Now It’s Time To Leave The Capsule If You Dare

THE END, FOREVER… of this storyline!

I should probably mention that I will be at San Diego Comicon this year with Blind Ferret and Something*Positive at booth #1231. I will have books and shirts and prints and sketches and a look on my face like, “WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS OUT OF CONTROL WHY DO THEY EVEN CALL THIS A CON WHY NOT JUST CALL IT FUCK YOU?!?!?”


COMMENTERS: If a post-apocalyptic future group of nomadic wasteland types had only one movie to base a belief system and eventually a society around, which should it be and why? Don’t say Galaxy Quest, because that would be so meta the Omega 13 would collapse on itself.

Comments (52)

Is Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure too meta also?

1 · active 97 weeks ago

How about “The Gods Must Be Crazy”? That’s pretty meta too.
Djorra's avatar

Djorra· 99 weeks ago

Probably 2001: A Space Odyssey.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

Jane's avatar

Jane· 99 weeks ago

Can’t be. That makes too much sense.
Oh yay! I was wondering if you were going to be at SDCC but wasn’t going to ask since I have heard you not love it. But, I missed you the last time I went and I’m going again this year! Booth noted!

1 · active 99 weeks ago

I love the people and I love the readers and I love the friends, but the con…. webcomics are not the reason people go to SDCC. We’re almost in the way.
Outis's avatar

Outis· 99 weeks ago

I would really like to see the Religion that would develop out of Monty Pythons Meaning of Life

2 replies · active 99 weeks ago

lou's avatar

lou· 99 weeks ago

Or do you mean Life of Brian?
Faye's avatar

Faye· 99 weeks ago

I honestly expected the first Python reference to be Life of Brian, good pick with Meaning of Life!
MrPlow99's avatar

MrPlow99· 99 weeks ago

I’ll have to go with Dogma since they specifically advocate against belief systems in the movie. So then you’d have a belief system based upon not having a belief system.

3 replies · active 99 weeks ago

lou's avatar

lou· 99 weeks ago

Now THAT would cause a universe-collapsing paradox.
HandiGoat's avatar

HandiGoat· 99 weeks ago

Isn’t that basically Nihilism?
HikingViking's avatar

HikingViking· 99 weeks ago

If they ever do make that Arrested Development movie, that would probably get my vote. Terrifying tales of the Loose Seal breaking out across the wasteland. The chicken dance actually becoming an offensive gesture. “Hot Patato” becoming the national anthem, or scattered tribe anthem I guess. But even better than that would be a postapocalyptic movie that mentions the “good old days”, but never shows what they were. Because how awesome would that be? Imagine if you found a movie that showed life like it is today, but always referenced how great things were “before the fall.” What the hell would that mean? “Oh, we had a cure for AIDS before the fall” someone would say forlornly. What the hell does that even mean?
The Big Lebowsky. Just imagine them building statues of The Dude…., their appointed leaders all growing beards and wearing bathrobes everywhere…, and their greatest law would be “Ho not piss on another man’s rug”
inkstud's avatar

inkstud· 99 weeks ago

Dumb and Dumberer
Mysterious Stranger's avatar

Mysterious Stranger· 99 weeks ago


1 · active 99 weeks ago

Liam's avatar

Liam· 99 weeks ago

One of those Friedberg and Seltzer movies.
That guy's avatar

That guy· 99 weeks ago

“Surely, you’re not serious?” “Yes and don’t call me Shirley.”
Katie's avatar

Katie· 99 weeks ago

Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion. Because I’d like to imagine a post-apocalyptic church all simultaneously shouting, “I’m the Mary! I’m the Mary!” And then ending each service with a crazy dance to Time After Time. They’d also know the recipe for glue.

Reruns of the Mary Tyler Moore Show and Rhoda would be their Dead Sea Scrolls.

Candace's avatar

Candace· 99 weeks ago

Rocky Horror Picture Show. Enough said.
The Lion King; think about it. Hakuna Matata is a mantra in and of itself.
Okay, I won’t say Galaxy Quest… the Last Action Hero.
Batman1016's avatar

Batman1016· 99 weeks ago

Cloud Atlas. How’s that meta for you? A post-apocalyptic society based on a film about a post-apocalyptic society based on a the writings of a clone with a worldview based on a film about freedom from persecution and imprisonment, based on the life of an old man . . . etc, etc.

