Alternate Title: Guess Who’s Coming to Cancel Dinner

When I saw that Fox had finally, with Fringe going into its final season, purged all the icky sci-fi nerdity from their otherwise pristine network, I knew exactly where to go with the next HE storyline. The Evil Fox Executive (can he even still be called that?) is a soldier without a war. A man without a country. A panda strangler… ALLEGED panda strangler with nary a panda to strangle. And they really are such satisfying creatures to strangle. Their fur and fluff are easy on the hands. No strangulations calluses with a panda. No sir.

Major thanks to all of you Fancy Bastards that have started donation subscriptions since I added the new $2, $3 and $4 monthly levels. There is a now a premium RSS feed just for subscribers that has the full comic in the feed.


HijiNKS ENSUE At Phoenix Comicon

I will be at booth 707/806 with Blind Ferret.
More info HERE.

COMMENTERS: So where does this leave us? Are we better off with Fox leaving the sci-fi greenlighting/cancellation cycle to the other networks? Is this like giving up on relationships to prevent heartbreak? Can it not be argued that Fox has actually produced some of the finest sci-fi that television has ever seen? Are we going to lose more than we would have gained if Fox gets out of the science fiction game altogether?

Guest Photo Comic By Josh A. Cagan


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JoCo Cruise Crazy II Guest Week hasn’t sunk yet! We are taking on water, but the Coulton has assured us that the crew only left on all the lifeboats to get help. How deep is the ocean? Should I be wearing long pants or would shorts be more appropriate? Hey look! Fish!

CAAAAAAAAGAAAAAAN!!! Seriously, scream his name. It’s like it was went ONLY to be screamed with your eyes gazing heavenward at a vengeful god, demanding justice for some great Internet atrocity. One of my favorite outcomes of SDCC 2011 (other than seeing Adam Savage trying on his new custom Batman armour, getting shot on stage at w00tstock 3.0 by Amy Berg, and various other “this can’t really be happening” adventures) was meeting Josh A. Cagan. I feel like we were probably introduced by Wil Wheaton, but then again it could have been that we both dodged an evil wizard’s curse a the same time and bumped heads taking cover behind a hotel lobby chair. That night is mostly a blur and I am positive there were wizard duels happening all over the place.

Josh is a screenwriter for movies and tv’s and what not. He is also a w00stock alum, one of the writers and actors for the Mtv animated serious Undergrads and last year he sold a script adapted from the highschool comedy novel “The Duff” to CBS Films. Regardless of any of this, he is one of the funniest people I have met in recent years. I strongly recommend, no DEMAND… no STRONGLY DEMAND… NO! STRONGBADLY RE-UNMAND that you follow him on Twitter. Your followage will be rewarded with real world laughs (out loud laugh or OLL’s, while not guaranteed, are highly likely). Once he tweeted me so LOL that I whatever this is.

If you are going to be in Calgary for the Calgary Expo April 27-29 you can see Josh participate in a 10 year anniversary panel for Undergrads at the convention. Fans of Clone High should definitely check out Undergrads. It was another in the long tradition of Mtv animated shows that were poorly marketed, horribly time-slotted and far too funny for that network. I will be there for the show, the panel and the after show/panel drinks as well. As Josh has told me, “I would warn all the beers, but they don’t stand a chance.”

COMMENTERS: Please make your own list of terrible guest comic ideas. Feel free to quickly and horribly photoshop any of yours or anyone else’s and link them in the comments. Alternately, what was your favorite “cancelled too soon” animated show? Which network is the worst about making sure to produce fantastic animated shows, then make them impossible to find on their schedule or constantly preempt them for sports, singing competitions or reality TV? Oh, all of them? They all do this? Do tell.

¿Terra? No Va

“Winter Is Coming” shirts are now IN THE STORE!!! [based on this comic]

“¿Terra? No Va” translates to “Terra? Doesn’t Go.” As in, “With such a great premise Terra Nova could go SO MANY AMAZING PLACES, but choses not to.”

I have written at least four pages of stream of consciousness, black and white notebooks from Se7en-style commentary on how I would fix Terra Nova. I am going to try to arrange it into a coherent, readable, non-manifesto format and post it here for your perusal. The bottom line is Terra Nova is a FANTASTIC concept with loads of potential that the writers and producers of the show seem hell bent on completely ignoring. I have several holiday-time, family-style obligations keeping me from organizing my mad ramblings now (plus I’ve been awake for 2ish days and the voices are starting to make some really good points), so check back over the weekend and hopefully I will have completed my transformation into a great and terrible red dragon… posted my thoughts on how to fix Terra Nova.

UPDATE: I have resurrected my TUMBLR and posted my Terra Nova rant all in one fell swoop.

COMMENTERS: Who else could save Terra Nova and how would they do it? How would you save it (which specific issues would you address)? Do you think it doesn’t need saving? That is certainly an opinion one could have… IF THEY WERE A SIXER SPIE! Of course there is no actual punishment in Terra Nova for being a Sixer spie, so… carry on I guess.

[thanks to @doctoravenue, @robgonzo and @dotcomaphobe for the title to today’s comic]

It being holiday-type times and all, I thought I would mention that I have an Amazon wish list. It mostly consists of Blu-Rays right now, since I finally got a Blu-Ray player (mostly to more conveniently stream Netflix). So there’s that if you are interested. If you’d like to send a card or anything else for that matter, the mailing address is on the contact page.

