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The BIGGEST MERCH SALE I HAVE EVER DONE  ENDS THIS WEEK (9/21/13)! GO NOW to the HE STORE $10 Books! $9 Shirts! 

A guy is suing apple because he has to pay for each half of season 5 of Breaking Bad separately, and because he has nowhere to be, nothing to do, no one important in his life and an unlimited supply of money that he was just going to shovel into a furnace anyway. I believe his argument rests on the definition of what exactly a “season” is and how it relates to something called a “season pass.” Paying for “season 5” should entitle him to all episodes of the 5th season of the show, but what’s wrong with doing things the old fashioned way and just getting pissed and pirating the other episodes? You know, like our grandparents did back in The Great Depression? There’s no reason to get lawyers and the media involved, when there is vigilante pirate justice available just a few clicks away.

My guess is the “season” was determined by the network/producers of the show based on how they will eventually sell it on DVD/Bluray, and not by Apple. The right thing to do would be for Apple and the producers to reach an agreement to sell the season in the same fashion they have sold previous “seasons,” regardless of how the show was aired or how it will be sold in hard copy. The right thing would also be for the litigious dude in question to jump up his own cramhole.

COMMENTERS: What do you think about this split season iTunes double-dipping? Justifiable outrage on the part of a swindled consumer, or clerical error that shouldn’t result in a ridiculous lawsuit?

NOTE: The Mobile Alt Text button broke when I put the big store sale banner in the site. As soon as the sale is over I will put the button back.

Have you seen my wife’s latest geeky jewelry creation? DNA Necklaces! 

DNA Necklace on Etsy

 

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StephC · 91 weeks ago

This comic and the Alt text in particular express why I left my last job. Too many rich accountants bitching over a price increase of $50 for software that they can use to charge their clients $200 for using. They took it out on the front line customer service reps like they made the price list.
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Stupido Comics · 90 weeks ago

You mean Shell Corporation is suing Apple Inc.? I’d be…

I Wanna Be Where The People Are

The BIGGEST MERCH SALE I HAVE EVER DONE  is happening RIGHT NOW in the HE STORE and ends on 9/21/13!!! $10 Books! $9 Shirts! Other things! Different Prices!

The more I worked from home, worked my own hours and spent the day making comics for, packing orders for and interacting primarily with Internet strangers, the more I felt disconnected from the people in my life. Eventually I started keeping crazy person hours, going to bed at 7am and waking up at 4pm (kind of what I’m doing right now) which made it totally impossible to have lunch with friends or even get out and run errands during the day with other humans were about. I tried working at Starbucks or the library just to be around other ambulatory corpses, but no one “office” other than my home ever seemed to be worth the trouble of packing up all my gear.

Cartooning can be a lonely job. The main thing that has made a difference in this is having other cartoonists on Skype video calls or Google Hangouts. They don’t even have to be talking that much for it to seem like there is another person in the room. Like you have a coworker. It makes such a greater impact when you can actually glance over and see your friends working instead of just hearing their voices, or reading their instant messages. This is especially appreciated by me since I only see most of my cartoonist friends 4-5 times a year, if I’m lucky. I would imagine the next piece of tech that’s going to become as ubiquitous as smartphones and tablets is large (life size) telepresence, either through Skype embedded in every TV or some sort of mobile projection apparatus. Imagine Thanksgiving dinner with your entire extended family projected on the wall, and you stuck in another state or another country. Other than the sensations of touch and smell, you SHOULD feel like you are all in the same room. I know when I think back to conversations I’ve had via video chat, I remember them as if we were together in the same space, not talking through little magic picture boxes.

COMMENTERS: I’m sure a number of your work from home, or have in the past. How do you combat the loneliness? Do you find you work better when you’re alone or when you have other people to bounce ideas off of?

NOTE: The Mobile Alt Text button broke when I put the big store sale banner in the site. As soon as the sale is over I will put the button back.

Have you seen my wife’s latest geeky jewelry creation? DNA Necklaces! 

DNA Necklace on Etsy

 

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benthorp· 92 weeks ago

Every time people talk about working from home, all I can think about is this sketch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGg1567fzTY
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Laura Condit · 92 weeks ago

I had foot surgery a year ago and had to work from home for a couple of months. It was FABULOUS! IRL I share an office with a person who can be loud and VERY irritating sometimes so for me my time at home was a peaceful break. I don’t know if it would be difficult to adjust to being alone at home all the time but for me those two months were heavenly!
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@TheJoshAtkins · 92 weeks ago

I’ve been working at home for a little over 11 years now. My company closed our Boston-area office, and I stayed on remotely instead of relocating. At first it was FANTASTIC. I still had a large group of friends in the area that I could see if my off hours. Not having anyone around during the day was more than fine.

My wife and I have since moved, and making new friends in a new place as a work-at-homer has been very tough. I’ve taken a lot of classes through the Adult Education services in my town and met a few people that way. I started becoming more active on Twitter too. Following local people to get more of sense of the place. I still haven’t met most of my Twitter “friends” IRL, but having them virtually helps me feel more part of the place.

I feel the loneliness more in the days after getting together with old friends. Missing the old days of having them around all the time.

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Daltana · 92 weeks ago

I have two jobs. Mornings are spent working from home in a freelance aspect. Evenings are spent at the front desk of a small hotel. There are times I would gladly give up the second job for more time with the first, but I do enjoy the new people I meet each day.

On a side note, one of my elementary school classrooms had Number Munchers and Alphabet Munchers video games on old Apple II/IIe computers.

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King Zilch· 92 weeks ago

Yeah, I’ve worked from home off and on for the last few years; most recently I worked on a huge video project on such a tight schedule that I had to eschew the few social opportunities I had. And on those rare occasions when going out with people was unavoidable (like the small matter of my tenth wedding anniversary), I kept stressing about how much work I wasn’t getting done. So yeah, it can mess with your head.

It also puts me in mind of an earlier period, when I was working nights in a casino. I’d go to work at 10 PM and get home at 7 AM, putting me on pretty much the exact opposite schedule of all my friends. I started spending time on Yahoo chat, just to have people to interact with. I was keenly aware that it was no substitute for real social contact (even when I ventured into the *ahem* adult rooms), but the upside was that I met my wife that way.

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Fren · 92 weeks ago

Lifesize telepresence is a thing. I install these systems all the time for corporate overlords. All you really need a a BIIIIG BIG monitor. Like a nice 60 inch panel. Mount that puppy in portrait orientation, configure a computer to hook that resolution in that orientation, and whammo. You’re set.

Don’t be fooled by all the fancy geegaws, a hardware codec is just a specialized computer running software that you can run on your own general use PC. You can do it!

