Method Man

Emerald City ComiCon 2013

Emerald City Comicon is THIS WEEKEND in Seattle. It is my favorite show of the year and I will be at the Blind Ferret Booth (#1106-1108) all weekend. Check out the new mini-banner/ price sheet I made for ECCC on my Tumblr.

I will have a lot of the stuff pictured in the ad below with me at the con, but what I really want is for YOU to have it. In return I want to have your dollars.

OK, I know this is crazy bonkers banana sauce, but hear me out Hollywood. How about for the next Oscars you hire a professional entertainer to host? Maybe someone who is used to being on stage in front of a lot of people. Maybe someone who doesn’t come off like he is reading his bad jokes for the very first time in front of 100 million people. Maybe, oh I dunno, a comedian? Or a seasoned veteran of the stage? Someone who isn’t constantly shouting, “I REALLY DON’T BELONG UP HERE!!!” with his eyebrows. The 2013 Oscars were a crap stabbing train wreck. Perhaps not quite as train wrecky has last years “Which host has greater contempt for the other?” contest, but the train was thoroughly and irrefutably wrecked.

Seth MacFarlane has a fantastic voice, and he’s managed to become the highest paid comedy writer in history (despite having relied on the same 7 jokes for the last 15 years), but Oscar host is a job he is in no way qualified for. His subpar hosting performance could have been saved by some top notch writing, but they seem to have gone instead with NO writing. I found myself staring at nearly every bit and bit of banter with the face I usually reserve for Five Gum commercials. A sort sideway eye-SQUONK that says, “I know what all of these things are individually, but when you put them together in this way, I suffer complete cognitive disconnect from whatever emotions you may have intended to evoke, or message you were attempting to relay.” Did anyone have any idea what the dudes from The Avengers were talking about? If the real Avengers were that unrehearsed and disorganized, you know who would be hosting the Oscars? MOTHER FUCKING THANOS. That’s who.

When Daniel Day-Lewis took the stage to accept his Best Actor Award (which at this point really shouldn’t be applied to any particular film since he is just THE. BEST. ACTOR.) he seemed to either have rehearsed his jokes so much that they seemed completely off the cuff and hilariously perfect or HE’S JUST THAT GOD DAMN WONDERFUL. My vote is for the latter. I was really hoping D-Day-Lew would have just decked MacFarlane right in the beady black shark eyes and, as his foe lay gobsmacked on the floor, let out a John Lovitz-esque, “ACTING!”

COMMENTERS: Speaking of method acting, or The Method, as purveyors of douchebaggery might call it, have you ever kept up a falsehood for so long that it eventually became true? For instance, did you ever pretend to like something (say to impress a potential partner) that you eventually really liked it, or at least knew so much about it that you were nearly an expert?

At my last real job, one of the requirements during the interview was than I be proficient in Photoshop (a particular proficiency that I totally lacked, despite what my resume might have said). I had to fake it nearly every day with tricks like the “I know how I would do it, but how would YOU do it?” technique or the “Yeah, I can do that [QUICK GO WATCH A TUTORIAL ON YOUTUBE]” process. I did this so much so  that I did eventually become somewhat of a Photoshop expert. Now it’s the main medium I work in for my comic-maker job.

Wheaton Comic Dare: Cutaways And Castouts

3 New Shirts at @Sharksplode: Wibbly Wobbly Timey WimeyRival Smugglers and Might Club!

Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Shirt - Doctor Who and MST3k Parody shirts


Whig Party dudes, amirite? They are THE worst. Every time you try to involve them in a bit, it just falls flat. Wil was on Family Guy last week. He tweeted, I made a joke, he dared. It’s the way of the world.

COMMENTERS: Who’s your favorite TV or film actor (who doesn’t regularly do a TON of voice work) to pop up in an animated thing? Speaking of Star Trek allums, I do love when I hear Patrick Stewart’s be-knighted tones in a cartoon. Of course Michael Dorn is always nice, but he was practically a full time VO actor for a decade. The reverse is an altogether different sensation. I love seeing Jeffrey Combs (one of my FAVORITE voice actors) acting on screen. He was in Deep Space 9 a lot and I recently saw him in The Frighteners. He’s got such a captivating/creepy on-screen presence.

Speaking of voice actors:  HE Podcast Episode 93 With Voice Actors Yuri Lowenthall and Tara Platt!

If you want to help decide the fate of the next HijiNKS ENSUE JoCo Cruise fundraiser, check out this thread in the Fancy Bastard Facebook Group.

The Bit Goes on for Like 6 Minutes

Much like the first installment, I expect Hellboy 2 to be fun, but not great (or even great fun). It will be visually pleasing and keep me pretty entertained for 2 hours. I’m not really asking for anything more. I just don’t anticipate LOVING it.

That could change with the addition of Seth MacFarlane to the cast, as Johann Kraus, a disembodied psychic entity who lives in a containment suit.

His voice is like baritone molasses. I would pay him to read stories to me at night. If you haven’t seen him speak in person or on video, his real voice is basically that of Brian the Griffin’s dog. Almost exactly. I would murder people for a voice like that. Much like Maurice LaMarche, I have a voice-crush on Seth MacFarlane.

I’ve always had a weird thing about voices in general. I pay very close attention to a person’s vocal cadence, use of words, speech patterns, etc when they talk. Sometime to the point that I don’t hear what they are saying.

Typically this allows me to impersonate people (usually real people, rather than famous people) with relative ease. If I can’t SOUND like them, I can usually TALK like them. It’s a blessing and a curse. I was watching a rerun of Deep Space 9 late at night. It was a final season episode with Ezri Dax. I hadn’t seen any of these in at least 4 or 5 years, but I immediately noticed that the actress, Nicle DeBoer, had a speech impediment. It was slight. She can’t say an “S” without mashing her tongue against her teeth. Once I noticed it, the episode was shot from there. It didn’t offend me, but I couldn’t help but notice it EVERY time she spoke.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I’m grateful for this…talent(?) because I think it allows me to enjoy a particular actor in a way most people don’t notice.

I think I started doing this as a child when I realized that the same 4 or 5 voice actors were on EVERY cartoon in the 80’s. I didn’t know who they were because there was no internet. Later in life I looked them up and started researching their careers and others.

Other than Maurice, some personal favorites are  Rob Paulsen, Billy West, David Warner, Kevin Conroy, Phil LaMar, Keith David, Tres MacNeille and Pamela Segall Adlon. You’ll notice at least half of these people ended up on “Futurama”, making the best best voice acted series in the history or time and space.

Any favorite voice actors? Any weird minutia that you pick up on that most people seem to miss?