2014-03-14-scared-straight

Scared Straight

2014-03-14-scared-straight

NEWS NEWS NEWS!!!

HijiNKS ENSUE finally has a proper About/Characters page, and an Archive page that links to and explains the different types of comics I’ve made over the years. I’ve also updated the Support page.

becomepatron

My Patreon hit $750, so starting in April (the first month Patrons will be charged) HijiNKS ENSUE will have an official Monday/Wednesday/Friday update schedule and THEN it went past $1000 so every month I will do TWO HijiNKS Hangouts, where me and my awesome cartoonist/creator/maker/professional awesome person friends will hang out with you live via Google+, answer questions, tell stories, draw dicks, etc. It will be a lot like my ComfyCon Panel.

At $1500, you will be forcing me to do FOUR HE comics a week, and I am OK with that.

SEATTLE FANCY BASTARDS! Emerald City Comicon is in 2ish weeks! 

David and I will be at booth #1412 [MAP] right next to Cyanide & Happiness! I will have the leftover DDDT prints, other prints, books, shirts and sketches.

I’ll be doing TWO PANELS: 

“The Cyanide and Happiness Group Sketch Jam Panel” / Friday, March 28, 6:10pm, Hall B, (Rooms 608-609)
“The Experiment: Making a Living Doing What you Love” / Saturday, March 29, 6:00pm, ROOM 3AB.

More panel info HERE

HijiNKS ENSUE Woody After HoursAlso, make sure to follow the 6 comic guest arch Joel (“Comic Joel,” that is) will is doing over at Woody After Hours starting HERE.

 

 

 

 
COMMENTERS: Did you ever meet someone as a kid, or hear someone speak as a teen, or interact with a particular person in any way that made you say, “THAT. That is what I want to be.” Hearing Niel deGrasse Tyson talk on Cosmos (seriously, watch this show with your kids) about his encounter with Carl Sagan at 17, and how it shaped not only WHAT he wanted to become, but THE KIND OF PERSON he wanted to be really got me thinking about this.

2014-03-10-lets-real-talk

Let’s Real Talk

2014-03-10-lets-real-talk

NEWS NEWS NEWS!!!

For the first time in 6+ yeas, HijiNKS ENSUE has a proper About/Characters page, and an Archive page that links to and explains the different types of comics I’ve made over the years. I’ve also updated the Support page.

My Patreon blasted past the $750, so starting in April (the first month Patrons will be charged) HijiNKS ENSUE will have an official Monday/Wednesday/Friday update schedule! I am gearing up this month, so expect something very close to a M/W/F schedule for the rest of March as well.

becomepatron

When we hit $1000 (only $25 from now, as of this posting), I’ll start (in April) producing 2 HijiNKS Hangouts (a live streaming Google Hangout with me and some of my wonderfully interesting and funny comicer/maker friends)  a month AND I will release my ukulele cover of “Let It Go” from Frozen as a thank you to all the Patrons.

At $1500 you will get FOUR HijiNKS ENSUE comics a week, Mon-Thurs. I really hope we get there, because I am looking for something to force me/guilt me into making more comics.

 SEATTLE FANCY BASTARDS! Emerald City Comicon is in 2ish weeks! 

David and I will be at booth #1412 [MAP] right next to Cyanide & Happiness! I will have the leftover DDDT prints, other prints, books, shirts and sketches.

I’ll be doing TWO PANELS: 

“The Cyanide and Happiness Group Sketch Jam Panel” / Friday, March 28, 6:10pm, Hall B, (Rooms 608-609)
“The Experiment: Making a Living Doing What you Love” / Saturday, March 29, 6:00pm, ROOM 3AB.

More panel info HERE

HijiNKS ENSUE Woody After HoursAlso, make sure to follow the 6 comic guest arch Joel (“Comic Joel,” that is) will be doing over at Woody After Hours.

2013-10-27-lo-fijinks-uncancelling-the-adrunkalypse

Uncancelling The Adrunkalypse

2013-10-27-lo-fijinks-uncancelling-the-adrunkalypse

This is taken from a Fancy Digital Sketch I did for Fancy Bastard David Lewis, who asked for “The HijiNKS ENSUE cast’s entry into the Pacific Rim Jaeger program.”

