Parallelogramps

Parallelogramps

CRUISE FUNDRAISER UPDATE: All 100 “Bridge Collapse” prints are sold, signed, packed and shipping as I type. If you ordered, you’ll get a shipping email soon. Me and Wil Wheaton made some shirts for you to put on your body.  I have mixed feelings about the ending of Fringe (warning you now, I will definitely be posting SPOILERS]. On one hand, I LOOOOOVED the show, loved the characters, loved the intricate, interweaving plots and subplots and especially loved John Noble’s mushy grandpa face that he wants me to kiss the cheeks of because he is my crazy science grandpa. On the other hand (and this is coming from someone who just said all of those things that I just said), I think they finished telling the story of Fringe a season ago when they finally realized William Bell was the big bad all along and defeated him. Every mystery established since the pilot: what’s with all the weirdo science crap happening all over the place, who’s this dude David Robert Jones, and what’s his deal, why is Olivia so special, why is Peter so SUPER special, who are the ZFT and are they the bad guys, who are the observers and are THEY the bad guys, who is William Bell and IS HE the bad guy, what happened to Walter’s brain, what’s the deal with Nina and Massive Dynamic and ARE THEY the bad guy? All of these questions were answered to my satisfaction by the time Olivia took the bullet to the head on Belly’s boat. Everything that happens after that point (and really everything that happens in...
Am I Evil? Yes I Am.

Am I Evil? Yes I Am.

All of the discount shirts in the HE store have been FURTHER DISCOUNTED to $12.95! That is IN-SANE. You can get your “And My Axe!” shirts, your “Unicorn Poop” shirts, your “Sci-Fi Tv Movie Title Generator” shirts and more for less than something that costs exactly $14. GO GO GO!  IT’S OVER! This comic completes the first mini story arc since I started toying with the notion of light continuity in the comics. I’m pretty pleased with the results and I feel like I learned a great deal about how to integrate longer stories into HE in the future (mostly due to mistakes I made during this part of the experiment). Now I just have to figure out if I remember how to do gag comics. Is Doctor Who still a thing? He has a hat, right? I hope you enjoyed this new beginning for HE. I came up with a LOT more ideas for the E.F.E. than I could fit in these first 6 comics, so I expect we’ll see him again sooner rather than later. My goal is that within a couple of months a new reader will be able to read the recent comics and really get a sense for who the characters are without feeling like they are hindered by years of complex continuity and backstory. I guess we’ll see how that pans out. I have missed getting to comment on things that are happening in geek pop culture AS they are happening. I’m sure, as time goes on, I’ll find a way to strike a happy balance. Either that, or I’ll lose all my...
The Fringe Candidates

The Fringe Candidates

You’re The Last Of The Timelords, Charlie Brown Your foreign policy record is questionable at best, and you have yet to form a coherent theory as to where Nina Sharp’s true allegiance lies. What makes you think you can lead this country?  Sorry, non-Fringe fans. Not because you don’t get this comic, but because you aren’t enjoying the best show on TV. This will likely be Fringe’s final season (a year sooner than J.J. Abrams would like), due to it being too fantastic to be profitable. This seems to be the fate of all original, thought-provoking, well acted (extremely well acted in the case of John “Please let me curl up in your grandpa cheeks” Noble), well produced sci-fi on television. Any show that refuses to dumb down it’s intensely complicated, yet expertly executed premise in order to reach a wider audience just isn’t commercially viable on TV. I think Fringe is the type of show you have to already be a sci-fi fan to enjoy. It asks a lot of the audience, but the average sci-fi fan is already used to accepting things like alternate dimensions, shapeshifters, techno-organic hybrid beings, and Leonard Nimoy. Each of those is probably a stumbling block for the average Joe “Is Real Housewives new tonight?” Television Viewer. J.J. Abrams has said that this season’s finale  can act as a series finale if the worst happens, but that certainly won’t be ideal for the fans or the creators. I want, just for once, to know what the actual planned ending of a high concept sci-fi show was supposed to be. LOST and BSG don’t count since...
Regional Nomenclature

