Doctor Doctor, Give Me The News


Check out these geeky lightsaber earrings my wife made!

etsy lightsaber earrings star wars jewelry

[Actually posting this on Friday 10/16/15 since I was at New York Comic Con and spent nearly 3 entire days in restorative ODINSLEEP. I have arisen from my chamber, I’m playing catch up on work and immediately repacking and heading to Austin, TX for Webcomic Rampage. Hope whatever husk of a man I am by the time I get there sees you there!]

Do you want A TON of bonus, extra and alternate comics?!  Then my Patreon is THE PLACE for you. Every little bit helps me continue to make a living, and is QUITE appreciated.



Use It Or Lose It


I’m at San Diego Comic-con RIGHT NOW at the Cyanide & Happiness booth (#1234)! Come say hi, buy and a print and get a sketch from me and the Explosm boys.

The rollover medics! That’s how they get ya! This is basically me trying to understand every communication I have with my insurance company. About a month ago I almost cut my thumb off with an exacto knife, and rather than just go to the hospital, I held a towel over the gushing wound while my wife tried to figure out how much it might cost to get my hand sewn back together by a professional flesh seamstress. I’m grateful for the Affordable Care Act, in so much as I am self employed (or professionally unemployed) and for the first time in 9 years I do HAVE health insurance. But nothing about the ACA requires insurance companies to be clear with their language or comprehensible by a thinking human in any way. Eventually we decided that it would either cost $250 or one hundred million dollars. We chose to glue my hand back into it’s original configuration and go on with out lives. Many weeks later and I have a small scar and ALMOST full feeling in my thumb.

Sharksploders: Have you ever had an “I SHOULD GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM… or maybe I can fix this at home!” moment? No? Just me? I might have decision making problems.


The Loophole


That title should actually be, “The Loouphoule.” 

TOP SECRET INFO: You can get a print of any HE comic ever by clicking “Buy A Print” under the comic, or by going here.

Did you know if you catch a real live Canadian they have to show you their Indentattoo which, in turn, reveals their true name and spirit animal? Once you can call a Candian by its true name, it must obey your every command. Unless you command it to commit murder, or be rude in public. Then IT CONTROLS YOU! The good news is, it will often express mild irritation at your capture and enslavement of it, but ultimately wish you well and attempt to find its way home. Canadians can always sense true north because of a naturally occurring magnet found in their skulls. Up until the late 1800’s, these “bone magnets” were highly sought after by American hunters, trappers, golfers and tennis players for their perceived effectiveness in pseudo-science carpal tunnel bracelets.

I am quite literally bursting with true facts about Canada. I’ve been there at least 3 times, which makes me an expert. I’m going back again next month for Calgary Expo and to get recertified as an official Canada Expert First Class. I’ll be at booth 925/1025 with Blind Ferret.

One more comic and this story bit ends. Game Of Thrones comes back this Sunday, and I’m struggling to remember who is dead, who is currently actively being killed and who is merely mortally wounded. I need to make a chart. A blood chart. My wife has read ahead in the books which has transformed her into some kind of fire witch with the curse of foresight. She isn’t to be trusted.

I need to go write a foreword for my friend’s book.

COMMENTERS: Have you ever been catching up on a popular tv or movie series while your spouse, significant other, friend, etc. has already read all the books? Did it augment the experience for you, or were they all, “OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN OMGOMGOMG!!!” all the time? I made the ENORMOUS mistake of assuming I would never care about Harry Potter, so I forced my old boss to explain the entire plot to me, including who killed Dumbledore and that Harry was the final Horcrux, thus robbing me of the excitement of finding those things out for myself when I eventually fell in love with the series.