My Hands Felt Just Like Two Balloons


I’ve been sick for the last few days. This particular recurring, seasonal illness bares such a resemblance to both A) A REALLY bad allergy attack and B) actual viral illness that I never really know what I have. Luckily the treatment for both is the same. Lots of sleep, fluids, procrastination of work-related responsibilities, complaining and Seinfeld reruns. So that’s how I’ve been spending my time. Oh, and I also made you:

Episode 88 – Wizardo And The Hot Dog Guy. Listen to the ep, then check out Alex’s fancy Photoshoppery which deftly illustrate one of our bits.

To get into more about exactly how miserable I am, I would like to explain how unbearably shitty I feel. Sometimes (often in fact) my cat, Replay, will eat his dry food so fast that he almost immediately throws it up on the carpet. Never one to let a hot meal (how NOW, anyway) go to waste he usually gobbles down nearly all of the pre-eaten partially digested mess then goes about his marry way. These 12 hours naps aren’t going to take themselves, you know. I say he re-eats NEARLY all of the food, because he usually leaves somewhere between 10 and 15 nuggets of food to resolidify on the floor and become one with the carpet’s collective hive mind. I feel like THAT food. I feel like I have been eaten, thrown up, left to stew in my own juices and a healthy portion of feline bile for a few minutes, then nibbled at and pushed around with a coarse cat tongue for a few minutes, only to be ultimately judged unworthy of a second eating and left to crack and dry on the unforgiving carpet never to fulfill my purpose. The rejection at the end it what really seals the deal in determining which is worse: The twice eaten food, or the once eaten, once vomited, eternally rejected food.

In the next comic I think I’ll get into how much of a mistake it was to take a handful of allergy meds AND cold meds at the same time, hoping they would just figure it out for themselves. Listen to the podcast linked above to hear what I sound like while trying to forge coherent thoughts under their influences. This will be a short storyline. 3 or 4 comics at most.

COMMENTERS: What’s the worst thing you ever had to do while sick? Or rather, what’s the thing that you did that you REALLY should have stayed home from due to illness?


How Sparks McGee Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Mars Curiosity Rover


Podcast Episode 86 “Oh No! Promotheus!” is live.

Fine citizens, as you enjoy your hotted dogs, hamburger sandwiches and frisbee tossings and such on this finest of Labored Days, please also enjoy this Fancy Sketch filler art situation! Actual illustrated comic’d jocularities to resume POST HASTE!

If you are unfamiliar with the legend of Sparks McGee, then you may  attempt to enjoy this sketch (which was originally commissioned by Fancy Bastard Marijn R. during the Fancy Sketch Drive) by knowing only that it depicts Wesley Crusher in a cowboy hat and aviators riding the Mars Curiosity Rover. See? Fun abounds.

If you with to know more about young Ensign McGee, then I suggest you read Wil’s explanation of his origins, and Sparks’s continuing adventures.  For the totally uninitiated who find themselves far too busy to click links and read words, Sparks McGee is Wesley Crusher’s cocky alter ego who always gets the girl, always saves the day and always puts the adults in their place. If Captain Picard gives him a sideways glance, he tells that bald bastard EXACTLY where he can stick his Ressikan Flute.



Dare All The Things!


My home air conditioner died last week (and Texas has decided to be even more of a giant demon-asshole than usual with temps WELL over 100 for the last few weeks) and it’s $5400 to replace. To that end, there are 50 more custom Fancy Sketches available and all donations in August will go straight to the AC fund. Your help and support in this time of RIDICULOUS SWELTERING BULLSHIT is much appreciated. Read more HERE and see some of the recent Fancy Sketches HERE.

So how’s about that triumph of the human spirit and what not last night? Pretty impressive indeed. And what about those hairdos in the control room? There was “Fancy Blond Pompadour” and “Original Gangster NASA Hippie Beard” and WHO COULD FORGET “Emo Brohawk Star Head”? I mean, sure we sent a nuclear space truck 160 million miles through the vacuum of space, landed it safely on another planet and received pictures back from it moments later, but HOW DID HE GET THOSE TINY YELLOW STARS ON HIS HEAD?! Science: how does it work, amirite?

Joking and silly haircuts aside, GOD DAMN was that ever an impressive feat of human ingenuity! Why is it again that we don’t just let the nerds run everything and solve all the world’s problems? How exactly are the popular, rich, jock assholes still in charge? Can’t we just make a giant space robot and all get inside it and be like, “Hey assholes! Cut it out with the only caring about your own personal wealth and power and stop catering to the most ignorant and fearful by by limiting the civil rights of certain people or we’ll blast you with our massive laser arm cannon!”

My only regret is that NASA didn’t refer to this mission as “Operation Get Ya Ass Ta Mars.” What a wasted opportunity. Still, it warms my heart to see a bunch of nerds science a thing into space just so humanity as whole can be smarter. It’s nice to see millions of dollars being spent on an endeavor that won’t earn anyone millions of dollars. The wealth we’ll gain from this mission is intangible and immeasurable. I can’t wait to see the photo of the first human on Mars standing next to the broken down hull of the Curiosity. That is, assuming we don’t stop space exploration all together before then or just completely blow ourselves up.

COMMENTERS: Did you watch the Mars Curiosity landing? What are your feelings on the current state of and potential future of space exploration? Did you see that one professional science doer with the mohawk and the head stars? What was up with that?