Who, Pray Tell, Wouldst One Call Upon?

HEY YOU FANCY BASTARDS LOOK AT THIS OMG! My online store at Explosm is closing forever at the end of this week. Everything is on sale, so go get it while there is good getting to be got.


I’ve reshuffled my Patreon rewards so that the Potter and Daughter Podcast is unlocked at $1750 instead of $2000. We’ve already recorded 4 or 5 episodes and I’m anxious to get it out in the world.

potter and daughter podcast logo hijink ensue

When my Patreon reaches $2000/month  $1750/month I’m going to release a new podcast where upon I interview my 7 years old daughter as she reads through the Harry Potter series. It’s called Potter And Daughter! More details HERE.

Of course we all know the proper title of the theme song to the popular film The Ghostbusting Gentlemen is “Who, Pray Tell, Wouldst One Call Upon? (Were One So Inclined).” Apologies for the use of brevity, despite it’s status as the soul of wit.

This comic closely reflects an actual conversation I had with a turtle-clad neighborhood ninja-child while trick and/or treating (heavy emphasis on the treat part). I explained what they do with the ghosts, to which he replied, “That doesn’t make any sense.” Of course it does. A spectral containment system utilizing a grid of intersecting, high power lasers makes perfect sense. So does a pan-dimensional gateway through which specters, apparitions, vapors and various phantasms are deposited and incarcerated. Ectoplasm doesn’t have mass, therefore the size of the rip in spacetime required to access the adjacent dimension could be infinitesimally small, thus requiring far less power than generating a gateway large enough to pass, say, a hot dog, a human or even a bunch of hot dogs!  It makes all the god damn sense in the world, you booger eater.

Now It’s Time To Leave The Capsule If You Dare

THE END, FOREVER… of this storyline!

I should probably mention that I will be at San Diego Comicon this year with Blind Ferret and Something*Positive at booth #1231. I will have books and shirts and prints and sketches and a look on my face like, “WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS OUT OF CONTROL WHY DO THEY EVEN CALL THIS A CON WHY NOT JUST CALL IT FUCK YOU?!?!?”


COMMENTERS: If a post-apocalyptic future group of nomadic wasteland types had only one movie to base a belief system and eventually a society around, which should it be and why? Don’t say Galaxy Quest, because that would be so meta the Omega 13 would collapse on itself.

Comments (52)

Is Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure too meta also?

1 · active 97 weeks ago

How about “The Gods Must Be Crazy”? That’s pretty meta too.
Djorra's avatar

Djorra· 99 weeks ago

Probably 2001: A Space Odyssey.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

Jane's avatar

Jane· 99 weeks ago

Can’t be. That makes too much sense.
Oh yay! I was wondering if you were going to be at SDCC but wasn’t going to ask since I have heard you not love it. But, I missed you the last time I went and I’m going again this year! Booth noted!

1 · active 99 weeks ago

I love the people and I love the readers and I love the friends, but the con…. webcomics are not the reason people go to SDCC. We’re almost in the way.
Outis's avatar

Outis· 99 weeks ago

I would really like to see the Religion that would develop out of Monty Pythons Meaning of Life

2 replies · active 99 weeks ago

lou's avatar

lou· 99 weeks ago

Or do you mean Life of Brian?
Faye's avatar

Faye· 99 weeks ago

I honestly expected the first Python reference to be Life of Brian, good pick with Meaning of Life!
MrPlow99's avatar

MrPlow99· 99 weeks ago

I’ll have to go with Dogma since they specifically advocate against belief systems in the movie. So then you’d have a belief system based upon not having a belief system.

3 replies · active 99 weeks ago

lou's avatar

lou· 99 weeks ago

Now THAT would cause a universe-collapsing paradox.
HandiGoat's avatar

HandiGoat· 99 weeks ago

Isn’t that basically Nihilism?
HikingViking's avatar

HikingViking· 99 weeks ago

If they ever do make that Arrested Development movie, that would probably get my vote. Terrifying tales of the Loose Seal breaking out across the wasteland. The chicken dance actually becoming an offensive gesture. “Hot Patato” becoming the national anthem, or scattered tribe anthem I guess. But even better than that would be a postapocalyptic movie that mentions the “good old days”, but never shows what they were. Because how awesome would that be? Imagine if you found a movie that showed life like it is today, but always referenced how great things were “before the fall.” What the hell would that mean? “Oh, we had a cure for AIDS before the fall” someone would say forlornly. What the hell does that even mean?
The Big Lebowsky. Just imagine them building statues of The Dude…., their appointed leaders all growing beards and wearing bathrobes everywhere…, and their greatest law would be “Ho not piss on another man’s rug”
inkstud's avatar

inkstud· 99 weeks ago

Dumb and Dumberer
Mysterious Stranger's avatar

Mysterious Stranger· 99 weeks ago


1 · active 99 weeks ago

Liam's avatar

Liam· 99 weeks ago

One of those Friedberg and Seltzer movies.
That guy's avatar

That guy· 99 weeks ago

“Surely, you’re not serious?” “Yes and don’t call me Shirley.”
Katie's avatar

Katie· 99 weeks ago

Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion. Because I’d like to imagine a post-apocalyptic church all simultaneously shouting, “I’m the Mary! I’m the Mary!” And then ending each service with a crazy dance to Time After Time. They’d also know the recipe for glue.

