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Calgary Expo 2013 Fancy Sketches

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I have returned from North of The Wall with a bag full of Canadian “money.” While I recharge my batteries, please to enjoy a few of the fancy sketches I did for the Calgarian Fancy Bastards.

Intense thanks to Keith for hosting me this weekend, driving me around Calgary and being a generally awesome dude. Additional thanks to the Blind Ferret crew for being my convention home base and taking care of business (every day/every way). Even further thanks to David and Wil for three straight nights of beer-fueled bro-down hangouts.

Now If you’ll excuse me, I need to go exchange all this ridiculous pastel, plastic currency for something I can actually spend. CANADIAN MONEY TRIVIA: All Canadian bills feature photos of actors who portrayed The Doctor in the classic Doctor Who series’ (Sylvester McCoy is on the $10), except for the $20 which features Hellen Mirren.

COMMENTERS: Speaking of The Sarlacc, which minor Star Wars character (from any movie, book or game) do you hope gets a starring role in the new Disney regime and why? If you say Jaxxon, I’m going to reunify all the little bits of Alderaan just so I can punch it to death again.

Comments (38)

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Skintick's avatar

Skintick · 111 weeks ago

I honestly wouldn’t mind seeing a full length feature on Jabba when he was younger (supposedly a bad-ass), Rogue Squadron, or maybe Boba Fett and that is only because the game was pretty cool.
nenslo's avatar

nenslo · 111 weeks ago

The gunner who let go the escape pod with R2D2 & C3PO inside. I always wondered if he was aware afterwards that he alone possessed the power to destroy the rebel alliance and the Light side of the force…
Blarrgl's avatar

Blarrgl · 111 weeks ago

R5-D4 needs a proper, that is to say canon, day in the sun.
lou's avatar

lou · 111 weeks ago

I’m sure there’s plenty of magic superheroes who act like stage magicians. Take Zatanna, who IS a stage magician in her day job, when she’s not rollin’ with John Constantine and Justice League Dark.
Stage magician superhero?
After “The Incredible Hulk”, Bill Bixby did play (kinda) one in the obviously titled “The Magician”…

“You wouldn’t like me when I’m… PRESTO!!!”

Ali's avatar

Ali · 111 weeks ago

Prince Xizor.
gratch's avatar

gratch · 111 weeks ago

It’s a little known fact that the design of Canadian money is based entirely around drinking. We color coded our money so that no matter how drunk you are you can still pay and receive change for your beer. Just hand the nice person behind the bar a purple bill and they’ll give you back a blue one and some coins. Frankly, I’ve always felt sorry for you Americans actually having to look at the numbers.

1 reply · active 111 weeks ago

jiynx's avatar

jiynx · 111 weeks ago

we went ahead and developed these things called ‘credit cards’ and their successor design ‘debit cards’, which function as an electronic key-signature authorizing transfers of money from bank to vendor.

you don’t even need to carry any coins or bills around, either.

ToxicBlade's avatar

ToxicBlade · 111 weeks ago

Dash Rendar

1 reply · active 111 weeks ago

ToxicBlade's avatar

ToxicBlade · 111 weeks ago

because that game was awesome back in the day
lou's avatar

lou · 111 weeks ago

When the alt text said “road trip through the Dune Sea”, I thought of a STAR WARS version of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I suppose Han Solo and Chewie acted like that in their early smuggling days.

1 reply · active 110 weeks ago

tom327cat's avatar

tom327cat · 110 weeks ago

Chewie took over piloting the falcon. I didn’t tell him about the mynocs. He would find out soon enough, poor bastard.
 Stephen's avatar

Stephen · 111 weeks ago

Fett & Sarlaac: We’re off on the Road to Mos Eisley!
Sarlaac: Your jetpack is chafing my hide! (Fett: Tell me about it)
Sarlaac: Whatever heroes we may face we haven’t any fear.
Fett: Sarlaac will digest them for the next one thousand years!
Fett & Sarlaac: We certainly do get arou-ou-ound!
Fett & Sarlaac: Like Luke and Ben Kenobi, we’re Mos Eisley bound!

1 reply · active 110 weeks ago

lou's avatar

lou · 110 weeks ago

Damn that catchy tune!
HikingViking's avatar

HikingViking · 111 weeks ago

I’d like to see Abrams focus the whole movie on a small group of Imperial Guards who go on a revenge mission to take out high-ranking rebels responsible for blowing up the Death Star. Kind of like Munich, in space.

