Every Phone Call With Your Mom


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This comic is only SLIGHTLY embellished from completely true events that may or may not have happened, but almost entirely and certainly DID happen to me. If Facebook is the place you go to find out what your friends’ wives’ coworkers think of politics, Mom’s phone calls are where you go to find out who, among the people you don’t know, is now dead.

I think this would be funnier if your parents had dementia and were also comic book fans. Then they’d call you to let you know that the nice billionaire bachelor up on the hill has lost yet another ward under mysterious circumstances. Your mom just hopes he settles down and finds a nice woman. Your mom doesn’t know that he is already in a committed relationship… WITH VENGEANCE


The thing in the alt-text is a true thing that was a part


Ask Not For Whom The Ring Tones


HijiNKS ENSUE At Dallas Animefest

This weekend (STARTING TODAY!) I’ll be at Dallas Animefest with Rob from Explosm. We’ll be in the dealer room, terrified of glomping cat-girls and Sailor Bubbas alike. I’ll have both HE Books, Prints, sketch cards, “Grammar Dalek” Shirts and “The Doctor Is In” shirts.

Podcast Episode 86 “Oh No! Promotheus!” is live.

The site seems to be having RSS feed problems again. Working on it, but for now the Fancy Full Feed for donors seems to be good and rightly borked.

My phone “rings” so infrequently, that when it does I am completely unprepared and incapable of dealing with it. Sometimes I get confused and angry all at once and start yelling, “WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING AT ME ROBOT!? I DON’T HAVE ANY FUEL FOR YOUR INTAKE PORT! BAD ROBOT! BAD!” Other times I get suspicious. The only people I like (my wife and my daughter) are IN THE HOUSE with me. Who the hell else could possibly be trying to talk to me unless they are an enemy agent of THE MOST UNCLEAN trying to trick me into a fiddle contest or a game of Words With Friends with their cloven-hoofed master? Oh Christicles! Is the call coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!?!?!? Did someone sign my 5 year old daughter up for a 2 year commitment calling plan!? WHAT KIND OF DATA PACKAGE DID SHE GET!? EVEN IF THEY SAID IT WAS UNLIMITED, THEY ARE RARELY ACTUALLY UNLIMITED! WHAT DID YOU DO MY DAUGHTER!?

I also have weird hangup about voicemails. I get all of 1, maybe 2 voicemails a month and I NEVER want to check them. I can see the name of the caller, and the time they called, and I can see the length of the voicemail they left. Somehow that seems like it should be enough information to discern their unheard message. What could they have possibly said in 14 seconds that was all that important? “HELP! FIRE! FACE FIRE! FIRE ON FACE!!!” That only took 8 seconds. Something seems fishy. What were they trying to convince me to do with those last 6 seconds? I’d better change my number and never talk to them again. WAIT! How long does it take to invite me to a super fun birthday party with bouncy castles!? FUCK. Only 11 seconds.

COMMENTERS: How has the changing telecommunications landscape altered your phone using habits? Are you annoyed by people that ONLY text or are you one of them? Does anyone use IM services anymore? Do you get frustrated that all of your friends aren’t on Skype video ALL OF THE TIME like you are?