Reruns of the Mary Tyler Moore Show and Rhoda would be their Dead Sea Scrolls.

Candace's avatar

Candace· 99 weeks ago

Rocky Horror Picture Show. Enough said.
The Lion King; think about it. Hakuna Matata is a mantra in and of itself.
Okay, I won’t say Galaxy Quest… the Last Action Hero.
Batman1016's avatar

Batman1016· 99 weeks ago

Cloud Atlas. How’s that meta for you? A post-apocalyptic society based on a film about a post-apocalyptic society based on a the writings of a clone with a worldview based on a film about freedom from persecution and imprisonment, based on the life of an old man . . . etc, etc.

Course, with my luck, PA society will be based on some shite Tim Burton flick or the Twilight series. Just a planet full of emo jagoffs who worship Johnny Depp and Stephenie Meyer.

Ralph Bakshi’s Wizards?

1 · active 99 weeks ago

Or Fritz the cat. The black crow would be the first marytr.
YoYo_lax's avatar

YoYo_lax· 99 weeks ago

The music video to Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up.”

You just got trolled future scattered remnants of humanity on the brink of extinction. So take that.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

YoYo_lax's avatar

YoYo_lax· 99 weeks ago

Scratch that, “The Warriors.” Thus ensuring an irrational fear of bottles and 80’s hair bands.
Bron's avatar

Bron· 99 weeks ago

I’m really supprised no one has said the princess bride yet…..

So that or Blues Brothers (the initial film obviously….)

Presumably suggesting “The Passion of the Christ” would be a bit too meta aswell 😉
bubujin_2's avatar

bubujin_2· 99 weeks ago

“Pleasantville” would do the trick me thinks.
Faye's avatar

Faye· 99 weeks ago

Serenity: because at least they’ll understand the references to Earth That Was.
DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck· 99 weeks ago

Good god, people. The answer is obviously Army of Darkness.

Everyone goes to bed at night saying “Klattu Beratta Necktie” and wonders why they have nightmares. “It’s a trick, get an axe” is the standard greeting. Every kid hopes they get the chainsaw hand for Boom-stick-mas.

Ceri's avatar

Ceri· 99 weeks ago

Zardoz. Yeah, you heard me.
Chaucer59's avatar

Chaucer59· 99 weeks ago

Has to be tge Big Lebowski. The priest stands over the baptismal font as the initiate is pushed in, backwards, fully clothed; whereupon the priest casts the wild ferret into the tub. As the ferret (having been fed peyote) tries to claw through the initiates chest, he cries out, “Get this fucking marmot offa me!” The parishioners respond, “Get this fucking marmot offa me!” As two deacons roll the initiate into a rug, the priest’s assistant, dressed as a Valkyrie, is lowered on wires onto the altar and rolls her bowling ball into the assembly.

“The Dude abides,” saith the priest.

“The Dude abides,” respond the parishioners.

Alan Grayson's avatar

Alan Grayson· 99 weeks ago

I’m surprised no Fight Club but if I was taking this seriously I’d say Into Great Silence because they haven’t made of movie of A Canticle for Leibowitz yet (and too bad theres no movie of Phillip K. Dick’s Dr. Bloodmoney, or How We Got Along After the Bomb) but in my heart I say The Charlie Brown Christmas Special even though its technically not a movie.
Bryce's avatar

Bryce· 99 weeks ago

I’m going to be completely honest with you, Joel. If The Adventures of Spaag and Skeev were a webcomic, I would read it. I would read it every update. I would subscribe to the RSS Feed.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

runcibletune's avatar

runcibletune· 99 weeks ago

I really want to see them take the box back to Motherboss.
Allen's avatar

Allen· 99 weeks ago

Ghostbusters. The pantheon consists of everyone who’s ever been asked if they’re a god.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

lou's avatar

lou· 99 weeks ago

“Ray, if someone asks if you are a god, you say YES!” Words to live by.
lou's avatar

lou· 99 weeks ago

I say we follow Peter Griffin’s example and establish the Church of the Fonz. Imagine what kind of ceremony you’ll involve jumping over a shark for.
HandiGoat's avatar

HandiGoat· 99 weeks ago

I think it should be Mad Max, because future dystopian peoples deserve to get to high-five eachother knowing that they got it right.
Tony's avatar

Tony· 99 weeks ago

I’m going to throw what I think might be a curveball and suggest: Rosencrantz and Gldenestern are Dead.
AttilaThePBNun's avatar

AttilaThePBNun· 99 weeks ago

How about a Disney movie? “The Aristocats’; what would a society based on a cartoon movie about talking animals be like? Would they all be vegetarians? Expect for fish, of course. They’d eat fish ….
allen's avatar

allen· 99 weeks ago

This comic clearly is calling out for a Spaag and Skeev spin-off series.
lou's avatar

lou· 99 weeks ago

I just love comic-Eli’s insane optimism, even in the face of logic and there’s easier ways to do things. Is he like this all the time?

