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So Sad We All

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Threeboot, bitches! New term. Just invented it. You may use it sparingly with my permission. [UPDATE: Yes, I now know that the term “threeboot’ was coined by fans of Legion of Superheroes back before the dawn of time. LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT!]

I honestly can’t think of any other recent threeboots, unless you count The Incredible Hulk and The Hulk.  The Edward Norton version was a loose sequel to the Ang Lee version, so I don’t know if threeboot status applies. Regardless, the idea of Bryan Singer re-rebooting Battlestar Galactica this soon after the end of the SyFy SciFi TV series just seems ludicrous (even though he had the idea nearly a decade ago). The geek community at large still has Sixes and Starbucks and Final Five Cylons on the brain. We’re still reeling with the revelations of season 4 and the intense disappointments of season 4.5. I don’t think we’re quite ready to move on. It’s like breaking up with a girl then immediately dating a different girl with the same name. All your friends would look at you weird.

hijinks-ensue-godspeed-you-fancy-bastard-book-300x300Now to play Cylon’s advocate: Ron Moore’s BSG series borrowed very little from the original. Many of the names were the same but the characters had virtually none of the same traits as their 70’s counterparts and often not even the same gender. The Cylons in the original series were created by a long dead race of alien lizards so there aren’t really any parallels in that respect either (though I would have preferred “Alien Lizards did it” to “Mommy issues and Jesus did it”). Since the two series were related almost in name only, is it possible that Singer could reboot the original without affecting/tarnishing Ron Moore’s BSG? I think it is. Bryan Singer made both of the good X-Men movies, so we know he has it in him to do this up right. Of course he also made Superman Returns, so there’s a good chance the humans will fall before the Cylon threat because they spent the entire movie running around crying like sad vaginas.

Honestly, the Ron Moore-boot we all loved for 3 (maybe 3 and a half) didn’t even really need to be called Battlestar Galactica other than for instant name recognition and potential nostalgia appeal. It could have been called Battleship Galactitron, or Spacelaser Hyperdrive Boat and I still would have watched it. This new-boot movie probably won’t resemble MY BSG enough to truly make me angry at it. I want to approach this with an open mind because I want more good scifi on TV and in the theaters. What would be super rad is if this movie is so popular they turn it into a TV series. Then the universe would implode.