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Phoenix Comicon 2013 Fancy Sketches Part 2

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Go to my store. I promise there is something there you will enjoy owning. In turn, I will enjoy owning your money.

Hey hey! It’s part 2 in my 2 part series of 2 sets of Fancy Sketches from 1 Phoenix Comicon! This set indirectly stars my friend John Scalzi, who is known for his best selling sci-fi novels, his love of churros and his crippling addiction to Coke Zero. I defaced his booth sign along with some other dudes for reasons.

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He made this face when he saw it.

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COMMENTERS: Your favorite author has just become a giant robot. Who is it, are they good or evil and (regardless) do they fight Godzilla?

Comments (31)

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Cool art. 🙂 Wish I could have hit Phoenix.

oh, and FYI. Your site seems to have weird pop-up boxes that glide across the screen, and block your artwork. You may want to punch one of your ad-servers.

Titmouse's avatar

Titmouse · 107 weeks ago

George R.R. Martin…. so hes pretty evil and just kills everone you love just as you really start to think everything is going to be fine!!
Nakari's avatar

Nakari · 107 weeks ago

H.P Lovecraft.

He’d probably be evil by modern standards. He would fight Godzilla, after taking down the Dutch. Man really hated the Dutch.

Teri's avatar

Teri · 107 weeks ago

Philip k Dick ‘bot would probably be good, and he’d eventually figure out that Godzilla is a robot. Then he and Jasper Ffordebot will open a portal into the Southland Tales universe.

The Mark Z Danielewskidroid would be the Tardis.

What would Kafkabot be like?

1 reply · active 107 weeks ago

zathael's avatar

zathael · 107 weeks ago

An enormous cockroach, obviously
Neil Gaiman. He is (obviously) good and he would clearly not directly fight Godzilla, but rather dazzle him with a cunning plan that would involve something absolutely brilliant.

Also, Wreck-It Doctor and Amy von Schweetz may be my favorite of your Fancy Sketches ever. Or possibly any drawing of all time.

1 reply · active 107 weeks ago

Hey thanks! That was the sketch-requesters idea, but I thought it came out pretty great. Actually the Amy was my idea, but hey whatever.
Asimov! And it would kill outside those pesky laws!
Leshka's avatar

Leshka · 107 weeks ago

Stephen King would spend 200 pages describing the path that Godzilla took to get to the city (complete with witty banter in it’s head,) then another 100 pages detailing the struggle between good and evil that robot King has to face. And then, because King is bad(ass,) he would team up with Godzilla and oh, so deliciously plunder the countryside, dedicating a good 50 or so pages to the raping of the women.

Yeah, I’m re-reading The Stand and it may be giving me a bias 🙂

 Stephen's avatar

Stephen · 107 weeks ago

Patrick Rothfuss. He would have a beard of writhing cables that would subdue all those who stand against him. He would be good, but misunderstood (probably because of the tentacle similarity to Davey Jones in the Pirate movies). He would fight Godzilla simply because any giant robot worth his salt would, but they would come to an understanding and Godzilla would agree to get a RoboBeer (just oil mostly) with him and teach him the names of all things.
Neil Gaiman. Good. And yes. He takes him down through deploying the powers of whimsey to turn Godzilla into a churro-eating, barbeque-providing friendly dinosaur.
Grimslade's avatar

Grimslade · 107 weeks ago

Bran-don Sanderzon would differentiate his robot abilities depending on what fuel it consumed. It would be completely devoid of morality. Good, evil, are judgements by others. The death of Godzilla is only the beginning of the liberation of Monster Island.
I agree that Patrick Borgfuss would wield an electro beard mas grande, making Cthulhu jealous of his facial tentaclular superiority. He would fight Godzilla, but only to subdue him and help him end world hunger.
zathael's avatar

zathael · 107 weeks ago

ALL SHALL FEAR THE GEORGE RR MART-TRON!!
Michael Crichton’s family, following the protocol he set out long before his death, reconstitutes his DNA into a artificially supported neural structure his son has spent the last 15 years constructing. At long, long last, he arises, stares at Godzilla and immediately starts postulating scientific reasons how Godzilla came about. After spending a number of hours intrinsically searching to find what really differentiates human nature from that of Godzilla, he realizes that Godzilla isn’t a force of nature, but a result of human nature. He resigns to the fact that Humanity will only destroy itself as he snaps Tokyo Tower in two and takes his place in the natural order.
Andy's avatar

Andy · 107 weeks ago

Well you already did Scalzi perfectly. Joe Abecrombe would be an evil robot, covered in spikes and all dark metal. He would join Godzilla in trashing Tokyo. Richard K Morgan would start out not caring but eventually fight Godzilla because it benefited him.

David Brin, Vernor Vinge, Myke Cole would all be good robots. George Martin, Orson Scott Card and Stephen Erikson would all be evil.

