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Parallelogramps

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CRUISE FUNDRAISER UPDATE: All 100 “Bridge Collapse” prints are sold, signed, packed and shipping as I type. If you ordered, you’ll get a shipping email soon.

Me and Wil Wheaton made some shirts for you to put on your body

I have mixed feelings about the ending of Fringe (warning you now, I will definitely be posting SPOILERS]. On one hand, I LOOOOOVED the show, loved the characters, loved the intricate, interweaving plots and subplots and especially loved John Noble’s mushy grandpa face that he wants me to kiss the cheeks of because he is my crazy science grandpa. On the other hand (and this is coming from someone who just said all of those things that I just said), I think they finished telling the story of Fringe a season ago when they finally realized William Bell was the big bad all along and defeated him.

Every mystery established since the pilot: what’s with all the weirdo science crap happening all over the place, who’s this dude David Robert Jones, and what’s his deal, why is Olivia so special, why is Peter so SUPER special, who are the ZFT and are they the bad guys, who are the observers and are THEY the bad guys, who is William Bell and IS HE the bad guy, what happened to Walter’s brain, what’s the deal with Nina and Massive Dynamic and ARE THEY the bad guy? All of these questions were answered to my satisfaction by the time Olivia took the bullet to the head on Belly’s boat.

Everything that happens after that point (and really everything that happens in the first half of season 4) is basically non-integral to the overall story arch of Fringe. Especially considering all the timeline reboots and in-universe retcons that take place in parts of season 4 and the entirety of season 5, those literally do not effect the plot. That said, I did enjoy nearly every episode of the final two seasons. It was great TV and great Sci-Fi. I’m just not sure that all of it was necessary. The argument could even be made that the last two seasons kind of muddy up the mythos of Fringe and detract more than they add. The showrunner already apologized for the “Peter never existed” plot (which should have been 2, maybe 3 episodes max). If you completely ignore the vanishing Peter aspects of season 4, it makes an appropriate endcap for the series (assuming Peter would have gotten out of the machine alive having healed the mutliverse, instead of teleporting to a future war zone). And the “Observers invasion” final season was quite enjoyable, but it was a completely different story from what seemed like a completely different show. It was a ballsy move (skipping 21 years between TV seasons), but I don’t think it was needed.

The Observers might be the one thing that required a bit more explanation by the time Olivia took the bullet and saved the universe(s) once and for all, but I think they could have tied a nice little bow around their existence with one final scene where either Olivia or Walter are greeted by September, who explains how they are from 600 years in the future and how they’ve been intervening in Walter, Olivia and Peter’s lives in order to make sure the two universes were healed. The end. The “we broke the future so we’re going to conquer the past” just doesn’t feel like anything that was ever really planned for Fringe. It felt tacked on at the end. Blah blah blah, still liked it, yadda yadda.

Fringe has been rerunning on the Science Channel for awhile now. I find that I can’t watch single episodes of the show AT ALL. It’s far too serialized to catch a one-off without a definite plan to continue from that point on. Even the early “monster of the week” episodes bother me as standalone adventures because I know too much and I want the characters to know the same as I do. The most satisfying episodes in terms of rewatchability for me are the ones before Peter disappeared where we were alternating between universes. The contrasts between the Universe-A and Universe-B characters, the story possibilities they explored, all of it was just incredibly satisfying. And Walternate… ooh man he was a fantastic character, due in no small part to how my love for Walter fed into my near hatred and ultimate FRUSTRATION with Walternate. That was some expert writing and acting.

Damn, I guess I sort of wish the show had been cancelled after season 4 after all. Oh well. Considering it was primetime sci-fi and ESPECIALLY considering it was on FOX, it’s safe to say I got more quality entertainment from Fringe than I deserved or should have ever expected.

COMMENTERS: How did you feel about the Fringe finale or the last two seasons in general? If you’ve never watched Fringe, what kept you away? Please tag spoilers in your comments with [SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!!!!!] for the sake of others.

If you used to get HE in your email inbox through Feedburner (a service I stopped using this year because Google stopped supporting it), this service seems to offer the same functionality for free.

Just plugin the HE RSS feed [http://hijinksensue.com/feed/] and your email address.

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La Semana De Los Tiburones

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THE HIJINKS ENSUE STORE IS BACK!!!

Funny T-Shirts, Geeky shirts, Doctor who parody shirts, Team Edward James Olmos shirt, Groverfield Shirt, Sci-Five Star Trek Parody T-Shirt in The HijiNKS ENSUE Store

The newly relaunched HE Store is up and running over at Blind Ferret. Please go check it out and maybe buy a book or a shirt or something. Shirts will begin shipping soon, now that we are all back from Comic-Con.

Alternate Title: Shark Weakness
He’s also been watching a lot of Shark Macgyver, Shark Wheel of Fortune and Shark Friends, the show about 6 friends who live above a coffee shop in New York and also they are sharks.