2 replies · active 110 weeks ago

xero's avatar

xero · 111 weeks ago

wouldn’t that be more Valkyrie in space since they would fail
lou's avatar

lou · 110 weeks ago

“Valkyrie in Space” would be more like a cadre of Imperial Officers plotting to overthrow the Emperor and Vader, which has happened at least couple times in the EU.
Jay29's avatar

Jay29 · 111 weeks ago

What’s a “site gag?”

1 reply · active 111 weeks ago

It’s like a pedantic asshole comment, but different.
Admiral Piett. He started as Captain and one strangled Admiral and BAMMO promotion!

Wedge would be cool also and perhaps the son of Porkins, Porky.

Paul Turnbull's avatar

Paul Turnbull · 111 weeks ago

Thanks for the most excellent art Joel! When I had Nathan sign it he sat back a bit and said “Who drew this!!” I directed him to you. You’ve successfully helped me to pleasantly startle someone two years in row.

Come back next year so I can add to my growing collection (Am I allowed to call two a collection?) of celebrity signed art drawn by you.

2 replies · active 111 weeks ago

Oh you had him sign the “2 captains” drawing? Sweet! Post a pic if you can. I hope he dug it.
Paul Turnbull's avatar

Paul Turnbull · 111 weeks ago

Here’s the “2 Captains” signed:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/turnbull/8703905480/

And from last year Wil Wheaton and the Van signed:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/turnbull/7122978237/

Liam's avatar

Liam · 111 weeks ago

Jar Jar Binks
Mr.Torgue's avatar

Mr.Torgue · 111 weeks ago

Kyle Katarn. Abrams may have to rent some explosions from Michael Bay to make it work though.

1 reply · active 111 weeks ago

+1 to this! Those games were the most excited I’d been about Star Wars since pre-prequels.
Not a character? I don’t care. I will watch it if they put an E-Wing in it.

There is no other way I’ll put any more money into this franchise.

I want Luke Skywalker to have a conversation with spirit Yoda.
CalgaryKeith's avatar

CalgaryKeith · 110 weeks ago

Don’t mention it bud! It was a fun weekend.
 Stephen's avatar

Stephen · 110 weeks ago

Thanks to this comic, I am going back and re-reading my expanded universe novels. Might even go back a bit further and read some that I skipped.
DH8's avatar

DH8 · 110 weeks ago

I’m hoping the space marine on a unicorn is an obscure reference to the “X-Play Musical”!!
http://www.g4tv.com/videos/15106/x-play-the-music…

1 reply · active 110 weeks ago

It is a reference to how a dude asked me to draw a car riding Robocop, riding a unicorn.
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Emerald City Comicon 2012 Fancy Sketches

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HOLY CRAPBASTARDS! ME AND WIL MADE “THE CODE” INTO A SHIRT!!!
Get it now @ Sharksplode! Scan it. It really works!

Wil Wheaton QR Code T-Shirt, The Code, @wilw, WilW, WWDN, Scannable Wil Wheaton Shirt

When a Fancy Bastard at Emerald City Comicon walked up, dropped some delicious monies in my cup and said, “Can you draw Wil Wheaton sitting on a throne of dicks?” he seemed almost puzzled at the speed with which I said, “Yup,” and got to work. It was as if he thought I didn’t have that image fully formed in my mind meer nanoseconds after the words escaped his lips. Everything I had drawn up until that point had prepared me to fully realize the dick throne in two dimensions on paper without the slightest hesitation.

ECCC 2012 was a record convention for sketches. The ones shown above are some of my favorites. I personally drew over 50 commissioned sketches in 3 days. At most shows I do 15 or so max, not including quick book doodles. Of those 50, at least 1/3 if not 1/2 involved Wil Wheaton in some fashion. When he and I are exhibiting at the same show there tends to be this fandom wormhole between our booths. Our mutual fans tend to stop at my booth, get a sketch of Wil doing or saying something questionable, then stand in line for hours to get him to sign it, then return it to me for final approval. It’s pretty awesome to think that there are people in the world that hold us both in a similar regard, or at least consider us both as “people that make neat stuff that I like.”

Last year at Phoenix Comicon, Wil and I had this deal going that I would “sexify” any of his Wesley Crusher headshots. His fans would bring their purchased photos to my booth, and I would essentially ruin them by drawing a beard on Wesley and writing “It’s sexy time!” in a speech bubble. That was one of my favorite things ever.

You can read Wil’s quick write up on the con HERE and see the couple that inspired the Nyan Wheaton drawing HERE.

COMMENTERS: What’s your most prized souvenir, signed item, sketch, etc from a celebrity (internet or otherwise) that you got at a signing or convention? 

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C2E2 2011 Fancy Sketches Part 1

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EWOK STAAAAAARRREEEEEE!!!

