The Defiant, The Damned And The Dirty

The Defiant, The Damned And The Dirty

I AM GOING TO BE IN CALGARY THIS WEEKEND FOR CALGARY EXPO!!! Details HERE.  Here’s a new LoFi comic!  I have lots of thoughts on SyFy’s Defiance, but I have to leave for the airport in about 12 hours (yes, 3am to catch a 6am international flight) so for now I will say give it a try. Defiance’s second episode is better than the pilot From Buffy to Defiance, why Julie Benz likes being a bad-ass Defiance is not as good as SyFy hoped it would be… yet The Real Reason Why Science Fiction Westerns Are Such a Hard Sell The second episode is better than the pilot in terms of story and pacing, so I would recommend going at least that far before deciding whether or not it deserves a trial season pass on your DVR. The 2 hour pilot tried to establish the world of the show, but in many ways seemed to leave out key details that would give you a better understanding of how all these aliens came to be on Earth and why we were peacefully coexisting with a seemingly hostile invasion force. As of the 3rd hour of the show I still don’t have all that sorted out. I’m not sure who the agressor is, or if there even was one. I know there was a war, but I can’t tell who it was against. The main character, Shiny Captain Han Reynolds, is a member of the Defiant Few, a platoon that refused to fight and gave way to the uneasy peace with the 8 different races of aliens who all seem to be from the...
Hard Touching Meat Puppets

Hard Touching Meat Puppets

[STORE UPDATE] Thanks to the diligence of the Blind Ferret team, the HijiNKS Ensue Store is un-hacked, re-upped and back-backed! I’ve lost over a 1/4 of my merch revenue for the month (and Jan/Feb are already slow months) so let’s all go celebrate by BUYING SOMETHING!!! My temporary PRINT SHOP with my BRAND NEW “TESLA UNCOILED” print and many of my most popular large prints is still up and running and probably will be until I return from JoCo Cruise Crazy 3. Get on that mess while you can! Thanks to my friend Kris who helped with the title and some of the dialog for this comic. We had a sleepover and wrote comics in our jammies. I believe our jammy session also resulted in THIS. We’ve been doing some other writing as well that may soon yield… results. SERIOUS RESULTS. COMMENTERS: Have you ever tried to fake your way through a conversation about a topic you knew nothing about? For me, I often laugh at things people say that have the proper cadence of a joke (good timing, good delivery, etc) even if I don’t get the reference. Then if they follow up with, “So you’ve seen that?” I just give a shameful yet stern, “No.” Tags: aliens, football, sports, the...
The Dopest

The Dopest

If you missed the lastest HijiNKS ENSUE comic “White Light, White Heat, White Guilt,” then… don’t. Don’t have missed it. CRUISE FUNDRAISER UPDATE: All 100 “Bridge Collapse prints are sold! Woohoo! They arrive at my house this weekend (a week later than I anticipated) and will start shipping Monday the 20th. I made a new eBook/iBook! It’s called “Sorry I Ruined Your Book Vol. 1”! which is available to anyone for a one time “pay what you like” donation. I had a reader tell me via twitter he was unaware that I had a store where I sold T-shirts and books and such. WELL I CERTAINLY DO. I’m pretty sure I’ve accurately described blood doping in the panels above. You take out your blood, put stuff in it, then reput the blood back in your carcass, thus infusing said YOU with the new stuff. I can only assume this method arrose out of an athletes desire for somewhat plausible deniability. “I never took performance enhancing drugs. I just had all my blood removed, went and ran a few errands and when I came back and put my blood back in there was all these drugs in it. What am I supposed to do? Take my blood out AGAIN and run it through a Brita filter? Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the Olympic Committee, I beseech thee… believe this crazy lie so I can keep doing on these drugs because THEY MAKE ME FEEL INVINCIBLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!! [headbutts the witness stand in half, leaps through the ceiling, runs into then across the ocean, is eaten by a whale] My point is, if Lance Armstrong if guilty of anything it’s...
Dare All The Things!

Dare All The Things!

