A Good First Impression

Concealed weapons laws? In Texas? Sorry, I momentarily forgot about the sign that welcomes you into our great state: “Welcome to Texas. Please help yourself to one of our complimentary assault rifles. Due to new state regulations, you may not enter Texas with more than 4oz of gay in your carry on bag.” And they SAY you can give them your extra gay and they’ll mail it back to you, but you KNOW they just sell it on eBay.

AUSTIN, TX FANCY BASTARDS! Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage is less than a month away! Details HERE!

When my Patreon reaches ~~$2000/month~~ $1750/month I’m going to release a new podcast where upon I interview my 7 years old daughter as she reads through the Harry Potter series. It’s called Potter And Daughter! More details HERE.

Calling all Whovians with holes in their ears! Just look at these Dalek earrings my wife made! They’re in her Etsy store and ready to EXTERMINATE your… lack of perfect ear jewelry?

Yoink

A real thing that really happened for real. My self preservation instincts told me to fling the tainted device across the room, but my iPhone preservation instincts superseded them, and I merely placed it back on the table then ran screaming directly into the ocean. I live among the fishes now. They’re always naked, but they don’t even have phones so it evens out.

Oh, and the thing about Smallville is true too. It’s been coming on in the wee hours just before I go to bed and I’ve been catching an episode here and there. It’s not nearly as infuriating as it was during the original run when I was always hoping it was going to go somewhere or Tom Welling was eventually going to learn how to emote.

They’re on season 10 (the final season), and it’s actually highly amusing to see just how “HOLY SHIT WE HAVE LIKE 11 EPISODES LEFT TO TURN THIS POTATO WITH HAIR INTO FUCKING SUPERMAN HOLY FUCK GIVE HIM SOME GLASSES, UMMMM MAKE HIM MOVE TO METROPOLIS OH CRAP OH CRAP 4 EPISODES LEFT, FUCK BRING BACK LEX LUTHOR AND WIPE HIS MEMORY AND A DIFFERENT CLONE OF LEX LUTHOR IS SUPERBOY NOW AND OLIVER AND CHOLE MOVE AWAY BECAUSE NO ONE’S EVER HEARD OF CHOLE AND THE GREE ARROW DOESN’T LIVE IN METROPOLIS AND JESUS SHIT WE KILLED JIMMMY OLSON CAN SOMEBODY GET ME A NEW JIMMY OLSON ANNNNNNNNNND HE’S FLYING,” the whole thing is.

AUSTIN, TX FANCY BASTARDS! Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage is less than a month away! Details HERE!

When my Patreon reaches ~~$2000/month~~ $1750/month I’m going to release a new podcast where upon I interview my 7 years old daughter as she reads through the Harry Potter series. It’s called Potter And Daughter! More details HERE.

Who, Pray Tell, Wouldst One Call Upon?

HEY YOU FANCY BASTARDS LOOK AT THIS OMG! My online store at Explosm is closing forever at the end of this week. Everything is on sale, so go get it while there is good getting to be got.

I’ve reshuffled my Patreon rewards so that the Potter and Daughter Podcast is unlocked at $1750 instead of $2000. We’ve already recorded 4 or 5 episodes and I’m anxious to get it out in the world.

When my Patreon reaches ~~$2000/month~~ $1750/month I’m going to release a new podcast where upon I interview my 7 years old daughter as she reads through the Harry Potter series. It’s called Potter And Daughter! More details HERE.

Of course we all know the proper title of the theme song to the popular film The Ghostbusting Gentlemen is “Who, Pray Tell, Wouldst One Call Upon? (Were One So Inclined).” Apologies for the use of brevity, despite it’s status as the soul of wit.

This comic closely reflects an actual conversation I had with a turtle-clad neighborhood ninja-child while trick and/or treating (heavy emphasis on the treat part). I explained what they do with the ghosts, to which he replied, “That doesn’t make any sense.” Of course it does. A spectral containment system utilizing a grid of intersecting, high power lasers makes perfect sense. So does a pan-dimensional gateway through which specters, apparitions, vapors and various phantasms are deposited and incarcerated. Ectoplasm doesn’t have mass, therefore the size of the rip in spacetime required to access the adjacent dimension could be infinitesimally small, thus requiring far less power than generating a gateway large enough to pass, say, a hot dog, a human or even a bunch of hot dogs! It makes all the god damn sense in the world, you booger eater.