COMMENTERS: Gimme more Shark shows!


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Gastrological Phenomena

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[Posting this a few days late for my friend Mikey Neumann’s birthday, but let’s all pretend it’s still Saturday. Shhh… nobody tell him.]

My friend Mikey and I lived this comic via Twitter a few days ago, so I decided to draw it up as a birthday present to him. You may know him as the writer of games like Borderlands and the Brothers In Arms Series. He also makes a web series on Escaptist called Anthony Saves The World. It’s got time travel and ninja swords. Check it out.

UPDATE [Tues April 19th]: You’re going to be hearing a LOT about this [from me] in the coming weeks, but I will start now by saying that a project I have had in the back of my mind for a couple of years has finally come to fruition. I have launched Sharksplode.com. It is NOT a replacement for The HijiNKS ENSUE Store. It IS a place that I can put up my more niche, inside, “maybe not for everyone, but definitely for super geeks like us” shirt ideas. First I am adding all of my retired HE shirt designs, then I hope to add a new design or so each week until my “I should totally make a shirt that says…” file is empty. If it is a success I’ll keep it going.

The Doctor Is In T-Shirt

The best part about this news is that you can now order a “The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic. It comes in blue or brown. So go check out the site, read the initial blog post and order you some wearable geekiness that will illicit awkward stares.

[Just a side note, I was up for 30+ hours straight working on the site, getting it working/ready to go, etc. so I am horribly behind on comics at the moment. I appreciate your patience.]

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Yo, DIY! Let’s Kick It!

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“Word To Your Subcontractor.”

When I watched The Vanilla Ice Project (which, as far as I can tell, is a real thing and NOT a practical joke being played on Robert Van Winkle, me or the public as a whole) I never got a clear impression if Mr. Van Winkle (“Vanilla” if you’re nasty) was somehow in charge of  the renovation crew or if he was just one of the dudes making $8.25/hr to hang drywall. I really want to contact the producers of the show, though because some of the crown molding and wainscoting they used seemed eerily similar to the crown molding and wainscoting that Freddy Mercury had installed in David Bowie‘s house 20 years ago and I don’t think they were given proper credit.

PODCAST NEWS!!!
The HijiNKS ENSUE PODCAST IS BACK, but I need your help to keep it alive. The goal is to get 300 monthly donation subscribers by the end of the year. Read more HERE if you enjoy the Podcast and want to help.

DALLAS AREA FB’s!!!
I will be at Star Trek Fan Days in Plano, TX this weekend (10/23-10/24). Riker, Data, Worf, Doc Brown, Draco Mallfoy, Chewbacca and Captain James T. Motherfuckin’ Kirk are going to be there too!

EWOK STARE SHIRTS [based on THIS comic] are  IN THE STORE!

Ewok Stare Shirt
[More info about the shirt HERE]

If you have ever owned a “fixer upper/money pit” as I have, then you know there is a secret language you can speak with others who occupy the same circle of DIY hell. It’s a sort of shorthand where entire sentences are replaced with words like “wet saw,” “sawzall” and “keyhole saw.” It’s mostly about different kinds of saws. Oh, and drills. A lot of the time it’s about drills.

There is also an unspoken component to the communication, not unlike that of 2 people who have served in the same grizzly war. You look into each others dark, mournful eyes as you pass each other in the isles of The Home Depot and know that you have seen the same atrocities, lost the same friends, and each tried renting a stump grinder that one time but it was really more than a regular person can handle. I mean, it’s nearly impossible to start by yourself… you at least need someone else to stabilize it and once it’s going there’s basically no way to control it. More than anything, you each know the limits of what caulk can do and how far a man who has nothing else to lose will go to push those limits beyond all reasonable boundaries.

COMMENTERS: Give me your alternate home improvement related “Ice Ice Baby” lyrics.

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Empty Vee

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Today was very eventful and distracting (thus the crazy late comic), but there are some very good things on the horizon. I will make a proper announcement about one of them on Monday.

Not much to say about this comic. I saw that Mtv had a whole Sunday night line up based on dudes jumping into active volcanos with razor wire tied to their balls. I thought it was worth mentioning if for no other reason than to draw contrast to the Mtv that I grew up with. I used to watch Mtv to… hold on… wait for it… see music videos. Weird I know. I’m not saying they should go back to the way things were. I understand that music videos make more sense for YouTube than THETube nowadays. It’s just startling to see the transformation they’ve undergone in such a short time. I really used to rely on people like Kennedy, Kurt Loder and Matt Pinfield to show me what was going on in the world of music. The internet really made that entire chanel obsolete. I agree they had to evolve or die, but 45 scripted reality shows about sunken-eyed debutards does not entertainment make.

Some day I’ll tell you the story of how VH1 wasn’t always about disease ridden skanks vying for the jock of a washed up 80’s rock star/rapper. It’s true. I swear.