Alternate solution: find out if they are allergic to water or susceptible to germs. Chances are, dirt makes their brains catch fire. Invading alien hordes never seem to the do the research required to properly choose a planet to target.

The trailers for “The Day The Earth Stood Still” certainly give the impression that humanity is doomed due to our shoddy treatment of the earth. It’s safe to say we aren’t getting our security deposit back.

“We didn’t melt those ice caps! They were totally melted when we moved in. It must have been the last tenant. Go find the fucking dinosaurs and ask them what they did to the ice caps. They probably breathed fire all over them. I’m calling the Better Business Bureau and telling all my friends to stay away from your shitty planet!”

I’m sure our cries of “But I drive a Prius!” will fall on deaf alien ears, assuming they have ears and not just cycloptic laser beam eyes.

I’m not a big fan of Kenaanaeux Reeves but I can certainly buy him as an emotionless, wooden alien who’s uncomfortable occupying a human body. I doubt the director ever had to shout, “EMOTE LESS, KEANU!” It just comes naturally to him. Though I do imagine the director got tired of screaming, “ALIENS DON’T SAY “WHOAH,” KEANU!” Regardless, I am looking forward to this movie due to my natural geeky thirst for all things scifi. I hope it’s well executed and entertaining because as sweet as good scifi tastes, bad scifi is like… something that tastes really bad. Like a bad pecan. Have you ever had a bad pecan? You’re happily plowing through a bag of pecans and they are all nutty and awesome and then you bite into a bad one. It’s like drywall, turpentine and pee. That’s what bad scifi is like.


I was starting to get worried that this comic was totally off base and the new movie wasn’t actually about the environment as I had gathered. Luckily, some quick Googling seems to assuage my fears:

I should do this research BEFORE i start drawing.