Bored On Baby

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About 50,000 people saw my last comic on Facebook. That’s weird. If you haven’t liked the Sharksplode page on Facebook yet, it’s HERE. It calls to you. Go to it. Be with it.

I made this comic under the assumption that all parents feel this way as their kids get older and less cute, but maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m some sort of cruel sociopath that values humor/entertainment value over substance. NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! No way. I’m great.

When my kid was younger, there were certain things she said and did that, while SUPER incorrect, were SUPER cute. These are the things we NEVER corrected her on. Calling snacks “Owms” because of the sound we’d make when we’d try to convince her something tasted good? NEVER CORRECTED. Sitting on the toilet backwards and putting the shower curtain around herself for privacy? NEVER CORRECTED. Pronouncing her last name as “Want Some” instead of “Watson”? NEVER EVER CORRECTED. When things are that cute, no matter how wrong they are, you leave them be. You let them run their natural course.

There’s something about babies that makes your brain go bananabonks. Maybe it’s the psychological effect of being ultimately validated, needed and essentially worshipped as the end-all be-all by this little, squishy bundle of poops. Or maybe it’s an evolutionary holdover that just releases a butt-cram of endorphins when you whiff that new baby smell. Something designed to make sure cave-mom and cave-dad didn’t just put the cave-baby down in the woods and walk away forever when it made too much noise.

I firmly believe this is one of the main reasons people have multiple kids. Many parents miss the validation or the newness or the warm fuzzy lizard brain good-time feels and just go, “Hey! Let’s make a new one! Then, when that one stops being tiny and helpless, we’ll make AN EVER NEWER ONE!!!” And thus, Humanity crumbled beneath the weight of 7 billion bodies, birthed simply so someone else could smell a fontanelle.

SHARKSPLODERS: What dumb and wrong things do you kids do/did YOU do as a kid that was left uncorrected for entertainment value?


Planned Obsolescence

Austin, TX Fancy Bastards: We are just over a month away from the 6th annual Dragon’s Lair Webcomics Rampage! Get details HERE.

 Here are some things I have done that have caused me crippling, immobilizing back pain: putting on a shirt, taking off a shirt, standing up, sitting up in bed, drying off after a shower, washing my back, bending over, picking up a ladder, picking up a larger ladder, placing my hands on the lip of a desk and thinking about moving it, but not actually moving it. The list goes on! In the last few years, I have taken major steps towards living mostly back pain free. I never pick up anything over 30 lbs or larger than a cat. I use my arms to lift myself out of a chair or off a couch. I use a footstool at my desk. I use a higher, more comfortable chair when I draw. I put a yoga block under my elbow when I draw to keep it from drooping, and I recently got a Sleep Number bed. My sleep number is: ∞. 

I say all this not to impress you with my glamorous lifestyle, but to illustrate how my particular vessel of guts is on the back half of its particular period of usefulness. Two days ago I woke up from bed (my first mistake), and went to pop my neck like I do every morning. Instead of popping, my neck bones and neck meats screamed in unison and I spent the next 48 hours unable to look this way (It doesn’t matter that you can’t see which way I’m looking. Whatever way you are imagining, I could not look THAT way). Jealous? I know that sounds pretty baller, right? Deal with it.

Regarding the dating of the recent comics: I was, until today, backdating comics published in October to September so I could fill in the gaps that I missed while away at conventions. The simple act of doing this actually caused me more delays and issues and I’ve given up on filling in those gaps for now. I’m taking the mulligan and moving on with updating in the present day. I have a neat idea for a story line involving Josh that could have run parallel to the previous “Roomba” story line. If I get it worked out, I may publish it backdated to fill in the October comic slots.