My home air conditioner died last week (and Texas has decided to be even more of a giant demon-asshole than usual with temps WELL over 100 for the last few weeks) and it’s $5400 to replace. To that end, there are 50 more custom Fancy Sketches available and all donations in August will go straight to the AC fund. Your help and support in this time of RIDICULOUS SWELTERING BULLSHIT is much appreciated. Read more HERE and see some of the recent Fancy Sketches HERE. So how’s about that triumph of the human spirit and what not last night? Pretty impressive indeed. And what about those hairdos in the control room? There was “Fancy Blond Pompadour” and “Original Gangster NASA Hippie Beard” and WHO COULD FORGET “Emo Brohawk Star Head”? I mean, sure we sent a nuclear space truck 160 million miles through the vacuum of space, landed it safely on another planet and received pictures back from it moments later, but HOW DID HE GET THOSE TINY YELLOW STARS ON HIS HEAD?! Science: how does it work, amirite? Joking and silly haircuts aside, GOD DAMN was that ever an impressive feat of human ingenuity! Why is it again that we don’t just let the nerds run everything and solve all the world’s problems? How exactly are the popular, rich, jock assholes still in charge? Can’t we just make a giant space robot and all get inside it and be like, “Hey assholes! Cut it out with the only caring about your own personal wealth and power and stop catering to the most ignorant and fearful by by limiting the civil rights of certain people or we’ll blast...
The Final Countdown

The Final Countdown

The Lil’ Wil Wheaton Plushie Pre-Sale STARTS TODAY HERE in the HE Store. The ONLY way to make sure you get one by the holidays is to order during the pre-sale. They’re $19.95 + shipping. Buy one for you, one for a friend and one to customize with a little fez or horrible spacesuit sweater! Responding to this tweet from @NicaRedHead gave me the idea for this comic. You see, my friend Wil has what science doers call “Hockey Brain.” It is a horribly debilitating condition that causes one to flail about uncontrollably, run around the house screaming and gesture incomprehensibly at the television. As of right now there is no cure and no one is currently working on a cure or doing any research on the subject. Luckily for sufferers and their families, symptoms seem to subside… oh, about right now. Science doers can not explain this sudden onset total remission, because they don’t know what channel the NHL is broadcast on and chances are they probably have it deprogrammed from their cable box anyway. COMMENTERS: Do you or someone you love suffer from Hockey Brain? Can you explain it to me? How many downs are in an inning? Is the goal master allowed to throw his ice mallet like a javelin? Wouldn’t it be easier to play on grass or concrete? Ice seems like it would be quite slippery. I wonder if the Mayor of Sports Puck called to congratulate The Le’ Kings (must be a french team) on their victory against the Othertown Differentcolors. Tags: hockey, lost, sports, tv, wil...
Connecticon 2011 Fancy Photo Comic Part 2

Connecticon 2011 Fancy Photo Comic Part 2

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode. CONVENTION NEWS: San Diego ComiCon is in a week and a half! I will be with Ryan and Lar and Danielle at the Blind Ferret Booth in the Webcomic area. Row 13 I believe. I will have books 1 and 2, prints, sketches and nearly all of my shirts. Thus endeth my Connecticon shenanigans! After the last day of the show, the organizers threw the guests and staff a pasta buffet/bowling party at a place called Bowl-A-Rama. I bowled the best game of my life (a 108), and had an amazing time hanging out with Kris, Rob (Cyanide and Happiness)and Jennie. I partially attribute my all time high score to the addition of a White Russian (Caucasian). The Dude abides, and he knows his bowling drinks. Every time I post these post-con photo comics I get a few complaints to the tune of, “blah blah this is just a bunch of inside jokes that we don’t get mnah blorh this is how I sound because I’m a stupid whiny baby mnahhh.” I make these photo comics for two reasons. A) to make me and my friends (the ones in the comic) laugh while remembering how much fun we had, and B) to give you guys something to look at while I recuperate from the con. So yeah, they are mostly inside jokes, but that was exactly why I started HE in the first place. To entertain my friends. I personally think it would be cool to see how some of my favorite...
This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode. ONLY TWO DAYS LEFT!!! The HijiNKS ENSUE Store will be shutting down for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] If there is a shirt you want, and you DON’T WANT to wait until sometime after San Diego Comicon, you should probably buy it now. This week will be your last chance for a at least a few weeks. Please check out this blog post to see which designs won’t be coming back, in case you want one of those. CONVENTION NEWS: I will be at San Diego Comicon at the Blind Ferret Booth with Least I Could Do, Looking For Group, Gutters, Girls With Slingshots and possibly more. It’s going to be a blast and a frakking half. I can say with certainty that, while I do not share an enthusiasm for any organized sporting contest, I can understand fully why many (most) people do. There’s camaraderie, civic pride, a perceived communal goal, competition, statistics to geek out over, rivalries, drama, etc, etc. The part of “sports enthusiasm” that I can’t even begin to relate to on even the most basic level is the mentality of the vast minority of sports fans where in a particular game doesn’t result in their chosen team winning, and they decide the only way to express their disappointment is to set shit on fire, assault people and destroy public and private property. Not to mention proving to any hyper-advanced alien races who may be watching us that, yes, we are...
Adventures In Self-Imposed Isolation