Regional Nomenclature

TEAM EDWARD [James Olmos] THERE IS A NEW HE PODCAST!!! EPISODE 82 – C2E2 2011 Webcomics Rountable featuring: Joel Watson of HijiNKS ENSUE, Kris Wilson and Rob DenBleyker of Cyanide and Happiness, Ryan Sohmer of Least I Could Do, and Danielle Corsetto from Girls With Slingshots. If you preordered HE Book 2, please read the updated shipping times on THIS PAGE. Fringe, the best serious scifi show on television (prove me wrong, I dare you. I DARE YOU!) was picked up by Fox for a fourth season. Ever since I heard the news via Twitter I have been consulting the scrolls, casting the bones and reading the Alphabits in a vain attempt to figure out how this occurance fits into the Fox’s grand scheme of ultimate geek sadness. Friday night death slot? Hah! Fringe is renewed for a 4th season! Most of you already know that Fox’s Doom Engine is fueled by the tears of geeks and nerds, and NOT just any tears. No. Only the tears of ultimate suffering. Their Hate Furnace won’t move one inch when filled with tears born of physical pain. It requires a propellant created from equal parts lost hope and broken dreams and wilted spirits. Some are theorizing that putting Fringe in the Friday Night Death Slot, only to renew it against all conceivable Foxlogic is just a ploy to make its eventual termination all the more bitter and the ensuing tear-fuel all the more potent. Perhaps there are darker machinations at play. Perhaps we will explore these in next week’s HE comics. Perhaps. [spolers: we will]   Tags: anna torv, australia, fox, fringe, rupert murdoch, scifi,...
Emerald City Comicon Fancy Sketches Part 1

Emerald City Comicon Fancy Sketches Part 1

The only geek greeting you’ll ever need! The Sci-Five! Get up on that Sci-Five shirt business! I must have said this 100 times over the course of the last weekend but Emerald City Comicon is THE BEST show of the year. In terms of what? Sales, fan interaction, after hours activities, location/host city, general shenanigans? Yes. The answer is yes. I have never had a weekend so packed with wonderful friends, amazing experiences, and so much excitement in my entire life. Here are some of the highlights in mostly chronological order: Thursday: Southwest lost one of my bags, which delayed me just long enough to run into Wheaton on the way out the airport. We had sushi for lunch. Sushi With Wheaton is my Reel Big Fish cover band [thanks twitter]. That night Wheaton and I met Stepto, Jason Finn [of PUSA], Marian Call and John Roderick for drinks and Wheaton bought me a beer. Even if you don’t drink a lot of beer, when Wil Wheaton buys you one you drink it. Jason Finn took Stepto, Wheaton and I to his AMAZETITS italian restaurant, Via Tribunali, for [no exageration] the best pizza I have ever had in my life. Stepto and I went to the Marian Call show at Fremont Abbey. She was dope. Dope and a half in fact. Southwest called to say they found my bag. It had been lost in Albuquerque. The lady told me the condition they found the bag in, and I asked her to repeat herself. “Yes… shredded.” Good. I just wanted to make sure I hadn’t suddenly gone deaf with rage. Friday: Day...
Maybe In A Walternate Dimension

Maybe In A Walternate Dimension

THE GEEKIEST OF ALL BRITISH KNIGHTS ON ONE SHIRT!!! NEW HE PODCAST [episode 79] IS HERE! Hours of extra podcast (including a Post Show where I sing autotuned 80’s pop hits) are HERE for Vault Subscribers. Fringe star says fans need to campaign NOW to save the show Every amazing Walter Bishop moment from last night’s Fringe ‘What’s The Protocol They Use Over There??’ More Death-Slot FRINGE!! COMMENTERS: What other “fringe science bonding experiences” could I share with Grandpa Walter? Any other mad scientists that would make great grandpas or creepy uncles? Tags: fox, friday night death slot, fringe, john noble, scifi,...
I Mean About Future Calamity