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brigidkeely· 92 weeks ago

I turn the tv on to keep me company sometimes and hear a voice that isn’t a 4 year old pretending to be a baby. I wind up watching a lot of truly awful tv. Did you know that H2 (a History channel) showed a program claiming that Kristalnacht was caused by Jewish teenagers who used a ouja board to raise a demon (a dybbuk) and didn’t properly disburse it? Yup, all the fault of Satanic Jews. Sadly, my writing got derailed by ranting on twitter.
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Chad · 92 weeks ago

My husband works from home. 80% or more of his company are entirely home based employees. He gets up every morning at 630 and goes to the gym, runs errands during the day when work is slow, and we spend the weekends out amongst the plebs.
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Miles · 92 weeks ago

Having an omnipresent skype seems a terrible thing to me, but I am not a work at home person. I also don’t turn a TV on for company (my TV is not in my apartment, it is in my brother’s home). I just… I just feel like silence is golden for me.
Of course, I don’t skype. I don’t use twitter. I don’t have a friendface account. Most memes pass me by undisturbed.
I am even okay not going out and meeting new people; it’s not that I am antisocial, but I value my alone time, and truy do enjoy the silence, and rarely get lonely. Of course, I find it pretty easy to make new friends and acquaintances too. I mean, right now, I’m many miles from ‘home’ as a mature student working on my Bachelor’s degree then my Master’s. The people I can friends are states away, and I get to see them once a year, maybe.
I dunno, I guess I am just a different kind of person.
I am more a “leave me alone so I can get my work done, and then screw around doing what I want to do” kind of beast.
=D
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Hotsauce · 92 weeks ago

Actually, the George R R Martin cookbook is called “A Feast of Ice and Fire” and is a thing that actually exists.
I still have no desire to eat eel pie. I eat eel sushi, but eel pie just sounds… squamous

2 replies · active 92 weeks ago

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Hotsauce · 92 weeks ago

I think it’s called “Samwell Tarley is Self-insertion”
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Bill Murphy · 92 weeks ago

If I feel lonely, I make a phone call. But that’s rare. I enjoy time by myself.

I’m also too much of a control freak to let anyone have input into something I’m doing. So I never bounce ideas off anyone. 😀

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EvilRonda · 92 weeks ago

I’ve been working from home for a few years now, with my ridiculous dog for company, and I love it!

I work for a company that mostly is on east coast time, and I’m on the west coast, so i get up a bit early, and am generally able to shut off work by 3, then go out into the world to be with the normal humans.

It’s fantastic 🙂

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

Its disappearance is explained in the blog post on this very page.
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DuckAmuck · 92 weeks ago

My favorite George R. R. Martin themed recipe is “The Red Breading.”

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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DuckAmuck · 92 weeks ago

From the cookbook “A Feast of Pies and Flour.”
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Dan · 92 weeks ago

If you figure it out, let me know!

The quiet is one of the more difficult aspects of working from home. And some days are harder than others. What works for me is keeping to my daily work schedule (I strictly keep regular office hours). The regularity of it helps the day move along, keeping me busy, and not thinking of how quiet the house it.

Oh that, and playing music VERY VERY LOUDLY.

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Adam p-s · 92 weeks ago

I’m a (humanities) Grad Student, so the most human contact I really get is going to the library to get books. I pretty much talk to my cat constantly, run ideas past him, read him quotes. I usually take his silence to mean “Good idea boss!”.
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lurkie · 92 weeks ago

I found that the moans and “oh baby” noises of the girls in the porn i was constantly watching was pretty close to human contact. Didn’t help me get my work done, though. I think I’m better off now that I’m back in an office…
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neph sy · 92 weeks ago

Crazy person hours – as a natural night owl, that’s my life much of the time. Why do people think you’re lazy if you don’t keep the same hours they do? You sleep the same amount, you work the same amount, it’s just not the same TIME schedule.

The lack of daily contact with people has been grinding me down over 10 years. I am seriously considering getting a part time job just for the social aspect, except I travel quite a bit for half of the year.

My partner is home, because he has been unemployed for a couple of years, and we spend much of our day in different parts of the house. However I worry that we are becoming a circle of two, the weird couple that people can’t relate to. Not that I mind being considered weird, I guess I just need to find more weirdos, people I can relate to.
Too many

Part of the issue is that all my closest friends moved far away years ago for better opportunities, and I don’t meet any new people. Phonecalls, emails and chatting online with strangers does help a bit. Going to craft shows and talking to customers and other crafters is always a pick-me-up. Recently I made friends with a local jeweller who loves to talk, and is also a bit odd. Even though she is more disciplined that I am, she doesn’t judge if I’m working in my pjs, or decide to work a marathon of 24 hours straight .

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Inigo Montoya · 92 weeks ago

Am I the only person who really wants to play that game? lol
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timbearcub· 90 weeks ago

Just going out to a cafe or library helps, just to be near people, it helps the cabin fever!

A Sanguine Response

The BIGGEST MERCH SALE I HAVE EVER DONE  is happening RIGHT NOW in the HE STORE and ends on 9/21/13!!! $10 Books! $9 Shirts! Other things! Different Prices!

I used to have lunch with Josh IRL and his work friends a lot. This was back when the comic was still just a hobby. Josh had a core group of lunch-goers, but he would always show up with 2-3 new people. They, being average, sane human beings would ask me, the one person at the table of 8-10 whom they did not work with, what I did for a living. Back then this question always made me feel like they were saying, “We all make video games. How exactly are you NOT living up to your potential?” Or even more simply, I would hear, “Hi! Nice to meet you! Tell me why you hate yourself!” I would usually say something like “I manage a small design team,” which was true. I would leave out the second half of that sentence which was, “…that makes websites for dentists.” Gross.

Once cartooning became my full time job it took me a long time to get used to saying “I’m a cartoonist.” It was certainly a truthful enough answer to, “What do you do?” but (as with any aspirational, dare-to-dream career) I always felt kind of like I was lying. Like I should have said, “I’m a cartoonist but I’m not very well known and I’m broke.” Eventually I realized the question was not, “How successful are you?” It was, “What do you do?” And What I did was draw comics. Eventually the work became the reward. The measure of success was that I’d spent one more day or one more month cartooning instead of going back to a day job I hated.

Even though I now have the greatest job in the world, I still get squeamish with strangers ask me what I do. This is only with “normal people” type strangers. I’m always more comfortable with other artists, musicians or entertainers since they probably know what it’s like to live part of your life privately and an increasingly larger part of your life in some form of the public eye. I abhor small talk, and I try to cut it off at every possible pass. I try to give short, curt answers that won’t lead to follow up questions. This is, of course, unhealthy, antisocial behavior. At least I can admit that. I get even more weirded out when people in my regular life (people I know from pre-comic days, family, neighbors or anyone else I know NOT through the Internet) bring up specific comics I’ve drawn or talk about things I’ve said online. I guess to me it feel like Bruce Wayne showing up to a shareholder’s meeting and some guy at the end of the table saying, “Nice job capturing TwoFace last night, Bruce.” People aren’t supposed to see my nighttime activities. Of course I do post them in the most public forum on earth with my actual name attached to each and every one. This is also a brain problem that I have. Again, at least I recognize that it’s a problem.