I posted a few more Fancy Digital sketches on my Tumblr (here and here). If you are still waiting on a sketch, you are a wonderful and patient person who will be rewarded very soon with a weird drawing like the one above.

I might post a few more of these sketches as Lofi’s depending on how they turn out.

Comments (4)

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R. W.'s avatar

R. W. · 85 weeks ago

Jaeger Bomb would make an awesome tshirt.
DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck · 84 weeks ago

I imagine if you get the Kaiju monsters drunk enough, they’ll have to stop wreaking havoc and start throwing up instead.

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

BUT THEY THROW UP ACID!!!!
comic-2013-09-25-all-apologies.jpg

All Apologies

comic-2013-09-25-all-apologies.jpg

PORTA JOHN SMITH” SHIRTS ARE UP AT SHARKSPLODE!!!

The big giant mega blowout HE Store sale is over, and we are putting the final touches on the new HE store which will soon (like probably October 1st) live HERE.

UPDATE ON THE FANCY DIGITAL SKETCH DRIVE: If you are still waiting on your Fancy Digital Sketch, I am SUPER BACKLOGGED on these. I am very sorry it’s taking so long. Doing 50+ original pieces of finished art always sounds easy, until you agree to do it and take money for it. I am working through them, but if you need yours urgently, feel free to let me know via email.

COMMENTERS: You get what Denise is saying, right? I mean, you GET IT, right… man? What’s the best/most confusion drunksplanation you’ve ever gotten/given? Since they are basically the same, what’s the best childsplanation (a kid trying to explain something complicated to you, giving little to no context or discernible facts) you’ve ever received?

When my daughter was 4 she had a playdate with a friend and they watched a movie. She tried to tell us what the movie was in the car on the way home. There was a man who was dead, but not all the time. And a girl who didn’t know she was really a princes and the bad man did a spell. It went on like that for 20 minutes before I realized the man who was not always dead was Rasputin and the movie was Anastasia.

PACMAN NECKLACE! WAKA-WAKA-WAKA-WAKA-WAKA…

This is my wife’s birthday week! Celebrate it by buying yourself a present from her Etsy store “Science and Fiction.” Check out her her latest geeky creation, a Pacman inspired necklace!

Pacman Necklace on Etsy

 

Comments (14)

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This became evident when we realized everything she was saying was totally accurate.
Kudos on extending the Nirvan-y goodness another comics’ worth with the title!
Adrian's avatar

Adrian · 90 weeks ago

My wife was a little loopy, but decided that would be better than being in super panic attack mode, and she sat down we me and a bunch of friends to watch Teeth. That one movie where the lady has shark teeth, y’know, down there. Well there is a scene where she dives into a lake with a guy friend and my wife innocently asks, “I wonder if her teeth are chattering.” I nearly fell out of my chair laughing.
seriously's avatar

seriously · 90 weeks ago

One time I was expecting an important phone call and had to leave the house for a few minutes. I figured they’d leave a message on my machine and that would be that.

Turns out in the fifteen minutes I was gone my sister-in-law dropped by with my 5 year old nephew to visit. And the expected phone call happened. My nephew answered the phone before she could stop him and he fervently promised whoever was on the other end he’d give me the message.

Yeah, turns out five year olds can’t take phone messages for shit.

His version of what was said basically boiled down to: “The man said to see the lady Monday, at um….I forget. But to call him back at exception um…seven hundred something. And I think his name was Lou.”

Luckily I was able to get a hold of “Lou”, whose real name was Albert, the appointment was for a Wednesday, the extension was 435, and he’d never said anything about a lady in the phone call at all.

Zee's avatar

Zee · 90 weeks ago

I remember babysitting a five year old, and her three year old sister. The five year old went to the bathroom, and after a while, I thought she’d been gone for too long. I knocked, and she opened the door, and there was a giant puddle all over the tile. It had appeared that she filled a shoebox with water (and a rubber duckie), and then put it on the floor, where it proceeded to leak everywhere. I asked her why she had ton this, and she said that she had “accidentally, but on purpose” put the water on the floor. We went through several different variations on this, but it was always “accidentally on purpose”.

