Field Sobriety Test

The big giant mega blowout HE Store sale is over, and we are putting the final touches on the new HE store which will hopefully launch tomorrow HERE.

UPDATE ON THE FANCY DIGITAL SKETCH DRIVE: If you are still waiting on your Fancy Digital Sketch, I am SUPER BACKLOGGED on these. I am very sorry it’s taking so long. Doing 50+ original pieces of finished art always sounds easy, until you agree to do it and take money for it. I am working through them, but if you need yours urgently, feel free to let me know via email.

Joel is headed home so I guess we’re about to meet his wife. Hear that, ACTUAL WIFE? I’m about to draw you in a comic or whatever! Let the record she that she did not protest. Let the record ignore that she is asleep because it’s 4:30 am. Things you whisper alone into the dark are totally admissible in court.

COMMENTERS: By virtue of being married to me and being totally supportive of my creative endeavors, my wife has sort of obligated herself to appearing in the comic. She’s had 6 years to get used to the idea, so I can’t say it will be that much of a shock. That is, until I get to the LEGEND OF THE ULTIMATE ROBOBEAST: ORGY WAR 2068 storyline later this year. What are the unwelcome obligations and perks that come along with your spouse or significant other’s job/profession/whatever? Does their job give you free travel all over the world? Perk! Does their job require free travel to New Jersey? Less of a perk!


This is my wife’s birthday week! Celebrate it by buying yourself a present from her Etsy store “Science and Fiction.” Check out her her latest geeky creation, a Pacman inspired necklace!

Pacman Necklace on Etsy


Comments (17)

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Neph Sy's avatar

Neph Sy · 89 weeks ago

He has the unwelcome obligation of helping with many facets of my business as an unpaid helper. Being a schlepper, and driver for 6-13 hour drives is probably the worse of it. I’m so lucky!

His previous job had great perks for my business; free photocopies, access to free dial up after business hours, a free laptop that no one wanted (it was so old, and permanently locked into a charging station base). Free trip to San Diego once. Health insurance.

Cdogg's avatar

Cdogg · 89 weeks ago

My husband is a philosophy professor, so he gets free trips to conferences once or twice a year, so we just need to buy me a ticket and we have an almost free vacation! We went to Vancouver and Edinburgh last year, which I definitely call a perk.

But, on the other hand, I’m married to an over-educated man who spends his days with annoying undergrads and gets paid to argue, so that can be a bit of a pain in my ass… 🙂

PokeyPuppy's avatar

PokeyPuppy · 89 weeks ago

Husband’s job requires a TON of travel, which is not a perk for me – he’s gone a lot. But every time we travel, free air travel & hotel stays in swanky rooms from all his points, so that is a GREAT perk!

I have a bookstore, so his marriage perk is access to tons of books for cheap-or-free, which in our household is a major deal. Books everywhere…

Her job gets us a discount on fuel to drive around and visit people/places more (which if you know what fuel costs in the UK, is pretty handy).

My job gets her free access to pretty much any decent gig when her favourite bands come to town…

In about 2 months we get medical, vision, and dental coverage which is a huge god damned perk, and before that he’s finally making enough money I can actually see a dentist for some emergency stuff. Huge perks. Downside? he works 12-15 hour shifts 5 days a week so I get no help around the house and our kid frets about how much he misses his dad. My husband’s perk for marrying me is that I’m a tolerable housewife, really good cook, and can keep things functioning when he’s away. Downside for him is that I’ve been in severe pain for several months and lash out in a furious rage when anyone tries to touch me.
The hubs works in Physical Therapy, so he basically fixes whatever is wrong with my apparently aged-before-it’s-time body. Wonky hip, neck pain, shoulder pain, I just point, grunt, and hiss ‘dooooo sooooomethiiing’ and he fixes me up.

The downside is I’m also the guinea pig for any new ‘techniques’ he wants to try out before he inflicts his patients with new torturous ways of making you ‘feel better’. Many have left me writhing in pain. But hey! Being able to turn my head 360 degrees is super-useful now!

PokeyPuppy's avatar

PokeyPuppy · 89 weeks ago

Definitely – shouldn’t be considered a “perk,” should be something everyone has! Stupid health care system *grumble grumble*
Neph Sy's avatar

Neph Sy · 89 weeks ago

I’m Canadian, just because we have “free” healthcare doesn’t mean everything is free.

It’s still good to have separate private health coverage for medication, eyecare, dentistry, therapy, hospital stays…etc.
Medication costs for some illnesses or conditions are major!

Justplainsomething's avatar

Justplainsomething · 89 weeks ago

I have one of her Quidditch necklaces and it is PRETTY.