Adventures In Self-Imposed Isolation

LAST CHANCE FOR “KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY OVIPOSITOR SHIRTS”!!! They are only $15! They will never be printed again, so get ’em while you can. I posted a new Lo-FiJINKS comic just a few hours before this one went up, so you have have missed it. True-ish story: I did watch the [Matt Smith] Doctor Who Christmas special instead of the Superest of Bowls and it was fantastic. I really didn’t think I was going to warm up to Smith after experiencing Tennant, but man he has grown on me like giant, crazy floppy hair. Though I didn’t see the even one second of “The Game,” the commercials or the halftime show, I did enjoy trying to create a mental picture of the whole affair based on what was happening in my Twitter feed. The best I could tell, Rachel from Glee and Christina Aguilera sang a mash up of the national anthem and “Don’t Stop Believin,” The Black Eyed Peas have all been digitized into the Grid and replaced with even less talented robot avatars with cube shaped heads, Groupon did several ads promoting the group savings benefits of genocide, oppression, and other atrocities and apparently the Greenday Packmen outscored the  Philly Cheesesteaks in terms of points. You know the old saying, “he who scores the most points within the allotted time shall be determined the winner.” Truer words, am I right? I’m not trying to be one of those, “I’m too cool for football because I’m a hip internet type, deeply in touch with my own personal brand of irony, etc, etc, blah, blugh.” On the contrary. I understand the rewards that...
The Adverse Effects Of Climate Change

The Adverse Effects Of Climate Change

LAST CHANCE FOR “KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY OVIPOSITOR SHIRTS”!!! They are only $15! They will never be printed again, so get ’em while you can. Thanks for forgiving Monday and Tuesday’s absent comics. My wife and I had been working on Book 2 for 5 days straight with very little sleep and I just didn’t have the energy to create anything else. The good news is we turned the files over to the printer yesterday afternoon and then I went to sleep for 12 hours.  All that’s left is for Canadian book-witches to magic them into existence. Then frost giants will carry them by the pallet to America, and I in turn will ship them out to you. It might be more like early March instead of late February. We’ll see how quickly the Canadian are able to etch each page into living stone and earth (this is the only way Canadians know how to make books). The best news of all is that I was able to accomplish 100% of what I set out to do with the book. I am extremely proud of it, and I think you will enjoy it. You can still PREORDER BOOK 2 if you haven’t already. This will be one of your only opportunities to get an artist edition other than at conventions. Speaking of barren, icy wastelands: IT IS AS COLD AS A WARLOCKS BALLS IN DALLAS! The city, which is supposed to be playing host to nearly a million visitors this week, is for all intents and purposes shut down. People up north talk about us like we’re pussies...
28 Yards Later

28 Yards Later

STORE NEWS: The “Riker?” Shirt will be available for a limited time (until Feb 20th) and 5 other HE shirts are being retired for the foreseeable future and are on sale now for $18. More info in THIS BLOG POST. Every year at Super Bowl time (they do have one every year, right?), I get this feeling like I could go on a looting rampage and no one would notice because the entire country is engrossed in a shared experience that I just dont comprehend. I’m not going to rail against football or sports in general here, because I’m sure most of you have at least a passing interest in an organized sportsmanship match… game, and I have no interest in alienating you all at once with my crotchety ramblin’s. The point of this comic is not to say that I think all football fans are mindless zombies, but rather that Super Bowl season leaves me feeling completely isolated from the rest of country in a way that it very hard to explain. It’s like I’m the one Betazoid who’s telepathy never developed, so everyone around me is communicating without words and I have to use clumsy, fumbling language to try and get a point across. It’s especially hard for me in Texas. When someone asks you which team you are hoping will acquire the most points in the Super Bowl in order to win the match and you reply, “I don’t follow football,” you might as well be saying, “Sorry, my dick was chopped off in a combine accident and subsequently mixed with grain and fed to chickens. Because that’s all my dick’s good...