COMMENTERS: Hate small talk? Hate small talk with a certain person in particular? To what lengths will you go to avoid long conversations with strangers, office mates, family, etc? When I’m on an airplane I pop my earbuds in immediately, even if I’m not listening to music. It creates a forcefield of “I probably can’t hear you, so don’t talk to me,” that I quite appreciate because, again, brain problems.

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Comments (39)

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

All of these things are right and true, but it doesn’t change how I don’t like to talk to the lady that cuts my hair.
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T.J. · 92 weeks ago

I don’t understand why my barber always insists on talking to me. It’s such an uncomfortable position to be in, with someone you know passingly (at best) wielding an array sharp objects very close to my faceparts, all the while wanting to know my life’s story. I get that it’s probably a bit strange for them as well, and they could probably use a conversation partner. But sitting in that chair kind of puts you in a defenseless position, so coming up with answers to small talk gets even tougher, and all I really wanted was to get a haircut.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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Tommy · 92 weeks ago

I’d rather talk to the hair stylist than to try to carry a conversation with the dentist/dental hygienist. The ones fresh off the boat from southeast Asia need the practice in speaking and listening to English.
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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

Of course THEN there was that kid at your house for thanksgiving that grilled him constantly about “teh gaems” and went so far as to ask if he has a bunch of free xbox games he could give him.
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Natalie · 92 weeks ago

Pretty sure the whole reason that silent ringtones were invented was so people can pretend they just got a super important text that requires their immediate attention, or so they can just avoid conversation totally. Sometimes I look around a train or a waiting room and wonder what percent of people on their phones actually have friends who are messaging them and which ones are just looking at porn or typing out the words to American Pie.
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Will · 92 weeks ago

I was just thinking the same thing. I generally read this from my ipad and it was great to still be able to see the alt-text via the old button. I was just catching up on the comic when I realized something was missing.
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DrPepperMD· 92 weeks ago

It’s still there for me on on chrome v29.
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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

It’s currently broken because of the big SALE graphic above the comic. After the sale Ill pop it back in.
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brigidkeely· 92 weeks ago

I don’t normally avoid small talk, actually. One of my favorite things about retail is the constant stream of new customers and small talk and being able to recycle my jokes endlessly, to the consternation of my co-workers. However, there are times I do not want the small talk, usually when I’m taking public transit or walking down the street. Since I am a lady-type, I don’t really have any defense against that. A lot of dudes see ear buds as like an INVITATION to just TRY HARDER.
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Amy · 92 weeks ago

I actually get more uncomfortable with questions like that. Mostly because I tend to read cheap “genre” fantasy and science fiction. It can be hard to explain what some of my favorite books are about without it sounding ridiculous. There have even been a couple of times when I’ve decided NOT to bring a particular book to work or school because I don’t want to have to talk about it.

But I guess basically I don’t want people getting too close to me, so I’d rather answer the superficial “what do you do” type of questions. I feel like people are more likely to judge me for liking Piers Anthony than for being a math tutor.

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adamrocketblack· 92 weeks ago

Piers Anthony, ?
Amy, I SO used to respect you….
Now let me get back to my auto-didactucation in the tropes of The TV.
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Runcibletune · 92 weeks ago

I discovered how to make paper book covers in elementary school when I wanted to bring a Piers Anthony book (or one of the more tawdrily illustrated Anne McCaffrey books) to school.
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AmyLynn · 92 weeks ago

I know enough about weather and sports to be able survive lines at the bank and such. My difficulty is at work, where I have nothing to contribute to conversations about clothes, nail polish and whatever was on TLC last night. I am working on my “I’m too busy – go away” body language, but I am concerned I will be the coworker that everyone hates. It is not that I don’t like anything, I just don’t like anything they like. I also open a book as soon as I sit in my airplane seat, but only because that small talk usually involves long conversations that tend to pry into my privacy, like “where are you going?”

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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The Unknown FB · 92 weeks ago

I work in a very small office enclave inside our client’s corp HQ, so I have to deal with 2 different work “cultures”, most of which involve pick-em up trucks as big as the Titanic that the ladies in hooker pumps can’t park, burnt/grilled/sauced meat-flavored products that have no actual flavor, and CONSTANT talk about the footsball.

As a nerd gaymer moderately fashionable non-hetero male, you might be able to image me with YouTube running constantly while I have any podcast nerdery available to listen to in my ear buds. And long lunches where I hide from the rednex, yahoos, hilljacks, and the like.

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Bill Murphy · 92 weeks ago

One great way to end a conversation is to invade a person’s personal space. That is the airspace two feet around their body. You don’t have to touch them, just continue with the conversation but get less than two feet from them. Subconsciously they will feel awkward and remove themselves.

This has been tested and proven over a 4 year study working at Six Flags. 😉

3 replies · active 92 weeks ago

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kabann· 92 weeks ago

Gosh I wish that worked. I seem to get stuck meeting people who have no concept of personal space… the ones who shake your hand and try to hold it for the amount of time it takes to learn all about what you do for a living, where you’re from, and what about before that.
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Candace · 92 weeks ago

Yeah, I suspect that works better for men than women, and best for men who are larger/taller than average. On the other end of that, most people do not find petite women particularly intimidating, and I have no doubt that there are plenty of male strangers out there who would love it if I invaded their personal space.
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The Unknown FB · 92 weeks ago

I find that flatulence, especially some SBDs from a woman, will fix that right up.
Try it sometime.
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TJ Kiltman Anderson · 92 weeks ago

pretend Turrets ala Boondock SHIT! FUCK! CUNT! Saints..PeopleAreLessLikely To Converse TWAT! CUNT! SHIT! with you.
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Jeff West · 92 weeks ago

I am Deaf, but I was raised in both oral and sign language methods of communication, so I have the best of both worlds. I can talk to hearing people using only my voice just as easily as I talk to Deaf/Hard-of-Hearing people using only signs. However, my favorite thing to do, when avoiding people, is to just start signing and act like I have no ability to speak. Nothing scares hearing people away faster than seeing a Deaf person and not knowing how to respond. It’s effective against chatty strangers, pesky sales/survey people at the mall, and anyone who goes door-to-door preaching their religion.
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Cori K · 92 weeks ago

Yeah, awkward I understand. I study religion in the US. People have said so many stupid and even hurtful things about it that I am also sometimes hesitant to tell people what I do. Hell, I’ve even had friends pull the “you’re wasting your talent” line on me. It’s easy to get defensive, especially when you’ve been put on the defensive so many times in the past.

And if I tell them I work on religion and pop culture (with special attention to TV and webcomics), well, then it gets interesting. I’m just throwing my life away, after all.

(How do I get people to stop? I’ll let you know when I figure it out myself.)

