I’m Going To See “The Clone Wars” Ziro Times

It’s hard to call George Lucas a racist or a bigot becuase I get the impression he really has no idea what he’s doing. Remember those interviews a few years ago with Michael Jackson where you really started to believe that he had NO IDEA that he was, in fact, a pedophile? I feel the same way about G.L. He seems completely oblivious to the effect his meddling has had on his once beloved franchise.

This guy practically had Jar Jar dancing a soft shoe, and singing “Mammy” in black face. He’s completely gone. I guarantee you he has some bullshit philosophy that “it’s not even the same galaxy, so Earth’s racial and sexual stereotypes have no relevance. Anyway let’s get ready to shoot the cross burning on Tatooine.”

So now he’s made the first flaming Hutt (that has to be a drink at the Mos Eisley Cantina). Again, I assume he has no idea what he’s done. The conversation went like this:

GL: “Guys, for Jabba’s Uncle Ziro, I want him to be purple, wear make up, have feathers in his hair, be very effeminate and for good measure let’s give him the distinctive voice of a famous homosexual author.”

Guys: “Isn’t that… going to offend gays?”

GL: “This is a long time ago in a galaxy far away! Why do I have to tell you this every day?! There is no predjudice against space-gays in the Star Wars Universe. IT’S NOT CANON! IT’S NOT CANON! IT’S NOT CANON! IT’S NOT CANON! IT’S NOT CANON! IT’S NOT CANON!”

Then he stomps a whole in the ground and turns to stone.

When I saw Gendy Tartakovsky’s animated “Clone Wars” on Cartoon Network, I was convinced that it was a positive turning point for Star Wars. The stylized animation was distinct and likable, the voice acting was, at times, excellent and the stories the series told were compelling. Mace Windu took out an entire droid army by himself. It was awesome.

When I found out they were remaking the series as a CGI movie (with a new tv series to follow) I groaned that same “Lucas can’t leave well enough alone” groan I’ve been groaning for years.

Sure enough, the reviews are confirming my fears. Many of you will say, “I don’t read reviews. I see the movie and decide for myself.” Be my guest.