After about the third or fourth iteration, I realized that this was a child’s way of saying, “Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time…” laughed, and got a mop.

1 reply · active 90 weeks ago

zee's avatar

zee · 90 weeks ago

why she had “done” this
Kevin's avatar

Kevin · 89 weeks ago

A lot of the actual conversation is lost to me, as it was me trying to explain.. I was visiting a friend and we were drinking quite a bit when I got out a bag of cookies I had brought (ziploc baggie with about 10 cookies in it?) I had a bit too much to drink, and blacked out and thought it had only been about 10 seconds when it had been about 5 minutes. All but 2 of the cookies were gone. At this point I called my female friend a fatass and got angry she had eaten all my cookies.

1 reply · active 89 weeks ago

Kevin's avatar

Kevin · 89 weeks ago

(second part got cut off.)
I then spent quite a while trying to drunkenly convince her that there had been about 30 cookies in this single small bag.

Apologies were made the following morning ..

lou's avatar

lou · 89 weeks ago

I think I’m better at explaining things when I’m drunk, because I’m just more talkative than when I’m sober, and as I hear myself, more witty and charming. I have dubbed this “The Bond Effect”.

1 reply · active 89 weeks ago

I feel the same way. I’m extremely talkative as it is, and Im VERY comfortable speaking in front of large groups of people, but after a few drinks I am just ON. I find the part of my brain that can do quick joke calculations and rapid fire comebacks, and joke tags performs at peak efficiency when slightly lubricated. Then a few more drinks and I just get reeeeeeallly quiet.
comic-2013-09-24-a-drinkin-song.jpg

A Drinkin’ Song

comic-2013-09-24-a-drinkin-song.jpg

PORTA JOHN SMITH” SHIRTS ARE UP AT SHARKSPLODE!!!

sharlsplode-porta-john-smith-ad

The big giant mega blowout HE Store sale is over, and we are putting the final touches on the new HE store which will soon live HERE. Big thanks to everyone that supported the blowout sale and my apologies to anyone that had to pay unusually high shipping prices. Unfortunately that problem wasn’t sorted out before the sale ended.

Pacman Necklace on Etsy

PACMAN NECKLACE! WAKA-WAKA-WAKA-WAKA-WAKA…

Yesterday was my wife’s birthday. Celebrate it by buying yourself a present from her Etsy store “Science and Fiction.” Check out her her latest geeky creation, a Pacman inspired necklace!

Alternate titles for this comic: “Face Down, Ass Up,” “Bound For The Floor” and “Hello Linoleum, My Old Friend.”

I used to work for a landscape company as a book keeper. I was 19 years old, I knew nothing about landscaping and even less about book keeping, but I interviewed extremely well. In fact, I’ve landed essentially every job I’ve ever interview for. Perhaps THAT should have been my job. Getting jobs. At the landscape company I worked for a tiny little man with an ENORMOUS chip on his shoulder regarding his tiny little stature. He was a temperamental little sprite and he took great joy out of bossing around his large, tall, somewhat slow-witted business partner. They had a very “George and Lenny” vibe going on. “The best laid sod of mice and men…” and what not. This little, angry dude also had a sign hung next to his desk and over his mini fridge that said “NO BEER UNTIL 5pm!” Guess what the mini fridge was full of.  Day-drunk for him was apparently both a constant struggle and a way of life.

My only real experience with that early afternoon temptress, Lady Day-drunk, comes from comic conventions. It’s much easier to get through 10 hours a day at a slow convention when a reader brings you a tiny bottle of rum and you’ve sold just enough merch to afford a $9 Coke from the concession stand. Day-drunk is the Universes way of saying, “Let’s go ahead and put a stop to this crappy day before it even happens.”

COMMENTERS: What are your best and worst experiences with being (or being around someone who is) day-drunk? Was it at a festival, a funeral, at work or at home because you’re an adult, god dammit, and no one’s going to tell you 11am isn’t wine o’clock!

Comments (40)

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seriously's avatar

seriously · 90 weeks ago

Funnily enough one morning after Christmas we wanted pancakes but realized we’d used it all making eggnog the night before.

Turns out eggnog loaded with bourbon + pancake mix = surprisingly good pancakes. And gets you slightly tipsy.

