I’m With Stupid


Check out these geeky lightsaber earrings my wife made!
etsy lightsaber earrings star wars jewelry

This is the final #1stPanel comic using the suggestion is “A man with a dog calls 911.”. I hope you’re enjoying this weird little experiment while I am away at New York Comic Con.

My Patreon Patrons got ENTIRELY different comics than the ones posted on this site. You got five comics this week, and they got TEN. Sign up to be a Patron and you’ll get them all too!

Patrons: Here’s your exclusive bonus alternate version of today’s comic!

Do you want A TON of bonus, extra and alternate comics?!  Then my Patreon is THE PLACE for you. Every little bit helps me continue to make a living, and is QUITE appreciated.


Git ‘Er Dunham

If you enjoy HijiNKS ENSUE at all, and you want to see it continue, or you support my EXPERIMENT to try and make a living from this comic PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take 60 seconds and fill out this marketing survey [LINK]. It’s 23 multiple choice questions and it shouldn’t take more than a minute. It would really mean a lot to me.




I was going to write a long post about how fucking tragic it is that America embraces lowest common denominator comedy but I think I nailed it with my early synopsis: Basically Jeff Dunham has a show where incredibly racist puppets do incredibly racist things. If he were actually funny, I wouldn’t be offended at all. It’s lazy comedy and it sucks.

I remember watching this guy in the 90’s when I was a kid and… yes, I admit I wanted to be a ventriloquist [dodges all the things you are throwing at my head place]. At the time he had his main fuzzy green monkey muppet, Peanut, and the jalapeno pepper-on-a-stick guy. When I was 11 the fact that the pepper character was sleepy and lazy and slow witted didn’t really register with me. Growing up in SE Texas the only Mexicans I knew about were cartoon mice with sombreros. The seeds of lazy racist comedy were there 15 years ago. Now his line up of co-starts consists of: Aforementioned green fuzz monkey guy, old guy, lazy mexican food stuff, black pimp with gold chains, dumb ass white redneck Nascar dude (psst… America, he’s making fun of YOU) and THE CORPSE OF A DEAD FUCKING MUSLIM TERRORIST! WTF!? I just… I have no idea.

It isn’t his racist, no-effort comedy that offends me. It’s the fact that it works; that America loves it. What a waste of LOLS.

Books are going out in the mail every day. Artist Editions are taking forever because I want the drawing to be personalized and good and not 400 sketched of Josh’s face looking slightly to the left.

When you get your book, post a pic on Twitter with the tag #hebook.



If An F-Bomb Drops In The Woods

…and no one is still watching SNL, does anyone give a crap?

After my spinal tap on Thursday, I am on day 4 of “24 hour migraine explosion time.” Looks like I won’t be able to get a blood patch to potentially cure the “spinal headaches,” so I am banking on bed rest, fluids and complaining (the healing triad).

If you are keeping track at home, I spent the first few weeks of September on the couch with horrible back pain due to a bulging disk. Now I get to spend the rest of if on the same couch with nausea, light sensitivity and the feeling that my brain is swelling to the size of… larger than it should be. It’s hard to think of funny analogies when your brain hurts. I’m sharing all this not to garner your pity, but to help you realize under what strain and difficulty this comic was produced. If it isn’t funny or up to snuff, cut me some slack and hope for LOLier pastures later in the week. I’m not even sure what characters I drew. I made this comic while squinting through the visual cacophony of blinding white hate-flashes you people call “light.” It burns us. Burns our eyes and our minds.

With this comic completed I will begin to seal myself up into a darkened cocoon fashioned from mud, twigs and my own secretions. I will either emerge a beautiful healed butterfly, or dead. OK, maybe I am fishing for some pity. It’s been a shitty month.


Seven Words

Don’t forget “fart,” “turd” and “twat.”

I dare you to watch this and not laugh your ass off. It’s not just the words. It’s the delivery. Listen to the cadence of his voice. Look at the expressiveness of his face and hands.

When I was young, I was obsessed with stand up comedy. I’d devour as much as I could access. Comedy was important to me. I appreciated the craft like you might appreciate classical music. The process, the work behind the jokes fascinated me. George Carlin was a master of the craft. He managed to stay relevant until the day he died and left a legacy of laughs that generations to come will enjoy and find personal meaning in.

My favorite George Carlin moment was during one of his hour long specials (HBO or Showtime) during the early 90’s. I was 11 or 12 and living in a small refinery town called Beaumont, TX. I certainly wasn’t supposed to be watching late night foul mouthed comedy, but that is neither here nor there. Carlin starts setting up a joke (of which I have forgotten both the set up and the punchline), about the worst titty bar he ever played in. It was a dive. A shithole. And it was in the most miserable little refinery town he’d ever seen. A stain on America called… Beaumont, TX.

I felt so validated at that moment. A few days later I told my Mom that a comedian had mentioned Beaumont on TV. I don’t know how I’d planned to follow that up since I obviously couldn’t repeat the joke.

“What did he say?”

“Oh, it was just a joke. I don’t remember it.”

If you know the joke in question, please share it (or any other favorite Carlin moments) in the comments or this thread in the Forum.

Godspeed, George Carlin. Godspeed, you fancy bastard.

Doug Benson Love(d) Movies

2008-01-04-doug-bensonI was looking for something funny to listen to while I draw the comic and came across Doug Benson Love’s Movies. It’s a comedy Podcast where Doug Benson (from VH1’s Best Week Ever) and another comedian talk about the movies that are coming out that week and destroy them. Looks like they stopped producing the show sometime last year, so i am going through the archives now. There are about 30 total and they feature most of my favorite comedians:

Brian Posehn
Patton Oswalt
Maria Bamford
Sarah Silverman

David Cross
Bob Odenkirk
Zach Galifianakis

Paul F. Tompkins
Paul Scheer
Bil Dwyer

The best part is the “Leonard Maltin Game” they play in each show where the guest finds a movie from the 80’s or 90’s in Leonard Maltin’s book and reads the actors names in reverse order (bit parts to stars) until Doug can guess the movie.

If you like it when people make fun of things (and if you’re reading this, you probably do) check it out.