Calgary Expo 2013 Fancy Sketches


I have returned from North of The Wall with a bag full of Canadian “money.” While I recharge my batteries, please to enjoy a few of the fancy sketches I did for the Calgarian Fancy Bastards.

Intense thanks to Keith for hosting me this weekend, driving me around Calgary and being a generally awesome dude. Additional thanks to the Blind Ferret crew for being my convention home base and taking care of business (every day/every way). Even further thanks to David and Wil for three straight nights of beer-fueled bro-down hangouts.

Now If you’ll excuse me, I need to go exchange all this ridiculous pastel, plastic currency for something I can actually spend. CANADIAN MONEY TRIVIA: All Canadian bills feature photos of actors who portrayed The Doctor in the classic Doctor Who series’ (Sylvester McCoy is on the $10), except for the $20 which features Hellen Mirren.

COMMENTERS: Speaking of The Sarlacc, which minor Star Wars character (from any movie, book or game) do you hope gets a starring role in the new Disney regime and why? If you say Jaxxon, I’m going to reunify all the little bits of Alderaan just so I can punch it to death again.

Comments (38)

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Skintick's avatar

Skintick · 111 weeks ago

I honestly wouldn’t mind seeing a full length feature on Jabba when he was younger (supposedly a bad-ass), Rogue Squadron, or maybe Boba Fett and that is only because the game was pretty cool.
nenslo's avatar

nenslo · 111 weeks ago

The gunner who let go the escape pod with R2D2 & C3PO inside. I always wondered if he was aware afterwards that he alone possessed the power to destroy the rebel alliance and the Light side of the force…
Blarrgl's avatar

Blarrgl · 111 weeks ago

R5-D4 needs a proper, that is to say canon, day in the sun.
lou's avatar

lou · 111 weeks ago

I’m sure there’s plenty of magic superheroes who act like stage magicians. Take Zatanna, who IS a stage magician in her day job, when she’s not rollin’ with John Constantine and Justice League Dark.
Stage magician superhero?
After “The Incredible Hulk”, Bill Bixby did play (kinda) one in the obviously titled “The Magician”…

“You wouldn’t like me when I’m… PRESTO!!!”

Ali's avatar

Ali · 111 weeks ago

Prince Xizor.
gratch's avatar

gratch · 111 weeks ago

It’s a little known fact that the design of Canadian money is based entirely around drinking. We color coded our money so that no matter how drunk you are you can still pay and receive change for your beer. Just hand the nice person behind the bar a purple bill and they’ll give you back a blue one and some coins. Frankly, I’ve always felt sorry for you Americans actually having to look at the numbers.

1 reply · active 111 weeks ago

jiynx's avatar

jiynx · 111 weeks ago

we went ahead and developed these things called ‘credit cards’ and their successor design ‘debit cards’, which function as an electronic key-signature authorizing transfers of money from bank to vendor.

you don’t even need to carry any coins or bills around, either.

ToxicBlade's avatar

ToxicBlade · 111 weeks ago

Dash Rendar

1 reply · active 111 weeks ago

ToxicBlade's avatar

ToxicBlade · 111 weeks ago

because that game was awesome back in the day
lou's avatar

lou · 111 weeks ago

When the alt text said “road trip through the Dune Sea”, I thought of a STAR WARS version of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I suppose Han Solo and Chewie acted like that in their early smuggling days.

1 reply · active 110 weeks ago

tom327cat's avatar

tom327cat · 110 weeks ago

Chewie took over piloting the falcon. I didn’t tell him about the mynocs. He would find out soon enough, poor bastard.
 Stephen's avatar

Stephen · 111 weeks ago

Fett & Sarlaac: We’re off on the Road to Mos Eisley!
Sarlaac: Your jetpack is chafing my hide! (Fett: Tell me about it)
Sarlaac: Whatever heroes we may face we haven’t any fear.
Fett: Sarlaac will digest them for the next one thousand years!
Fett & Sarlaac: We certainly do get arou-ou-ound!
Fett & Sarlaac: Like Luke and Ben Kenobi, we’re Mos Eisley bound!