You can substitute Egg Nog for any ingredient in any recipe and it will usually improve the situation. That’s just science .
This may be my favorite ever HE storyline. You’re on a roll, Joel.

1 reply · active 90 weeks ago

Hey thanks! I’m having fun.
Annie B's avatar

Annie B · 90 weeks ago

I must say I really like the new tangent. Before, I would skip a few comics when my RSS were too full (900+ posts is way too much to go through without marking a few categories as read), but now I make a point of reading your comic every day. Good job!

1 reply · active 90 weeks ago

Mission accomplished. Thanks!
Michael Corley's avatar

Michael Corley · 90 weeks ago

Beernana is going to be the drink of the next spring break!
Wesley's avatar

Wesley · 90 weeks ago

Best day-drunk.. can’t remember. It’s great just spending the day with friends or on a festival having fun and drinking.

Not-so-great were the burn-out days. Being by yourself, avoiding everyone because everything felt like stress and getting drunk to feel better.. except you don’t. You feel worse. It didn’t happen every day, but it was darn-well rotten not being able to cope, feeling frustrated and being too drunk to finish a damn thought.

first thought: man Hijinks Eli gets drunk alot, second thought: IRL Eli would have Wolverine’s healing powers then if he drank that much lol

2 replies · active 90 weeks ago

Well, A LOT of comics so far only relates to getting drunk ONCE in actual time. It’s all relative.
mist's avatar

mist · 90 weeks ago

Well technically if he gets drunk once early on, and stays topped up, that also counts as “only once” 🙂 (con rules.)
PokeyPuppy's avatar

PokeyPuppy · 90 weeks ago

I am the most boring person alive – haven’t been drunk, let alone day-drunk, in years. But when everyone around me is getting stupid-drunk, the last thing I want is to be mentally impaired!

2 replies · active 90 weeks ago

Trish's avatar

Trish · 90 weeks ago

Weird, cuz that’s exactly when I feel the need to be drunk. Drunk people are a lot easier to tolerate when you’re impaired.
Judy R. Wilder's avatar

Judy R. Wilder · 90 weeks ago

It is good to know someone is thinking with a clear head. My biological father and Step father were both alcoholics and even though they were good men, the drinking kept them from reaching their full potential. They both died young.

A lot of people drink beer and it is the beverage of choice in many countries. I guess what I am saying is that getting plastered isn’t a solution for anything. I feel it is wrong to make people, mostly minors, think getting drunk is away to wind down or forget their troubles. It is only my opinion and I am just an ancient flower child trying to share a “little” wisdom.

Day-drunk of the living dead?
Bron's avatar

Bron · 90 weeks ago

I’ve always vaguely enjoyed getting sloshed during the day (when not working that day obviously) its especially nice in the summer. I especially like going out for lunch and having a drink and a chat in the pub until dinner and then maybe going to the club afterwards to play darts or some such. When I was in university we used to do that at least once a fortnight sometimes twice a week (we had Wednesday afternoons off you see, I think we were supposed to be doing sport or some other similar nonsense). We once worked out we drank about 200-300 units of alcohol between the 5 of us per session, I’m surprised we didn’t die of liver failure.

I had great difficulty with a co-worker once who turned up drunk to work a lot (or was suspected to be doing so, she became erratic after breaks) but no one could work out where she was getting alcohol from. We noticed she always smelled overwhelmingly of cheap floral perfume, turned out she was drinking the stuff, jolly strange way to go about things I must say.

zathael's avatar

zathael · 90 weeks ago

actually, there are three more legitimate claims. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean-Christophe,_Pri…http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_Alphonse,_Duke…http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henri_d%27Orl%C3%A9a…

The first is the direct descendant of Napolean, the other two of House Bourbon by way of two different family branches.

lou's avatar

lou · 90 weeks ago

Now I have to find out just how much territory the Hapsburgs ruled! My parents visited their old palace in Vienna, Austria, and learned they basically ruled all of Europe, but Mexico too?!
The closest I have to that drinking in class story is when I had to take an American Studies course when I went to SJSU, and we had our last regular meeting before finals in the Gordon-Bierscht microbrewery in San Jose. There we were, giving presentations on various topics, while drinking different types of GB’s original brews!
Mitch H.'s avatar

Mitch H. · 90 weeks ago

Philip II (he of the Spanish Armada, widower of England’s Mary I, aka “Bloody Mary”) ruled about a third to two-fifths of the world in the early 1580s after inheriting the Portuguese throne, although his wars with his rebellious Dutch subjects and former English subjects had already started dismantling the Portuguese empire in the East Indies, and Spanish dominion in the West Indies.

