Wheaton Comic Dare: Something Something Shark Vagina

Guys, it’s never happened before and I pray it never happens again, but today Wil Wheaton issued a DOUBLE COMIC DARE based on this twitter conversation (and later this one) to both to me and Lar deSouza.

Somehow I survived this challenge of will and the results of my dare acceptance are above. Lar’s (which are VERY NSFW and honestly NSFANYONE) are here and here. Oh, did I forget to mention to have a gallon of eye bleach at the ready? Sorry. [More Wheaton Comic Dares HERE]

The 2013 DIGITAL FANCY SKETCH DRIVE is on like… a not off thing! I’m running low on money-style funds (like I usually do this time of year), so for $20 I will draw you just about anything (within reason). Check out the details and order yours HERE.


ANOTHER THING YOU DEFINITELY SHOULD KNOW ABOUT! In addition to having her own photo restoration business, my wife has also started making super cool, ultra geeky jewelry on Etsy. You can see her Tetris necklace below and more geeky creations in her shop! 



Comments (13)

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Nathan deGargoyle's avatar

Nathan deGargoyle · 97 weeks ago

DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck · 98 weeks ago

Hmmm…. needs more cowbell.
Hotsauce's avatar

Hotsauce · 98 weeks ago

I have a friend, who has a tattoo. It was inspired by a cactus she had, the she felt looked just like an octopus. She calls it Cactopus. Except, she pronounces that ‘a’ like you would pronounce the ‘o’ in octopus. The mind reels.

1 reply · active 98 weeks ago

I’m going to have to insist that the producers of “Sharknado 2” include a scene of old Henry Winkler jumping his motorcycle over the sharknado.
PokeyPuppy's avatar

PokeyPuppy · 98 weeks ago

THAT NECKLACE! Amazing. I may have to get off my butt and actually work on my idea for a Katamari necklace (I have the beads, just haven’t tackled it yet).

Definitely getting off my butt to get a Tetris necklace, though. Brilliant!

Tagline: “This is one button you DON’T want to push”
Mousr's avatar

Mousr · 98 weeks ago

I love the tetris necklace, and showed the picture to my wife to ask if she would want to wear one. She said it was lovely, but no she would not, because it would always bother her that the bottom row hadn’t disappeared.

1 reply · active 97 weeks ago

Count the columns. 9 Instead of 10. The 10th column is empty.
safetyfirstkids's avatar

safetyfirstkids · 98 weeks ago

Clearly the answer to this problem is MEGALODONG VS CEPHALOPUSSY..

Sharks Can’t Sleep

Wil and I made you a Sparks McGee T-Shirt! And we made a bunch of other t-shirts for that matter.

sparks mcgee t-shirt wil wheaton sharksplode

Confused? Of course you are! Read up on Sparks McGee and his awesome adventures.

The $9.95 closeout T-shirt sale is still going on in the HE Store. Here’s an update as to what sizes are left.

I enjoyed absolutely everything about Syfy’s Sharknado. If you didn’t watch it for whatever reason, you missed; a guy from 90210 shooting at least a dozen sharks out of the sky with a pistol from maybe a mile away, his son flying a helicopter into the titular Sharknado to drop pipe bombs into it, so many horrendous special FX (the movie would jump from HD, to SD to 90’s webcam resolution depending on how many FX were on screen at any given time), at least 3 scenes involving nothing but stock footage, sharks in a living room, sharks on the roofs of skyscrapers, sharks in the pool at the old folks home and the chainsaw… we musnt’ forget the chainsaw. Sweet miserable bastard, the chainsaw. I don’t think any other movie has caused me to audibly gasp then exclaim, “Don’t you dare. You monsters,” just before the climax.

Sharknado was certainly worth my time (a sentence that, upon reading it, and knowing full well that I typed it myself, I still do not understand), though the best part was watching it live with a bunch of my friends via Twitter. Many of my best friends are people I only see at conventions, which means we rarely, if ever have a chance to just sit down and enjoy making fun of a crappy movie together. Live tweeting Sharknado with Wil and Anne and Yuri made them not seem so far away and made me feel like we were all in the same room together having a good time (THEY actually were ALL in the same room together, but whatever). I guess my hope is some of the people watching the movie and reading along via Twitter with us felt like they were in the room too, and got to share in the experience of celebrating a truly majestic train wreck.