1 reply · active 110 weeks ago

lou's avatar

lou · 110 weeks ago

Damn that catchy tune!
HikingViking's avatar

HikingViking · 111 weeks ago

I’d like to see Abrams focus the whole movie on a small group of Imperial Guards who go on a revenge mission to take out high-ranking rebels responsible for blowing up the Death Star. Kind of like Munich, in space.

2 replies · active 110 weeks ago

xero's avatar

xero · 111 weeks ago

wouldn’t that be more Valkyrie in space since they would fail
lou's avatar

lou · 110 weeks ago

“Valkyrie in Space” would be more like a cadre of Imperial Officers plotting to overthrow the Emperor and Vader, which has happened at least couple times in the EU.
Jay29's avatar

Jay29 · 111 weeks ago

What’s a “site gag?”

1 reply · active 111 weeks ago

It’s like a pedantic asshole comment, but different.
Admiral Piett. He started as Captain and one strangled Admiral and BAMMO promotion!

Wedge would be cool also and perhaps the son of Porkins, Porky.

Paul Turnbull's avatar

Paul Turnbull · 111 weeks ago

Thanks for the most excellent art Joel! When I had Nathan sign it he sat back a bit and said “Who drew this!!” I directed him to you. You’ve successfully helped me to pleasantly startle someone two years in row.

Come back next year so I can add to my growing collection (Am I allowed to call two a collection?) of celebrity signed art drawn by you.

2 replies · active 111 weeks ago

Oh you had him sign the “2 captains” drawing? Sweet! Post a pic if you can. I hope he dug it.
Paul Turnbull's avatar

Paul Turnbull · 111 weeks ago

Here’s the “2 Captains” signed:

And from last year Wil Wheaton and the Van signed:

Liam's avatar

Liam · 111 weeks ago

Jar Jar Binks
Mr.Torgue's avatar

Mr.Torgue · 111 weeks ago

Kyle Katarn. Abrams may have to rent some explosions from Michael Bay to make it work though.

1 reply · active 111 weeks ago

+1 to this! Those games were the most excited I’d been about Star Wars since pre-prequels.
Not a character? I don’t care. I will watch it if they put an E-Wing in it.

There is no other way I’ll put any more money into this franchise.

I want Luke Skywalker to have a conversation with spirit Yoda.
CalgaryKeith's avatar

CalgaryKeith · 110 weeks ago

Don’t mention it bud! It was a fun weekend.
 Stephen's avatar

Stephen · 110 weeks ago

Thanks to this comic, I am going back and re-reading my expanded universe novels. Might even go back a bit further and read some that I skipped.
DH8's avatar

DH8 · 110 weeks ago

I’m hoping the space marine on a unicorn is an obscure reference to the “X-Play Musical”!!…

1 reply · active 110 weeks ago

It is a reference to how a dude asked me to draw a car riding Robocop, riding a unicorn.

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I thought we were just joking around, but apparently some dudes took the “we should build a murder robot statue” thing pretty seriously. Good for them. I expect the Robocop statue in Detroit will quickly get vandalized with street teens trying to pry open his leg hoping to find a machine gun within.

Another thing: The HijiNKS ENSUE PODCAST Crew makes a cameo in this Guilded Age. I have no idea what’s going on in that comic plot-wise, but the likenesses are great.