Nick H's avatar

Nick H · 107 weeks ago

Raybot Chandler wakes from his cybernetic slumber and potters around the office, struggling with his programming. The coders wrote an ordered sense of right and wrong but something was off in the assembly. His circuits are corroded by a steady stream of brown liquors and he goes through the motions but can’t seem to muster up the respect for civic authority he should have. The Dame, Pneumattie, crashes through the dingy glass and asks for the third time if he’ll reconfigure her to forget that no good husbot. Problem is, Raybot’s already taken husbot’s dough and can’t bring himself to care which of the two has more corrupt data.
Kathy J.'s avatar

Kathy J. · 107 weeks ago

Terry Pratchett would be a good guy, ambling along in his thin soled ancient footwear shaking hands with giant doorknobs, and when he meets Godzilla he hires him for the Ankh-Morpork city watch.

1 reply · active 106 weeks ago

Godzilla turns out to be particularly good at apprehending deliquent dragons. 🙂 Thanks for saying Pratchett! <3 <3 <3
Candace's avatar

Candace · 107 weeks ago

Steven Brust would at first appear to be an evil giant robot, but ultimately turn out to be moderately good in the end. He would not fight Godzilla, but might convince him to jam with Brust’s giant robot band, which might result in the ultimate destruction, entertainment, and/or terrification of all within earshot.
Ali's avatar

Ali · 107 weeks ago

Neil Gaiman. Neutral. He wouldn’t fight Godzilla directly, but he’d get him to stop rampaging…by teaching him about subtlety, thus leading to much more disturbing and nightmare-inducing terrorizing of Tokyo. (I mean did you SEE Nightmare in Silver?!)
Richard's avatar

Richard · 107 weeks ago

Margaret Weis. She would probably fight Godzilla hut since she wrote all the stories about Draconians from the Dragonlance series, she’d know his reptilian weak spots and send him packing back to the ocean! he would return in the sequel to marry her so they could have Godzilla Jr and her understanding of draconians would make her the best reptile monster mom ever!
Bryce's avatar

Bryce · 107 weeks ago

Good, bad, everybody fights Godzilla. If you don’t fight Godzilla what’s the point of being a giant robot? What are you going to do, fight second string knock-offs from Sentai shows? Aliens with odd biblical themes that may actually be your mother? Other giant robots from series that are so commingled you don’t know who’s ripping who off when one turns into a jet?

No, screw that. Fight Godzilla, then you can worry about what else you do.

Tom's avatar

Tom · 107 weeks ago

David Weber, and he’s good until someone lets him cross genres and mix science fiction with fantasy.
skoby's avatar

skoby · 106 weeks ago

Ive got a bad feeling that George RR Martin would trap siblings and force them to do stuff. I think he would kill godzilla eventually but only after godzilla kills everyone you care about.
DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck · 106 weeks ago

Douglas Addams, back from the dead as a robot?
I don’t think so much “good” or “evil” as perhaps indifferent, apathetic and possibly depressed. Unless he can telepathically send out radio shows.
But then he’d watch the HHGG movie, and the depression would set in again.

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

Aww, misspelling your favorite author’s name? That’s not right.
I hope that was your phone’s autocorrect.
Chaucer59's avatar

Chaucer59 · 102 weeks ago

MechaHarlanEllison fights Godzilla, melting flesh from the giant assembly of lizard bones with a spew of acid from his mouth and then defaces Gojira’s memory by reassembling the bones into a giant penis sculpture.

 

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Scalzi Comic Dare: All My Sweet Pitches

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HijiNKS ENSUE PODCAST Episode 87 “ZombieWhatever.com” is live!

Alternate Title: Pitch Slapped
Alternate Alternate Title: Pitch Slapped 2: Pitch Better Have My Money

In the past, only Wil Wheaton has been deemed worthy to wield the power of THE COMIC DARE. This week, however, another was found who possessed the strength of will and the Strength Of Wil (TM) required to harness The Comic Dare’s awesome might and use it for its most righteous purpose: SAYING DUMB STUFF ON TWITTER THEN FORCING ME TO DRAW IT! That person, the Beta Ray Bill to Wheaton’s mighty Thor is noted sci-fi author, Internet opinions haver, and celebrated balding ukester JOHN SCALZI (hold for applause).

Scalzi occasionally finds himself in the precarious position of being asked by TV executives how to put things on our watching boxes that are not overwhelming terrible, reprehensible and offensive. So far they don’t seem to be taking his advice to heart. He had just one such meeting earlier this week at which he pitched original ideas for shows, and clarified via INTERNET SHOUTING that said shows would not involve “goats, vampires or sleuths with mental issues.” As we all know, these are the three cornerstones of modern televised shenanigans. Well, the last two are. The goats… must be an Ohio thing. Subsequently he issued the challenge to bring Sherlock: Vampire Goat to life and I, obliged by my 1000 year curse… uh, obliged.

