An Oscar Caliber Performance

I still haven’t seen “There Will Be Blood” yet. And for that I am sorry. After “Gangs of New York” I wanted to find out the exact moment I would die, so that I could arrange to be murdered by Daniel Day Lewis (as Bill the Butcher) 5 minutes prior to my death. That would really be the best possible way to go out. Moments before I succumb to the grips of cancer or heart disease, Day Lewis appears behind me with a waxed up mustache, waxed down hair and a top hat and runs me through with a skewer. Then he would climb atop a nearby potato box or tree stump and make a short speech about what an honor it was to kill me. Classy. That’s all there is to it. Classy.

Twenty years later (Day Lewis is still 45 or so because he’s also a Highlander or some sort of Vampire) my daughter would infiltrate his ranks, befriend him, earn his trust, then stick him like a pig when he least expects it. She’s a good girl like that.

OK, wait… that’s basically EXACTLY the plot of “Gangs of New York.” I guess if I had to pick a different movie-themed death I would want to be sent into space and set on a collision course with earth so that Bruce Willis could fly a rocket to me, land on me, drill a hole in my face and plant a nuclear warhead in my skull then save the rest of his crew by staying behind to make sure I blew up. He’s an American hero.

I tried hand-drawing the speech bubbles for the first time with this comic. I think it looks pretty cool. I also liked the hand lettering in the last panel. Let me know what you think in the comments. Also, (this may be a morbid question) but what movie-themed death would you choose? Die Hard? Dukes of Hazard? Hannah Montana?


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Since I’m getting a lot of “Whuh?” and “Buh?” in regard to this comic, I’m just going to spell it out. This is a parody of the (apparently not so) popular meme “I drink your milkshake,” which is based on the movie “There Will Be Blood” for which Daniel Day Lewis just won Best Actor at the 2008 Academy Awards. Sorry for the confusion.