The Boy Who Waited

Nothing says, “I bought you some stuff from the Internet,” like buying people stuff from the Internet. The Doctor Is In T-Shirt, Funny Doctor Who Parody Shirt, Charlie Brown, Sci-Fi

Me, Randy MilhollandDavid Willis, Danielle Corsetto, Jeph Jaques, Rob Denbleyker and MORE will be at the Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage panel/signing event on December 10th and 11th. It is always a good time. Austin Fancy Bastards should NOT miss it.

More details HERE.

HijiNKS ENSUE at Dragons Lair Webcomic Rampage

In honor of The Doctor and my current allergy-related headsplosion, I am drinking a cocktail of Dayquil, Sudaphed, vodka and orange juice. I call it a Sonic Screwdriver*. I can’t say I’m happy that The Doctor is leaving for so long, but I would rather them make a great series than rush to meet some arbitrary deadline. Plus, The Doctor always comes back eventually.

My daughter is starting to figure out that Santa Claus isn’t real. [SPOILERS] Recently she’s said things like, “I bet scientists don’t think that Santa can really see everyone all the time,” and “I don’t think Santa’s reindeer can really fly. I bet they just walk everywhere.” I think I’m going to start telling her that Santa is and has always been a lie, because it’s The Doctor that brings her presents every year. Then we can leave fish fingers and custard on the fireplace for him on Christmas Eve.

COMMENTERS: Mofftatt said the incredibly long Doctor Who hiatus (Doctor Whiatus) is due to his feelings that new adventures in the blue box should start in fall. In this age of DVR’s, Netflix streaming, and all manner of time-shifted TV, does any of that really matter? Would we be better off if series were released all at once or in chunks, 6-10 episodes at a time?

Also, what are you doing to cope with the year long break from Doctor Who? Any shows taking its place? What about other activities? Do you go… outside? Do you know where outside is? Are their people out there? Please don’t tell them where I am.

*Seriously guys, do not try this. 

Causality And FX

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Alternate Title: Tera Novella

Before you jump up my ass, YES I know they wrote off the possibility of a paradox in the pilot of Terra Nova by saying the past they travel to is in an “alternate time stream.” More on why I think that’s bullshit later.

Ok, so I gave the Terra Nova pilot a shot. The short version is that it’s Jurassic Park meets Avatar with a little bit of Lost thrown in for good measure. There’s dinosaurs and humans juxtaposed, there’s escaping a dystopian Earth in favor of a hostile but majestic jungle environment and there’s “no matter what you were, you get a second chance on the island in the past” to round out the premise. There are even a group of  “others” to add a little mayhem and mystery.

Let’s start with the shitty future humanity traps itself in. Fans of sci-fi will find nothing new about the present day future of Terra Nova. It’s all well trodden ground. Humanity destroys itself with greed, overpopulation and environmental devastation. The air sucks, the living quarters are tiny and only the most wealthy and connected don’t live on the brink of extinction. Through a coincidence, seemingly caused by parking two supercolliders next to each other, scientists discover a “fracture” to 85 million years in the past. A probe is sent through, assuming it will automatically show up somewhere in the present. When it doesn’t they determine this past is in a different time line, so it’s ripe for exploring, and settling and butterfly stepping on without fear of paradox… IN OUR UNIVERSE. What about the present of the parallel Earth whose past they are invading? Maybe they didn’t fuck up their planet. Maybe the first person who goes through that portal commits planetary genocide. Why is that not a concern?

Anyway, they decide the only future for humanity lies 85 million years in the past so they start sending settlers through the portal to establish a new colony. It isn’t explicitly stated, but I assume the idea is “Our Earth is fucked. Everyone on it is going to die. Screw those guys. The people in the past and their descendants are going to be the only humans to survive long term.” Seems a bit short-sighted. Why didn’t they just invest all that future know-how into a more advanced space program and work on terraforming and colonizing Mars? Oh… right. Because then they wouldn’t have a show where people get chased by dinosaurs.

The dinosaur effects are passable, but shockingly NOT up to snuff with the original Jurassic Park. How does that film keep aging so well? All in all, the 2 part pilot was rather enjoyable but rife with confusing, nit-picky plot holes and story difficulties that could prove too big to overcome without alienating the hardcore sci-fi fan (again, the “alternate time stream = go nuts, do whatever we want” thing will never stop bothering me). I will say the characters and the pacing are a DRASTIC improvement over Spielberg’s last genre TV outing Falling Skies. There was a decent dose of family drama, but it didn’t weigh the whole show down like it did on Falli… 7th Heaven + Aliens.

I will probably give Terra Nova at least a good 4-5 eps to show me what it’s got, though I find it nearly impossible to concentrate on the plot with all the Jurassic Park jokes I keep making while watching it. Every time General Avatar showed Main Character Cop/Dad a new area of the compound (especially his living quarters which looked suspiciously like a page out of the IKEA catalog), I couldn’t stop myself from blurting out “Spared no expense!”

COMMENTERS: Did you see Terra Nova? Any thoughts? [posting mine in a few minutes, check back and refresh]