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antisocialbutterflie· 92 weeks ago

I fall on the other end of the career spectrum but I have the same problem. I have a PhD in a hard science and I HATE telling people. I will usually perform conversational back flips to avoid telling people about my job. Once it’s out there it’s the only thing bother to learn about me. People assume I must be super smart and make tons of money. And I have to reply “No actually I spend most of my day watching liquid drip from a tube and make less than a manager at McDonalds.”
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Candace · 92 weeks ago

I actually don’t mind making small talk with strangers or people I don’t know very well most of the time, although I can relate to not liking it when strangers ask me what I’m reading, since most of it is science fiction or fantasy, and I hate that blank or glazed-eye look I get from non-geek types when I say who/what I’m reading.

If I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone, I try to avoid making eye contact. That usually works pretty well if there’s no one present I actually need to talk to for some reason.

What I really hate is when I’m in a store and just want to browse, and someone is trying to “help” me. Then, of course, whenever I do need help while shopping, there is nary a salesperson in sight.

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manbeardman · 92 weeks ago

i normally avoid people as if all of them are carrying the plague and therefor dislike small talk the only time i dont is when playing online games or at game store or at the anime store getting my gundam fix
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MrSueDenim· 92 weeks ago

I’m riddled with anxieties about social situations. (All part of a larger mental-health clusterfuck I deal with.) These days I try to engage as much as possible, but I still have a range of tricks I use to escape those stressful situations.

In my youth I would imitate a profound speech impediment (a splisp – half stutter, half lisp) or fake a foreign accent to avoid talking to others.

These days, I have an app on my phone that lets me fake a call by having the phone ring and displays one of my contacts as the caller.

If that can’t buy me an exit, then I go for an Oscar and fake an emotional response: I go glassy eyed & stare off into space for a bit, sigh deeply and mournfully, and then ask them if they wouldn’t mind if I stepped out for a bit. Most people are too considerate to say no. (In the event that tears are needed, I like to remind myself that everyone I love will eventually die.)

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FuryOfFirestorm· 92 weeks ago

When in doubt, just quote Kindergarten Cop

Say, “I’m a gynecologist, and I look at vaginas all day!”. If that fails, scream “IT’S NOT A TUMOR!” really loud.

That should get people to stop asking about your job.

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Leshka · 92 weeks ago

Putting on headphones works for you? You lucky bastard! I’ll have headphones, mouth the words to the song I’m listening to AND be reading a book, and I still get people who pass others on the subway just to ask me for directions.

I keep looking for that tattoo on my forehead that says “Information – please disturb”.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

I believe I heard this from a comedian but the idea that you would try to START a conversation with a person reading a book (an act that requires 100% of your concentration) is sociopathic to me.
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Tom · 92 weeks ago

Everything I know about small talk I learned from Star Trek: The Next Generation ‘Starship Mine’.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

take out “about small talk” and “Starship Mine” and that’s me.
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StephC · 92 weeks ago

Try this one… you’ve taken off from working a “real job” to try and write a book and aren’t published. That’s always really awkward because people either assume you’re just sitting on your ass all day or they ask what you’re writing about. I can handle other small talk with strangers except the subject of career.
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Christina · 92 weeks ago

As someone who makes video games for a living, I can tell you that most “normal” people react the exact same way. When my hairstylist, dental hygienist, or random friend of a friend asks me what I do, it’s the same embarrassing experience where they give me a look like “Is that a real job?” because in their minds, someone working on video games is basically an overgrown child. :/

Who Is Your Daddy And What Does He Do?

The BIGGEST MERCH SALE I HAVE EVER DONE  is happening RIGHT NOW in the HE STORE and ends on 9/21/13!!! $10 Books! $9 Shirts! Other things! Different Prices!

This is essentially the first comic of the rebooted redirectionalized (no WAY this is a real word) HijiNKS ENSUE. The storyline before this serves as a sort of bridge between the pop culture based, continuity free strips and the new stuff. It’s not going to be all parenting stuff from here on out. That’s just how I’m choosing to start this phase of my work, because that (being a parent) was the entire reason I started the comic and eventually started The Experiment. It seems fitting that this new chapter in The Experiment begins with comics about the impetus for The Experiment itself and a discussion of one of the ideals I brought up in my original Experiment writings.

There is this pervasive idea that “artist” is not a job. A concept that in order to be an artist or a musician or an independent anything, you must ALSO have a “respectable” day job. The short version of my thesis on the subject is that art, music, comedy, drama enrich the lives of essentially every person who lives on this planet, yet most of those people would consider those professions as fake or unattainable “you’re deluding yourself” dreams. Well, that is until those careers are practiced at their absolute apex. No one scoffs at the career path of an international pop star or an Oscar winner. Yet they seem to forget that everyone they admire in entertainment started as a “deluded dreamer.” Further more, they don’t seem to realize that intense satisfaction, personal worth, accomplishment and even financial gain can be made from just doing the thing (usually the art) that you want to do for a considerably smaller audience. I, and thousands like me, are proof that this idea is outdated and irrelevant, to say the least. Yesterday my kid said she can’t decide is she wants to be “a veterinarian or a famous artist.” She pointed out that a vet gets to be around cute animals all day (plus one in the vet column), but she already knows from me selling prints of her artwork at conventions (for which she gets all of the money) that drawing something once and getting paid for it over and over is NOT too shabby of a gig. There are far worse ways to make a living.

My daughter has actually had a pretty good handle on what I do for a living for a couple of years now. She once said, “You draw pictures for your friends and if they like them, they pay you for them.” That’s not SUPER far off from entirely accurate. She also understands that I don’t to go to work away from home every day, but in exchange I have to leave for a convention 3-4 days a month. I’ve convinced her this is a more than fair trade and a small price to pay. When a stranger asks me what I do, and I don’t want to get into specifics I’ll usually say I’m a cartoonist. They’ll ask what cartoons I draw (they almost ALWAYS assume “cartoonist means “animator”), and I’ll say I do my own cartoons online. This typically ends the conversation because that sounds like I’m saying, “I don’t have a job but I fuck around on the Internet a lot.” If I just want to shut the conversation down and, say, finish my haircut in silent peace I will say I am “an illustrator.” NO ONE has a follow up question for that one. Not entirely sure why, either.

COMMENTERS: Have you ever had a hard time explaining what it is you do, or what your spouse, parents or kids do? 

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If you follow me on Twitter, Facebook or Tumblr you probably already know that I have recently joined with Hiveworks for my hosting and advertising needs. They are a digital publisher and advertising network, AND a pretty great group of comics pros that form a guild of publishers, artists, business types and David Willis. I suggest you check out their roster of comics, their affiliates and anything else they have to offer since my current financial situation relies somewhat on their success.

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Comments (81)

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Macman's avatar

Macman · 92 weeks ago

I work in capacity planning and performance monitoring and management of IT systems. I have a hell of a time explaining my job to people…assuming I can even keep them awake long enough to get through the explanation. My son has come to work with me a couple of times, and I still don’t think he could tell anyone what I do.

4 replies · active 92 weeks ago

thevoxpopuli's avatar - Go to profile

thevoxpopuli· 92 weeks ago

So…what do you do?
Macman's avatar

Macman · 92 weeks ago

What? That first sentence didn’t explain it all?

