Check And Mate

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out ourĀ University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

You know that thing where you try to make fun of a stupid movie premise by assuming the absolute dumbest thing they could possibly do with the source material, and then they ruin all your fun by actually doing that thing? Yeah, that really sucks the life out of a joke.

Just to be clear: in Battleship, which is a REAL board game-based movie that is REALLY coming out next year, the alien spaceship shoots pegs into the battleships. For actual really for real. [click image to embiggen]

Dallas Fancy Bastards! I am going to be at STRIP: The Dallas Webcomic Expo this Saturday [August 6th] from 10-5pm. It’s only $5 to get in. Come get a book or a sketch. It’s a very low key show and I’ll probably be doing a fun times panel with the dude from Cyanide and Happiness.

I am also going to be attending the Marian Call concert tomorrow night (Tuesday the 2nd) at Poor David’s Pub in Dallas. You should come.

Last thing: My AC died today and living without AC in Texas is not an option. The new unit is costing me $3000. SPOILERS: I don’t have 1 thousand of dollars, let alone 3 of them. If you enjoy my ability to make comics without dying of heat stroke, please consider making a donation, buying something from the store or buying something from Sharksplode.

Battleship: The Movie, The Game, The Breakfast Cereal

Ever hungry for new (old) intellectual properties to exploit, Universal is now working on taking classic Hasbro board games like Monopoly and Battleship to the big screen. I only foresee positive outcomes. I want these movies greenlit, and rushed into production so I can enjoy them by X-Mas. In fact, I’m so enthusiastic that I’m pitching my own spin on these movies and a few others to the studios later this month:

Monopoly: Matt Damon is an up and coming real estate executive that uncovers a nefarious plot by his firm to destroy all of their competition. Ends with climactic train, car, top hat chase through the Boardwalk.

Uno – Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are rival card sharks in Mexico. A tale of sex, action and intrigue. You can cut the sexual tension between them with a single card.

Connect 4 – A family (2 brothers and 2 sisters) separated at birth must cross the country to reunite after their biological mother’s death. In finding each other they find themselves. Sundance 2008. Fox Searchlight will produce. Stars are Philip Seymour Hoffman, Paul Giamatti, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Hillary Swank. Meryl Streep in the mom in a flashback.

Jenga – Gripping, too-real tale of the heroes, heroines and horrors of 9/11 (you were thinking it too).

Risk – Clint Eastwood directs. Its 14 hours long. Donnie Wahlberg and Ron Livingston star.

Guess Who – Ben Afleck has a list of 40 individuals, some with glasses, some with brown hair, only one of them is the killer. Can he “Guess Who” before they strike again?

Speaking of board games: if you are into them and would like to try something new, check out Cheap Ass Games. They are, well, inexpensive games that generally require you to provide the game pieces, dice, etc. from other games you have around the house.

Personal favorites are:

Kill Dr. Lucky – It’s like Clue in reverse. You must find a room and a weapon and murder the good doctor without anyone seeing)

Captain Park’s Imaginary Polar Expedition – You did not go on a fascinating polar expedition, but you must convince the wealthy elite that you did with tails of daring do and false artifacts.

U.S. Patent Number 1 – Build your time machine, outfit it with weaponry then race your rivals to the patent office, not only to be the first to patent the time machine, but also the first to patent ANYTHING!

My friend, Wes, introduced me to Cheap Ass Games about 7 years ago. They are inventive, imaginative and quite funny. Simpler and cheaper than Halo, they offer a pretty good way to spend an afternoon.

Any other ideas for board game movies? Post yours in the comments.