The Bell Curve


Harry Potter fans: Check out my wife’s new Wizard Duel necklace! She’s also got a Kissing Pacman necklace and Game Of Thrones house necklaces for House Targaryen, House Stark and House Lannister.

Having a small child is like having an iPod with a very short playlist. Like 3 items are on this list AT MOST for MONTHS at a time. Also, that little repeat loopy arrow button is checked. It’s checked as hell. There are weeks when you would kill for all 3 items to be in random rotation on the playlist, but instead it’s just the 1 and the iPod has nearly infinite batteries and is able to achieve optimum volume at all times. For several months now, the Frozen soundtrack has been the ONLY item on the playlist that is a metaphor that is my human daughter child.

Luckily, the Frozen soundtrack is something I enjoy (in relative moderation… as I have recently learned). My daughter’s singing is also something that I enjoy. My daughter enjoying things and expressing her enjoyment of those things is ALSO something I enjoy. This confluence of enjoyable things sounds like it would leave me in a state of pure elation at all waking hours of the day. That is… often not the case.

The honesty in the comic above is that just when I think I can’t take any more of her belting “For The First Time In Forever” it loops back around from earsplitting and annoying to incredibly cute and heart warming. Regardless of where I happen to fall on the curve at any given time, I make sure to tell Kiddo that I like her singing. Luckily she seems to have inherited the old man’s sense of pitch, so her singing is LOUD but in tune. Another thing I’ve noticed is that she’s inherited my gift/curse for voice mimicry. I cannot sing a song without doing the original artists inflections, accents, tone, etc. She appears to be the same way, and it honestly makes me super proud. Not that this is some amazing gift, but just that it further illustrates that pieces of me are alive and running around inside of her brain.

COMMENTERS: What do you kids have on repeat ad infinitum? What did you have on repeat as a kid?


Full Grown Froze Bros


Bro, do you even Frozen? I’m really getting sick of all these “Fake Frozen Kids” wearing all the Frozen shirts and buying up all the Frozen dolls and dressing up in Elsa costumes and POSING like real diehard Frozeholes Brozen* (what REAL, ADULT Frozen fans call ourselves) and just clogging up the genuine fandom with their poser bullshit.

CONVENTION TIME! Emerald City Comicon in Seattle (March 28-30, 2014) with David Willis in the webcomics section right next to Cyanide & Happiness.

My first ever solo ECCC panel: It will be all about The Experiment and I need BUTTS IN SEATS! SEATBUTTS! You GOTTA COME to this panel. I am also doing a live drawing panel with my Cyanide & Happiness friends. More info on both panels HERE

My wife made a Kissing Pacman and Ms. Pacman necklace. Also available in double Pacmens or Pacladies configurations. She’s also updated her Game Of Thrones house necklaces to include House Targaryen (in addition to House Stark and House Lannister).

COMMENTERS: What “thing(s) made for kids” do you genuinely enjoy more than adults are meant to? 

[*Thank you, David, for reminding me.]


You And I’ll Just Use A Little Patience


With this comic, I might be foretelling my own future since I will be at Emerald City Comicon in Seattle (March 28-30, 2014) with my good friend David Willis and I don’t expect we’ll actually get any work done since we’ll just be holding hands and singing “Let It Go” into each other’s faces all weekend. Assuming we take a couple of brakes to rehydrate and let our pipes rest (yes PIPES… shut up), we’ll be in the webcomics section right next to Cyanide & Happiness.

Also I will be putting on my first ever solo comicon panel! It will be all about The Experiment, and I am SUPER excited. I did a version of this talk at Bumbershoot this year and it went over really well, but in order for it to be successful I need BUTTS IN SEATS! SEATBUTTS! If you’re coming to the con, Seattle Fancy Bastards, you GOTTA COME to this panel. I am also doing a live drawing panel with my Cyanide & Happiness friends. More info on both panels HERE

Just in tine for Valentimes, my wife made a Kissing Pacman and Ms. Pacman necklace. She would also be happy to make it in double Pacmens or Pacladies configurations. She’s also updated her Game Of Thrones house necklaces to include House Targaryen (in addition to House Stark and House Lannister).

COMMENTERS: When are you the least patient? When others are freaking out with impatience, when are you the only one keeping their cool?


With Age Comes Perspective


3 New Shirts at @Sharksplode!
Wibbly Wobbly Timey WimeyRival Smugglers and Might Club!

Hey look at that! I didn’t do a Disney/Star Wars pop culture mashup. Maybe I (that ACTUAL me) is maturing in some way. Or perhaps (and certainly more likely) ALL OF THEM WERE ALREADY DONE while I was in the middle of the last story line.

There’s a great discussion about the Disney buyout of Lucasfilm over in the Fancy Bastard Facebook Group. Feel free to join in there or continue it here by posting your thoughts in the comments below.

Honestly, I agree with my cartoon persona above. The thing that Star Wars is now holds little to no interest for me as an adult fan of quality science fiction and fantasy. If Disney just uses its recent acquisition to make new toys, kid’s shows, pajamas, theme parks, candy shaped like Boba Fett’s helmet, and video games then I will have lost nothing more than I lost over a decade ago. If, however, they use this opportunity (free of Lucas’s writing and directing poison) to course correct the entire Star Wars franchise into something that I can enjoy without groaning again, then more power to them. Or rather, ALL POWER to them because that seems like the direction they are moving in.

ANOTHER THING: Check out this Interview I did with The 4th Wall. It contains basically everything I know about making comics for a living. I have no other knowledge to impart.

AUSTIN, TX FANCY BASTARDS!!! Come to THIS in December or your regrets will never cease.


Myth Busted


The Djin spends the first 30 minutes begging Perseus to wish for all the sand to be replaced with cocaine then another 45 minutes riffing non sequiturs and doing a bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impression.
I didn’t see Clash Of The Titans, nor to I plan to. The onslaught of overwhelmingly negative comments on twitter (from people and trusted and from strangers) was enough to make me save my rare trip to the moving picture theatre for Kick Ass. Feel free to share your impressions of the movie in the comments, and I will share the tweets what were share with me by you Fancy Bastards. SHARING! [share]
  • @Kwago Clash of Titans was like a big budget episode of Xena. But worse, because it didn’t have Xena. Aiaiaiaiaiai!!
  • @dopefish3d Clash of the Titans. Blech. If you must, do NOT go 3D. It was wretchedly done.
  • @robotboots More like Clash of the Suck Balls