COMMENTERS: Did you watch Sharknado and possibly read along with my live tweets? Can you enjoy “So bad it’s good” movies are do you view all these Syfy Shark+whatever movies as “So bad it’s bad?” Any favorites in the genre?

Comments (38)

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Why is the bass not singing “Take Me To The River?”

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

Not even a Hurricanine?
blaring's avatar

blaring · 101 weeks ago

Much better than my idea: “El Crabño”
Poodles McGee's avatar

Poodles McGee · 101 weeks ago

I didn’t watch Sharknado, but I did follow along with your and Anne’s and Will’s tweets about it when I should have been studying/cleaning. Frankly, it was awesome and I have no regrets about being another day behind on school stuff.

The whole thing about you and them and all the other webcomic people whose stuff I read that I really love is that you guys all know each other and are at least respected colleagues if not outright friends. Watching you joke around and encourage each other and talk shop on Twitter and Tumblr gives people like me (who have a hard time making friends) a chance to sort of vicariously hang out with some really nice, hilarious people. The community/camaraderie you guys have is just as big a part of why I’m so enamored of webcomics as the actual comics themselves.

Sorry for the big sloppy love letter.

2 replies · active 101 weeks ago

That’s really kind of you to say. Just so you know, MOST of the webcomics type people I am friends with would describe themselves as “has a hard time making friends” too.
Bryce's avatar

Bryce · 101 weeks ago

I think a lot of the introverted type of people would say that. Somehow I’ve wound up with a lot of friends who also have trouble making friends. And the obligatory outlier about whom it has to be said “no, she isn’t being sarcastic, she really IS that happy to meet you” at some discreet point after making introductions.
Antonius's avatar

Antonius · 101 weeks ago

Leshka's avatar

Leshka · 101 weeks ago

Not having TV, I was spared the knowledge of the exact time this movie came out. I did know it was arriving, though. One day a few weeks ago I was wearing my Sci-Fi movie title generator T-shirt and my friends and I were making up names. We figured Sharknado was an awesome title, and one guy searched online to tell us that, yes, someone else thought it was a good idea as well. Sad to say two other names were also actual movies (or close enough for Syfy exec work.)
Green's avatar

Green · 101 weeks ago

Yeah, I got to say, never been a fan of ironically watching stuff. Especially when the producers are *deliberately* trying to appeal to that crowd. Sharknado and the others of its ilk are all just, as you put it, so-bad-it’s-bad. 😛

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

I hear what you’re saying, but let me assure you there was ZERO irony involved in my Sharknado enjoyment. I was actually laughing hysterically for close to 2 hours which is a pretty genuine expression of emotion in my book.
MrPlow99's avatar

MrPlow99 · 100 weeks ago

With a sequel “Tsunhami 2: When Pigs Fly”
Bryce's avatar

Bryce · 101 weeks ago

I haven’t seen Sharknado, but do-bad-it’s-good movies really depend on the company. I saw Ninja Assassin (which since it was about an ex-ninja assassin who killed ninja assassins should have been named Ninja Assassin-Assassinating Ninja) and it was a hoot, but had I been alone I would have turned it off a few minutes in. Those kind of movies need people with whom to share your theories about ninja being trained to leap in front of speeding cars and pose menacingly before being hit.
I would totally buy a “Crabalanche!”-Shirt.

