Comicon Uber All Us

Last month the HijiNKS ENSUE Patreon went over $1500, which means 4 new comics a week is in full effect! This is the 4th new HE comic for this week. Here’s hoping I can keep it going. At $2000/mo we hit 5 new comics a week, and that’s when I flee to the desert and hug a cactus until a family of rattlesnakes makes a home in my skull.


I’ve enjoyed being able to share some of the weirdness of traveling to comic conventions with you Fancy Bastards via this story line. The sideways, backwards, wrong way Uber icon thing actually happened to me and Rob Denbleyker from Cyanide and Happiness at SDCC. We just stood on the street corner watching the icon twist and turn, go through buildings and circle back the wrong way. The part about the lady attendant in the men’s room was actually a thing I freaked out about at SDCC, though I did manage to keep my composure. It didn’t care that it was a lady in the men’s room. I paused for a second, thinking I was in the wrong place, but it certainly wasn’t the idea of a strange lady looking at my back while I pee that worried me. I simply cannot come to terms with the concept of bathroom attendants in general.

So many questions come to mind. Are they just standing there silent staring at urinals when no one is in there? Are they relieved or annoyed when someone does arrive? How do they feel about doing a completely unnecessary job  that actually ads multiple levels of complexity and confusion to a very simple process? Washing your own hands and grabbing a paper towel out of a dispenser is an uncomplicated process. It’s also the culmination of what is, for most, a PRIVATE activity. Introducing an addition human being between you and the hand washing apparatus is orders of magnitude more convoluted than NOT doing that for everyone involved. I want to tell them to let me do it myself, but that somehow seems rude. What if you ran into the bathroom to have a horrific emergency type toilet experience and then came out and had to face a pretty, smiling women who knows EVERYTHING you just went through? Should she pat you on the back and offer condolences? Should she avert her eyes and shame you for your misdeeds?  What about the ones that try to sell you things? Candy, cologne and condoms: The 3 C’s of bathroom attending. Who in their right mind would buy toilet candy from a bathroom lady? What if she was in no way identified as an employee of the establishment?  Would you buy food from a strange women who was hanging out in the men’s room? EVERYTHING about bathroom attendants give me cause for alarm and distress. 

[UPDATE 8/26/14]
I won’t be using Uber again until they publicly disavow their anti-competitive practices and apologize for “Project SLOG.”

Uber, on the other hand, is a fucking magical dream (despite the app glitch depicted in this silly comic). Traveling from city to city and con to con for the last 7 years has taught be a lot about the misery of public transportation. I’ve stood in the rain for 30+ minutes, frantically trying to hail a NYC cab only to have it snatched out from under me by some cab-sniper ranting and raving about how he saw it first, from his vantage point around the corner and behind a bush. With Uber, you set up your account (takes about 3 minutes), then press THE button, the ONLY button in the app. The button that says, “Send a driver to my current GPS location (or the location of my choosing if I want to move the little location dot over to the street corner or whatever), and have them be in a clean and newish car, and show me on a map exactly how far away they are and every turn they make along the way, and text me when they get here. Also make them have my number to call me in case they have a hard time locating me, or if I’m drunk and I tell them I’m at 4th and B, when I’m actually at 4th and E (which is a thing I did). And just for grins, let me rate their performance when they’re done to weed out the shitty drivers from the system.” Like I said, It’s a god damn “We live in the glorious future” amazing miracle service. We used it exclusively in San Diego this year and it made EVERYTHING about a normally untenable situation (getting to and from the Convention Center each day) a delight.

Uber is a disruptive technology that is clearly superior to traditional cab companies in every way, which is why traditional cab companies are so scared of them. I say to the cab companies, Improve your service, compete instead of shut out, or watch me laugh as you are BURNED TO THE GROUND.  This year at SDCC, me and Dave from Cyanide & Happiness had this one driver who played us “Funkytown” and The Gap Band and told us stories about riding around in his custom van, listening to The Gap Band and smoking weed when he was a young man. He was our angel and I’ve missed him every day since.


