You’ve Got A Friend In Me

Friend to HE Jon Rosenberg has a new comic called “Scenes From a Multiverse.” It has pretty pictures and nerdy words. It’s like Goats, but minus the 12 years of continuity to catch up on. You will enjoy it.

Toy Story 3 is the best film of 2010 and the best Pixar film to date. The end.

It was perfect. I don’t care that it’s animated, or aimed at kids or CG or that it has one extra dimension. That movie is a gee-dee masterpiece of story telling. I cried real human-style tears for at least the last 15 minutes.

[Science Fiction TV-Movie Title Generator T-Shirt @Topatoco!!!
There is also a PRINT of this design too!]

SciFi SyFy Tv-Movie Title Generator Shirt


I’m not going to do a full review, but I do want to list a few things that I especially enjoyed and others that pushed Toy Story 3 past Pixar‘s typical fabulousness and straight into “Best Picture Oscar” territory:

  • The entire opening sequence. I haven’t laughed that hard at another movie this year.
  • The improv toy troop
  • Ken
  • Spanish Buzz. “El Vaquero!”
  • Mr. Tortia Head
  • TheĀ incineratorĀ scene. I completely forgot I was watching a cartoon at that point.
  • Lotso’s complete lack of redemption
  • Woody’s realization that he had to let Andy go
  • Andy’s “one last play” with the toys

Buh! I’m starting to mist up again. I better go Watch the first 8 minutes of Up! so I can calm d…BLOOOHOOOO HOOOHOOOO HOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!

Please share your thoughts on Toy Story 3 in the comments. Try to keep SPOILERS to a minimum but be warned that THE COMMENTS MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!!!!!

More Than Should Ever Meet The Eye

[reddit-me]Not content with simply giving the world robot pissing, robot farting and robot dicks (that shoot lasers), Sir Michael Bay (not really a knight) decided “Transformers 2” wouldn’t be complete with robot balls. That’s classy film making right there. Michael Bay doesn’t really have to respect us as an audience, though. He continually shovels shit down our throat holes with a Cybertronian Mecha-Shovel and we thank him with millions and millions of dollars, ensuring even more frequent and violent throat shovelings in the future.

Anyway, Josh live-Twittered “Transformers 2.” Here it is unabridged. !!!POTENTIAL SPOILERS!!!

  • Starting transformers2. Liveblog ahoy! Harry potter 6 trailer now.
  • First transform most visually confusing thing I’ve seen in my life. 2 awful one liners.
  • Sound design is bizarre. Like half the sounds are missing.
  • Aaaaaand we have dog humping.
  • I’ve now seen robot dick and robot farting.
  • Camera just spun for almost a full minute.
  • It just dawned on me. I have no idea what is going on.
  • Innappropriate parental drug use.
  • And we have lapdance
  • Holy shit. First actually funny joke.
  • Wait. Why are we on Saturn?!?!?
  • I never thought I would feel sorry for Shia lebeef. I was wrong.
  • Nobody told me there were cylons in this movie.
  • They just drove out the door of a factory in the middle of the city and were instantly in the middle of the forest. What?
  • It was just daytime in Paris and the middle of the pacific at the same time.
  • Holy racist robots batman
  • Wow. Jockstrap shot even *I* didn’t want to see.
  • Standing in mid DC. Walk into a building. Walk out of building into fields surrounded by mountains. WTF
  • Ladies and gentlemen. We have midget.
  • Like 40 people have survived epic crashes. WTF.
  • BALLS!
  • I’m done. Sam just went to robot heaven. Seriously?
  • That was better than Terminator Salvation.

I’d like to point out that I in no way endorse TruckNutz[tm]. I link to them only that you may know the enemy and fear it.

You’ve got the touch. You’ve got the power.

I asked Josh what he thought of the Transformers movie. He said, “Holy shit! It’s one of my top 10 favorites! The final battle with Unicron was fucking life changing. I mean c’mon. Eric Idle as Wreck-Gar!? Fuck Yeah!”

“No, the new one. The Michael Bay one.”

His verbatim response is chronicled in the adjacent panels. Also, the gear-mangled, chewed-up remains of one Mr. Lebeouf is a far less desirable prize to keep in one’s chest than the Autobot Matrix of Leadership.

I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I hear an Xbox-ticon rapes some dude’s face off. So there’s that.

This comic was originally going to feature Spike (of Spike and Sparkplug fame). Perhaps you need to read up on the Witwicky family. Child protective services should have removed Spike from that household. Not only was he a teenager forced to work on an oil refinery platform, but he was encouraged to spend his free time embroiled in a cybernetic civil war for galactic conquest. They eventually gave him a job on the moon. I shit thee not. The moon.