I used to performance test web applications to ensure that they can handle the expected user loads that they will experience in our production environment and also making sure that we have the system capacity on the floor to take on the new application and user loads. Lately I’ve been working more on implementing tools to monitor application performance in our test and production environments. Asleep yet?

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thevoxpopuli· 92 weeks ago

That sounds exactly like what my buddy does. He has stopped explaining it to people. Now he just says “I work on the parts of cell phone games you don’t really see.”
Macman's avatar

Macman · 92 weeks ago

That’s a good answer, actually. I may have to steal it.
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Mr_MFS· 92 weeks ago

I saw this, read your follow up, and can totally relate. My wife, as it were, has the “real” job working in an office, whereas I’m an actor. I’m doing everything I can to make what I do my source of income, but people always ask me, “When are you going to get a job?” As if the acting thing is not work in itself between the auditions and classes, and doing small parts for little to no pay isn’t work, I find it hard to explain. However, I do think I might need some type of work to keep myself busy or at least to support the career path I’m carving for myself.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

Stagegeek's avatar

Stagegeek · 92 weeks ago

I can certainly relate. I went to school for theatre, and haven’t done a bit of it since, working jobs to keep my head above water which did not allow the time free to act. I have now started a regular 9-5, and have started auditioning again (just this week, the Broadway Bound show “National Passtime” at Little Theatre of Wilkes-Barre). My wife is an artist/creative guru. She has not held a regular 9-5 type job for 3 years now, and does her best to help out around the house as much as she can. Unfortunately, we have yet to find the market for her brand of art, which she describes as “Vividly Cheerful Abstract Art”, which can all be found available for purchase at ww.spkcreative.com.
Rich's avatar

Rich · 92 weeks ago

I (hope I) speak for everyone when I say I will continue not to use an adblocker as long as you continue not to sell space to ads that want blocking (noisy one, autoplayers, malware installers, etc). Keep up the good work (and the reasonably palatable ads) and we’ll keep up the page views. :)b
JoJo's avatar

JoJo · 92 weeks ago

i agree with the good fellow up there. i always disable adblock for the webcomics i read. as for my job, since i juggle myself between 2 or 3 jobs regularly, i say that “i do things, fix problems, know people”

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

You are obviously a contract killer.
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gabepuratekuta· 92 weeks ago

You’re the IT guy, then
Crotalus's avatar

Crotalus · 92 weeks ago

True… but only the offspring are capable of that devastatingly vicious bitchslap to the ego.
Ceri's avatar

Ceri · 92 weeks ago

You obviously haven’t met my mum…
hijinksensue's avatar - Go to profile

hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

I was gonna say… Im sure for a lot of people the ego hit would be WORSE coming from their parents. My mom has little to no idea what I actually do. She knows I draw comics and put them on the internet but I think the comprehension stops there.
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MrSueDenim· 92 weeks ago

Adblock disabled!

I’m a high school teacher, but when people ask I reply that I am a forensic anthropologist who specialises in embryos. “I poke your babies until they do what I want.”

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mist · 92 weeks ago

tends to puzzle me a bit, about the “don’t come home to a pigsty”, and when others mention childcaring with regards to laundry and cooking. Do they assume that single people doing other jobs don’t have to look after their domicile or prepare their own food?. (I know there’s more to home management than just that, but those don’t go away just because you work 10-15 hrs in a “real” job)
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thevoxpopuli· 92 weeks ago

it’s part of the benefit of a relationship in general. If two people are working, both have to share that workload but also share in the extra money that comes in. IF one person is working the other can dedicate time to making sure the home is in great shape. Either way, it lightens the load on both. Single people just have that extra chore. They’re poorer and/or there home requires the extra work,
Leshka's avatar

Leshka · 92 weeks ago

Title: Word Processing Supervisor. Unfortunately, I don’t have a staff anymore, and I do all the work myself. What is it I do, you ask? Depends on the day. I usually say “I do the stuff no one else wants to do” but there are many jobs like that.

I went to pastry school (and huuuuge debt) just so I could say a profession in 2 words: pastry chef. Course that doesn’t pay the bills, so incomprehensible job, here I come…

dan's avatar

dan · 92 weeks ago

My father in law plays violin for one of the top symphonies in the USA. When I told my mom the was a violinist for the symphony she said the same as in the strip..but what is his real job?

Granted, I grew up in a city with a symphony that was just okay and was basically volunteer with stipend pay, so those musicians did have other jobs.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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Runcibletune · 92 weeks ago

Augh, the music student in me just emitted a sympathetic wail at that story.
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Jason· 92 weeks ago

I’m a technical writer. When people ask what that means, I usually tell them that I write all the user manuals that no one ever reads.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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Siirenias · 92 weeks ago

Hey, I want to let you know that I read them! They tell me how to not break things.

Usually.

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brigidkeely· 92 weeks ago

I’m a stay at home parent which is barely one step removed from being a pan handler in terms of respectability. Easy to explain, but nobody sticks around for the explanation because they assume they know what I’m going to say before I say it.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

Gah! I know this so well. My wife stayed home with our daughter for the first 5 years. She still works from home but when people would say “and what does your wife do.” I would usually say, “She works a HELL of a lot harder than I do.”
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The black dog · 92 weeks ago

This comic reflects exactly what my boyfriend goes through sometimes since he is an actor.
Chelsea's avatar

Chelsea · 92 weeks ago

I’ve been going around and around with my husband on a similar topic. I’m currently a technical writer, but I’m trying very hard to quit that and be a full-time novelist. Husband is very supportive about the plan, but doesn’t get why I don’t want to tell every Larry, Moe, and Curly I meet that I’m writing a book. Honestly, I just don’t want to deal with the “delusional dreamer” side-eye. I figure having actual, hard-earned money to show for my work (even if it’s not very much) makes it look more legitimate from the outside.
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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

One of the reasons I dont tell strangers I write comic strips is, “hey I had a funny thought. You can use it in one of your funny papers!”
DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck · 92 weeks ago

I constantly have a hard time explaining what I do. I’m a graphic designer. (yes, but what do you DO? You design graphics? –No, I design graphically.)
I don’t create advertising for a major national company – but I adjust those advertisements to specs given by individual company reps for their own personal advertising.
Sound fun? No? Tedious and stupid? Yeah, that’s about right…
Paul's avatar

Paul · 92 weeks ago

Disc Jockey. No… not on the radio…. No…. not at a concert…. no…. not at a club…. yeah…. parties…. right…. I PARTY for a living…. right…. there is never any “real” workj…. Seriously, this IS my full time gig….. it IS putting my daughter through college, feeds my 17 year old son, supports all our media habits, pays the mortgage and taxes. Sure, my wife has a Masters degree. Who do you think supported us while she did here time and now that she’s overqualified for any paying job in this town. Yep, I also get to volunteer at school during the day. DJ SuperDad
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ken · 92 weeks ago

No one has a follow up to illustrator because most don’t know what that means but don’t want to admit it

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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Dan · 92 weeks ago

My kids haven’t asked me this question yet. They seem to appreciate my job as an artist, especially since it means I’m home for them after school. Whenever I start to stress about not pulling my financial weight in the family, my wife reminds me of how much we’d have to pay for babysitting for all the time I am with the kids.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

When I was still working a regular job we did some math and realized that with daycare and gas my wife was only earning about $300 a month working 40+ hours a week. She quit the next month.
Tony's avatar

Tony · 92 weeks ago

Hopefully by the time I have kids, I’ll actually have to explain what I’m doing, not what I went to school to learn to do but now just get really annoyed trying to do in my free time and don’t know if I even want to do anymore. That, or hopefully I’ll have gotten good enough to get paid to draw pictures like I think I rather would, but can’t be sure of until I can kinda form any sort of consistent artistic habit.