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

Chaucer59 's avatar

Chaucer59 · 100 weeks ago

Isn’t that something they serve at Joe’s Crab Shack. Tumbling from a mountain of curly fries beside a babbling butter brook?
I have some friends who regularly get together and trash bad SF movies. Usually, it’s dollar-bin movies, but I think they may have done this one live. Those are great, Joel! Crabalanche! Nor’Easter Bunny… LOL!
xero's avatar

xero · 101 weeks ago

Piranhacano half Piranha half volcvano
Lynn's avatar

Lynn · 101 weeks ago

I would totally watch “Big Mouth Bassteroid”
KingMeIV's avatar

KingMeIV · 101 weeks ago

Just watched Sharknado with my best friend last night, and I agree with everything you’ve said 100%. We regularly watch so-bad-it’s-good movies together, and these days they’re mostly Asylum Films. I have to recommend 3 Musketeers. Tagline? “All for one, and guns for all”.
bobblebrad's avatar

bobblebrad · 101 weeks ago

I’m seeing a possible title for the next book Joel… “Fancy Basteroid 2: Deep Hampact” Does Bruce Willis do audio books?

1 reply · active 99 weeks ago

petsinwinter's avatar

petsinwinter · 101 weeks ago

I watched it and followed along with your live tweets.
According to my dad, who was watching the hashtag instead, twitter turned into MST3K that night.
Do you listen to the “How Did This Get Made?” podcast? Every episode is such a love letter to so-bad-it’s-good movies, they make me laugh all the time (even when I disagree on the movie, and think it was just bad).

I will have to track down Sharknado, because it sounds amazing!

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

Yeah, HDTGM is one of my favorites.
Stranger's avatar

Stranger · 100 weeks ago

Im of the “So Bad Its Bad” school of thought. A bad movie isnt enjoyable to me, its just annoying and frustrating to watch. That someone took the time to make that garbage, and then expected people to enjoy it, is frankly just insulting. Its even worse when they try to be all self referential like they know it sucks, but then dont bother changing anything, because everything has to be goddamn meta now.
weaselspoon's avatar

weaselspoon · 100 weeks ago

I love So Bad It’s Good films. They’ve got to be a particular kind of bad, and then you have to go in knowing they are bad. When you’re at the cinema watching Poutrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (or any Troma for that matter) or The Room (ye gods, The Room), it becomes the audience united in laughing at the film.

I recently watched a film called Leviathon that had just won a major award and was definitely meant to be good. Half the audience walked out, and I clung on to the end but it didn’t improve. That was mostly awful because having been told this is an award winning film, your hopes are up. Had I known what to expect, we’d have thrown popcorn and shouted at the screen and it would have been fun.

After that, we saw Frankenstein’s Army. We threw popcorn and shouted at the screen. It was awesome. The director was there and he was awesome.

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

Stranger's avatar

Stranger · 100 weeks ago

See, thats the stuff that bugs me. I can kind of forgive a movie for sucking if the director really gave it his best, but was limited by resources or his own lack of talent or whatever, like Ed Wood, but when the director has this painful self satisfied “look at this horrible movie I did” attitude, and actually goes to showings himself, its just… ugh. If youre not even going to TRY making a good movie, what the hell are you making movies for at all?
Birdemic 2: Because We Hate Absolutely Everyone!
Chaucer59's avatar

Chaucer59 · 100 weeks ago

Yeah, my Dave So-Bad-It’s-Good entries also incoude a Troma delight: Chopper Chicks in Zombietown. Another that actually meant to be funny and occasionally succeeded we Revenge of the Killer Tomatoes, starring John Astin and a very young George Clooney. The pizza delivery guy comes to the spooky old mansion where Astin is turning tomatoes into muscle-bound hunks, and pizza boy sees all the big musclemen strolling the grounds carrying HKs and asks, “Who are all these guys.” The tomato-girl bimbo, in a perfectly robotic voice replies, “They are gardeners and carpenters. They are not tomato men.”


Chaucer59's avatar

Chaucer59 · 100 weeks ago

Ugh. Gotta edit these iPhone posts that should be “my fave entries” and well, I guess the other typos are pretty obvious.
People! Spoiler Alert warnings please! Canada is getting this cinematic gem on Thursday!

I can’t wait for the scene in the diner when the shark fakes an orgasm and the old shark across the restaurant says “I’ll feeding frenzy what they’re feeding frenzy!”

