The Zooquels


“Winter Is Coming” shirts are now IN THE STORE!!! [based on this comic]

Eventually they release a Zoo movie called W3 Bough7 4 2oo, but no one can tell if it’s a prequel or  a sequel. It stars Vin Diesel.

This doesn’t qualify as an actual Wheaton comic dare, since Wheaton merely suggested I do something I was already going to do and did not invoke the “DARE” command. Our relationship is complex and rife with arbitrary rules.

I’m sure We Bought A Zoo is a fine film about a man that probably buys a zoo, and in fixing up the zoo realizes he is actually fixing himself, or is family or whatever. That said, I had a ridiculous amount of fun dreaming up sequels for it on Twitter a few nights ago. Here are some of my favorites:

We Bought Zoo 2: We Just Can’t Stop Buying Zoos
We Bought A Zoo 2: I’m Going To Flip This Zoo After The Market Rebounds
We Bought A Zoo Too: Who’s Going To Fock All These Zebras? (a sequel to panel 2 above)
We Bought A Zoo Too: A Kangaroo Ate Robin Williams. Fock This Zoo. (a sequel to THAT sequel to panel 2 above)
We Bought a Zoo 3: You Bought ANOTHER Fucking Zoo?! God Damn It. (via @southworth)
We Bought a Zoo 3: There aren’t even 3 zoos within driving distance! We have lost everything to your zoo problem! EVERYTHING!
We Bought A Zoo 2: Zoolander 3
We Bought A Zoo 2: Clearly We Did Not Think This Through. There Is Puma Shit Everywhere And Most Of The Animals Have Died
Oui, Bought A Zoo: We Bought A Zoo in France (via @BillCorbett)
We Bought A Zoo 2: The Zoo Is Coming From Inside The House! Our House Is Literally A Zoo! No Joke! Stop Calling, We Are Closed!

COMMENTERS: Keep it going. Give me your Zooquel title. Alternately, assume the next Zooquel is an action movie and give me your worst zoo-related one liners.

It being holiday-type times and all, I thought I would mention that I have an Amazon wish list. It mostly consists of Blu-Rays right now, since I finally got a Blu-Ray player (mostly to more conveniently stream Netflix). So there’s that if you are interested. If you’d like to send a card or anything else for that matter, the mailing address is on the contact page.