Ewok Stare Shirt

If you preordered HE Book 2, please read the updated shipping times on THIS PAGE.

I had an amazing time in Chicago. Special thanks to my boothmates Randy, David and Danielle. By our powers combined, we were… able to afford the booth. And have fun. And sell things to people. Some of whom were in costume. It was good times. Chicago welcomed us into its hefty, meaty bosom and bathed us in the deepest of dished pizzas and the greenest of beers (it was St. Patty’s Day weekend, which is apparently Chicago’s Christmas). Despite these kindnesses, it also offered us this cruel joke of an abominable bastardized hot dog. Where was the chili? The shredded cheese? Has the city no sense? It was like a wet salad was gunned down Robocop style near a hot dog that wasn’t finished being made. I will let it slide this time, Chicago, but I expect you to correct this error in hotdoggery before I return in 12 months time.

I was very pleased to get to spend so much time with my friends from Least I Could Do and Cyanide and Happiness during this trip. Along with Danielle, we all participated in the single greatest panel I have ever been a part of. It was a solid hour of laughs and good times. The audio will be posted as the nest HijiNKS ENSUE Podcast for those that are interested in receiving enjoyment through the ears.

I hope you enjoy these book sketches in place of a comic. There will be more of them tomorrow.

COMMENTERS: It’s up to you this time. I’m still recovering from the trip and am not yet of sound enough mind to… with… stuff. Exactly. So feel free to talk about the convention, or other stuff, or ham. Ham is always good.

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There’s The Flashing Magic Screen

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I’ll be at Dallas Comic Con this weekend [Saturday and Sunday]. Come say hi!

At least for now, if you click HERE you will see a video regarding the Apple iPad that begins with a quote of outstanding douchery [captured nearly verbatim in panel 1 above]. Apple loyalist though I may be, I admit they are not above criticism. And to suggest that “we don’t know how computers work so they must be magical” fails to impress me on two accounts. A) I know how computers work… EVERYONE except my mom knows how computers work, and 2) even people that don’t know exactly how computers work don’t think they are magical like phoenix tears.

I do not see a demonstration of “pinch to zoom” multitouch and immediately avert my eyes from the iPad as not to offend it’s heavenly gaze. I do not slaughter a goat as to make a sacrificial offering to the iPad that it may smile upon my crops in the coming season or bless my family with many strong sons and beautiful daughters (for selling to rich village land owners). Nor to a steal off into the night and paint myself with the goats blood, dance around a bonfire and chew the hallucinogenic leaves of an indigenous shrub in order to work myself up into a trance-like frenzy in hopes of better knowing the will of the iPad. Those are the actions of someone who looks at the unknown and interprets it as magic. C’Mon Apple. That was just dumb.

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Tropic Chunder?

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$10 says Mad Magazine or Cracked use that same title.

When I say that many of these comics are autobiographical, please believe me. For not one, not two, but three of my friends approached me with roughly the same review of “Tropic Thunder.” It just so happens they were the three featured regularly in HijiNKS Ensue. I hope when I have lunch with them later today I might actually learn if they thought it was a good movie.

Eli said basically what I portrayed in the panels above. He speaks in cryptic riddles and half truths. I think I’m supposed to find an amulet to decode what he tells me.

Denise was actually the one that suggested Eli might have been talking about “unicorn vomit” as opposed to his own, or someone else’s. Somehow, in her world, this suggests a shift from a negative connotation (throwing up in your own mouth) to a positive one (finding that there is mythical horned horse vomit in your mouth). As if the response to that discovery would be “Mmm, delightful!”

Denise also proposed that “Tropic Thunder” was made by 12 year olds with access to high explosives. Again, I think she meant this as a compliment to the film makers.

I’m so confused.

REMINDER: We will be Castcasting the HE Podcast tonight starting between 8pm and 9pm Central. Check out the live broadcast on Ustream.TV and join in on the live chat!

“Tropic Thunder” sounds like a sports drink that might actually be “enfused” with unicorn vomit.

SAVE HIJINKS ENSUE UPDATE

As of this post, Monthly Donation Subscriptions are at $400/mo and One Time Donations have reached $1897 since the beginning of The Experiment 4 months ago.

If the Monthly Subscription Donations can reach $1000 by the end of August, I can almost definitely continue the Experiment through September.

A few of you have asked what to do if you want to subscribe for more than the amounts listed on the Donations page. What a wonderful question! If you want to subscribe for, say, $30 you can set up subscriptions for $10 and $20. Paypal shouldn’t have a problem with that.

Thanks for your continued support!