The Perils Of Being Typecast


Thanks to Fancy Bastard @martintsang for suggesting “Air Bud” as the worst sappy bullshit family-style movie ever. All joking aside, “Watchmen’s” Jackie Earle Haley will probably make a terrific Freddy Krueger. I’m pretty sure that dude can already control your nightmares so they should save a ton on special effects.

Sorry for the super-late comic. Real life gets in the way of delicious internets some times.

Thanks to all the FB’s who kept me company on Ustream while I made this comic. Follow me on Twitter if you want to be alerted when things like that happen in the future.

Commenters: How about we recast more classic horror movies with current celebs? That sounds like a thing to do, doesn’t it? For bonus points, pick a family movie (a la “Air Bud”) and rescript it as a horror film. Beethoven = Kujo is the obvious first choice.

ALSO: Check out Kalan Vazquez is a Fancy Bastard running his own version of “The Experiment” but with independent game development instead of comics/music. I wish him all the success in the world (but slightly less than I wish for myself…).


Novelty Cake Toppers


COMIC SCHEDULE FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS: Comics this week will be Tuesday and Thursday. Guest comics will run next week while I get everything in order for New England Webcomics Weekend.

I got a chance to meet Danielle Corsetto at STAPLE this weekend in Austin, TX. All of the girls in this comic are from her most EXCELLENT comic “Girls With Slingshots.” I highly recommend it. STAPLE seemed like a fun, non-threatening con, and based on Danielle’s endorsement I think I will exhibit there next year.

I was visiting family in Austin, but my wife and I managed to sneak away and finally see “Watchmen.” There was WAY more dong than I expected, but I thought it was tastefully done. Floppity, yet tasteful. I am waiting for someone on YourTubes to put out the “ALL DONG” special edit of the film.

I really enjoyed the movie. It was slow at times, but it seemed appropriate. The story and characters carried a lot of weight and it would have seemed phony if they sped through the narrative. I’m anxious to read the comic now and see what I think after taking it all in. I got the feeling from the movie that I knew where the “comic issues” began and ended. The tension seemed to rise and fall about 12 times during the film. Did I mention the dong? There was a lot of it.


Dr. Manhattan And The Electric Mayhem


Watchmen comes out a week from today, mother bitches! I actually haven’t read any of the reviews. I really want to go into this movie with a completely objective view. I will be visiting family on March 6th, so I won’t be able to attend the premiere with the HE crew, but I will try to see it on opening day. They usually go to the super fun midnight showings that us procreators aren’t allowed to attend, so it wouldn’t have worked out any way.

What are your premiere plans? Are you reading the early reviews? Are you worried it might suck? Get your ass to the comments!

I should note that the “Josh Dies” tag was applied to this comic because in the probable panel 5 Josh kills himself.  A life without junk is no life at all.


…Like It’s 10 Years After 1999


I am actually late for Eli’s New Year’s party, so I will have to update this post in the new year. After my fridge exploded today (true story) I was just glad to get the comic posted before 2009.


Post your New Years plans or best/worst New Years stories in the comments. Be safe, be happy, have fun and kiss someone REALLY HARD!

(Anyone that makes real Josh Juice, drinks it AND can prove it gets a prize.)


Who Snooches The Noochmen?


I’m making it my mission to infiltrate this underground ring of original creator-made comic book smut. I’ll first set my sites on Joss Whedon and work my way to Warren Ellis.

Let me separate comic Joel from real life Joel for a minute and state that I am VERY enthusiastic about “Watchmen” movie and I’m sure it will kick all sorts of kickassery. It just makes for better funny-ha-ha in the comic when I hate everything Josh and Eli love. I want to be clear that I am not actually like this. I REALLY only hate everything Josh loves. Big difference.

All that said, Kevin Smith is probably not the person you want to hinge your “should I see Watchmen” decision on. I’m sure the guy running the screening had to ask Mr. Smith to pull his pants up several times during the film. Hell, if it IS 3 hours long you might need to rub one out just to make it through the whole thing.

In case you aren’t keeping up with Fox’s lawsuit to stop the March ’09 release of “Watchmen” (remember, FOX must destroy happiness wherever it finds it in order to satiate Rupert Murdoch’s nearly unquenchable thirst for geek sorrow) here are a few links to get you up to speed:

Make no mistake that FOX has no intention of actually preventing “Watchmen” from being released. They just want a taste of that sweet sweet cash candy that the film is certain to generate. FOX is just exercising their legal right to soullessness.

Regarding the lack of a Monday comic due to my shoulder/neck/back injury: I can’t promise anything yet, but I am going to try to do 2 more comics this week to make up for it. That’s either means new HE’s on Thurday and Friday or Friday and Saturday.

Regarding the 3 panel layout in today’s comic: I was trying something new but I actually found it pretty limiting space-wise. It forced me to make some script and graphic decisions I wasn’t happy with, so don’t expect to see too much of it in the future.