But with everyone else, I just point to Pixar movies and say “Kinda like that.” If pressed, I can go into the differences between real-time rendering and prerendered films and all the constraints that adds, and the differences between environment and character art, and textures and rigs and particle effects, and whichever discipline I’m trying to get passable at at any given time, and the fact that the general perception in the industry is that no one wants to play a game about a talking airplane when they could be playing the next Call of Duty or Madden and how that affects the aesthetics, and suddenly the Pixar analogy is completely borked so I always pray that I won’t actually be asked to elaborate.

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moffattbooks· 92 weeks ago

i stock shelves overnight at a grocery store…I make up stories as to what I do..the sad part is I can’t do anything evil overnights….so I torture my coworkers with evil geeky ideas instead
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erikrbennett· 92 weeks ago

I had a new one the other day. I’m a Systems Admin in IT, but I usually just say “IT” and if someone asks me for specifics, I oblige. I said my usual “I’m in IT,” and the guy looked at me blankly and said, “What’s that?”

In all my years of doing this (15+) I’ve never had that response. I take for granted that everyone has had to deal with the IT department at some time. Apparently not this guy, for better or for worse. 🙂

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

That is an AWESOME job. When I was a kid I was obsessed with shows like Movie Magic. I wanted to be a prop builder or a model maker or a stop motion animator.
Ceri's avatar

Ceri · 92 weeks ago

That would be my dream job! Now if only I had an once of artistic talent…
Ceri's avatar

Ceri · 92 weeks ago

Ounce, dammit.
GrendelVS's avatar

GrendelVS · 92 weeks ago

I have a similar problem trying to explain “Change Management” to anyone not in IT.
theroyalher's avatar

theroyalher · 92 weeks ago

Aside from my day job of Personal/Executive assistant which is hard enough to explain because I do WAY more than either of those titles by themselves call for let alone combined I teach and coach Ballroom Dance.
I am one of 6 people on the planet certified by ALL the the organizations which govern ballroom dance and only one of 4 people who teach all styles and coach professional level couples…….try explaining that to the general populace…..usually it goes
“I teach dance”
“Like jazz and hip hop (FML) and stuff?”
“Ballroom”
“OMG like you can tango and stuff”
“And stuff”
“OMG I totally want to learn for my cousin/brother/sisters/friends wedding”
“No”

2 replies · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

I was a bit of an EA for a few years. I basically ran errands for a rich dude that used to be my boss at a dotcom startup. It was exceedingly weird.
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theroyalher · 92 weeks ago

Weird is right. Theres all the office stuff….answering phones, emails, business travel and the like. Still a number of things other EA’s dont do and wouldnt do especially for the money I make. The real insanity comes in when you take into account that I pay all his household bills, handle all his personal properties and vehicles, buy his clothes, wine, gifts, book all his vacations, doctors…..I mean everything….I even order the coffee for his house……AND I do the same thing for his father, wife and 4 ADULT children.
Had to walk out of a restaurant last night to pick up a call about the new cooling unit for the new wine cellar (the 3rd one) and was able to pay for it over the phone because I use his credit card so much I have the number memorized.
Greg's avatar

Greg · 92 weeks ago

“I am a Field Engineer who installs, validates, and repairs automated monitoring and watering systems for Pharmaceutical, Laboratories, and Biotech.”
“Huh???”
“I work with computers.”
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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

“All my funny work stories involve blood.”

You and me both.

mist's avatar

mist · 92 weeks ago

Downside of vet is same as downsides for IT fixing. You only see the sick and the injured, you want to help all of them, it’s never as glamorous as it’s sounds and failure is unpleasant.

Did IT, and also security work, for many years. Kids didn’t ask much because I never got to see them that much (server downtime is often best scheduled after hours). They do remember the times (as does my ex) of having to wait outside in the car for hours on end when we got an on-call emergency on way to beach or on way back from holiday, and others were busy.
Now I’m doing FX trading for kicks, and dairy farming. No kid questions as partner took them, she didn’t like being away from her city friends, having to travel, or having a partner smell bad all the time. And I’d still never get to see the kids anyway because farmings 10-12hr days, 7 days a week. But at least I don’t have to constant put up with mismatched poorly de3signed tech, or playing constant catchup with the late$t relea$e or patche$.

Bruceski's avatar

Bruceski · 92 weeks ago

My dad’s an astrophysicist/nuclear physicist. I haven’t a clue what he actually DOES because all the interesting stuff’s classified. He’s semi-retired and currently seeing what papers he didn’t have time to finish that are still publishable, so maybe I can finally read some of his stuff.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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Bruceski · 92 weeks ago

As for me, I’m unemployed but I’m thinking this year I need to call myself a “moving goon”. Seems like 75% of my friends and my parents have been moving this year, and I’ve helped most of them out.
Fred's avatar

Fred · 92 weeks ago

I have Adblock turned off but I still see large empty boxes at the top and on the right, and sometimes the bottom too.

???

Emily's avatar

Emily · 92 weeks ago

After my dad the computer wizard passed away my mom had a discussion with the manager from his job. Apparently they couldn’t replace him because they weren’t sure what is was that he did, just that everything stopped working after he went into the hospital.

For me I’m transitioning from deli clerk back to my chosen field of childcare, so the responses are switching from “that’s the best you can come up with?” to “you’re crazy to enjoy watching kids for a living!”

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KGHorn · 92 weeks ago

I’m a musician. My favorite was trying to explain what I do to my completely type A+, logical engineering brother and his engineering wife.

Them: “So, you’re majoring in horn performance?”
Me: “Yep.”
Them: “So, what do you do with that?”
Me: “The ultimate goal is to play my horn really well and people will pay me to do it.”
Them: “Wait, people pay you to make music? That can’t actually be a job.”
Me: “Well, there’s the Chicago Symphony, the New York Philharmonic, and even some smaller, local orchestras and all of those musicians get paid to play.”
Them: “But they must have jobs they do, right?”
Me: “No, that IS their job.”
Them: “Really? Are you sure? They just get paid to play in an orchestra?”
Me: “Yes, it’s a full-time job.”
Them: “Oh…….are you really sure about that?”

Sigh.

