Civilian Casualties

I’m not saying this happened to me at the barber shop a few days ago, but I’m not NOT saying that this is EXACTLY what happened to me when my barber asked me if I was watching Gotham and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

I often forget that most people just watch TV instead of CONSTANTLY and RELENTLESSLY SCRUTINIZING and ANALYZING it. I also forget that many people (probably most people) aren’t super passionate about the things they talk about. Most people just talk to make sure the sound making parts in their head regions still function. It’s an involuntary act, like breathing or how your left eyelid twitches constantly (everyone has that, right?).

When normal humans ask you a question like, “Do you like that TV show?” the absolute most they are expecting in return is, “Yeah, it’s pretty good. The star is attractive and I like how it’s provides about 43 minutes a week that I’m not alone with my dark thoughts.” I forget that I intentionally surround myself with people who have both nuanced, informed opinions on the things they enjoy AND expertise in that subject. What I’m basically saying is I guess I’m an elitist prick, I think my friends are cooler than regular people, I think most people are classified as REGULAR PEOPLE (which is a monstrous thing to think in the first place) and the thought of having “small talk” with a “regular person” makes me want to feed a stray cat to an ATM.

HEY SHIRT WANTERS: I’ll be posting holiday shipping deadlines over at my store soon. If you want something before, let’s say, around the last week of December, you should probably order it now.

Want to help me bring back the HijiNKS ENSUE Podcast?! Or at least a NEW PODCAST called HijiNKS ENSUE?! Then my Patreon is THE PLACE for you. My next goal is to relaunch my podcast and updated weekly. Go on and help out if you can. Thanks!

Morbidity And Mentality

Playing with a new art style today. Hope you enjoy it.

Want to help me bring back the HijiNKS ENSUE Podcast?! Or at least a NEW PODCAST called HijiNKS ENSUE?! Then my Patreon is THE PLACE for you. My next goal is to relaunch my podcast and updated weekly. Go on and help out if you can. Thanks!

Back In The Saddle

I just got back from taking my family on vacation and, as it turns out, they just kept putting stuff on the Internet the whole time I was gone. I assumed it’d be a “pause everything until I get back” sort of situation. I still haven’t entirely crawled out of my unread Internet hole. Only one of my eyes is bleeding, so that’s a good sign.

I posted a ton of pictures from the trip on my Instagram, if you are so inclined.

I’ll be posting holiday shipping deadlines over at my store soon. If you want something before, let’s say, around the last week of December, you should probably order it now.

Do you want support me making comics full time?! Then my Patreon is THE PLACE for you. Every little bit helps me continue to make a living, and is QUITE appreciated.

Brand New Bag

I pitched two ideas for my guest comic over at Cyanide & Happiness. This is the one they rejected.

If you’re under 30, you probably have no idea that for SEVERAL DECADES before you were born it was considered perfectly acceptable to wear a plastic mask of your favorite cartoon character, along with a trash bag (ACTUALLY A LITERAL TRASH BAG) featuring a full body picture of the same character as your Halloween costume. Not only was this considered acceptable Halloween attire for children, but it was an accepted business practice for companies to offer these “costumes” as their “best effort” in exchange for “actual money.”

Do you want A TON of bonus, extra and alternate comics?! Then my Patreon is THE PLACE for you. Every little bit helps me continue to make a living, and is QUITE appreciated.

Now I walk through the costume aisles of Wal-Mart and Target and kid’s costumes have achieved near Hollywood levels of production value. There are muscle suits, led lights, articulated armor, sound FX… it’s only a matter of time before children go door to door wearing green body suits, and handing out augmented reality goggles that make the candy-giver see them as a 70 foot tall full CG dragon. Dad will stand to the side with a flame thrower and torch the neighbors bushes for increased special FX.

I wasn’t allowed to celebrate Halloween. We had the fundamentalist Christian alternative: HARVEST FESTIVAL. It’s EXACTLY like Halloween except you don’t get to Trick Or Treat and all the costumes are either animals, cowboys or Bible characters. I had a basic costume rotation each year of monkey, cowboy and… let’s say Noah. In retrospect I was just dressed like a modern day Muslim, but I had a burlap sack over my tunic. The 80’s were weird. One year I got a real screen quality ALF costume. It was my favorite thing ever and simultaneously the worst costume I ever had. The shag carpet full body suit made it 800 degrees and itched all to hell and the fur and latex mask was like a tight, rubbery panic prison for my face.

My wife and I enjoy helping our kid have a unique Halloween experience. She’s been Princess Leia, Boo from Monster’s Inc., a Backyardigan, Jessie from Toy Story, A Ghost, a Witch, Raven from Teen Titans (complete with a narrative adventure) and Hermione Granger. This year she’s going to be Amethyst from Steven Universe. I’ll post pics of that one after it’s all assembled.

UPDATE: Here’s a Tumblr post with all the Kiddo costumes so far.

Blacktually

Holy fuck, what a week.
Monday: Driving across Texas
Tuesday: Broken Computer
Wednesday: Broken Website
Thursday: Broken Car
Friday: Broken Spirits

Any who, I’m back in the comics saddle (the most supple of saddles) for a week, then I’m taking my wife and child on our first (and likely last) real family vacation for a different and subsequent week. Please do not wreck the place while I am gone. The liquor cabinet is locked, but the key is on top of the refrigerator. Help yourself, but leave some for Santa (if you know what I mean… I mean I am Santa and don’t drink all my fightin’ water and funny juice).

Do you want A TON of bonus, extra and alternate comics?! Then my Patreon is THE PLACE for you. Every little bit helps me continue to make a living, and is QUITE appreciated.

I did a big ol’ spooky guest comic over at Cyanide & Happiness yesterday. Go read it.