1 reply · active 89 weeks ago

Really glad you like it.
lou's avatar

lou · 89 weeks ago

When one of my parents goes out of town for business for a week or more, they both go and make a mini-vacation out of it. Last year, my mom had a conference to go to in Germany and the Czech Republic, and Dad went along because of their centuries-old breweries, bringing home the beer steins and bottle openers to prove it. To quote Liz Lemon, “I want to go to there!”
I’m a massage therapist. I think my girlfriend appreciates this muchly.

Shame we live a state apart and all.

1 reply · active 89 weeks ago

this is the perk to end all perks as far as Im concerned.
My other half and I both work at the same University, so I get car rides and the occasional middle of the day hug. It’s nice.
rostheskunk's avatar

rostheskunk · 28 weeks ago

Mmmm Solyent Green Mountain Dew.

Jaeger Bomb

Wil and I made you a Sparks McGee T-Shirt! 

sparks mcgee t-shirt wil wheaton sharksplode

Confused? Of course you are! Read up on Sparks McGee and his awesome adventures.

Guys, please go see Pacific Rim. Let’s cancel this film’s financial apocalypse before it happens. Let’s be the giant robot heroes that stand up for the a movie that is basically a love letter to monters movies, robot movies, sci-fi, and nearly everything I hold dear all at the same time. Seriously, if my kid was in this movie I would probably cry just thinking about it.

Remember a few years ago when all the economists said the economy was going to go in the shitter, so people got terrified and stopped buying stuff and the economy went in the shitter? The jackbags calling an early death for Pacific Rim are participating in the same self fulling negativity. The more people that read “this movie is probably going to loose a hundred million dollars,” the more people are going to say “Meh, that won’t be good enough for the theater. I’ll see it on the bluetubes.” Stand up for scifi and robots and monsters and Idris Elba! GO SEE PACIFIC RIM THIS WEEKNED!

[Sweet miserable crapbastards, please don’t let this be another Prometheus…]

COMMENTERS: Have you ever assumed something (a movie, a tv show, a book, a game, a whatever) was no good because you read a bunch of negative press about it (not bad reviews, just general negativity), only to find out later that it was great? On the other hand, what thing that was SUPER HYPED WITH OVERWHELMING POSITIVITY were you the most disappointed in?  

Comments (41)

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jjp's avatar

jjp · 101 weeks ago

District 9
The Lone Ranger.

What? I liked it!

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

Myles's avatar

Myles · 101 weeks ago

Woo! High five!

I think part of why I liked it was expecting it to be a 3-4 out of 10 at best, so I was pleasantly surprised it was about a 7 for me. Also, having few to no expectations due to never having seen/heard any old lone ranger episodes.

Kernanator's avatar

Kernanator · 101 weeks ago

Meanwhile, in Ancient Greece, someone complains that they like Hercules better when he was called Gilgamesh.
You’re our only hope.
Daveren's avatar

Daveren · 101 weeks ago

godspeed you fancy bastard.
Fren's avatar

Fren · 101 weeks ago

Whether or not it sucks, I’m giving them my money just to support the concept. We NEED more film like this. Where’s my live-action Voltron?

I’m just glad they stopped making films based on board games. Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots: The Movie was horrid, Battleship was worse, and Hungry Hungry Hippos the TV program is bluh. Give us more kaiju!

2 replies · active 101 weeks ago

lou's avatar

lou · 101 weeks ago

There’s a Hungry hungry Hippos TV show?!
Fren's avatar

Fren · 101 weeks ago

You may refer to it as Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo.
Super hyped with overwhelming positivity, but ended up sucking? Easy.

Star Wars: Episode I.

Remember how excited we all were when the trailers came out for that? It was going to be so great! *sobs*

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

Had the world ended after the trailers for episode 1 but before the movie came out, we’d all be happier.
DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck · 101 weeks ago

All of the Matrix movies.

I read/heard bad things about the first one, which turned out to be awesome.
Everyone super-hyped *all others* which sucked so much I refuse to admit they exist.
The “story” didn’t need them.

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

Myles's avatar

Myles · 101 weeks ago

wait, you heard the first sucked but the others were awesome?

Your friends are from a mirror universe. Draw goatees on their faces then kill them to preserve the sanctity of our existence.

Godzilla. The one in the late 90’s with the guy from that movie where he does that thing.

2 replies · active 101 weeks ago

Oh man. That was a MEDIA FUCKTON BLITZ, wasn’t it? I probably still have one of those Taco Bell cups somewhere.
Oh god…. I have the movie on VHS somewhere. I was young and naive and knew nothing of the true greatness of the King of Monsters so I thought it was a good film…

That’s all been rectified now that I know better

Dave's avatar

Dave · 101 weeks ago

Got to see a free advance screening of Pacific Rim yesterday.