And the professor was an idiot. The colony of Tejas was under a Hapsburg king for maybe fifteen years before the Bourbon succession. And the Austrian branch of the family *never* had a claim on the Spanish possessions in the New World.

lou's avatar

lou · 89 weeks ago

Portuguese? Philip II was King of Spain
Bear's avatar

Bear · 90 weeks ago

Woke up around noon on a Saturday, opened the fridge, saw a beer, and thought, “Why not?”. Skip ahead ALL THE BEERS later to me waking up laying on the dog bed in the dark and thinking, “I don’t remember going to bed here last night.” I checked my phone and saw that it was 8 o’clock… in the evening. I’d managed to drink myself onto the floor in a few hours and “nap” the day away.
I have 2 stories.

The first is from college.

My room mate and I picked up a bunch of little packets of slushy mix that Kool-Aid made. i don’t think they’re made anymore, sadly. We’d mix them with vodka and freeze them in solo cups and then wander around campus eating boozy slushy and nobody knew. NOBODY KNEW. Stealth drank.

The second involves breakfast.

I made some absolutely incredible bread pudding, studded with orange and bourbon soaked raisins, with an amazing bourbon sauce that was… very, very strong. So my parents came over and I made scrambled eggs and bacon and this intensely fantastic bread pudding and coffee and we all got breakfast tipsy off the bourbon sauce.

Emmy's avatar

Emmy · 90 weeks ago

There is a horse race in Australia called the Melbourne Cup, AKA ‘the race that stops a nation’. It’s held on a Tuesday, around lunchtime. Almost every office stops for the race and there’s sandwiches and champers or beer. I learnt early on not to send emails after Melbourne Cup Lunch – there is a risk that you’ll piss off soemone who you really don’t want to piss off.

1 reply · active 90 weeks ago

 beer o'clock 's avatar

beer o’clock · 90 weeks ago

II can’t count the number of times I’ve been day drunk! I’d have to say my favorite is water parks and theme parks. We would carefully unscrew lids off water bottles so that little ring would stay attached to the cap and pour in any clear Booz we wanted then re-seal them. Most parks let you take in water and not much else so we took full advantage of their naiveté.
There’s never a bad time to have a drink.
Hey, It’s gotta be Noon somewhere right? 😛
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bubujin_2 · 90 weeks ago

Once in college a buddy and I mixed up 3/4 of a gallon of strawberry daiquiri and took it to afternoon classes to share with our fellow students. After three classes I know we were definitely feeling a good buzz–buddy swore I was day drunk but I didn’t think so.
Aetheling's avatar

Aetheling · 90 weeks ago

Last year, me and a friend mixed up White Russian and put it over cereal (Cinnamon Grahams, to be precise) to go to an 9AM lecture with breakfast after a heavy night of drunken Risk. The lecturer didn’t realise that the milk in the tupperwares…wasn’t.
Then we went home and did it again, until about three in the afternoon, when we both passed out.
Holly's avatar

Holly · 90 weeks ago

Everyone’s favorite: the Office Christmas Party. Except I was working in a theater, and the party started at 11am. We drank during the “awards ceremony” at the theater, drank in a party bus on the way to a restaurant/arcade, drank while playing ski ball and Pacman, then drank in the party bus on the way back to work. Best. Party. Ever. One of the accountants had to call his son to pick him up from work.
The only downside: being a theater the real work actually started at 5pm. I’m pretty sure I didn’t sober up until intermission.
Runcibletune's avatar

Runcibletune · 90 weeks ago

While I have no day-drunk stories to relate, I want to say that I think this is one of your finest comics, Joel. Something about the pacing of the puns, juxtaposed against the way you’ve drawn Eli on the floor… it’s still making me chuckle just thinking about it!

1 reply · active 89 weeks ago

That’s very kind. Thanks!