Tonny J.'s avatar

Tonny J. · 5 weeks ago

Im of the “So Bad Its Bad” school of thought. A bad movie isnt enjoyable to me, its just annoying and frustrating to watch. That someone took the time to make that garbage, and then expected people to enjoy it, is frankly just insulting. Its even worse when they try to be all self referential like they know it sucks, but then dont bother changing anything, because everything has to be goddamn meta now.

I Know My First Name Is Santa

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this Three Wheaton Moon shirt. You can buy it! Then you can wear it! Only two steps to total geeky happiness? Sign me up!

Three Wheaton Moon T-Shirt, Funny Three Wolf Moon Parody, Wil Wheaton T-Shirt, 3 Wil Wheaton Moon, Clown Sweater, Wesley Crusher, Evil Wil Wheaton

Lifetime: The Network Your Aunt Likes (You know that ONE aunt? The one that moved back in with your grandma after her divorce.) 

My mom pays for an entire array of cable channels, but she really only uses four of them: Lifetime, Lifetime Movies, Lifetime Real Women and The Hallmark Channel. Around Christmas time (roughly August through February) she parks the TV squarely in the middle of this estrogen programming block and feasts on programming designed to both uplift the spirit and tug at the tear ducts of middle-aged lady types. Also, most of the movies are about your dead relatives returning for Christmas as angels. I saw one over at her place about a dead grandma that just shows up at her family’s house at Christmas, and instead of calling the boys in the grayish-brown suits with the nuclear backpacks they’re all just, “Grandma, it sure is great that Jesus let you come down here and bake cookies for us!” It was intensely creepy. Everything about it that made my mom go, “Awwww,” made me go, “AHAHGHGHGHGHG!!!!” Not 2 weeks later I was back over there and, I shit you not, there was an entirely different movie about a dead relative coming back as a Christmas angel. I expect there are hundreds of them. Like Pokemon.

CONFESSION TIME: I have seen one Lifetime movie that actually made me sad, nearly to the point of tears. I had just finished plowing through 2 or 3 seasons of Dead Like Me and, while flipping channels, saw the star of that show (Ellen Muth) on the screen. Turns out it was a Lifetime movie called The Truth About Jane about a girl (Muth) realizing she’s gay, and how her family treats her like a criminal because of it. They try to “deal with the problem” as if she had been caught with a gun and a bag of PCP. I knew what they were doing! Those bastards were showing me things that I already thought were sad and they were making them even sadder! SHE JUST WANTED TO DATE GIRLS AND BE LOVED! THAT’S ALL! SHE WAS A GOOD GIRL! YOU TREATED HER LIKE A MONSTER! YOU WERE THE MONSTER, MOM! YOU WERE… the… BLOOOO HOOO HOOO HOOOOO!!!!

I have received some very generous gifts from my Amazon Wishlist and from donators in the last couple of weeks. I want to make sure to give big giant holiday-style thanks to Fancy Bastards: Elliot Moss, Cole Parker, Anonymous Ghostbusters gifter, Alyssa Vaughan, Trevor Spratt and Dan & Toni Arthur. Being the father of a 4 year old, I am pretty much primarily on the “giving” side of Xmas, so your gifts were certainly appreciated and made my insides feel all squishy and gross.

COMMENTERS: Sappiest, cheesiest or most unbelievable TV Movie you’ve ever seen? Is there one that actually activated your human emotion chip?

UPDATE 12/28/11:


Also, I have resurrected my TUMBLR and started things off by posting my giant “How to save Terra Nova” rant (mentioned in this comic’s post) and a free mobile desktop wallpaper of “Dino Jesus.” I have plans for this TUMBLR in 2012 that involve changing some of the ways I offer content and who I offer it to. The basic strategy is more content to more people. I do not see this as being a negative.

The Weeping Fanboys

Sci-Five, Sci 5 T-Shirt, Vulcan High Five, Geek Shirts, Sci-fi nerd shirts, geek tee shirts

Thanks for understanding guys. I am just swamped right now. There will be a proper new comic tomorrow.


COMMENTERS: I assume many of you bought the Star Wars Blu Rays. Feel free to express your opinions, positive, negative or neutral, in the comments.