The Cranksport ‘Em Up

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this Three Wheaton Moon shirt. You can buy it! Then you can wear it! Only two steps to total geeky happiness? Sign me up!

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Those of you that follow me on Twitter saw this comic get written in real time earlier tonight as I watched the trailer for Killer Elite. I like that “Jason Statham Movie” is a genre unto itself now. I imagine some Hollywood producer saying, “We should really make a Jason Statham movie this summer. But who should we get to star in it?”

Commenters: Using the formula illustrated in the panels above, please pitch your own Statham/Owen movie. Points will be awarded for escalating absurdity.

HEY LOOK!: You asked for it, so I added a “Winter Is Coming” desktop to The Vault. I’ve also added “Chibi Wolverine” and “Three Wheaton Moon” desktops as well. Just make a donation of any amount, or sign up for a recurring donation subscription and you’ll get access. I’ve also added mobile versions of these desktops HERE.

 

Houston, We Have Plausible Deniability

THE HIJINKS ENSUE STORE IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BUY STUFF!!!

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While waiting for a show to start at C2E2 in Chicago this year, I saw the trailer for Apollo 18 at least a dozen times. Every single time I thought it was for Transformers: Turn Off The Moon (In Space No One Can Hear You Yawn) – Moonraker: The Long Dark Teatime Of The Soul. Hollywood is obsessed with NASA accidentally leaving stuff on the moon and not telling people about it.

ANOTHER THING: “Winter Is Coming” shirts are being printed now and will be in the store soon.

COMMENTERS: Did you see Apollo 18 this weekend? Any good? Not going to see it? Why? For me it’s a “wait for rental” type of situation.

Of Popped Collars and Pinstripes

THE HIJINKS ENSUE STORE IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BUY STUFF!!!

Funny T-Shirts, Geeky shirts, Doctor who parody shirts, Team Edward James Olmos shirt, Groverfield Shirt, Sci-Five Star Trek Parody T-Shirt in The HijiNKS ENSUE Store

I’m not that into DC comics proper these days. Their movies, cartoons, etc certainly have my attention, but floppy, paper comic-wise I’m pretty out of the loop. From an outsider perspective the whole reboot/relaunch seems like a drastic grab for attention and money, which I in-no-way fault DC for. They need both desperately, and they certainly should do what they need to in order to hold on to their audience in a dying industry for a few more years while they figure out the next steps (though I doubt they are anywhere near close to figuring such steps out).

On the other hand, it seems like a much-needed course correction for an insanely complicated and convoluted continuity that has been running out of control for over 40 years. Perhaps a 9 year old kid that starts reading DC comics today will find this new unified universe MUCH easier to grok than I did coming into it in the early 90’s. I wish DC all the best, and I hope this stunt brings more mainstream media attention to comics in general, but I suspect they are only delaying the inevitable. What are comic books, if not little monthly newspapers about aliens and robots (and sometimes alien robots… I’m looking at YOU BRAINIAC, you big jerk.)

Sidenote: From an artist’s perspective, the new costumes take WAY LONGER to draw.

COMMENTERS: Did you pick up any of the new 52 #1 titles? What do you think? Those that didn’t, what do you think of the DC relaunch in general (Zod)?

The Consummate Tweaker

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I’m not even mad at George Lucas any more. He’s successfully divorced me from all personal ownership or warm feelings I had towards Star Wars and turned the franchise into this weird, abstract pop-culture punchline. No other film or series of films have managed to remain in a constant state of flux like Star Wars has. Lucas should just append the word “beta” at the end of each title. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back v. 4.38 beta. Fuck, maybe we’re still in the alpha releases and our grandkids will be the first to run a stable Star Wars build. Either way, I’ve quit my job as a beta tester. I’m bored with having my fandom experimented on.

I hope, just for giggles, Lucas replaces Yoda’s voice with the sound of air escaping a ballon, and replaces every instance of Kiera Knightley/Amidala with Natalie Portman/Amidala and vice versa. You know, just to do it. Maybe by the time the whole series is released on holographic suppository, he’ll have done the fans a favor and digitally added a thousand sand-piranha that are constantly eating Jar Jar’s flesh in every scene.

UPDATE:

 

 

Accepting WHO I Am

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I’ve felt this change coming for a long time and “Let’s Kill Hitler” finally pushed me over the edge. Matt Smith is my favorite Doctor. It’s not JUST him, it’s the whole show really. I guess I should rephrase and say “Matt Smith’s episodes are my favorite Doctor Who episodes.” It’s the writing, the look of the show (it some how seems more expensive… better lighting? Better cameras?), the companions (Rory and Amy are amazing but RIVER… dear god, River. What a fascinating character arc.), the chances they are taking with the story, the stakes they just keep raising, the departure from the typical “A) Go to a planet B) Fix a problem” formula… the whole show is just orders of magnitude more captivating that it’s ever been. That’s a considerable achievement when you take into account how much I enjoyed Tennant’s run.

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I feel like the last two seasons of Doctor Who are proof that you can make satisfying, complicated genre fiction on TV IF YOU HAVE A PLAN. And if Steven Moffat DOESN’T have a plan, then he’s the best bullshitter on the planet. All of the little loose threads just keep weaving themselves back into the main story. It’s never boring, it’s never hack. It’s just purely entertaining, cohesive and rewarding story telling.

COMMENTERS: Come on! Who’s with me on this? Matt’s the best, right? Ok, so who‘s YOUR favorite doctor?

WARNING!!! THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR “Let’s Kill Hitler” IN THE COMMENTS.