Punkin Chunkin

Poor little guy. He must be collicky. Newborns can be such a handful. Especially when they refuse to prove they were born in this country. Just produce the ancient South American stone tablets that foretell your coming and we’ll consider the issue closed. Otherwise I’m calling immigration and you can cluck and hiss your story to them. I feel like I should point out that my intention was not to imply that Juan Q. ate a bunch of people and then threw them up all over Joel. It’s more like his beak is a portal to a dimension that consists of nothing but blood and bones and through a gastrointestinal mishap he managed to lower the veil between worlds for a second. Come December 22nd, we’re probably all going to wish we lived in that bone blood dimension. I don’t expect Juan Q. is going to show us much in the mercy depart. Cute little bugger that he is.

Eli seems to be embracing the Mayan 2012 Apocalypse now that he has a dog in the race. Either that or he’s starting to swell with pride for his brownish heritage. Either way I think Juan Quetzalcoatl Zach will be sticking around, even if that particular name does now. I almost went with Roland. I hope you enjoyed this storyline (perhaps more than the last one). Now let me gather my thoughts on this whole Disney/Lucasfilm thing so I can make a comic about it. I bet it ends the same way as this one did. Just buckets and buckets of thrown up blood and bones.

Check out this Interview I did with The 4th Wall. It contains basically everything I know about making comics for a living. I have no other knowledge to impart.

AUSTIN, TX FANCY BASTARDS: Come to THIS in December or your regrets will never cease.


The Blessed Arrival

La resurrección del lagarto pollo!

Finally, a new comic. My actual human life has been getting in the way of my comic-productivity for the last week. I have solved this problem by cutting off all contact with the outside world for at least the next two months. If you need me, I’ll be chained to my computer with a stylus driven through each of my hands like so much webcomicy stigmata.



COMMENTERS: So it seems Eli is now the steward of the great bird-headed serpent god of Mesoamerica that will (or has) return to Earth and usher in the world ending 2012 situation. Fun times. Which horrific beast of world (or at least city) destruction would you most like as a pet? Which would you rather actually destroy us all? My vote for both scenarios goes to whatever sort of Norse frost giant is going to really fuck shit up come Ragnarok.


Biological Cluck

NEW PODCAST!!! Episode 92 – He’s Dredd Jim

COMMENTERS: I think I’ve almost decided that Eli and Josh live together in this new HE canon. Almost. Please share your stories of weird roommates and their weird animals, noises, foods, behaviors, etc. I lived with a few guys when I first moved to Dallas for about 3 months. One of them, Lance, accused me of both stealing and wearing his pants. As in “THOSE ARE MY PANTS! YES, THE ONES YOU ARE WEARING! THEY ARE MINE! YOU TOOK THEM!” They were not, in fact, Lance’s pants. They were mine.

Have You Heard The Good News?

Lil’ Wil Plushies are HERE, the are SHIPPING and now they have their own TUMBLR!

It seems as though Eli and Josh do not understand the finer distinctions of several of the world’s many beautiful religions. Had they taken even an intro to Theology in school, they would know that the chickensnake worshipping death cult is a sect that branched off from the Lutherans in 1847. Fun fact: these Neo Lutherans were featured heavily in season 7 of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, though the producers replaced the chickensnake with “The First Evil” to make the show sexier for pale teens.

I totally still have some holiday type greeting cards in the store. You should pick some up and mail them at some other person after you write all over them.

Of Feather And Fang

EXCELLENT NEWS! Lil’ Wil Wheaton Plushies are SHIPPING NOW!

Wil Wheaton Plushie Box - HijiNKS ENSUE

You can order yours HERE and get them in time for the holidays.

At the first sign of danger, Eli immediately resorts to the tried and true stratagems outlined in the films of Bruce Campbell.

If you are a UK type who is planning on going to MCM London, please seek out the Blind Ferret Booth. I am nearly positive they will have my shirts for sale.

COMMENTERS: Please offer your own “sage advice” or “wise affirmisms” using lessons you’ve learned from Bruce Campbell movies. If that’s too specific, I will expand the criteria to cover the entire B-Horror genre. I’m looking for real world applications here. The kind of stuff you’d tell your kid as they left for college. “If your English Lit. book has an evil face, see if they have a version you download to your iPad.”