TV is at an all-time weirdness juncture. It is currently producing fictional dramas and comedies that will certainly go down in history as “the best things humanity was able to accomplish before The Fire Ocean cleansed the Earth of all Mankind” (Breaking Bad, Sherlock, Game Of Thrones, Community). But it is also falling prey to a dangerous trend in which networks do not simply steal genre ideas from each other (“You got a cop show, a medical show and a medical cop show? We got those too! Suck it!”), but they now steal ENTIRE SHOWS from each other and put them on the air AT THE SAME TIME. Sherlock is a modernized version of A.C.D.’s Holmes and it is essentially perfect. CBS saw that show and thought, “Yeah! Let’s do exactly that right now while they’re still doing it try to stop us you can’t HAHAHAHAH!” And now we will soon have Elementary. House M.D. (which was also based on Holmes… so in addition to the remaking current shows epidemic, we also have the “Every show is about Sherlock Holmes” epidemic) was off the air for many 15 minutes before another 3 or 4 “I’m kind of crazy, but also brilliant, but it’s my craziness that lets me see the world in a particular way and catch things others miss and it also makes relationships hard and it also makes me seem like a jerk because I am” shows got the green light. Perception is the only one that comes to mind immediately, but I am almost certain and totally unwilling to further research that there are more. LOTS more. Is Numb3rs still on TV?

At least every network tried their hand at the “fairytales are totally real” genre this year. Vampires? Forget about it. The CW just started making “Twilight: The Horrible Show on TV instead of the HORRIBLE movies in the theater” before Edward even married that werewolf frankenstein or whatever happens in those things. I know that doesn’t fit the premise I’m trying to establish because I don’t think there are any other vampire romance shows besides The Vampire Diaries… oh wait, Trueblood. There you go. I’m still right.

Anyway, what I’m saying is that televised fiction is currently straddling the finest of lines between its crowning achievement and it’s most uninspired dreck.  There’s lots of middle ground, but most of it is so unremarkable it isn’t worth mentioning. By not being quite as bad and the worst stuff on the air, it becomes wholly forgettable. Save us, Scalzi! Save us from the Hollywood Industrial Machine that you are now apparently a part of! Oh, and call me about SH:VG. I’ve got some ideas for Moriarty.

COMMENTERS: Feel free to pitch your own “Current TV Trend Mashup” show idea.  

UPDATE: Scalzi speaks. 

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Phoenix Comicon Fancy Photo Comic

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Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

I am closing out some current t-shirt and print designs. Please check out this blog post since the stuff on closeout probably won’t be available again any time soon.

NEWS! I will not be attending HeroesCon this weekend. Read more HERE. Sorry, Charlotte Fancy Bastards.

My mother freakin’ 30th birthday is tomorrow! How can you help celebrate my 1/3 life crisis? Oh I don’t know… maybe donate, get something off the wish list or buy something from the store or Sharksplode? Sure. Why not. Whatever.

Phoenix. Oh, sweet dear Phoenix. How I have fallen under your siren song. Or perhaps I am just light headed from the dry heat. Either way, I can say without a doubt that the time I spent last week in Phoenix, AZ was some of the most fun I have ever had in my entire life. What a way to usher out my 20’s and begin the long, slow crawl towards the grave. I hope the (unbearably lengthy) comic above illustrates just how amazing of a time it was.

Phoenix Comicon, while still firmly rooted in its anime-con upbringing, was one of the better comic/pop culture cons I have attended. The fans were just fantastic. Enthusiasm and fandom abounded. People in fur suits also abounded, but you take what you can get, right? It was really my kind of show. 1000’s and 1000’s of kids literally wearing their fandom on their sleeves. Their weird, hand crafted, often cardboard sleeves. If I could do 5 shows like this a year I wouldn’t do any others. I actually sold out of all of merch for both Phoenix AND Heroes Con (which is one of the main reasons I had to pull out of that show). I have already signed up for next year, so look for me in your sandy, parched grasp in 2012.

After the show each night I met up with Wil Wheaton, his wife Anne (“Molly” in the final panel), their son Ryan (hurphing next to his facepalming dad) and his friends John Scalzi, Boyan Radakovich and Amy Black. While I was already well acquainted with Wil, I did not expect to make such fast friends with his family and assorted cohorts. Our little group of creatives, writers, and Internet vagabonds spent every evening after the show together exploring downtown Phoenix, dining, drinking, playing games, and crashing the occasional geek prom. I know this is sappy, but it was really a magical time. When reflecting on the lives we live, Wil commented, “I hope I never wake up.” That really sums up my feelings. I am so grateful for the opportunities I am given to meet wonderful people and integrate them into my life.

I also want to mention and say thanks to Cherie Priest, a sci-fi writer and a friend of John and Wil’s who makes a cameo in panels 13 and 24. We are both from the same area in Southeast Texas and we had fun commiserating on our mutual escape from the region. Additional thanks to Nerdchick, who’s video of Wil’s performance of The Last Unicorn Pegasus Kitten inspired those panels above, and “grown up” film star April O’Neil who portrays Counselor Troi in this comic, as well as in the “grown up” Star Trek: TNG parody. I also need to shout out to Eric Fiallos, the photographer who took the prom picture in the final panel. The image captures one my favorite things that has ever happened. Evar.