Phoenix Comicon 2013 Fancy Sketches Part 1

The Phoenix Phancy Bastards had some excellent sketch requests this year. Here’s part 1 of a 2 part collection of my favorites. Looks like Gallifrey Comicon might not be too far away since we just discovered Gallifrey.

COMMENTERS: Speaking of Gallifrey Comicon, in what fictional geek genre place would you like to see a comic convention held? What are the panels, the events, etc? Who are the speakers?

Comments (14)

Admin Options

If anyone wants the original Josh “Powergirl” black and white art, it’s for sale. $30 shipped in the USA.

4 replies · active 107 weeks ago

Scott's avatar

Scott · 107 weeks ago

I’d love to get the Josh Powergirl piece. How to get it?
Paypal $30 (if you’re in the US) to store at hijinksensue dot com and include your mailing address. Also let me know if I should sign it to anyone.


Scott's avatar

Scott · 107 weeks ago

Will do, thanks
Scott's avatar

Scott · 107 weeks ago

I don’t see a direct link form that piece, so will “donate” $30 and mention inthe comments what it’s for and where to send it. Thanks!
Bryce's avatar

Bryce · 107 weeks ago

Moria could be an epic convention hall once they cleaned the place up.
Adwxxx's avatar

Adwxxx · 107 weeks ago

lou's avatar

lou · 107 weeks ago

I can see Coruscant hosting a Con, since a planet-covering city just HAS to have a totally bitching convention center. Then again, organizing something that size would be a nightmare.
Candace's avatar

Candace · 107 weeks ago

Love the Captain Jacks and the Josh!
…is that the temporal dimensional pod from 7 Days?
Charles Foster Kane's avatar

Charles Foster Kane · 107 weeks ago

So I guess Benedict Cumberbatch plays Khan in the new Star Trek movie? I’m seeing Star Trek tonight because it didn’t open sooner in my country, so that kind of spoils it for me 🙁

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

Yeah, don’t go to geeky American websites until you’ve seen it.
Andy's avatar

Andy · 107 weeks ago

If you would make a fancy, weathered-looking print of the Vitruvian Zuul, I would be so happy (and pay you moneystuff for it).

Something Strange And It Don’t Look Good

“George Hurt You” shirts are in the store!!!

Show Us On The Trilogy Where George Hurt You - funny star wars t-shirt, george lucas shirt, star wars parody

“Seriously! Who is that young ghost dude with the Sith-eating grin on his face? I’ve never seen him before in my life.”

I know I typically dress up the HE characters for HE-ween, but since I already did that for the “Fancy Bastards Assemble” print just last week I thought I would go in a different direction. Honestly, I was trying to figure out how to do this comic as a “costumes” gag, but in the end it just seemed forced. Either way, just remember that if the light’s green, the droid’s clean.

COMMENTERS: What were you for Halloween (besides drunk)? Feel free to post links to pics of your costumes in the comments. Any particularly fantastic Halloween costume stories? Kiddo wanted to be a ghost, so the wife and I made a SPOOKtacle of a costume, though it doesn’t top our homemade “Boo” costume from a few years back.

Josh IRL went as a character from his company’s game Borderlands called Salvador.

Borderlands Salvador Halloween Costume By Josh Jeffcoat

[more pics here]

I have no idea how he cell shaded himself (which is different than blue-ing oneself). He’s come such a long way since Gaytos.

BONUS COMIC: Since he is still without power I decided to send Jeph Jacques of Questionable Content a guest comic. It features a character he, Randy and I created last year  in Austin, TX named Sergei. All you need to know about Sergei is he is a man of means. Whatever you need, he can get it. Or something close to it.

Questionable Content Guest Comic - Sergei - by Joel Watson Of Hijinks ENSUE

Who You Gonna Cast?

UPDATE: Ok, so maybe this movie isn’t happening after all.

Thanks to Fancy Bastard Patrick Kovacich for suggesting “Perfect Strangers” as the worst possible pinball machine ever.

I think the idea of a Judd Apatow produced “Ghostbusters” 3 is perfect. I really hope be brings together the Apatow Dream Team to make this one a gem. They also need the “butthole pleasures/alligator fuckhouse” indian dude from “40 Year Old Virgin” to play… Gozer. Sure.

Fanboy herecy or the perfect continuation of a beloved geek franchise? Send in the comments!