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It Puts The Black Mock Turtleneck On Its Skin

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Sorry. I watched “Hannibal” last weekend. Hannibal Lecter is my favorite fictional villain of all time. I’ve always said, “If I have to be murdered and eaten, I want Hannibal Lecter to be the one to do it.” You know why? One word. Class.

Not only is Steve Jobs NOT giving the keynote speech at Macworld 2009, but Apple says it’s the last one they’re ever going to attend. That’s like not showing up to your birthday party, but hoping all our friends will still have a good time.

If this is the last hurrah of old Steve, I really don’t see Apple being the same company without him. He’s not God (he’s Jesus), but he IS the driving egomanaiacal force behind their success in the last decade. They should download his brain into an OS X sever and allow his essence to live on forever in the Pixar film of his choice. I say “Wall-E.” He can be Messiah to all the fat lazy humans and guide them in rebuilding Earth. He’ll rule with a Brushed aluminum fist… until they come out with a shiny black plastic fist… and then a better unibody brushed aluminum fist cut from a solid block of… he’ll be getting a new hand every six months.