Brother, Can You Spare 50 Million Dimes


Don’t have a lot of time to post with… words… and….

So here’s the facts: Nic Cage owes a metric shit ton of money to the IRS and Johnny Depp stepped in to foot the bill. That’s a Hollywood bromance if there ever was one.

I will be a guest at the Dragon Lair Webcomics Weekend Rampage December 12-13 in Austin, TX with Jeph, Danielle, Kurtz, Randy and more! From what I know it’s just going to be a giant webcomics meat meet and greet for 2 days with extra awesome and a dash of good times.

Screen shot 2009-11-16 at 5.59.14 PM

Ever since Wil Wheaton tweeted about and bought the “Holodeck Is For Porn” shirt, they’ve been selling rather well (for the first time). Oh, you don’t know about it? Maybe you should buy one and be one of the cool kids.

The Holodeck Is For Porn Shirt


Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At Wit’s End


For those of you playing the Hijinks Ensue home game (score cards available at Kroger with any purchase of a 20 oz. soda or can of Pringles) thats (2) comics about pirates and (2) mentions of forced sexual intercourse between bears and men.

The first Pirates was pure movie-going fun. It was a simple story (thank god Disney didn’t make a movie about the Tea Cups) but visually enriched, jaunting in its pace, and action-packed (the movie was literally PACKED with various actions). The sequel was equally enjoyable and achieved things with Octopus-face technology previously thought possible only in maritime nightmares. The threequel, however, was really just the REST of the 2nd movie. I get it. I took the red pill. I know what the Matrix is, Cowboy Curtis. And much like the Matrix 3pete, the 3rd one was a turd.

The movie stretches itself thin while struggling to retcon a bunch a bullshit about Pirates of the world sharing a common bond and noble way of life (in the same way modern day murderers and rapists will give each other a knowing wink and nod when they pass in the grocery store). Then theres a 20 minute segment with Witty Jack in Pirate Purgatory. As it turns out, Hell is other pirates. Specifically other Jack Sparrows. Jack is damned for what seemed like an eternity to captain the Black Rock Pearl on an ocean of desert salt crewed entirely by copies of himself. Johnny Depp with 40 other Johnny Depps. You know he’d hit that. Unwashed dopple-johnny (depp-ganger?) orgies would abound.

I was hoping the Keith Richards’ cameo would provide some much needed entertainment value. His performance wasn’t just sublime, it was subliminal. Blink and you’d miss it. Oh and just in case you don’t understand that Keith is a musician of sorts, he holds a guitar in his scene to clarify things.

3 hours and $25 (Buncha-Crunch be expensive, yo) later a Jamaican lady grew 200 feet tall and I went home.