Gretchen's avatar

Gretchen · 92 weeks ago

I’m an author who still has to make ends meet with a day job (senior technical writer at a biometric security firm…which is every bit as boring as it sounds). I’ve been very lucky to have a supportive husband, family, and even co-workers, but every now and then I’ll get strange questions or condescending remarks. “Why are you writing stories, you already have a real job?” “Do you know how unlikely it is to get published? Probably not worth the effort.” Or my personal favorite, “I’m totally writing a book too! Well, I mean, I have the idea for a book. You know what, you could write it for me, then when it’s a best seller I’ll give you a cut of the profit.”
Neil's avatar

Neil · 92 weeks ago

Of course it’s not a real job! You enjoy it.

If the rest of us are going to be miserable in our day to day lives, then we’re sure as hell not going to accept that it’s possible to be paid and not be miserable!

Neph Sy's avatar

Neph Sy · 92 weeks ago

My job isn’t hard to explain, but people don’t understand how I can support myself with it. I am an artist, but for the last ten years the focus has been jewelry, as a craftsperson.
“Where do you buy……” – I make it all
“Do you have a store?” No.
Or if I’m at a craft show – You’re in it right now.
“So what stores can I buy your jewelry at” – None
Or if I’m at a craft show – This is the store
“Can you fix this ….(piece of junk jewelry that is not made by me)” – No
“Can you engrave/size my ring/repair (an expensive piece of jewelry not made by me)” – No

I do tire of people thinking that I am a repair shop, must have my own physical store or be selling in stores across the country to be able to support myself. They just don’t get that there are many business models out there. Just like Joel, I’m home working most days, but go out of town to craft shows 1-3 times a month. I can really relate to “the experiment”, and the roller-coaster ride that is being self employed.

At this point my family is pretty much used to the idea that this is my job, but they still keep offering me money. Since I live frugally, it looks to them as if I’m in debt, and poor, but that is not the case. Seriously my parents try to pay me for picking them up at the airport, or mowing their lawn, because “we would of paid someone else to do it”!

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

Bruceski's avatar

Bruceski · 92 weeks ago

I’ve got a lot of friends at Intel. Some of them run the machines that make the chips, some of them fix stuff that those other people break, but anyone I mention it to assumes they sit in a workroom designing computer chips instead of the reality of “stare at this monitor and do something if this light comes on.” I suppose I should take it as a compliment, I look like someone who has smart friends.

…not to say my friends are stupid, particularly if they read this. There’s just a lot more going on at those companies than the big sexy TV depiction.

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MrPlow99 · 92 weeks ago

I’m a software engineer. I generally find that the only people who ask for more details about what I do are the ones who would understand my answer anyway.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

lou's avatar

lou · 92 weeks ago

Reminds me of the many MANY times my dad would get my major wrong when he talks about me to people. He says Computer Science, when I actually studied (and got my B.S. in) Computer Engineering. One time he dropped an f-bomb after I corrected him (not for the first time).
werwolf's avatar

werwolf · 92 weeks ago

i really wrestled with myself to try to take the high road and add something reasonable or sensible to this comments thread, but… what the heck!
http://youtu.be/FrIpB2B14Ek?t=1m4s
uwg's avatar

uwg · 92 weeks ago

You’ve probably heard some version of this joke:

The teacher is asking the kids what their parents do for a living. After a bunch of the usual responses, Little Johnny says, “My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.” The teacher, flustered, quickly changes the subject. Later she makes a call to Johnny’s father and asks, “What’s this I hear about you playing piano in a whorehouse?” Johnny’s father replies, “Oh, that. Actually I’m a corporate attorney, but you can’t tell that to a 6-year-old kid.”

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Siirenias · 92 weeks ago

I’m an herbalist.

If you can understand what that means…you’re probably also an herbalist. I am so sorry for you.

lou's avatar

lou · 92 weeks ago

My dad is a mortgage broker, a branch of the real estate tree who helps you pay for the house you want to buy. It’s pretty confusing to me, but the best I can describe to those who ask are he’s a go-between from customer to bank.
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FuryOfFirestorm· 92 weeks ago

Joel, the next time your daughter asks what you do, just say, “Daddy occasionally draws gay bearded dudes getting it on, and it is glorious”.

Oh, and I whitelisted the living shit out of this site 8^)

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adamrocketblack· 92 weeks ago

Well, thats all recursive cool-ness and all,
but we are all really on the edge of our seats for when you SORAS this kid into the comedy-laden teen years, ( next week? )
and introduce Cousin Oliver.
meagankn's avatar

meagankn · 91 weeks ago

This is exactly what I face as an actor pretty much constantly. Along with being consistently asked to work for free. I once tried to make the analogy that you would never approach a chef that you have no previous personal relationship with to cater your wedding for free. No amount of “it will look great on your resume” or “it’s a wonderful learning experience” will get them to say yes. Somehow with the arts it is completely different. And it sometimes sucks. So glad you’re doing this and doing so well at it! And I’m excited to see where the new style will lead!
Deadboy's avatar

Deadboy · 8 weeks ago

I’ve got a slightly different problem. I’m 30 and a punk (big Mohawk, leather jacket, piercings etc), so most people who met me end up asking – “when are you going to grow up and get a job?”
– “I have a job. I work in IT. In an office.”
– “What looking like that?” 0_0
– “Yes, because I’m good at what I do and what I do and my boss isn’t prejadisted.”

Open Your Eyes

The BIGGEST MERCH SALE I HAVE EVER DONE OR PROBABLY EVER WILL DO is happening RIGHT NOW in the HE STORE and ends on 9/21/13!!! $10 Books! $9 Shirts! INSANITY! SAVINGS INSAAAAANITYYYYYY!!!

 The feedback and support for the new direction of the comics has been overwhelmingly positive. Thank you, Fancy Bastards, for letting me know I’ve made the right choice. I wrestled with this decision for months, but (coincidentally enough) it gave me the same “You really should do this, you know you want to, you know it’s the right time,” feeling that I got both when I decided to propose to my wife and tell her I wanted to talk about having children. When it’s right, it’s right.

My daughter comes up with these hyper-specific, ultra-complicated rules for games and playtime events and spits them out like they’re totally common sense based, and everyone should probably already know them because… see the earlier thing about common sense. Unfortunately my dad brain has a hard time with, “and if any two ponies are in the pony jail at the same time, then one person has to run into the kitchen and make the other person a snack, but only if the first pony is a pegasus…” etc, etc. She often starts these games with either only the title or the first couple of rules in mind, and ABSOLUTELY no idea what is supposed to happen after, say, the first 30 seconds. I should just throw my hands up at the beginning and walk directly into pony jail.

COMMENTERS: What convoluted games do your kids make up? Did you have any of your own as a kid? One time, me and kiddo made an actual board game that you can print out and play with your kids.

Have you seen my wife’s latest geeky jewelry creation? DNA Necklaces! 

DNA Necklace on Etsy

 

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thevoxpopuli· 92 weeks ago

the lampshading here is kind of ridiculously fun.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

I’ll be moving on and never mentioning it again very shortly.
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Jason · 92 weeks ago

I really like the idea that Joel has had a family this whole time just off screen. Bully for you, Sir.