I Mean About Future Calamity

Get your HijiNKS ENSUE Book 2 Preoder on! GO HERE NOW! Over 1/4 of the Ultimate Fancy Editions are already gone! Enjoy this Lo-FijiNKS comic while I am at Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage in Austin this weekend and with David, Danielle, Randy, Jeph, Bill, and  Josh. Listeners to the HE Podcast will know that conversations with Eli in real life often take unexpected and indecipherable twists and turns. What you see above is a fictional account of a conversation that never took place, but easily could have and in an alternate universe, probably did. Speaking of alternate universes, the writers over at Fringe seem to have a sense of humor since they did actually name their first episode in the FOX Friday Night Death Slot “Firefly.” I assume the next few episodes will be entitled “Dollhouse,” “Terminator: TSCC,” “Dark Angel” and… oops. Cancelled. Also speaking of alternate universes, I wrote two scripts for this comic and decided to make them both. Here’s the alternate. [click to embiggen, then click AGAIN to fully embiggen] Why Fringe‘s Walternate isn’t such a bad guy after all Fringe producers: Why our move to Fridays is a GOOD thing Just how real is Fringe‘s war between universes? What does Olivia Dunham have in common with Buffy Summers? Tags: firefly, fox, fringe, scifi,...
The Final Stage Is Acceptance

The Final Stage Is Acceptance

Are you surprised Fox is slowly and calmly building a Fringe-sized coffin? Seeing as we have already established the Fringe is the best Sci-Fi show on TV, and FOX’s Doom Engine is powered by geek tears, you shouldn’t be. I honestly think Fringe is one of those shows that has a complete narrative to tell and, thus, needs an end date. Just not a surprise one. I can see the major arc of Fringe and it’s creative steam carrying it through a phenomenal 4th season and perhaps to a 5th, but beyond that it could suffer from the same slow death that claimed The X-Files. The last thing I want is for another TV Sci-Fi masterpiece to outstay it’s welcome. But Fringe deserves a chance to wrap things up on it’s own time and with support from the network. Time and time again, FOX has shown us that Friday night is the last stop before an untimely cancellation. It’s almost like how your trash collectors only take branches and leaf bags every other week, so you stick them on the edge of your lawn just waiting for them to be collected. Friday night is the edge of FOX’s lawn. You might as well go read some more Fringe comics, because I have a feeling I’m only going to get the opportunity to make one or two more. Tags: fox, fringe, scifi,...
From The Makers Of Moon Wine

From The Makers Of Moon Wine

Please accept this Lo-FijiNKS comic substitute while I am in Austin, TX with SCARY UNCLE RANDY this weekend at AUSTIN COMIC CON. I will have giant prints of the Austin-Inspired BBQ Comic! PLUS there will be a joint HE/S*P Meetup after the show Saturday Night [DETAILS HERE]. There is also a new episode of the HijiNKS ENSUE Podcast! GO! ENJOY IT WITH YOUR HEAD AND FACE! As a personal favor to me, please watch Fringe and SG:U, then tell all your friends to do the same. I needs them. I needs them like a space wino needs him some’o that space wine. Ohhh that space wine is mighty fine. Why we love Fringe—and why this could be its last season ‘It’s The Key To The Universe!!’ Fox’s First Earth-One FRINGE Adventure Since Oct. 14!! SGU finally reveals Destiny’s secrets, for the “Greater Good” 8 reasons you should watch Stargate Universe tonight and beyond Tags: fringe, scifi, sgu, stargate,...
Just When I Thought I Was Out…

Just When I Thought I Was Out…

NEW SHIRT! NEW SHIRT! THE BEST SHIRT I’VE EVER MADE!!! Science Fiction TV-Movie Title Generator T-Shirt @Topatoco!!! There is also a PRINT of this design too! I wrote this comic right after the Fringe season 2 finale last week, but it was unfortunately preempted by a couple of LOST comics. This is really a shame because part of my job is to relate to you, gentle Fancy Bastard, what I think is worthy of your geeky time, attention and monies. And though the point of deciding between the two series is rendered moot by the completion of one of them (LOST SPOILERS: Everyone dies! No really. Everyone. You, me, everyone eventually dies), Fringe is the one scifi show above all others currently in production that I can say, “IF YOU AREN’T WATCHING IT, YOU SHOULD BE!” It is by far the most satisfying science fiction on TV. The initial problems I had with Fringe season 1, and the beginning of season 2 is that they had an extraordinary main story arch (there is at least one parallel universe along side ours, one of them has to go for the other to survive and neither side is going down without a fight) which they tended to ignore in favor of “freak of the week” type story lines. This was less a flaw of the writing/direction of Fringe and more of a testament to how badly I personally wanted to know more about the “other side.” I realize now that they stand alone episodes probably made the show more accessible to those just jumping in at any random point in the first...
I Fought The Law of Conservation of Matter

