2015-06-25-sharksplode-unassembled

Unassembled

2015-06-25-sharksplode-unassembled

Here’s another resurrected and recolored FANEURYSM comic. As I explained here, there are a few FANEURYSM comics that I don’t want to allow to slip into the void of the Internet’s hazy memory, and that fit in nicely with the aesthetic of Sharkzpode. You can see the original version HERE.

Of course all of this changes in Captain America: Civil War in which EACH AND EVERY character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe will be making an appearance. If the movie is two and a half hours, I bet there’s 40 minutes just taking role call.

Sharksploders: Which lesser know Marvel character deserves their own solo movie and why?

2014-05-30-FANEURYSM-unassembled

Unassembled

2014-05-30-FANEURYSM-unassembled

Super hero comics have a lot of problems when it comes to believable stories. Chief among them is when the there is a struggle and after all hope seems lost, the hero, or the hero’s weapon or the hero’s team is shown to be MASSIVELY powerful and effective in diffusing the villain or situation. Then the next time the hero or team faces a similar threat, they don’t just start with the final thing that worked the last time.

For instance, when you know one hero, let’s say Iron Man, wasn’t enough to get a job done on his own; that success was only achievable by putting ego aside and coming together with other heroes to form a team, then how do you ever go back to just doing shit on your own? When your contact list includes like 150 of the most powerful beings in the galaxy, how do you not call at least a couple of them whenever some nasty badness goes down? Have these guys not seen The Incredibles? There was a lesson!

FANCY BASTARD BULLETIN! 
Tuesday June 3rd is my birthday (I’m almost positive I’m turning 33). If you like to help me celebrate, please feel free to check out:

The Patreon is honestly the greatest thing you can do for me in terms of making sure I am still able to do HijiNKS ENSUE as my full time job. Otherwise, I’ll happily take an Internet high five via Twitter or Facebook.

This problem is occasionally solved by depowering a hero in some fashion, or knocking them completely out of commission while some lesser powered being takes over for them for a few months. Remember when Superman got turned into a blue energy guy for awhile? He’s really got it the worst when it comes to “too powerful to tell a believable story.” Before his powers were significantly reduced in The New 52, Superman could pretty much toss a planet around like a softball. He could have handled any problem thrown at him by any villain in under a minute. Until they depowered his body, they tried to keep him bound by his conscience. It made for good internal conflict I suppose, but in a world where Superman exists and the same villains are constantly killings 1000’s of people all the time with no ability to be contained and showing no signs of remorse, or of slowing down their reign of chaos he would just solve every problem the same way. Heat vision to the brain from orbit.

COMMENTERS: What superheroes do you think were too powerful, or at least shown to be crazy powerful, but then never seemed to use that power when it was most necessary? What about super heroes having their powers taken away? I nearly fell out of chair in 5th grade when Magneto ripped out Wolverine’s adamantium. I don’t think I could concentrate or eat lunch after that. Damn.

becomepatron

I also made you this super cute Adventure Time/Doctor Who shirt. GO BUY IT! 

sharksplode-t-shirt-adventure-timelords-WIDE

2014-05-12-FANEURYSM-a-founding-member

A Founding Member

2014-05-12-FANEURYSM-a-founding-member

This is probably a great time for me to go into excruciating detail about my “Iron Man is a modern Christ figure” thesis. Ok, first off: repulsor beams = stigmata, the sacred heart = chest arc reactor, J.A.R.V.I.S. = probably the voice of god or something, flight boots = ascension to Heaven… uhhh… Pepper is Mary Magdalene… NO! Black Widow is! Yeah! Happy is Peter, A.I.M. are the Romans, M.O.D.O.K. is Pontius Pilate, it’s all really very simple.

HijiNKS ENSUE just turned 7 years old and to celebrate I’m having a Fancy Bastard Fancy Fan Art contest! “But, Joel! I don’t know how to art!” you say? TOO BAD! YOU ARE NOT EXEMPT! Write a poem! Write a song! Bake a cake! Knit a scarf! The more creative the better! RULES, PRIZES AND DETAILS HERE. 

becomepatron

comic-2013-01-23-we-all-die-screaming.jpg

We All Die Screaming

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The HIJINKS ENSUE STORE Is where you can buy stuff that I made! It supports me and my family and keeps this little operation going.

Funny T-Shirts, Geeky shirts, Doctor who parody shirts, Team Edward James Olmos shirt, Groverfield Shirt, Sci-Five Star Trek Parody T-Shirt in The HijiNKS ENSUE Store

This video RUINED my brain.

COMMENTERS: Have you ever been completely fooled by subtle CG or other movie FX and astonished when you found out the trickery? The lies? The deceit?

If you used to get HE in your email inbox through Feedburner (a service I stopped using this year because Google stopped supporting it), this service seems to offer the same functionality for free.

Just plugin the HE RSS feed [http://hijinksensue.com/feed/] and your email address.

comic-2012-10-17-might-club-his-name-is-phillip-coulson.jpg

Might Club (His Name Is Phillip Coulson)

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PAY ATTENTION TO THESE THINGS! THE THINGS AFTER THE TINY DOTS: 

Thanks to Joss Whedon, we can now utter Phil Coulson in the same breath as Tara and Wash. Whedon really knows how to go straight for the heart, which is funny consdering each of those characters were “the heart” of their show (maybe less so with Tara), they were ACTUALLY shot IN the heart (with a bullet, a giant pike and a magic spear) and their deaths hit us, the audience, right in the heart (specifically in the area governing the FEELS).

I know Coulson will make at least an appearance in the new S.H.I.E.L.D TV series, but I hope they find a way to bring him back as more than just the occasional flashback. I don’t, however, hope this means the whole series would be set in a world before The Avengers. I’d like to see a team of post-Avengers S.H.I.E.L.D agents making passing references to “the big green guy” and “the pompous ass in the robot suit. Maybe Coulson will be an A.I. construct the team consults with. Or perhaps one agent is studying Coulson’s video logs to learn more about his methods. Or maybe he’s the god damn Vision. Who knows. All things being equal, Joss is probably going to use Coulson as his personal Kenny, and find a different, more brutal way to kill him in every episode.

OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED PHIL! YOU BASTARDS! 

COMMENTERS: Are you glad that Coulson is returning (in some unspecified capacity)? How would you like to see his character used in the new S.H.I.E.L.D show? Why does Joss Whedon love to see us cry real human tears? Outside of the Whedonverse, which character deaths in TV, movies, comics, books or otherwise hit you the hardest? Please use the SPOILERS!!! tag if it’s a current series or a popular book series that people are still reading.