyes, cover my ears and hum a tune when I see a commercial or promo for a show or movie I am looking forward to seeing. Working at home makes a difference, I don’t pass by newsstands or hear people conversing on the bus or at the “office”, since my office is my basement.

The less plugged in you are the easier it is to avoid spoilers; no tumblr, no twitter, and I avoid Yahoo news at times. For reality show contests like Survivor, Project Runway, and Idol, I no longer watch Entertainment Tonight or other entertainment news shows, that cuts down on the chance of the finales being spoiled until I have a chance to watch them. Even managed to record the Oscars and watch it two days later, without any knowledge of who won.

vizard42· 108 weeks ago

I managed to avoid being spoiled on the dark knight rises for almost 2 years

1 reply · active 107 weeks ago

The Unknown FB · 107 weeks ago

Alfred did it.

BlackBunny · 107 weeks ago

I stopped reading this comic (and started avoiding all forms of internet geekery) because I couldn’t bring myself to watch Doctor Who series 7 part I until January and I was afraid of spoilers (I didn’t want my time with the Ponds to end!). While I managed to stay spoiler-free, I alienated several friends who wanted my opinions on the series. It was a dark, humourless time.