The Old Bait And Switch

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I’ve got a really simple solution for anyone upset that Fox may bring Futurama back without Billy West, Katey Segal, John DiMaggio, Tres MacNeille, Phil LaMarr, Maurice LeMarche, Lauren Tom and David Herman.

Just don’t watch it.

Fuck it. Pretend the show was never renewed and go back to however you felt a few months ago before they announced Futurama’s 2nd resurrection. Fox is a tricky nemesis. They lull you into a false sense of confidence by renewing Dollhouse, then BAM! They’ve smashed you in the nuts with a 40 lb. paving stone and fired all the Futurama voice actors.

There’s no point in my enumerating all the ways in which this decision reaches heretofore unknown depths of douchebaggedness and cockery. It’s obvious that this unFuturama will be an utter abortion of entertainment without the original voice cast. Can you imagine how embarrassing the show will be when Fry or Bender open their mouths to deliver a line and the sound of some pathetic imposter comes out?

Wait a second. This worked before, didn’t it? When John K. was fired from Ren and Stimpy! They found a voice actor to take over the part of Ren and the difference was hardly noticeable. Some would say the replacement was better than the original. Who was that? Can they get him? OH RIGHT! It was Billy West. Well eff that plan, I guess. The real problem is that Futurama had the uncanny fortune of featuring ALL OF THE BEST VOICE ACTORS IN HOLLWOOD. They are truly irreplaceable. Futurama is still quite canceled, dead and buried as far as I’m concerned. [unless this is all a publicity stunt]