Course, with my luck, PA society will be based on some shite Tim Burton flick or the Twilight series. Just a planet full of emo jagoffs who worship Johnny Depp and Stephenie Meyer.

Ralph Bakshi’s Wizards?

1 · active 99 weeks ago

Or Fritz the cat. The black crow would be the first marytr.
YoYo_lax's avatar

YoYo_lax· 99 weeks ago

The music video to Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up.”

You just got trolled future scattered remnants of humanity on the brink of extinction. So take that.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

YoYo_lax's avatar

YoYo_lax· 99 weeks ago

Scratch that, “The Warriors.” Thus ensuring an irrational fear of bottles and 80’s hair bands.
Bron's avatar

Bron· 99 weeks ago

I’m really supprised no one has said the princess bride yet…..

So that or Blues Brothers (the initial film obviously….)

Presumably suggesting “The Passion of the Christ” would be a bit too meta aswell 😉
bubujin_2's avatar

bubujin_2· 99 weeks ago

“Pleasantville” would do the trick me thinks.
Faye's avatar

Faye· 99 weeks ago

Serenity: because at least they’ll understand the references to Earth That Was.
DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck· 99 weeks ago

Good god, people. The answer is obviously Army of Darkness.

Everyone goes to bed at night saying “Klattu Beratta Necktie” and wonders why they have nightmares. “It’s a trick, get an axe” is the standard greeting. Every kid hopes they get the chainsaw hand for Boom-stick-mas.

Ceri's avatar

Ceri· 99 weeks ago

Zardoz. Yeah, you heard me.
Chaucer59's avatar

Chaucer59· 99 weeks ago

Has to be tge Big Lebowski. The priest stands over the baptismal font as the initiate is pushed in, backwards, fully clothed; whereupon the priest casts the wild ferret into the tub. As the ferret (having been fed peyote) tries to claw through the initiates chest, he cries out, “Get this fucking marmot offa me!” The parishioners respond, “Get this fucking marmot offa me!” As two deacons roll the initiate into a rug, the priest’s assistant, dressed as a Valkyrie, is lowered on wires onto the altar and rolls her bowling ball into the assembly.

“The Dude abides,” saith the priest.

“The Dude abides,” respond the parishioners.

Alan Grayson's avatar

Alan Grayson· 99 weeks ago

I’m surprised no Fight Club but if I was taking this seriously I’d say Into Great Silence because they haven’t made of movie of A Canticle for Leibowitz yet (and too bad theres no movie of Phillip K. Dick’s Dr. Bloodmoney, or How We Got Along After the Bomb) but in my heart I say The Charlie Brown Christmas Special even though its technically not a movie.
Bryce's avatar

Bryce· 99 weeks ago

I’m going to be completely honest with you, Joel. If The Adventures of Spaag and Skeev were a webcomic, I would read it. I would read it every update. I would subscribe to the RSS Feed.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

runcibletune's avatar

runcibletune· 99 weeks ago

I really want to see them take the box back to Motherboss.
Allen's avatar

Allen· 99 weeks ago

Ghostbusters. The pantheon consists of everyone who’s ever been asked if they’re a god.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

lou's avatar

lou· 99 weeks ago

“Ray, if someone asks if you are a god, you say YES!” Words to live by.
lou's avatar

lou· 99 weeks ago

I say we follow Peter Griffin’s example and establish the Church of the Fonz. Imagine what kind of ceremony you’ll involve jumping over a shark for.
HandiGoat's avatar

HandiGoat· 99 weeks ago

I think it should be Mad Max, because future dystopian peoples deserve to get to high-five eachother knowing that they got it right.
Tony's avatar

Tony· 99 weeks ago

I’m going to throw what I think might be a curveball and suggest: Rosencrantz and Gldenestern are Dead.
AttilaThePBNun's avatar

AttilaThePBNun· 99 weeks ago

How about a Disney movie? “The Aristocats’; what would a society based on a cartoon movie about talking animals be like? Would they all be vegetarians? Expect for fish, of course. They’d eat fish ….
allen's avatar

allen· 99 weeks ago

This comic clearly is calling out for a Spaag and Skeev spin-off series.
lou's avatar

lou· 99 weeks ago

I just love comic-Eli’s insane optimism, even in the face of logic and there’s easier ways to do things. Is he like this all the time?

Mr. Wheaton Goes To Melbourne

Get it now @ Sharksplode! People will be scanning your chest like freaking crazy! 

