2015-10-09-sharksplode-im-with-stupid

I’m With Stupid

2015-10-09-sharksplode-im-with-stupid

 

Check out these geeky lightsaber earrings my wife made!
etsy lightsaber earrings star wars jewelry

This is the final #1stPanel comic using the suggestion is “A man with a dog calls 911.”. I hope you’re enjoying this weird little experiment while I am away at New York Comic Con.

My Patreon Patrons got ENTIRELY different comics than the ones posted on this site. You got five comics this week, and they got TEN. Sign up to be a Patron and you’ll get them all too!

Patrons: Here’s your exclusive bonus alternate version of today’s comic!

Do you want A TON of bonus, extra and alternate comics?!  Then my Patreon is THE PLACE for you. Every little bit helps me continue to make a living, and is QUITE appreciated.

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2015-10-05-sharksplode-harmful-if-ingested

Harmful If Ingested

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I’m going to be in New York for NYCC all week, and almost immediately after I get home, I’m going to Austin, TX for Webcomic Rampage. This means this week we’re going to try an experiment. Last weekend I asked Twitter and Facebook to give me characters, settings and situations for the first panel of a comic. No dialog, no references, and just very simple set ups. Then I have to make an entire comic that comes AFTER that first panel! For this week I am going to try to make FIVE COMICS based on the suggestion “A man with a dog calls 911.” Since I’m going to be at a convention booth 10 hours a day, I will mostly be using the same art… mostly. I’ll toss in some weirdness where I can.

My Patreon Patrons will be getting ENTIRELY different comics than the ones posted on this site. You’ll be getting 4-5 comics this week, and they’ll be getting TEN. Sign up to be a Patron and you’ll get them all too!

In fact, they can see an alternate dialog version of this comic, RIGHT NOW!

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I am traveling for most of the rest of the month of October and the first week of November, so I hope you guys enjoy the #1stPanel comics since they will likely continue through October and into November. Hell, it’s been pretty fun so far. This might BECOME what Sharksplode IS. We’ll see. I have enough suggestions to go for months, but if you want to toss yours in the mix, please do it via Twitter, @hijinksensue and using the hashtag #1stPanel.

Do you want A TON of bonus, extra and alternate comics from the ones that appear on this site?! Do you want to support my ability to make a living from creating weird comics?! Then my Patreon is THE PLACE for you. Every little bit helps and is QUITE appreciated.

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2015-07-01-sharksplode-sharing-size

Sharing Size

2015-07-01-sharksplode-sharing-size

THIS ISN’T AN AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL COMIC ABOUT ME! SHUT UP! NO IT ISN’T! I’M NOT UGLY CRYING YOU’RE UGLY CRYING! YOU’RE THE ONE! YOOOOOOOU’RE THEEEEEEE OOOOOOOOONE!!! *ugly cries into a Nestle Cookies & Cream bar for 20 minutes

Remember like 5-10 years ago when a big bag of M&M’s was just a BIG BAG of M&M’s? It was just an option. A choice. Do I want some M&M’s or do I want some-and-a-half M&M’s? Now the slightly bigger bag of M&M’s has all this preloaded judgement and shame. First of all, it provides the nutritional information for one serving, then goes on to the describe the bag as something like two and a half servings. A bit of nearly impossible math later and you feel bad for wanting to eat 28 M&M’s instead of 11. Then, as the panels above suggest, the bag is labeled “Sharing Size.” This is a masterful one-two punch of shame. First, it implies that only a gross garbage monster would eat the entire bag in one sitting. THEN it goes on to imply that only a gross garbage monster with no friends would eat ANY amount of M&M’s alone! This bag isn’t for you! It’s for you AND your friends! Call them up, “Hey dudes! You got plans for tonight? NOT ANY MORE! I’ve got a Nestle Crunch bar that breaks into 4 pieces and explicitly states that it is to be shared with my buddies! You’ll bring the beer and the music? SOUNDS LIKE A FUCKING CANDY BAR PARTY!!!”

“Sharing Size” is such a horseshit excuse. It’s a smokescreen; a cop-out that absolves the candy company from any wrong doing if you eat a million candy bars and die in a chocolate ditch. “We told him to share. Did he heed our words?” Big candy bars used to be called “King Size.” Some still carry this nomenclature and I prefer it by far. It’s the exact opposite of “Sharing Size.” “King Size” implies that I am the sole RULER of this candy bar, and under no obligation to parse it out to the peasants groveling in their own squalor in the mucky fields far beneath the chocolate tower that contains my delicious throne. “Oh, the serfs are unhappy, you say? Let them eat SHIT, cuz the candy is for THE KING! It says so right on the wrapper.”