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I think the Mayor of Detroit is being a little short-sighted in rejecting a statue of Robocop in his city. From what I can gather from alarmist headlines and hearsay, Detroit is an apocalyptic wasteland governed by packs of stray dogs. The “Mayor” serves at their pleasure and only in a ceremonial capacity. A statue of Robocop right in the middle of downtown would remind the looting and pillaging citizens of the possibility of a brighter tomorrow. A future where, if you commit a crime, a cyborg will shoot you with a machine gun. And what about jobs? Since American cars get 4 miles to the gallon and blow up if you so much as look at them, one can only assume the job situation in The Motor City is pretty dier. Instead of a simple statue, the Robocop tribute could be a full on RocoComplex! Imagine it!  A 400 ft. tall colossus straddling both halves of the city, with floor after floor of housing, government offices, shopping, parking garages, and a 40 story penthouse up in his helmet that overlooks the city from his visor. This could transform Detroit forever. Every day at Noon an Earth-shattering “FREEEEZE DIRRRT BAAAGGGG!” would bellow from his face, letting the city know it was safe from the canine menace below. Oh, yeah… once the people move into the RoboComplex, the wild dogs really start to tear shit up at street level.

Batman and Robin was also filmed here in Dallas. I propose a 40 ft. tall codpiece overlooking the arts district. Who do I talk to about this?


COMMENTERS: What other towns need statues based on their famous movies? How about a Lethal Weapon tribute in L.A.? It could say, “I’m getting to old for this shit,” in Latin under bronze busts of Riggs and Murtaugh. Or maybe a right outside of N.Y.C. and L.A. there can be a granite tribute to Snake Pliskin escaping each city. Personally I want to see a monument to the Ghostbusters bringing the Statue of Liberty to life in Ghostbusters 2 erected on Staten Island on top of the regular Statue of Liberty. Actually it should be just at the edge of Staten Island, stepping into the water. “Your love! Keeps liftin’ me! Your love is liftin’ me, HIGHER AND HIGH-ER!”

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Comicpalooza Houston Fancy Painting Comic: “Robodolphincop”



HijiNKS ENSUE is a comic about geek pop culture. You can get started with comics on TV, Movies, Sci-Fi and Technology. Or you can just browse the Archive. You can see my BOOK and T-SHIRTS in the HE STORE. Thanks!

At the end of the second day of Comicpalooza there was a live art event and silent auction with the proceeds benefitting the Comicbook Legal Defense Fund. I asked the Fancy Tweetstards for something to draw and mashed up a few ideas (namely “draw Robocop” and “draw a dolphin”) to get the above bastardpiece. After drawing the whole thing with pen and marker, Wondermalki! (who also made a painting) encouraged me to try my shaky hand at watercolors. I essentially painted over the entire finished piece with surprisingly positive results. Someday when future historians are restoring this painting they will realize there is an earlier version underneath Watson’s “Mamalia Aquatus Robocopus” and squeem with art-historianish glee.

I found out afterward that the guy who won the auction for my painting was buying it for a Fancy Bastard that couldn’t make it to the show, so I was really pleased than some reader out there now owns the first painting I ever did. I would like to do more. It was oddly soothing and organic. It was like gardening… on paper… with paint… and no plants.

A highlight of the show for me was meeting Dichen Lachman and getting a chance to give her a Sci-Five shirt. I have no idea if she really liked it or if she was just being gracious, but she was extremely friendly and quite beautiful (as if you didn’t know).


Requiem for a Robocop


Comic-Con ’08 Revelations Pt. 3

There’s also a tunnel of light that probably represents a vagina or something.

Aronofsky certainly wouldn’t have been the first name that came to mind when someone mentioned “Robocop.” He’s a fine director to be sure, but arty as the day is long. Each of his films has a very distinctive artistic visual style, which would certainly benefit any sci-fi franchise, but I don’t slot him as an action story teller. That’s probably a good thing. He might be able to take Robocop away from puns and explosions and move it into more of a “Dark Knight” direction of realism and… darkness… and knights.

I wonder how often that conversation is being had in Hollywood right now.
“The project is a mockumentary about florists staring Parker Posey and the dad from American Pie, but gritty… like the Dark Knight.”
“We’ll take two!”

I assumed not enough of you had seen “Pi,” so I left out the RabbiCop jokes.