GO SEE THIS MOVIE. I never watch movies twice but I’m going this weekend because it’s good enough that I should have paid for it…. so I will.

It is SO much fun you guys. It’s the perfect example of the difference between a big dumb fun movie that doesn’t ask you to think and a big asshole movie that assumes you are too stupid to think.

Beautiful fun escapism as opposed to whatever the hell Michael Bay thinks he’s doing.

Go See It.

2 replies · active 101 weeks ago

Dave's avatar

Dave · 101 weeks ago

Go see it and find out for yourself!
Katie's avatar

Katie · 101 weeks ago

Prometheus. I caught it on cable recently and really enjoyed it. Yeah, there are some plot problems with it, but not enough to warrant the hate it got.

As for a super-hyped shitty movie… I don’t know. Maybe Sucker Punch? Was that movie super-hyped? I know I absolutely hated it.

2 replies · active 101 weeks ago

It wasn’t so much super hyped as it was SUPER directed at nerds, so I think we felt it more than most. And yes it was terrible.
HandiGoat's avatar

HandiGoat · 101 weeks ago

I think that movie was more of a demographic fail than an honestly bad movie. As an appreciator of both nerditry and “film art”-type-movies, I would put it 100% in the latter category. My girlfriend (who mostly loves foreign and independent films) absolutely adores it.
Jenn's avatar

Jenn · 101 weeks ago

I have never assumed a movie would be bad and got a surprise of goodness, but I have had a hyped up movie disappoint me… Avatar was NOT as good as everyone said it was. I am not saying it was horrible, I just felt it was merely an ok film that was hyped to be the be all and end all of the film world. A CG’d live action FernGully is all I got out of that.
Kirby's avatar

Kirby · 101 weeks ago

I’m bad at not liking things. I’ve only ever disliked one movie that I’ve seen, and that was because I was a kid, wanted to see a war movie, and went to see Jarhead.

I always like movies when I go to see them. Sucker Punch, John Carter, the Matrix Sequels… the Star Wars Prequels… etc.

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

lou's avatar

lou · 101 weeks ago

You’re a brave person to admit those things.
Chaucer59's avatar

Chaucer59 · 101 weeks ago

God, so many bad, over-hyped movies:

Avatar (Dances with Toruks or Ferngully in Space)

Aliens (Alien was a brilliant horror movie. Aliens was a 2hr 17 minute long demo for a single-shooter video game)

There Will Be Blood (should have been here called There Will Be Rigo Mortis)

Kenneth Branagh’s Hamlet (Branagh must still be picking scenery out of his teeth)

Dances With Wolves (if I were Lakota Sioux, I would hunt down and kill Kevin Costner with my bear hands)

2 replies · active 101 weeks ago

Upvoted for Avatar; wanted to downvote for Aliens.
HandiGoat's avatar

HandiGoat · 101 weeks ago

You’re so racist: Native Americans don’t actually have bear hands. They do have eagle wings, however.
Candace's avatar

Candace · 101 weeks ago

Yeah, I thought Avatar was overrated, too.

I don’t usually let bad reviews put me off of seeing a movie I otherwise would want to see. I often find that I disagree with critics and the opinions of the majority.

John Carter. I’m the only person I know who saw it in theatres and everyone I know who saw it later loved it.

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

anxiety.junkie's avatar

anxiety.junkie · 100 weeks ago

This +1000. I loved this movie, and I actually have read the book (and most of the sequels). Love it.
HandiGoat's avatar

HandiGoat · 101 weeks ago

Pleasantly surprised by: Harry Potter. I was expecting a bunch of kids’ movies. What I got was a bunch of teenager movies, so I’ll call that a win.
When Legally Blonde first came out, I thought “Oh, great, a movie about a rich ditzy blonde – PASS!”

And then much later I saw the film described in ways that made me think “wait – WHAT?” and I rented it… and discovered how dreadfully wrong I’d been. I don’t know if the advertising was misleading or if it was my own internal biases or a little of both, but it’s now one of my favorite films. (The sequel… not so much; the main reason to see that is for Bob Newhart.)

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

Trebor's avatar

Trebor · 101 weeks ago

I thought it’d be such a chick flick that I refused to acknowledge it when it came to the cinema. Then when a friend got me the DVD as a *Joke* present I decided to watch it one afternoon when I was bored. I couldn’t believe how funny it was and Reese Witherspoon did such a good job with the part.
Just saw Pacific Rim. Delightful fun. Robots smash monsters.
Now I want Guillermo del Toro to direct a Rufallo Hulk movie.
Mcecny's avatar

Mcecny · 100 weeks ago

Pacific Rim was fantastic! Great movie
Stranger's avatar

Stranger · 100 weeks ago

The Dark Knight Rises. UGH. Such a great predecessor, and Nolan gives us that trainwreck?