A Real Fixer-Upper

“Winter Is Coming” shirts are now IN THE STORE!!! [based on this comic]

American Horror Story is only 5 episodes in and it’s already banana tits insane. Every single day 100 unspeakable horrors  happen to the family in the murder house, any one of which would cause regular, sane people to curl up into the fetal position and scream until they were dead. It is impossible to watch this show without constantly wondering WHY ARE THEY STILL IN THE HOUSE!?!?!! At any given time there are at least 3 creepy murder neighbors (2 of which are probably ghosts) lurking uninvited in the house, 3 or 4 people are who supposed to be dead (and probably are) trying to break into the house and a host of demons, ghouls and haunting visions plaguing every waking moment of this family’s lives yet they never just GET THE FUCK OUT. Oh, the market is bad? You can’t sell the house without being upside down? FUCK IT! GET OUT! SAVE YOURSELVES! It’s super frustrating how unbelievable everyone’s actions and reactions are. It’s like asking us to believe a family gets a new dog and it turns out the dog farts bullets, so every single day someone is getting accidentally fart-shot and yet they NEVER get rid of the dog.

COMMENTERS: Are you watching American Horror Story? Post your thoughts, theories, etc. in the comments. I’m sure there will be some spoilers, so read at your own risk.