Wil Wheaton QR Code T-Shirt, The Code, @wilw, WilW, WWDN, Scannable Wil Wheaton Shirt

By the time you read this Wil is probably nearly, if not entirely upside down and with nothing but my sage advice and (hopefully) a bathroom grade machete to protect him. Godspeed, Wheaton, you Fancy Bastard. May your wits and your poop sword keep you in good health, good spirits and good whatever something something bullshit technobabble.

COMMENTERS: Have you ever been successfully trolled by international travel lies? Something like, “When you get to _____, everyone calls each other cuntface. They’ll be insulted if you don’t do it.” What about a similar “initiation prank” at a new job, school, etc? People are pretty much terrible assholes. I’m sure some of you have fallen victim to their assholery.

Holy shit, C2E2 in Chicago is next week. I’ll be with Blind Ferret at Booth 432. You Chicago FB’s saw how well Seattle did in the cookies, coffee, and booze gift  department right? Are you going to let them show you up? Have you seen how shallow the pizza in Seattle is? Are you going to let them win?! [iced or hot soy latte, Starbucks Doubleshots, rum, vodka, tequila, pretty much any kind of chocolate, no nut allergies… I’m just sayin’.]

Sound Financial Planning

If you are waiting on your copy of HE Book 2, PLEASE READ THIS!!!

Ewok Stare T-Shirt from HijiNKS ENSUE


Now that I know where to put my money (or whatever we’re using for currency after the fall of man… gasoline, child slaves, bits of twine and figs, etc), what markets should I stay out of completely? I suppose the industries of soap, literature, safety equipment, and signs with rules on them will dry up pretty quick. Best to keep your portfolio heavy on blunt objects, tank treads and hockey gloves wrapped in barbed wire.

I wonder what it takes to get a Thunderdome franchise. That is assuming they’re franchised at all. I mean there can’t be just the one. I’d assume you have to sign up with the home office, put up an initial investment of $50,000 to $75,000 (or the equivalent value in gasoline soaked child slaves) and then wait to see what territory you get assigned. They probably have to be at least 15-20 miles apart. I hope I get a really cherry spot like “The Outlands” “Dryland” (which is a much better market than “The Ocean City Of Floating Despair”) or “Murdertown,” the town famous for being populated 100% by murderers. Murdertown: Come for the murder, stay for the part where we divy up his clothes and shoes… then run, because you’re next. Actually that’s their old town slogan. Recently they shortened it to Murdertown: Those are some nice boots you got there, stranger.

This comic idea came out of a conversation I had with Zach Weiner, James Ashby, and half of Cyanide and Happiness (the handsome, but evil half) at C2E2 in Chicago last month. Zach later informed me that the concept of “investing in Spikes” came from himself, James, Jason Axinn, and Chason Chaffin. I wanted to make sure credit was given where due and say thanks to those guys for inspiring this stupid jpeg.

COMMENTERS: What other industries and sectors would be good to focus on for the savvy, post-apocalyptic investor?

CHECK IT OUT: I put a desktop version of the “You’re The Last Of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic in The Vault. A shirt is in the works, so stay tuned.

You're The Last Of the Time Lords, Charlie Brown Wallpaper Preview

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The Down Underdome

[The comic is a rough draft for now. I’ve been really sick all week and had another ER visit last night for an allergic reaction to something (don’t know what) that caused a crazy rash over most of my body. Yay for Steroids! The completed comic will be posted late tonight.]

Josh also thinks Tina Turner is the Australian Prime Minister. She isn’t? Right?

I got the idea for this comic when I noticed a link to my “Edward” shirt coming from the Australian SciFi Channel Blog. I realized that they had never made the ugly transition from properly named television network to Polish venereal disease like their US counterpart, SyFy, had. Further inspection revealed that all worldwide SciFi affiliates retained the original nomenclature. I guess American’s are the only ones that need to “imagine greater,” “unthink different,” or “expect disappointment” or whatever their new slogan is.

Come see me and many of your other favorite webcartoonists at Dragon’s Lair Comics. [DETAILS HERE]

Thank you so much to everyone that has purchased one. It is officially my fastest and best selling product ever. I received a sample print today and I think they look great. They will start shipping later this week. I don’t want to say too much, since not everything is finalized yet, but I was contacted by Olmos Productions last week regarding the shirt. Expecting a swift cease and desist order I was overjoyed to learn that they liked the shirt and were interested in working with me on a project or two. More details to come as things unfold.