Shit Happenings


See what I did there? There was a twist ending. The comic wasn’t about “The Happening” at all! Boosh.

“Wayne’s World” played a pivotal role in the early development of my sense of humor. It was the only movie I ever owned on VHS. I watched it every day after school (sometimes twice) for months after I got it. I didn’t even understand 2/3 of the jokes at age 11 (I didn’t know much about Alice Cooper or why it isn’t cool to play “Stairway” in a guitar shop), but that didn’t stop me from memorizing the movie word for word (even the Cantonese) and reciting it to my friends. It introduced me to a style of parody and non sequitur that I still use every day, especially in this comic. For those reasons I can forgive Mike Myers. He gets a free pass to comedy heaven as far as I’m concerned. But, let’s make sure he gets there soon… somebody please kill him* for making “The Love Guru.”

I love the headline from this Aint it Cool News review: ‘If Shit Got THE LOVE GURU On It, Shit Would Wipe It Off!’

At least it’s not making any money. That should (hopefully) crush any chances of a sequel.  Mike Myers and sequels are not a good combination. He’s invented two characters that are forever emblazoned on the American pop culture psyche, and have added a slew of words to our collective lexicon (Shwing!, Party On, Asphinctersayswhat, Shagadellic, Oh Behave, Do I make you horny?, etc.). You might be tired of these phrases but that’s most likely due to their overuse in their films’ repsective sequels.

“Wayne’s World” and “Austin Powers: IMoM” were both comedic masterpieces. Expertly exectued in every way. “Wayne’s World 2” was “All the Jokes from Wayne’s World” – Rob Lowe + Christopher Walken. It’s watchable, but only on a Saturday afternoon when it’s coming on TBS and nothing else is on. “Austin Powers” 2 and 3 might have actually been shot from the same script as the original. Take one part “Austin Powers,” mix with 2 parts midget jokes, twice the number of dick jokes as needed, 2 giant handfuls of recycled catch phrases and mix vigorously until you feel ashamed. Feel free to substitute leggy British brunette for mentally retarded blonde or mentally retarded Beyonce Knowels (who is just terrible. Like, at everything).

“The Love Guru” seems to have surpassed his previous formula in terms of shittiness by no less than 200,000 percent.

Mike Myers + funny hair + funny makeup + funny accent + mild to moderate racism + Hottish female lead + midget + dick jokes + disgusting physical or anotomy gag + having a hard time riding around in amusing transportation + celebrity cameos + dick jokes… OK, that IS the formula for “Austin Powers”. I guess lightning doesn’t strike twice. Or if it does, the second time instead of lighting it’s a shitty movie.

Mike Myers’ Career 1989-2008

*That’s a joke. Please don’t kill Mike Myers or anyone else in the name of HijiNKS Ensue. That would suck.


“The Happening” also sucks.