Reasonable Restriction

Last year for Halloween, Kiddo was Raven from Teen Titans. We made a photo comic about it. This year she was Hermione Granger and it was crazy cute.

Speaking of Harry Potter, I’ve reshuffled my Patreon rewards so that the Potter and Daughter Podcast is unlocked at $1750 instead of $2000. We’ve already recorded 4 or 5 episodes and I’m anxious to get it out in the world.

When my Patreon reaches ~~$2000/month~~ $1750/month I’m going to release a new podcast where upon I interview my 7 years old daughter as she reads through the Harry Potter series. It’s called Potter And Daughter! More details HERE.

I’ve also made some other changes to my Patreon rewards to make them a little more realistic and fair to those of you who are pledging. To date, I have failed miserably at making more than 3 comics a week. Even though we passed the 4 comics a week goal months ago, I’ve never managed to do it with any reliability. Just thinking about this stresses me out to the point that I can barely get 3 comics made. So I’ve moved that goal further down the line and replaced it with the “Redesign the website with bigger comics and better features” goal, which means the website redesign is automatically unlocked.

I’m really looking forward to this one, because the comics will be bigger, the layout with nicer, the comic navigation will be easier, and the different types of comics will be much simpler to find. I’m also going to reintegrate the old HE podcast into this website, and make a space for future podcasts like Potter And Daughter. I will also be revamping the patron-only RSS feed to show full sized comics even when it’s a non HijiNKS ENSUE comic (like a convention sketch or a Faneurysm comic).

Totally Unprovoked

In my home, I am beset on all sides but fuzzy dumbasses. Tivo, the brown and grey one, is a miserable, whiny grump whose terrified of essentially all things. He also doesn’t like to be touched below the waste. He SPECIFICALLY doesn’t like to be touched at the base of the tail. Naturally, I find great amusement in poking that spot like a sort of “whine button” whenever he’s getting on my nerves. The first few pokes elicit a whimper, the second few get an angry whine and a “why aren’t you dead yet?” glare, and with the last couple of pokes you just get blood. Just an impossibly fast, brownish-greyish swipey blur and blood.

Tivo has injured me from time to time for no reason. Either because he is terrified of a shoe, or a box, or a shoe near a box or some other harmless juxtaposition of items he assumes I have arranged just so to cause him distress. Like I said: fuzzy dumbasses. These are the injuries I get angry about. But the tail poking injuries… I really can’t get upset with the cat for these. I am specifically provoking him and walking on the goddamn razors edge. GOD, I FEEL SO ALIVE! Wait, no. I mean foolish. So bloody and foolish.

When my Patreon reaches $2000/month I’m going to release a new podcast where upon I interview my 7 years old daughter as she reads through the Harry Potter series. It’s called Potter And Daughter! More details HERE.

Replay (the white and grey fuzzied dumbness depicted above) is less likely to cause a human, even a human provocateur, actual harm. He knows how to “play bite” where as Tivo only knows “do no stop until teeth touch bone.” Where as Tivo’s fight or flight response is set so far to “fight” that the knob is broken off, Replay’s is set to “find a happy place in your mind and go there. GO THERE AND NEVER LOOK BACK!” When he wanders around the house screaming at full volume, despite having a full bowl of food, a clean litter box, no desire to go outside and every possible comfort a fuzzy dumbass could ever desire, I find myself inclined to do the one thing he hates more than anything: turning him upside down and carrying him around like a baby. When I do this, he doesn’t actually attack me. His eyes sort of gloss over and he gets this look on his face that seems to say, “If I had a secret poison filled compartment in my tooth, I would be opening it right now.” But, he does stop screaming. So score one for the humans, I guess.