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Like, Share And HAVE YOUR MINDS BLOWN!

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Everyone has this friend on Facebook. If you DON’T have this friend on Facebook, then [SPOILERS] you ARE this friend on Facebook. Also you are the worst. There are a few people whose company I enjoy in real life and whose online behavior is that of an insane weirdo. These are the types of people that can only post in the form of rants, screed, diatribes and various other WALLS OF GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT YELLING WORDS.

My Patrons got a TOTALLY DIFFERENT VERSION OF THE LAST SHARKSPLODE COMIC with four TOTALLY DIFFERENT JOKES!!! WHAT?!?!? I KNOW!!! THEY’RE SO SMART AND ATTRACTIVE AND LUCKY!!!!!!!

Dearest Sharksploders, please help me get my Patreon over the $2000 hump. Comics is my full time job, but it doesn’t currently pay full time money. I’ve been doing a lot of freelance work lately (which distracts me from making comics) to make ends meet, and I’ve agreed to attend more conventions this year than I really feel comfortable with (which REALLY distracts me from making comics) out of financial fear. Every little bit helps and is QUITE appreciated.

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I know these people are just venting, but I feel like they don’t understand that their venting has an audience, and not, perhaps, the audience to which their venting is directed. If you, like me, only really pay attention to to your close friends and family on Facebook, then any generalized “WAKE UP SHEEPLE!” type ranting that you post just makes your close friends and family think you’re an unhinged lunatic. Most people are not celebrities, and thus not privy to a large audience of strangers at which to broadcast ill-informed, un-researched, overly aggressive opinions.

That is, unless you still follow all your racist friends from high school, or your homophobic aunts, uncles and grandparents. Then you have a larger issue which is, why do you do this to yourself? Why do you invite negativity into your life? I’m sure e-yelling at these people feels great, but you’re also in e-earshot of all of your otherwise cool e-online-web-biz-2.0-friends and you are making them feel weird. It would feel SO MUCH better to just unfollow, block or otherwise ignore all the negative shitwads in your life. Ignore those shitwads! You deserve it. So do they.

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Ask Not For Whom The Ring Tones

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HijiNKS ENSUE At Dallas Animefest

This weekend (STARTING TODAY!) I’ll be at Dallas Animefest with Rob from Explosm. We’ll be in the dealer room, terrified of glomping cat-girls and Sailor Bubbas alike. I’ll have both HE Books, Prints, sketch cards, “Grammar Dalek” Shirts and “The Doctor Is In” shirts.

Podcast Episode 86 “Oh No! Promotheus!” is live.

The site seems to be having RSS feed problems again. Working on it, but for now the Fancy Full Feed for donors seems to be good and rightly borked.

My phone “rings” so infrequently, that when it does I am completely unprepared and incapable of dealing with it. Sometimes I get confused and angry all at once and start yelling, “WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING AT ME ROBOT!? I DON’T HAVE ANY FUEL FOR YOUR INTAKE PORT! BAD ROBOT! BAD!” Other times I get suspicious. The only people I like (my wife and my daughter) are IN THE HOUSE with me. Who the hell else could possibly be trying to talk to me unless they are an enemy agent of THE MOST UNCLEAN trying to trick me into a fiddle contest or a game of Words With Friends with their cloven-hoofed master? Oh Christicles! Is the call coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!?!?!? Did someone sign my 5 year old daughter up for a 2 year commitment calling plan!? WHAT KIND OF DATA PACKAGE DID SHE GET!? EVEN IF THEY SAID IT WAS UNLIMITED, THEY ARE RARELY ACTUALLY UNLIMITED! WHAT DID YOU DO MY DAUGHTER!?

I also have weird hangup about voicemails. I get all of 1, maybe 2 voicemails a month and I NEVER want to check them. I can see the name of the caller, and the time they called, and I can see the length of the voicemail they left. Somehow that seems like it should be enough information to discern their unheard message. What could they have possibly said in 14 seconds that was all that important? “HELP! FIRE! FACE FIRE! FIRE ON FACE!!!” That only took 8 seconds. Something seems fishy. What were they trying to convince me to do with those last 6 seconds? I’d better change my number and never talk to them again. WAIT! How long does it take to invite me to a super fun birthday party with bouncy castles!? FUCK. Only 11 seconds.

COMMENTERS: How has the changing telecommunications landscape altered your phone using habits? Are you annoyed by people that ONLY text or are you one of them? Does anyone use IM services anymore? Do you get frustrated that all of your friends aren’t on Skype video ALL OF THE TIME like you are?

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“One Forty” (A Film By Paul Thomas Anderson)

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“I… I didn’t realize I had gotten so many followers. I’m… sorry. So sorry.”

“WHAT DOES IT MATTER NOW, HARDWICK?! THEY ALL KNOW! DON’T YOU SEE, YOU BASTARD?! THEY ALL KNOW ABOUT THE SANDWICH AND WE CAN NEVER PUT THE GENIE BACK IN THE BOTTLE! IT’S OVER. IT’s all… over… [weeps]”

And scene.

I hate to admit it, but this Facebook movie, The Social Network, looks pretty good. I hate that there is a compelling story behind the creation of one of the main things I dislike about The Internet. Facebook is one of the nearly necessary evils that seems to foil your every attempt to find actual usability in it. It has unfeatures.

Since I used @nerdist in this comic I should ad least encourage you to listen to his podcast which I enjoy quite a bit. Comedy nerds and fans of people that make a living doing their own thing are sure to enjoy.

Commenters! Post more scenes from the Twitter movie why don’t ya?

Also, do me a favor and sign up for  a free Dropbox account so I can get more storage to send my prints to the printer.

If you want to see some alternate artwork for this comic that didn’t make the cut or read my original script idea, head on over to The Vault. Make a small donation via Paypal or subscribe to a monthly donation and get access to desktops, mobile wallpapers, bonus podcasts and lots of behind the scenes art.

Youtubes, Facebooks and Flickrs, Oh My!

I wanted to point out a few new developments for HijiNKS Ensue that some of you Fancy Bastards might enjoy.

Finnish FB, Jarmo, started an HE Facebook Group.

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I’ve finally started uploading reader pics to Flickr.

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I also posted some pics from one of our first HE Podcasts. Probably episode 4 or 5.

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I’ll keep updating these as I get new pics, so send yours to comics(at)hijinksensue(dot)com.

I also wanted to remind you that if you use Twitter, you can follow me here.

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And you can check out my video blogs, where I chronicle my attempts to make a living from this comic, here.

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Lastly, looks like I’ll be working with FB Bill to set up a Fancy Bastard Forum. More on that as it develops.

I’m on the Facebook! What does that mean?!

I guess I’m on Facebook now. It’s one aspect of the internet that I really don’t grasp. I know why I don’t understand Myspace. It’s an assault on the senses and an affront to all logical thinking. Everyone raves about Facebook and it’s series of Apes (I know it’s Apps but can you imagine? Apes? On Facebook? That would be crazy).

Anywho, friend me up here and maybe we’ll have some online together.

Speaking of being social. Would anyone be interested in an HE forum? Just a thought.