No Child Left Alive

Here’s another redraw/recolor of one of my FANEURYSM strips. The original is here.




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“Now, I know you’re a little apprehensive about sending your child to Hogwarts, but let me assure that our mortality rate is well within the guidelines for other reputable wizarding schools in Europe and Asia. Mortality rate… yes. The likelihood that your child will die or otherwise be rendered irreparably cursed, hexed or transfigured while in our care. What IS that rate? Like I said, it’s well within the standard… well, it’s… it’s around 30% NOW I know that seems high, but I promise you it is well within… yes, of course. No, I understand. It’s just with every single one of us, teacher and student, adult and child, carrying the power to kill with but a flick of the wrist and a a couple of odd words one has to expect a certain level of… no, I wouldn’t use that word. Well, because MURDER is a very particular word and I believe what happens here is more akin to… well OF COURSE you would bring HIM up. Yes, he was VERY murdered. Yes, horrifically so. Yes, all of the other students saw it. Well, because it happened right here in the great hall during lunch. I don’t know, I suppose he wanted to make an example of the little… yes, I’ve heard that about American wizarding schools as well. Honestly I don’t see how they could be teaching proper magic if THAT many children survive each year.”

If you like Harry Potter, you might like the podcast I do with my 8 year old daughter called Potter And Daughter. We recap each book about 6 chapters at a time as she reads through the series. Right now we’re in the middle of book five. It’s cute.


Reasonable Restriction

Last year for Halloween, Kiddo was Raven from Teen Titans. We made a photo comic about it. This year she was Hermione Granger and it was crazy cute.

Speaking of Harry Potter, I’ve reshuffled my Patreon rewards so that the Potter and Daughter Podcast is unlocked at $1750 instead of $2000. We’ve already recorded 4 or 5 episodes and I’m anxious to get it out in the world.


potter and daughter podcast logo hijink ensue

When my Patreon reaches $2000/month  $1750/month I’m going to release a new podcast where upon I interview my 7 years old daughter as she reads through the Harry Potter series. It’s called Potter And Daughter! More details HERE.

I’ve also made some other changes to my Patreon rewards to make them a little more realistic and fair to those of you who are pledging. To date, I have failed miserably at making more than 3 comics a week. Even though we passed the 4 comics a week goal months ago, I’ve never managed to do it with any reliability. Just thinking about this stresses me out to the point that I can barely get 3 comics made. So I’ve moved that goal further down the line and replaced it with the “Redesign the website with bigger comics and better features” goal, which means the website redesign is automatically unlocked.

I’m really looking forward to this one, because the comics will be bigger, the layout with nicer, the comic navigation will be easier, and the different types of comics will be much simpler to find. I’m also going to reintegrate the old HE podcast into this website, and make a space for future podcasts like Potter And Daughter. I will also be revamping the patron-only RSS feed to show full sized comics even when it’s a non HijiNKS ENSUE comic (like a convention sketch or a Faneurysm comic).

Live By The Sword


Funny T-Shirts, Geeky shirts, Doctor who parody shirts, Team Edward James Olmos shirt, Groverfield Shirt, Sci-Five Star Trek Parody T-Shirt in The HijiNKS ENSUE Store

The newly relaunched HE Store is up and running over at Blind Ferret. Please go check it out and maybe buy a book or a shirt or something. Shirts will be shipping after we all get back from Comic-Con.

I saw Deathly Hallows Part 2 over the weekend with my wife. This is the first Harry Potter movie (maybe the 2nd) we’ve seen together since she finished reading the entire series. We’ve always been super compatible. We never argue, we want the same things, we like the same shows, but now… now that she’s ready Harry Potter… I feel like we finally speak the same language. We finally understand each other. [Some joking may have been involved in that last statement. Some.]

