Jesse Katsopolis And The Spiders From Mars

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

STORE NEWS: The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is closed for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] In the meantime you can still get shirts from Sharksplode and HE Book 2 from this very site.

INTERVIEWS: I did a really fun interview with Lauren Davis for Gamma Squad, and the full audio of my interview with ABC Australia’s Nerdzilla Podcast is HERE.

[Posted 6/23/11 ] I’m still a few comics behind. Thanks for your patience.

Alternate Title: HAVE MERCY! [on the human race]
So just to be clear, Josh is going to giving TNT’s new alien invasion aftermath sci-fi series Falling Skies a shot when it features a crossover with popular Lady Cop Black Mamabazo drama Rizzoli and Isles [also my favorite dish at The Olive Garden besides those fettuccine steak medallions], but only if it stars greek Gleek god John Stamos? Maybe if it gets a season two.

I watched the first two hours of Falling Skies last week. Most of the ground they covered in the pilot is well trodden. Aliens invade, presumably for Earth’s resources, wipe out 90% of the population and, much like the last 10 pounds of a diet, can’t seem to shake that last 10% of humanity from their new pre-owned planet. A resistance is formed and tries to strike some kind of balance between “run and hide” and “fight back a little.” I can tell this series is going to be a slow burn, so I am going to reserve judgement for at least a few more weeks.

Two things about the show that I didn’t really care for are 1) Noah Wyle, who never seems to show any emotion or charisma at any point during the pilot, and 2) The fact that the invasion which killed nearly everyone happened just 6 or 7 months ago and the remaining humans seem pretty well adjusted. I would expect there to just be clumps of people sobbing until they die of a lethal combination of dehydration and sadness. A couple of things that stuck out as neat are the idea that the aliens sent a massive EMP upon arrival so the survivors have no access to grid electricity, computers, radios, electronics of any kind or cars made after 1987. I like this plot device because it creates a need for ingenuity but I feel like it could become a burden on the show’s writers. [SEMI SPOILERY COMMENT IN THE NEXT SENTENCE] The pilot also alludes at least 3 times to the fact that the aliens may not be aliens at all, but some kind of precursor or descendent of humanity. I won’t be surprised if the big mystery is that the “aliens” are just returning home to see how their ant farm is doing. [END SPOILERS]

Over all I give it a B+ and sugest the sci-fi fans among you give it a chance.

Side note: When Internet was still young, and all this you see before you was just corn fields, I had a brief email exchange with Dave Coulier. He was gracious and kind and it was the first time in my life (that I can remember) when the Internet allowed me to have a one on one communication with a person I had idolized as a child who would have been otherwise completely inaccessible. For those interested, he used to run a “Caption This” photo contest on his website, and one week my submission was the winner. He emailed to let me know he enjoyed the caption and I emailed back thanking him for all he’d done to expose people like to to the world of stand up comedy.

COMMENTERS: Did you see Falling Skies? What did you think?

The Importance Of Seeing Ernest

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

STORE NEWS: The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is closed for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] In the meantime you can still get shirts from Sharksplode and HE Book 2 from this very site.

[Posted 6/22/11 ] I’m still a few comics behind. Thanks for your patience.

This comic is part true story, and part half-imagined night terror. Seriously, this comic is like when you first wake up and try to remember your dream. The ideas are there but you can feel them slipping away by the second. Is… is that your father? No… it’s Mr. T, but he is SUPPOSED to be your father. Well, that’s what writing it was like, at least. I’ve read it at least a dozen times and I can’t come up with a decent explanation for the sheer level of unsheathed bizzarre let loose in its panels. Did they somehow weaponize an airborne version of Four Loko? Am I  “Wide Awake Drunk [TM]” and comicing? Am I currently in a Navajo sweat lodge, purifying my soul with peyote as this comic is whispered to me by the King Of All Raccoons? Was it something as pedestrian as lack of sleep? Nah, it’s probably the magic raccoon thing.

The nugget of honesty is this unwinding tapestry of madness comes from the fact that I wanted to watch Return of the Living Dead III at my birthday party (it’s FANTASTICALLY terrible) and Josh couldn’t find it on his super secret, private, special space cadet decoder ring bit torrent site. He also refused to download it from a public torrent because he’s so above that and better than the rest of us. I’ve probably gotten him in trouble with Anonymous of Lulzsec or whoever just by mentioning that such a site even exists. Oh well.

As to why I had the Ernest movies on the brainparts, I cannot discern. Again, I’m looking to the Raccoon King for answers, but all I’m getting are scraps of river-washed apple spit at me and tiny, deep claw wounds on my face.

COMMENTERS: I challenge you to 1) Come up with the Ernest movies of the last 10 years that Jim Varney never got to make and/or 2) Put Ernest in other classic movies. For instance Schindler’s List becomes Ernest Goes to Concentration Camp. Roots becomes Ernest Slaves Christmas. Wow, those were both really offensive. That just sort of happened. Sorry.

Green And Yellow, Black and White

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

STORE NEWS: The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is closed for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] In the meantime you can still get shirts from Sharksplode and HE Book 2 from this very site.