Man It’s So Loud In Here

Last month the HijiNKS ENSUE Patreon went over $1500, which means starting right now there will be 4 new comics a week! Thank you all so much for the support!


This is me at the end of every comic convention, but especially at the end of SDCC. There’s nothing like being in a VIP room (that you somehow got into because you know a guy who know’s a girl who worked on that one show with that other girl…), with an open bar, packed to the rafters with celebrities both legitimate, internet and otherwise and wanting NOTHING more than to hug your family and crawl into your own bed. The best party is almost ALWAYS on the last night and the last night is almost ALWAYS when you’ve lost all enthusiasm for partying.

This is certainly a charmed problem to have, but my goal is to share some honest truths about my weird life while also being somewhat entertaining. Hence my relating the mostly entirely true story of trying to convince my friends to leave the VIP Mythbusters party (in which Guillermo Del Toro and the Korean dude from LOST were in attendance… so was Skrillex, but that’s a different story all together.) and catch an Uber back to our hotel so we get could a good night’s sleep before our flight home the next morning. Home is where the heart is, and home is where the butt goes. Put that butt at your home. It goes there. It wants to be there. Put it there.

TARDIS Necklace from Science & Fiction

tardis necklace on etsy from science and fiction


It’s Japanese For “I Sing Better When I’m Drunk”

I’ve heard the same said about driving.

We had a Karaoke party on Saturday for my wife’s birthday. Denise posted the pics here. Most of what you see in the comic actually happened, though the people may have been jumbled around a bit (and a few were left out due to “more people = more drawing” math.

Introductions: The bespectacled fellow in panel 1 is Justin (from Podcast 17ish?) whom I’ve known since we were 6. Panel 3 features Mikey (Josh’s old room mate and writer of the “Brother’s in Arms” games). The guy winning the beard contest in panel 4 is Rick (a coworker of Josh and Eli’s who is, sadly, moving away soon. It was only fitting to memorialize his time in Texas with a comic). And finally in panel 4 you have Jen gently caressing/bad touching Josh. When those two get together you would almost think Josh was straight or Jen was a gay man.

High point of the night was Josh singing “Bare Necessities” from the Jungle Book and realizing the unfortunate homonym in the title. Emphasis on HOMOnym.

The very same Justin in panels 1 and 4 is relaunching his podcast, Gentlenews Live!, tonight at 8:31pm central. Go HERE at that time to watch the live video feed and join in on the chat.

Cerveza Libre

And now you know. Eli’s parents are both Luchadores. Wait, is this character development? God I hope not.

This comic has elements of truth in it. There WAS a party sponsored by Josh and Eli’s work to promote their new game. , and I WAS invited (as were all of you…  you just didn’t know it). Apparently they had a famous jazz musician providing entertainment.

Speaking of his sordid comic past, Eli and I actually came up with a pretty good back story. You see, he comes from a long line of Mexican Wrestlers. He shamed his parents by going to art school instead of following in the family business. His father is forced by honor to continue wrestling until the day his son can take over his mask and mantle.

Here’s your challenge: Come up with Eli’s parents wrestling names, and additional back story including rivalries, lineage, etc. If I like it, your ideas might become HE canon. Post your contributions in the comments.



Check out the first 16 pages of sketches of my abandoned syndicated newspaper style comic about a boy and his robot circa 1999/2000.

Subscribers and donors can check it out in the Vault. You can also download desktop wallpapers and listen to Podcast Post Shows.

Support HijiNKS Ensue with your Donation!

The Host’s Lament

Despite what this comic would lead you to believe (who writes this thing anyway?), my birthday party was a smashing success. Thanks in part to the Fancy Bastards who shared in the festivities via live video stream. It was pretty amazing feeling like there were dozens of people watching the shitty movies with us.

Thanks to everyone that came in person and every one else that interwebbed the trons.

Today’s comic is the first one I ever live streamed as it was created. The Fancy Bastards kept me entertained and focused for 7 hours as this thing came together.

You can see videos of “The HijiNKS Ensue Webcomicocalypse” here. I’ll try and edit them together then speed them up for a time lapse type of thing later (assuming I can download them from Ustream).