The Final Countdown

The Lil’ Wil Wheaton Plushie Pre-Sale STARTS TODAY HERE in the HE Store. The ONLY way to make sure you get one by the holidays is to order during the pre-sale. They’re $19.95 + shipping. Buy one for you, one for a friend and one to customize with a little fez or horrible spacesuit sweater!

Wil Wheaton Plushie from HijiNKS ENSUE, Wil Wheaton Plush toy doll

Responding to this tweet from @NicaRedHead gave me the idea for this comic. You see, my friend Wil has what science doers call “Hockey Brain.” It is a horribly debilitating condition that causes one to flail about uncontrollably, run around the house screaming and gesture incomprehensibly at the television. As of right now there is no cure and no one is currently working on a cure or doing any research on the subject. Luckily for sufferers and their families, symptoms seem to subside… oh, about right now. Science doers can not explain this sudden onset total remission, because they don’t know what channel the NHL is broadcast on and chances are they probably have it deprogrammed from their cable box anyway.

COMMENTERS: Do you or someone you love suffer from Hockey Brain? Can you explain it to me? How many downs are in an inning? Is the goal master allowed to throw his ice mallet like a javelin? Wouldn’t it be easier to play on grass or concrete? Ice seems like it would be quite slippery. I wonder if the Mayor of Sports Puck called to congratulate The Le’ Kings (must be a french team) on their victory against the Othertown Differentcolors.

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

ONLY TWO DAYS LEFT!!! The HijiNKS ENSUE Store will be shutting down for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] If there is a shirt you want, and you DON’T WANT to wait until sometime after San Diego Comicon, you should probably buy it now. This week will be your last chance for a at least a few weeks. Please check out this blog post to see which designs won’t be coming back, in case you want one of those.

CONVENTION NEWS: I will be at San Diego Comicon at the Blind Ferret Booth with Least I Could Do, Looking For Group, GuttersGirls With Slingshots and possibly more. It’s going to be a blast and a frakking half.

I can say with certainty that, while I do not share an enthusiasm for any organized sporting contest, I can understand fully why many (most) people do. There’s camaraderie, civic pride, a perceived communal goal, competition, statistics to geek out over, rivalries, drama, etc, etc. The part of “sports enthusiasm” that I can’t even begin to relate to on even the most basic level is the mentality of the vast minority of sports fans where in a particular game doesn’t result in their chosen team winning, and they decide the only way to express their disappointment is to set shit on fire, assault people and destroy public and private property. Not to mention proving to any hyper-advanced alien races who may be watching us that, yes, we are all a bunch of beastly fuck ups, and you should probably go ahead and lazer-doze our stupid planet to make way for your intergalactic throughway.

Seriously, if all it takes to devolve a random group of previous reasonable people into god damn rage monkeys is a little alcohol and some sad hockey times, then we don’t deserve nice things like societies and civilization. “MY SPORTS WAS BAD! I NEED TO HURT THINGS AND PEOPLE!” just isn’t acceptable. I know this seems odd, but this kind of behavior scares me more for the future of the human race than war. There’s something incredibly sinister and terrifying about the snap change from “I’m a regular guy, hanging out at a hockey game. I have a job, and an apartment and I’m in a long term relationship” to “I bet this car should be on fire and then things will be better. How about a brick to this guy’s head? Yeah, this is an excellent way for me to behave, and afterwards there will be no negative repercussions.” That borders on sociopathy. So does littering (I’m quite serious), but that’s a different argument all together.

Many of the riotous fuckwits were photographed and videoed by onlookers and uploaded to this tumblr. Here’s hoping they are identified and held responsible for their crimes. That reminds me of the cell phone surveillance system in The Dark Knight, except we don’t need Bruce Wayne to build it for us. We’re already doing it ourselves. The next time you plan to throw a flaming trashcan through a local business window, keep in mind that nearly everyone around you has an HD video camera in their pocket.

At least this deplorable display of inhumanity allowed an opportunity for others to step up and show some real selflessness and kindness. My friend Amy posted this on Twitter today:

I’m not from Vancouver, but I’ve gotten to know the city and its people pretty well. They’re AWESOME. Last night was an aberration. What you won’t hear about is how thousands of residents volunteered their time today to clean up the city after a few drunks got outta hand. RT @LizTheCanadian Here’s a gallery on Facebook of the volunteers cleaning up today

Commenters: What the fuck is going on? Are we just god damned savages? How are we ever going to get into The Federation like this?