[Posted 6/21/11 ] This weekend we finally celebrated my 30th birthday, so I am a bit behind on comics. I will let you interperet how those two things are related in whichever way you choose. Thank you to my friends that helped me celebrate and especially to Josh IRL and Jeff for hosting the whole thing and for their tremendous generosity.

So I guess Green Lantern is pretty terrible, huh? Oh well. At least Hal Jordan has a new pal he can trust forever. I wonder what Sinestro means on his planet. I’m sure it’s something totally innocuous like “wisdom,” “truthful” or a abstract term that translate loosely into English as “the color of blood in the moonlight from a neck slit by the knife of a former friend.”

Commenters: Feel free to post your GL movie thoughts. I feel like anyone that REALLY wants to see this movie already has, so let fly the spoilers of war.

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

ONLY TWO DAYS LEFT!!! The HijiNKS ENSUE Store will be shutting down for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] If there is a shirt you want, and you DON’T WANT to wait until sometime after San Diego Comicon, you should probably buy it now. This week will be your last chance for a at least a few weeks. Please check out this blog post to see which designs won’t be coming back, in case you want one of those.

CONVENTION NEWS: I will be at San Diego Comicon at the Blind Ferret Booth with Least I Could Do, Looking For Group, GuttersGirls With Slingshots and possibly more. It’s going to be a blast and a frakking half.

I can say with certainty that, while I do not share an enthusiasm for any organized sporting contest, I can understand fully why many (most) people do. There’s camaraderie, civic pride, a perceived communal goal, competition, statistics to geek out over, rivalries, drama, etc, etc. The part of “sports enthusiasm” that I can’t even begin to relate to on even the most basic level is the mentality of the vast minority of sports fans where in a particular game doesn’t result in their chosen team winning, and they decide the only way to express their disappointment is to set shit on fire, assault people and destroy public and private property. Not to mention proving to any hyper-advanced alien races who may be watching us that, yes, we are all a bunch of beastly fuck ups, and you should probably go ahead and lazer-doze our stupid planet to make way for your intergalactic throughway.

Seriously, if all it takes to devolve a random group of previous reasonable people into god damn rage monkeys is a little alcohol and some sad hockey times, then we don’t deserve nice things like societies and civilization. “MY SPORTS WAS BAD! I NEED TO HURT THINGS AND PEOPLE!” just isn’t acceptable. I know this seems odd, but this kind of behavior scares me more for the future of the human race than war. There’s something incredibly sinister and terrifying about the snap change from “I’m a regular guy, hanging out at a hockey game. I have a job, and an apartment and I’m in a long term relationship” to “I bet this car should be on fire and then things will be better. How about a brick to this guy’s head? Yeah, this is an excellent way for me to behave, and afterwards there will be no negative repercussions.” That borders on sociopathy. So does littering (I’m quite serious), but that’s a different argument all together.

Many of the riotous fuckwits were photographed and videoed by onlookers and uploaded to this tumblr. Here’s hoping they are identified and held responsible for their crimes. That reminds me of the cell phone surveillance system in The Dark Knight, except we don’t need Bruce Wayne to build it for us. We’re already doing it ourselves. The next time you plan to throw a flaming trashcan through a local business window, keep in mind that nearly everyone around you has an HD video camera in their pocket.

At least this deplorable display of inhumanity allowed an opportunity for others to step up and show some real selflessness and kindness. My friend Amy posted this on Twitter today:

I’m not from Vancouver, but I’ve gotten to know the city and its people pretty well. They’re AWESOME. Last night was an aberration. What you won’t hear about is how thousands of residents volunteered their time today to clean up the city after a few drunks got outta hand. RT @LizTheCanadian Here’s a gallery on Facebook of the volunteers cleaning up today http://on.fb.me/ionVCR

Commenters: What the fuck is going on? Are we just god damned savages? How are we ever going to get into The Federation like this?

Porta-John Smith

UPDATE 9/23/13: This comic is now a shirt over at Sharksplode! 

sharksplode-t-shirt-porta-john-smith-1

STORE NEWS! The HijiNKS ENSUE Store will be shutting down for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] If there is a shirt you want, and you DON’T WANT to wait until sometime after San Diego Comicon, you should probably buy it now. This week will be your last chance for a at least a few weeks. Please check out this blog post to see which designs won’t be coming back, in case you want one of those.

CONVENTION NEWS: I will be at San Diego Comicon at the Blind Ferret Booth with Least I Could Do, Looking For Group, GuttersGirls With Slingshots and possibly more. It’s going to be a blast and a frakking half.

I had this idea back in Phoenix while having dinner at this neat little Neapolitan Pizza place with some friends. About halfway through drawing it, I did a quick google and saw that Jon Rosenberg had already touched on the idea of a PorTARDIS-John with “Doctor Whoah” in Scenes From A Multiverse. Oh well. I guess it’s a pretty obvious comparison for two guys that think allot about science fiction and poop jokes. His comic is great. Go read it.

Commenters: GOD DAMNIT NO NEW SEASON OF DOCTOR WHO UNTIL 2012?!?!

BEST THING EVER: My good friend Lar “Poned” me. I have never been so happy or honored in all my stupid life. [click to embiggen]