4 replies · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

I BRIEFLY considered the “reveal” being panels from previous HE strips where you only saw Josh from the waste up where you can now see that the kiddo was running around his legs the entire time.
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nonbeliever93· 92 weeks ago

I want to see this so badly.
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Gretchen · 92 weeks ago

Oh, that would be amazingly hilarious!
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nenslo · 92 weeks ago

Hyper-specific, ultra-complicated rules for games made up on the spot? Has Kiddo been reading Calvin & Hobbes? Because that sounds like the guiding principle to Calvinball!

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

as probably any parent will attest, Watterson was “reading” kids.
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lou · 92 weeks ago

As a kid, Calvin & Hobbes was a HUGE influence on my young, sponge-like brain. Every Saturday or Sunday, my brother & I and whichever friends/neighbors available would try our hand at Calvinball. The only rule: make up your own rules. We used the books as guides on how to play, and bounce our own rules off those, but I can’t recall how many times I won.
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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

Kids are always saying stuff like that.”Become rage, Daddy! Become the cleansing fire! Bring forth the 100 tailed scorpion prince that will rule from beneath for one thousand years!”

You know. Kid stuff.

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Fren · 92 weeks ago

That was mostly my favorite part about raising kids.
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HikingViking · 92 weeks ago

So what you’re saying is that your daughter might have dabbled in Mesopotamian myths. Got it – very advanced for a six year old.
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psuedoname · 92 weeks ago

5 year old step daughter, playing in the conservatory, ask her what she is playing, says ‘bare club, thats where all the barbies go, where they can take their clothes off if they want, small boobies, large boobies, all are welcome’. Me and the wife were laughing for a good five minutes after that

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

Ashamed's avatar

Ashamed · 92 weeks ago

I’m trying real hard to like the new direction. Honestly, I am.But the honest truth is I come here for Geek jokes and references to other Geek stuff. Not to read about Joel’s personal life.

I’ll keep on struggling on for the time being. The the honest, ashamed truth is, it is becoming a struggle.

3 replies · active 92 weeks ago

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Shannon · 92 weeks ago

I understand where Ashamed is coming from, I think if I didn’t have a child I might even agree. But, ever since I had the sprog I find myself more drawn to parenting jokes. I think what humor we enjoy us based on where we are in life. I for one was getting bored of one-off geek jokes and am super excited that one of my favorite webcomics is growing and developing with me, rather than staying a stagnant reminder of what life was before the all consuming child.
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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

That’s basically where im coming from. I cant keep making the same jokes, or the same types of jokes over and over when my mind and my reality are focused elsewhere.
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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

if the worst that happens is you got 6 years of free entertainment on the subject matter than you liked, then you are certainly no worse for the ware. however, these first few strips are there to establish the new elements of the universe. it isn’t going to be parenting stuff all the time, just like it wasnt Doctor Who stuff all the time before. The bottom line is Im going to do what Ive always done, which is make the comics that I want to make. You are welcomed to come along for the ride at no cost, and you are welcomed to get off at any stop you like.
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Laura · 92 weeks ago

I’m enjoying (and I mean this completely sincerely) how their eyebrows have almost completely detached from their heads by the last panel. Like they’re separate entities, exiting the mothership.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

I really like drawing crazy floating eyebrows. I think I got that from FLCL (The only anime I have ever really enjoyed).
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Bill Murphy · 92 weeks ago

I love how you explained the sudden appearance of a daughter. Well done! 😀

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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Drew · 92 weeks ago

The lesson here for potential superheroes is, to quote Edna Mode, “No capes!”
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samldanach· 92 weeks ago

When my wife was a small child, she apparently straight up convinced the babysitter that she had a brother and a sister. But that her mother didn’t trust the sitter with the other children. The sitter confronted her mother about it. Hilarious!
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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

Or your kid has a ghost cat.
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Hotsauce · 92 weeks ago

Heh heh. New direction. Heh heh.

2 replies · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

took me a minute.
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Hotsauce · 92 weeks ago

Not gonna lie, I’ve been giggling like a four-year old for the last few days. But good on you for taking the plunge. I’ve been noticing similar changes in focus in a number of the long-running comics I follow. When you’ve been at it for a while you have to change what you’re doing; to do otherwise is to refuse to grow. But I think it’s brave to risk a change like this. A lot of people are afraid to do it, and have the Fonz jump his motorcycle over a shark tank instead.
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brigidkeely· 92 weeks ago

Yeah, this is really familiar. My 4 1/2 year old is really into dinosaurs, and BBC documentaries about dinosaurs, and he likes to enact dinosaur-documentary-type scenes (which he narrates. In Kenneth Branagh’s voice. we live in the USA so the English accent is extra hilarious.) and frequently asks us to play with him, but if we don’t do exactly what the script in his head says he gets angry and accuses us of messing with him “on purpose” (as opposed to accidentally messing with him?). He also sings/hums background music and has different music for feeding scenes, chasing scenes, attack scenes, etc and will yell at us if we don’t pick up on his music cues.
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gabepuratekuta· 92 weeks ago

And a true geek is born!
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Chelsea · 92 weeks ago

My niece is five and basically arranges the rules of any game – made-up or commercially available – around the one central, all-encompassing, grand master rule: she wins. One time, we were playing a match game with penguins and she decided that she gets extra turns every time. She couldn’t explain WHY, but it had to be so. It frustrates my husband, a devout board game geek, to no end. Every once in a while, he’ll either make her play the official rules or start making up his own to even the playing field. Neither choice ends well.
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Justplainsomething · 92 weeks ago

I don’t know if this counts as convoluted, but I used to put couch cushions at the bottom of the basement stairs (which were just concrete) and see how far up I could jump. I think I was about five then. The fact that I never broke any bones growing up is a goddamn miracle.
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evildan · 92 weeks ago

while babysitting my brother’s 6 year old, he had me playing “Zombies vs. Ninjas”. We, as the Ninjas, had to fight invisible Zombies. He waved vaguely at one part of the yard “this is my base”. at another part of the yard “this is your base”. So I asked him ” where is the Zombies base?” “the Zombies don’t have any base.” he replied. “then how do they drop the beat?” I asked. He looks at and with a deadpan voice said “just play the game.”
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Pandelon · 92 weeks ago

I hate to say this, but for a few moments I genuinely read “chicken-duck” as “chicken-dick”.
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Mathis Phoire · 92 weeks ago

My cousin and I used to play a variation of Don’t Touch the Lava (which I’m surprised no one has mentioned yet) called “Don’t Touch the Ground or You’re a Green Pig”Don’t ask me why or how we decided you would turn into moldy swine, nor why it was a bad thing because I don’t remember. Best bet is Dr. Seuss had something to do with it.

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Nightsbridge · 20 weeks ago

I liked the old direction and found it amusing, but I tend to like comics with more narrative drive more anyway, so I’m excited.