I Fought The Law of Conservation of Matter

HEY! How about buying a HijiNKS ENSUE book? Check my Twitter Feed for 15% discount coupons to the HE Store. If a book ain’t your style but you want to support the comic, maybe make a small donation why not? Fringe (who’s midseason finale last night inspired this comic) is the best scifi television program being produced on TV right now (unless you count that show about the super religious people with cloning facility). From writing to casting to FX this show is nearly perfect… other than the fact that is has one of the most compelling main plot lines of the last decade which it almost NEVER explores in any fashion. The overall arch of Fringe is that there are two parallel universes (ours and a slightly more technologically advanced but WAY more fucked up one), which are destined to go to war for their very survival. Agents from the alternate universe have been conducting crazy experiments on our side in preparation for the coming war and the FBI from our side is busy piecing these events together into something they call “The Pattern.” At the center of all of the mysteries seems to be Dr. Walter Bishop and his former partner William Bell. Bishop seems to have lost his memory and mind nearly 20 years ago, so he doesn’t quite remember his part in all of this universe hopping madness though the clues always seem to place him square in the middle of whatever the weirdness of the week is. His former partner, William Bell, was equally brilliant but instead going bat tits nuts he founded to the wealthiest and most powerful...
A Severe Case Of Scullyosis

A Severe Case Of Scullyosis

A condition first diagnosed in a female FBI agent in the mid-nineties, Scullyosis prevents the subject from accepting the strange and paranormal despite clear supporting evidence or strong personal experience. Sufferers of Scullyosis will deny the existence of aliens, for example, even after being abducted, probed, having their DNA harvested, meeting their alien-hybrid baby, taking it to the first day of kindergarten, watching it graduate, sending it to a good 4 year college, attending its wedding and holding their own 1/4 alien grand child. It’s a powerful condition that turns potentially dynamic and interesting characters into one dimensional, broken record skeptics. If the producers of Fringe don’t do something with Peter in season 2 besides have him blurt out “that’s my father ladies and gentlemen” after every time Walter says something inappropriately sexual, they might as well write him out of the show. [actually that sentiment was conceived BEFORE I saw the season 1 finale last night. Holy shit, was it good. Peter’s story just opened all the way up. If they can lose the cheesy skepticism, and it’s going to be pretty hard not to after that ep, he might just turn into a character that I can care about.] Fringe tried a little too hard at the beginning of the season to distinguish itself from LOST by giving us self contained episodes. The main story arch was touched on, but not significantly. The show really picks up around the last 6 episodes of the season. I hope they continue that momentum going forward. It’s really an excellent show and John Noble as Walter Bishop is one of...
A Phenomenon Known As “J.J. Vu”

A Phenomenon Known As “J.J. Vu”

Even though I’ve never seen A.L.I.A.S., Josh tells me it had the same undertones. Maybe Felicity did too. It was, after all, about time travel. Maybe J.J. Abrams only has the one idea. Regardless I am going to stick around for Fringe and see where it goes. The pilot got me interested and the follow up episode that aired last night, while not stellar, managed to keep me interested. I am still “take it or leave it” at this point. Check out HE Podcast # 28 (around 02:09:30) to hear our complete opinions on the pilot, the show’s concept, its chances for survival and why Josh hates it so much. You can also voice your own opinion on Fringe in this Fancy Bastard Forum thread. If you haven’t already joined the FBF, feel free to do so NOW! Only a couple of rules: 1) Don’t be a jerk to anyone ever 2) Don’t be hateful to anyone ever 3) Debate but do not argue or attack 4) Have geeky fun Tags: fringe, j.j abrams, lost, scifi,...