Civilian Casualties


I’m not saying this happened to me at the barber shop a few days ago, but I’m not NOT saying that this is EXACTLY what happened to me when my barber asked me if I was watching Gotham and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 

I often forget that most people just watch TV instead of CONSTANTLY and RELENTLESSLY SCRUTINIZING and ANALYZING it. I also forget that many people (probably most people) aren’t super passionate about the things they talk about. Most people just talk to make sure the sound making parts in their head regions still function. It’s an involuntary act, like breathing or how your left eyelid twitches constantly (everyone has that, right?).

When normal humans ask you a question like, “Do you like that TV show?” the absolute most they are expecting in return is, “Yeah, it’s pretty good. The star is attractive and I like how it’s provides about 43 minutes a week that I’m not alone with my dark thoughts.” I forget that I intentionally surround myself with people who have both nuanced, informed opinions on the things they enjoy AND expertise in that subject. What I’m basically saying is I guess I’m an elitist prick, I think my friends are cooler than regular people, I think most people are classified as REGULAR PEOPLE (which is a monstrous thing to think in the first place) and the thought of having “small talk” with a “regular person” makes me want to feed a stray cat to an ATM.

HEY SHIRT WANTERS: I’ll be posting holiday shipping deadlines over at my store soon. If you want something before, let’s say, around the last week of December, you should probably order it now.

Want to help me bring back the HijiNKS ENSUE Podcast?! Or at least a NEW PODCAST called HijiNKS ENSUE?!  Then my Patreon is THE PLACE for you. My next goal is to relaunch my podcast and updated weekly. Go on and help out if you can. Thanks!




Sweet On Wheat-on


Comicpalooza Houston TX March 26-28

Getting a little too pluggy for your tastes? Well, the plugs are paying for my table and hotel at Comicpalooza so how about roll with it just this once and, if you are in the area, come out and see what promises to be a very cool comic/pop culture show.

Meeting Wil Wheaton at Emerald City Comicon was such a thrill that I thought the experience deserved it’s own comic. He’s such a kind and gracious dude. I highly suggest that you check out his various podcasts and books, especially the Memories of the Futurecast and the book what inspired it called [shockingly] Memories of the Future. If you ever wondered what it was like to actually grow up on the set of Star Trek: The Next Generation (especially during the highly questionable first season) this is a must-read.

Wizard World Arlington 2007

I was (this) close to getting a booth at this year’s Wizard World Arlington Comic Con. At the last minute I decided to just go an observe rather than participate. This turned out to be the right choice.

Comic Con’s are an interesting animal to be sure in that they have less to do with comic books and more to do with “I made a Taun-taun costume, do you want to sleep in my stomach?”

Josh, Eli and I loaded up and trekked to Arlington last Saturday the 17th. Almost immediately we realized no one brought a camera. The heinousness of this error was immediately evident when, as soon as we arrived, we were greeted by a young man in a Hank “Beast” McCoy costume. It looked like he had killed Cookie Monster and a dentist then combined them into a suit. I applaud his efforts because I was able to recognize him immediately. There’s a somber quality to seeing someone draped in Muppet fur then simultaneously feeling excited and remorseful. It’s sort of a “man that guy is… only 5% geekier than I am…(cry).” You think, “Dear god, it could have so easily been me in his place. A few dateless nights, a few more LAN parties and that could be me with blue clown makeup sweating off my forehead. There but for the grace of frequent sexual intercourse go I.”

It’s humbling.

Also, there were Ghost Busters, which fucking kicked ass. No Winston though. Racists.

Wizard World is VERY small compared to medium to large sized Cons. You can walk the whole thing and see everything you need to see in 45 minutes or so. There were some fantastic artists and some not-so-fantastic-more-so-depressing ones as well. By contrast this one guy had these amazing paintings of The Joker, and another guy had Sexy Naughty Bugs Bunny Characters as X-Men. No joke. That’s a niche fetish if I ever saw one. Its a niche within a niche… a “nested niche” if you will.

I ran into DJ Coffman at the Drunk Duck booth. He was pimping his new book “Hero by Night” about a kid who finds a super power ring and tried to sell it on eBay but gets sucked into super heroism. Check it out. I used to read his webcomic “How To” blog. He stopped a while back to go pro. You can read his old webcomic here.

He gave me some great tips on getting the most from Project Wonderful. Thanks, DJ! You are now my third favorite DJ next to him and her.

Regarding extreme sadness at Cons:

  1. I saw a furry. A real live (if you call that living) fury. That is all.
  2. Dermot Crowley from Star Wars: ROTJ was there. Who the eff is that? He’s General Madine. Who the effing ess is that? Exactly. No One talked to him. He stood near Mark Hamil at one point in time (oh shit, I want his autograph). At one point they came over the PA to remind people that he was there. I got so sad.
  3. Herb “Non-hot-Asian-Boomer” Jefferson was there. Original BSG sucked and the con goers seemed to agree. See #2.
  4. Lou Ferrigno was there. This was only sad because he was awesome and the line was too long and he wanted money for pictures. Fail.
  5. Saddest of all, Noel Neil was there. She played Lois Lane back when TV’s were powered by coal and coal was powered by steam. She is 240 years old and looks every bit of it. I made Josh take a picture over my shoulder with my phone. I think I may have removed a bit of her life force because she seemed to age while the picture was being taken.

The ghost of Lois Lanes passed

This guy was VERY serious about hitting people with foam swords.

Very Serious.