UPDATE: This comic is totally a shirt now!!! 
Han And Chewie “I Know” shirts are live at Sharksplode!

Han And Chewbacca - I Love You / I Know, Han And Chewie Star Wars Parody Funny T-Shirt

Seattle Fancy Bastards! I am coming for you this weekend! Read more HERE

Notice how every other alien’s dialog is subtitled in Star Wars except for Chewie’s? That’s because every word out of his mouth was a declaration of love, and only one person can understand the truth in his heart. He was more than Han Solo’s co-pilot. He was his co-partner. Of course the films DID take place “a long time ago,” so some predjudice is to be expected. Why do you think Chewie didn’t get a medal at the end of A New Hope? Interstellar bigotry, that’s why! Sure, they called themselves “Rebels,” but more than the Empire they are rebelling against love.

Basically Brokeback Mountain is a modern day retelling of Star Wars. Two cowboys (smugglers) hide their true feelings by assuming “normal” lives except for on their long, secluded retreats (deep space runs in the Falcon), and even go as far as to marry women they don’t really love (Leia and Malla) to keep up appearances for fear of reprisal from their community (the Rebels). It really is a tragic story of love, denial and persecution. Also there’s this winy kid who gets his hand cut off. Spoilers.

COMMENTERS: Doesn’t the Star Wars Trilogy make SO MUCH MORE sense now? If you agree with my groundbreaking new understanding of the greatest film love story of all time, feel free to elaborate in the comments. What were the clues? Why was Han really so anxious to get his reward and get back to the Falcon? He wanted to start a nestegg for he and Chewie. Why was he so apprehensive about giving the Falcon to Lando? Because that was the only place he was able to be himself with his partner!



Of Draculas And Candy Corn


Happy Halloween! Please do not smash my jack-o-lantern or murder my pets! Here, take some candy to stifle your Satan-fueled rage!

There is a new HijiNKS ENSUE Podcast. Episode 67 is ready to download for free. Vault subscribers can get the uncut version of the show (unedited and almost 2 hours long) and the post show as well.

I have good new for those of you interested in the British Knights shirt. It should be on sale this weekend or early next week. I will update this post with a link when it goes live. It looks fantastic and I am super proud of it.

Give Me the Coffee You Fairy Godmother

COMMENTERS: Are you dressing up this year? What are you going as? What’s the most inventive costume you’ve ever seen? What’s the worst “sexy _____” costume you’ve seen (i.e. sexy nurse, sexy iron man, sexy Obama, etc).


In The Year 2000, In A Galaxy Far Far Away


Short post because today is my birthday: I thought the new Conan-powered Tonight Show was good. Leno is a hack. Jimmy Fallon is terrible. There are a few Conan-specific references in this one that many of  you probably won’t identify with. I started watching Conan when I was in middle school when his show was little more than public access with a slightly higher budget. It was frighteningly weird and I loved it. As it got more mainstream I stopped watching but I always got the feeling that Conan O’Brien was “one of us.” He’s just a lanky red-haired geek who happens to have a really high profile job on TV. I wish him the best.