Despite the 4 year old kicking the back of my seat for nearly the entire film (SERIOUSLY?! Who brings a 4 year old to a movie with such nightmare inducing imagery and extreme violence? Way to go awesome parents!), I was completely satisfied with the ending to franchise. As the comic above shows (in stark contrast to my sentiments from this comic), Neville finally came into his own as a character. There has always been this shadow over his head of “I could have totally been the chosen one, if Voldemort had carried the 1 instead of dividing by 2.” He lived through an equally life shattering childhood tragedy and the only real difference between him and Harry was that everyone was constantly telling Harry how great he was and/or trying to kill him. Neville might have made a better chosen one than Mr. Potter had he been given the chance, but that sort of illustrates the point of the entire story, isn’t it? Harry wasn’t all that special until Voldemort made him special. Who we are and who people think we are/expect us to be are rarely the same person. Harry’s entire life was a series of terrible things happening and him somehow trying to find the will to move forward. The only way to know if Neville would have made the choices or “done it in 4 books” instead of 7, would be to go back 18 years and have Voldemort visit his house instead of Harry’s. Weird rant: over.

The thing I love so much about Harry Potter is that it makes me think about things like the previous paragraph. It makes me dwell on character motivations, strengths, flaws, etc. I think the hallmark of a great story is how many questions you ask after finishing it, not out of frustration, but out of a desire to know more about the world you were just visiting. For instance, just 2 days ago I had a conversation on twitter about why Draco is such a miserable piece of shit. Now that the movies are done I feel the same sort of diminished anticipation I did after finishing the books. A sort of “now what?” type of emptiness.

A few things about the movie itself: Every single time Raplh Fiennes opens his mouth, his presence dominates the scene. Ever line he delivers has such gravitas. The way he delivers the killing curse is so guttural and powerful. Kind of like, “AVARDAGHHH KADAAAGHGHGHGHGH!!!!” CG enyoungened Snape is not NEARLY as creepy has CG enyoungened Jeff Bridges. CG/Prosthetically beoldended Harry looked pretty decent. Ginny still looked 12. I know wizards just pretend technology doesn’t exists, but if just one of them picked up a gun I have a feeling the duels wouldn’t last nearly as long. Speaking of duels: the “clashing wands” green and red effect from these movies is one of my favorite special effects of all time. It carries so much more impact that “my light beam and your light beam are stuck together.” It’s like molten rock spilling out of the air. Just perfect. Are there wizarding public schools? These fancy Hogwarts kids only see their family’s for 2 months out of the year for 7 years. That seems insane.

I cried at least 4 times during Deathly Hallow Part 2. I’m so glad they broke this one up rather than leave a ton of essential plot elements out. It was a really fantastic end to the series.

San Diego Comic-Con is this week! I will be with Ryan and Lar and Danielle at the Blind Ferret Booth [Booth 1332] in the Webcomic area. I will have books 1 and 2, prints, sketch cards, stickers and nearly all of my shirts.

If you are going to be at the show, please come by booth 1332 and say hi. I will be the one going on 2 hours of sleep and propping my self up against Lar deSouza.

The Boy Who Landscaped

The Doctor Is In T-Shirt

“The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here! - Geeky Nerdy T-Shirts, Funny Tee Shirts

Alternate Title: Peaches and Herbology

Then, right as Neville lifts the Sword of Gryffindor above his head, his parents appear to him in an apparition and say, “Neville, it is ussssss. Yourrrr craaaazzzzzy parennnnts. We might be insaaaaaane from toture and locked away in St. Mungoooos, but even we knooooooowwww you aren’t good enough to defeat… well, anythinnnnnng. Put down that sword and look for a nice place to curl up in a ballll and diiiieeeeee. Let Harry and Hermione take care of the harrrrrrd stuuuuuuuff. Also, why are we talking like ghooooossssts? We’re perfectly aliiiiive, if not totally insaaaaaane.”

COMMENTERS: How excited are you for Deathly Hallows Pt. II? Oh, you aren’t excited? You don’t like Harry Potter? Or you like the books, but not the movies? You should probably go away so we can have our fun.

A NEW THING!!! I have launched It is NOT a replacement for The HijiNKS ENSUE Store. It IS a place that I can put up my more niche, inside, “maybe not for everyone, but definitely for super geeks like us” shirt ideas.

HEY! Check out this interview I did for Hollywood Jane.