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Monkey Sea, Monkey Cruise

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The HIJINKS ENSUE STORE Is where you can buy stuff that I made! It supports me and my family and keeps this littler operation going.Funny T-Shirts, Geeky shirts, Doctor who parody shirts, Team Edward James Olmos shirt, Groverfield Shirt, Sci-Five Star Trek Parody T-Shirt in The HijiNKS ENSUE Store

The Jonathan Coulton Cruise, JoCo Cruise Crazy II, is only a month away! Do you see my pants? Do you see how excited they are! EXCITEDPANTS!

A few more things you should know about JoCo Cruise Crazy II:

  • The only form of currency accepted on the ship are “secrets whispered into a beard.”
  • If Paul F. Tompkins catches you without a mustache you must answer his riddle lest you be forced to wear the “Shame Fez” and fed to a shark.
  • All island dwelling children are to be treated as hostile and you should throw bits of glass and screws into their eyes before they can lunge for your pockets (which should be filled with a jellyfish just in case).
  • There is a 24 hour buffet so revoltingly opulent as to make Poseidon himself vomit with embarrassment.
  • Should you find yourself caressing an unwilling dolphin it is best to commit to the path you have chosen and power through.
  • And finally there’s a secret gaming room on board that can’t be found on any map. You can only enter if you have a real need of it, and it’s always equipped with the right dice for the seeker’s needs.

I’ve only been on 2 proper vacations in the last decade, and one of them was sort of terrible (thanks Mexico).  Because of my poor vacation track record, I am particularly overwhelmed that not only am I getting to take my wife on a fabulously geeky cruise, but I am also going to be accompanied by a multitude of friends. From the world of Internet dick pictures, I will be joined by David “ShrimpPants” Willis and Rob “Internet Dick Pictures” DikPicter DenBleyker. From the adjacent world of geekery Internetted, w00tstocked, televised and otherwised, I will also be joined by my friends Paul, Storm, Stepto, The entire Wheaton Family, Dammit Liz, Marian, Atom & Kathleen, and quite literally a host of others. Plus John Hodgman will be there standing in judgement of us all, while John Flansburgh DJ’s the dancefloor and Paul F. Tompkins hosts karaoke! What was that thing I said about my pants? Oh yeah, excited.

I’m sure I will say this 1000 times between now and when I ask you do it again next year, but THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH to all the Fancy Bastards that purchased prints to help me raise money for this trip. It most definitely would not have been possible if not for your unwavering support and intense generosity. I am going to swim with a fucking dolphin! Can you believe that shit?

COMMENTERS: Assuming you are aware of the cruise and who will be performing/ in attendance, please come up with the rest of the Secret JoCo Cruise Rules and Customs. 

CONVENTION NEWS: I am working on finalizing my convention schedule for 2012 and there are 4-5 shows that are still up in the air as of today. Luckily I can announce that I will be making my first appearance at the Calgary Expo, April 26-29 with Blind Ferret